WIFE AND MOTHER.[*84]
The young wife, when she enters her husband's home, is not, as in our
own country, entering upon a new life as mistress of a house, with
absolute control over all of her little domain. Should her husband's
parents be living, she becomes almost as their servant, and even her
husband is unable to defend her from the exactions of her mother-in-law,
should this new relative be inclined to make full use of the power given
her by custom. Happy is the girl whose husband has no parents. Her
comfort in life is materially increased by her husband's loss, for,
instead of having to serve two masters, she will then have to serve only
one, and that one more kind and thoughtful of her strength and comfort
than the mother-in-law.
In Japan the idea of a wife's duty to her husband includes no thought of
companionship on terms of equality. The wife is simply the housekeeper,
the head of the establishment, to be honored by the servants because she
is the one who is nearest to the master, but not for one moment to be
regarded as the master's equal. She governs and directs the household,
if it be a large one, and her position is one of much care and
responsibility; but she is not the intimate friend of her husband, is in
no sense his confidante or adviser, except in trivial affairs of the
household. She appears rarely with him in public, is expected always to
wait upon him and save him steps, and must bear all things from him with
smiling face and agreeable manners, even to the receiving with open arms
into the household some other woman, whom she knows to bear the relation
of concubine to her own husband.
In return for this, she has, if she be of the higher classes, much
respect and honor from those beneath her. She has, in many cases the
real though often inconsiderate affection of her husband. If she be the
mother of children, she is doubly honored, and if she be endowed with a
good temper, good manners, and tact, she can render her position not
only agreeable to herself, but one of great usefulness to those about
her. It lies with her alone to make the home a pleasant one, or to make
it unpleasant. Nothing is expected of the husband in this direction; he
may do as he likes with his own, and no one will blame him; but if his
home is not happy, even through his own folly or bad temper, the blame
will fall upon his wife, who should by management do whatever is
necessary to supply the deficiencies caused by her husband's
shortcomings. In all things the husband goes first, the wife second. If
the husband drops his fan or his handkerchief the wife picks it up. The
husband is served first, the wife afterwards, and so on through the
countless minutiæ of daily life. It is not the idea of the strong man
considering the weak woman, saving her exertion, guarding and deferring
to her; but it is the less important waiting upon the more important,
the servant deferring to her master.
But though the present position of a Japanese wife is that of a
dependent who owes all she has to her protector, and for whom she is
bound to do all she can in return, the dependence is in many cases a
happy one. The wife's position, especially if she be the mother of
children, is often pleasant, and her chief joy and pride lies in the
proper conduct of her house and the training of her children. The
service of her parents-in-law, however, must remain her first duty
during their lifetime. She must make it her care to see that they are
waited upon and served with what they like at meals, that their clothes
are carefully and nicely made, and that countless little attentions are
heaped upon them. As long as her mother-in-law lives, the latter is the
real ruler of the house; and though in many cases the elder lady prefers
freedom from responsibility to the personal superintendence of the
details of housekeeping, she will not hesitate to require of her
daughter-in-law that the house be kept to her satisfaction. If the
maiden's lot is to be the first daughter-in-law in a large family, she
becomes simply the one of the family from whom the most drudgery is
expected, who obtains the fewest favors, and who is expected to have
always the pleasantest of tempers under circumstances not altogether
conducive to repose of spirit. The wife of the oldest son has, however,
the advantage that, when her mother-in-law dies or retires, she becomes
the mistress of the house and the head lady of the family, a position
for which her apprenticeship to the old lady has probably exceptionally
well fitted her.
Next to her parents-in-law, her duty is to her husband. She must herself
render to him the little services that a European expects of his valet.
She must not only take care of his clothing, but must bring it to him
and help him put it on, and must put away with care whatever he has
taken off; and she often takes pride in doing with her own hands many
acts of service which might be left to servants, and which are not
actually demanded of her, unless she has no one under her to do them. In
the poorer families all the washing, sewing, and mending that is
required is always done by the wife; and even the Empress herself is not
exempt from these duties of personal service, but must wait upon her
husband in various ways.
When the earliest beams of the sun shine in at the cracks of the dark
wooden shutters which surround the house at night, the young wife in the
family softly arises, puts out the feeble light of the _andon_,[15]
which has burned all night, and, quietly opening one of the sliding
doors, admits enough light to make her own toilet. She dresses hastily,
only putting a few touches here and there to her elaborate coiffure,
which she has not taken down for her night's rest.[16] Next she goes to
arouse the servants, if they are not already up, and with them prepares
the modest breakfast. When the little lacquer tables, with rice bowls,
plates, and chopsticks are arranged in place, she goes softly to see
whether her parents and husband are awake, and if they have hot water,
charcoal fire, and whatever else they may need for their toilet. Then
with her own hands, or with the help of the servants, she slides back
the wooden shutters, opening the whole house to the fresh morning air
and sunlight. It is she, also, who directs the washing and wiping of the
polished floors, and the folding and putting away of the bedding, so
that all is in readiness before the morning meal.
[15] The _andon_ is the standing lamp, inclosed in a paper case, used as
a night lamp in all Japanese houses. Until the introduction of kerosene
lamps, the _andon_ was the only light used in Japanese houses. The light
is produced by a pith wick floating in a saucer of vegetable oil.
[16] The pillow used by ladies is merely a wooden rest for the head,
that supports the neck, leaving the elaborate head-dress undisturbed.
The hair is dressed by a professional hair-dresser, who comes to the
house once in two or three days. In some parts of Japan, as in Ki[=o]to,
where the hair is even more elaborately dressed than in T[=o]ky[=o], it is
much less frequently arranged. The process takes two hours at least.
When breakfast is over, the husband starts for his place of business,
and the little wife is in waiting to send him off with her sweetest
smile and her lowest bow, after having seen that his foot-gear--whether
sandal, clog, or shoe--is at the door ready for him to put on, his
umbrella, book, or bundle at hand, and his _kuruma_ waiting for him.
Certainly a Japanese man is lucky in having all the little things in his
life attended to by his thoughtful wife,--a good, considerate, careful
body-servant, always on hand to bear for him the trifling worries and
cares. There is no wonder that there are no bachelors in Japan. To some
degree, I am sure, the men appreciate these attentions; for they often
become much in love with their sweet, helpful wives, though they do not
share with them the greater things of life, the ambitions and the hopes
of men.
The husband started on his daily rounds, the wife settles down to the
work of the house. Her sphere is within her home, and though, unlike
other Asiatic women, she goes without restraint alone through the
streets, she does not concern herself with the great world, nor is she
occupied with such a round of social duties as fill the lives of society
women in this country. Yet she is not barred out from all intercourse
with the outer world, for there are sometimes great dinner parties,
given perhaps at home, when she must appear as hostess, side by side
with her husband, and share with him the duty of entertaining the
guests. There are, besides, smaller gatherings of friends of her
husband, when she must see that the proper refreshments are served, if
they be only the omnipresent tea and cake. She may, perhaps, join in the
number and listen to the conversation; but if there are no ladies, she
will probably not appear, except to attend to the wants of her guests.
There are also lady visitors--friends and relatives--who come to make
calls, oftentimes from a distance, and nearly always unexpectedly,
whose entertainment devolves on the wife. Owing to the great distances
in many of the cities, and the difficulties that used to attend going
from place to place, it has become a custom not to make frequent visits,
but long ones at long intervals. A guest often stays several hours,
remaining to lunch or dinner, as the case may be, and, should the
distance be great, may spend the night. So rigid are the requirements of
Japanese hospitality that no guest is ever allowed to leave a house
without having been pressed to partake of food, if it be only tea and
cake. Even tradesmen or messengers who come to the house must be offered
tea, and if carpenters, gardeners, or workmen of any kind are employed
about the house, tea must be served in the middle of the afternoon with
a light lunch, and tea sent out to them often during their day's work.
If a guest arrives in _jinrikisha_, not only the guest, but the
_jinrikisha_ men must be supplied with refreshments. All these things
involve much thought and care on the part of the lady of the house.
In the homes of rich and influential men of wide acquaintance, there is
a great deal going on to make a pleasant variety for the ladies of the
household, even although the variety involves extra work and
responsibility. The mistress of such a household sees and hears a great
deal of life; and her position requires no little wisdom and tact, even
where the housewife has the assistance of good servants, capable, as
many are, of sharing not only the work, but the responsibility as well.
Clever wives in such homes see and learn much, in an indirect way, of
the outside world in which the men live; and may become, if they possess
the natural capabilities for the work, wise advisers and sympathizers
with their husbands in many things far beyond their ordinary field of
action. An intelligent woman, with a strong will, has often been, unseen
and unknown, a mighty influence in Japan. That her power for good or
bad, outside of her influence as wife and mother, is a recognized fact,
is seen in the circumstance that in novels and plays women are
frequently brought in as factors in political plots and organized
rebellions, as well as in acts of private revenge.
Still the life of the average woman is a quiet one, with little to
interrupt the monotony of her days with their never-ending round of
duties; and to the most secluded homes only an occasional guest comes to
enliven the dull hours. The principal occupation of the wife, outside of
her housekeeping and the little duties of personal service to husband
and parents, is needle-work. Every Japanese woman (excepting those of
the highest rank) knows how to sew, and makes not only her own garments
and those of her children, but her husband's as well. Sewing is one of
the essentials in the education of a Japanese girl, and from childhood
the cutting and putting together of crêpe, silk, and cotton is a
familiar occupation to her. Though Japanese garments seem very simple,
custom requires that each stitch and seam be placed in just such a way;
and this way is something of a task to learn. To the uninitiated
foreigner, the general effect of the loosely worn _kimono_ is the same,
whether the garment be well or ill made; but the skillful seamstress can
easily discover that this seam is not turned just as it should be, or
that those stitches are too long or too short, or carelessly or unevenly
set.
Fancy work[17] or embroidery is not done in the house, the gorgeous
embroidered Japanese robes being the product of professional workmen.
Instead of the endless fancy work with silks, crewels, or worsteds, over
which so many American ladies spend their leisure hours, many of the
Japanese ladies, even of the highest rank, devote much time to the
cultivation of the silkworm. In country homes, and in the great cities
as well, wherever spacious grounds afford room for the growth of
mulberry trees, silkworms are raised and watched with care; an
employment giving much pleasure to those engaged in it.
[17] The one exception to this statement, so far as I know, is the
species of silk mosaic made by the ladies in the _daimi[=o]s'_ houses.
(See chap. vii.)
It is difficult for any one who has not experimented in this direction
to realize how tender these little spinners are. If a strong breeze blow
upon them, they are likely to suffer for it, and the least change in the
atmosphere must be guarded against. For forty days they must be
carefully watched, and the great, shallow, bamboo basket trays
containing them changed almost daily. New leaves for their food must be
given frequently, and as the least dampness might be fatal, each leaf,
in case of rainy weather, is carefully wiped. Then, too, the different
ages of the worms must be considered in preparing their food; as, for
the young worms, the leaves should be cut up, while for the older ones
it is better to serve them whole. When, finally, the buzzing noise of
the crunching leaves has ceased, and the last worm has put himself to
sleep in his precious white cocoon, the work of the ladies is ended; for
the cocoons are sent to women especially skilled in the work, by them to
be spun off, and the thread afterwards woven into the desired fabric.
When at last the silk, woven and dyed, is returned to the ladies by
whose care the worms were nourished until their work was done, it is
shown with great pride as the product of the year's labor, and if given
as a present will be highly prized by the recipient.
Among the daily tasks of the housewife, one, and by no means the least
of her duties, is to receive, duly acknowledge, and return in suitable
manner, the presents received in the family. Presents are not confined
to special seasons, although upon certain occasions etiquette is rigid
in its requirements in this matter, but they may be given and received
at all times, for the Japanese are preëminently a present-giving nation.
For every present received, sooner or later, a proper return must be
sent, appropriate to the season and to the rank of the receiver, and
neatly arranged in the manner that etiquette prescribes. Presents are
not necessarily elaborate; callers bring fruit of the season, cake, or
any delicacy, and a visit to a sick person must be accompanied by
something appropriate. Children visiting in the family are always given
toys, and for this purpose a stock is kept on hand. The present-giving
culminates at the close of the year, when all friends and acquaintances
exchange gifts of more or less value, according to their feelings and
means. Should there be any one who has been especially kind, and to whom
return should be made, this is the time to do so.
Tradesmen send presents to their patrons, scholars to teachers, patients
to their physicians, and, in short, it is the time when all obligations
and debts are paid off, in one way or another. On the seventh day of
the seventh month, there is another general interchange of presents,
although not so universal as at the New Year. It can easily be imagined
that all this present-giving entails much care, especially in families
of influence; and it must be attended to personally by the wife, who, in
the secret recesses of her storeroom, skillfully manages to rearrange
the gifts received, so that those not needed in the house may be sent,
not back to their givers, but to some place where a present is due. The
passing-on of the presents is an economy not of course acknowledged, but
frequently practiced even in the best families, as it saves much of the
otherwise ruinous expense of this custom.
As time passes by, occasional visits are paid by the young wife to her
own parents or to other relatives. At stated times, too, she, and others
of the family, will visit the tombs of her husband's ancestors, or of
her own parents, if they are no longer living, to make offerings and
prayers at the graves, to place fresh branches of the _sakaki_[18]
before the tombs, and to see that the priests in charge of the cemetery
have attended to all the little things which the Japanese believe to be
required by the spirits of the dead. Even these visits are often looked
forward to as enlivening the monotony of the humdrum home life.
Sometimes all the members of the family go together on a pleasure
excursion, spending the day out of doors, in beautiful gardens, when
some one of the much-loved flowers of the nation is in its glory; and
the little wife may join in this pleasure with the rest, but more often
she is the one who remains at home to keep the house in the absence of
others. The theatre, too, a source of great amusement to Japanese
ladies, is often a pleasure reserved for a time later in life.
[18] _Sakaki_, the _Cleyera Japonica_, a sacred plant emblematic of
purity, and much used at funerals and in the decoration of graves.
The Japanese mother takes great delight and comfort in her children, and
her constant thought and care is the right direction of their habits and
manners. She seems to govern them entirely by gentle admonition, and the
severest chiding that is given them is always in a pleasant voice, and
accompanied by a smiling face. No matter how many servants there may be,
the mother's influence is always direct and personal. No thick walls
and long passageways separate the nursery from the grown people's
apartments, but the thin paper partitions make it possible for the
mother to know always what her children are doing, and whether they are
good and gentle with their nurses, or irritable and passionate. The
children never leave the house, nor return to it, without going to their
mother's room, and there making the little bows and repeating the
customary phrases used upon such occasions. In the same way, when the
mother goes out, all the servants and the children escort her to the
door; and when her attendant shouts "_O kaeri_," which is the signal of
her return, children and servants hasten to the gate to greet her, and
do what they can to help her from her conveyance and make her
home-coming pleasant and restful.
The father has little to do with the training of his children, which is
left almost entirely to the mother, and, except for the interference of
the mother-in-law, she has her own way in their training, until they are
long past childhood. The children are taught to look to the father as
the head, and to respect and obey him as the one to whom all must defer;
but the mother comes next, almost as high in their estimation, and, if
not so much feared and respected, certainly enjoys a larger share of
their love.
The Japanese mother's life is one of perfect devotion to her children;
she is their willing slave. Her days are spent in caring for them, her
evenings in watching over them; and she spares neither time nor trouble
in doing anything for their comfort and pleasure. In sickness,[19] in
health, day and night, the little ones are her one thought; and from the
home of the noble to the humble cot of the peasant, this tender
mother-love may be seen in all its different phases. The Japanese woman
has so few on whom to lavish her affection, so little to live for beside
her children, and no hopes in the future except through them, that it is
no wonder that she devotes her life to their care and service, deeming
the drudgery that custom requires of her for them the easiest of all her
duties. Even with plenty of servants, the mother performs for her
children nearly all the duties often delegated to nurses in this
country. Mother and babe are rarely separated, night or day, during the
first few years of the baby's life, and the mother denies herself any
entertainment or journey from home when the baby cannot accompany her.
To give the husband any share in the baby-work would be an unheard-of
thing, and a disgrace to the wife; for in public and in private the baby
is the mother's sole charge, and the husband is never asked to sit up
all night with a sick baby, or to mind it in any way at all. Nothing in
all one's study of Japanese life seems more beautiful and admirable than
the influence of the mother over her children,--an influence that is
gentle and all-pervading, bringing out all that is sweetest and noblest
in the feminine character, and affording the one almost unlimited
opportunity of a Japanese woman's life. The lot of a childless wife in
Japan is a sad one. Not only is she denied the hopes and the pleasures
of a mother in her children, but she is an object of pity to her
friends, and well does she know that Confucius has laid down the law
that a man is justified in divorcing a childless wife. All feel that
through her, innocent though she is, the line has ceased; that her duty
is unfulfilled; and that, though the name be given to adopted sons,
there is no heir of the blood. A man rarely sends away his wife solely
with this excuse, but children are the strongest of the ties which bind
together husband and wife, and the childless wife is far less sure of
pleasing her husband. In many cases she tries to make good her
deficiencies by her care of adopted children; in them she often finds
the love which fills the void in her heart and home, and she receives
from them in after-life the respect and care which is the crown of old
age.
[19] Since the introduction of the foreign system of medicine and
nursing, the Japanese realize so acutely the lack of conveniences and
appliances for nursing the sick in their own homes, that cases of severe
or even serious illness are usually sent to hospitals, where the
invalids can have the comforts that even the wealthy Japanese homes
cannot furnish.
We have hitherto spoken of married life when the wife is received into
her husband's home. Another interesting side of Japanese marriage is
when a man enters the wife's family, taking her name and becoming
entirely one of her family, as usually the wife becomes of the
husband's. When there are daughters but no sons in a family to inherit
the name, one of three things may happen: a son may be adopted early in
life and grow up as heir; or he may be adopted with the idea of marrying
one of the daughters; or, again, no one may have been formally adopted,
but on the eldest daughter's coming to a marriageable age, her family
and friends seek for her a _y[=o]shi_, that is to say, some man (usually a
younger son) who is willing and able to give up his family name, and, by
marrying the daughter, become a member of her family and heir to the
name. He cuts off all ties from his own family, and becomes a member of
hers, and the young couple are expected to live with her parents. In
this case the tables are turned, and it is he who has to dread the
mother-in-law; it is his turn to have to please his new relatives and to
do all he can to be agreeable. He, too, may be sent away and divorced by
the all-powerful parents, if he does not please; and such divorces are
not uncommon. Of course, in such marriages, the woman has the greater
power, and the man has to remember what he owes her; and though the
woman yields to him obediently in all respects, it is an obedience not
demanded by the husband, as under other circumstances. In such marriages
the children belong to the family whose name they bear, so that in case
of divorce they remain in the wife's family, unless some special
arrangement is made about them.
It may be wondered why young men ever care to enter a family as
_y[=o]shi_. There is only one answer,--it is the attraction of wealth
and rank, very rarely that of the daughter herself. In the houses of
rich _daimi[=o]s_ without sons, _y[=o]shi_ are very common, and there
are many younger sons of the nobility, themselves of high birth, but
without prospects, who are glad enough to become great lords. In feudal
times, the number of _samurai_ families was limited. Several sons of one
family could not establish different _samurai_ families, but all but the
eldest son, if they formed separate houses, must enroll themselves among
the ranks of the common people. Hence the younger sons were often
adopted into other _samurai_ families as _y[=o]shi_, where it was
desired to secure a succession to a name that must otherwise die out.
Since the Restoration, and the breaking down of the old class
distinctions, young men care more for independence than for their rank
as _samurai_; and it is now quite difficult to find _y[=o]shi_ to enter
_samurai_ families, unless it be because of the attractiveness and
beauty of the young lady herself. Many a young girl who could easily
make a good marriage with some suitable husband, could she enter his
family, is now obliged to take some inferior man as _y[=o]shi_, because
few men in these days are willing to change their names, give up their
independence, and take upon themselves the support of aged
parents-in-law; for this also is expected of the _y[=o]shi_, unless the
family that he enters is a wealthy one.
From this custom of _y[=o]shi_, and its effect upon the wife's position,
we see that, in certain cases, Japanese women are treated as equal with
men. It is not because of their sex that they are looked down upon and
held in subjection, but it is because of their almost universal
dependence of position. The men have the right of inheritance, the
education, habits of self-reliance, and are the bread-winners. Wherever
the tables are turned, and the men are dependents of the women, and
even where the women are independent of the men,--there we find the
relations of men to women vastly changed. The women of Japan must know
how to do some definite work in the world beyond the work of the home,
so that their position will not be one of entire dependence upon father,
husband, or son. If fathers divided their estates between sons and
daughters alike, and women were given, before the law, right to hold
property in their own names, much would be accomplished towards securing
them in their positions as wives and mothers; and divorce, the great
evil of Japanese home life to-day, would become simply a last resort to
preserve the purity of the home, as it is in most civilized countries
now.
The difference between the women of the lower and those of the higher
classes, in the matter of equality with their husbands, is quite
noticeable. The wife of the peasant or merchant is much nearer to her
husband's level than is the wife of the Emperor. Apparently, each step
in the social scale is a little higher for the man than it is for the
woman, and lifts him a little farther above his wife. The peasant and
his wife work side by side in the field, put their shoulders to the same
wheel, eat together in the same room, at the same time, and whichever of
them happens to be the stronger in character governs the house, without
regard to sex. There is no great gulf fixed between them, and there is
frequently a consideration for the wife shown by husbands of the lower
class, that is not unlike what we see in our own country. I remember the
case of a _jinrikisha_ man employed by a friend of mine in T[=o]ky[=o],
who was much laughed at by his friends because he actually used to spend
some of his leisure moments in drawing the water required for his
household from a well some distance away, and carrying the heavy buckets
to the house, in order to save the strength of his little, delicate
wife. That cases of such devotion are rare is no doubt true, but that
they occur shows that there is here and there a recognition of the
claims that feminine weakness has upon masculine strength.
A frequent sight in the morning, in T[=o]ky[=o], is a cart heavily laden
with wood, charcoal, or some other country produce, creaking slowly
along the streets, propelled by a farmer and his family. Sometimes one
will see an old man, his son, and his son's wife with a baby on her
back, all pushing or pulling with might and main; the woman with
tucked-up skirts and tight-fitting blue trousers, a blue towel
enveloping her head,--only to be distinguished from the men by her
smaller size and the baby tied to her back. But when evening comes, and
the load of produce has been disposed of, the woman and baby are seen
seated upon the cart, while the two men pull it back to their home in
some neighboring village. Here, again, is the recognition of the law
that governs the position of woman in this country,--the theory, not of
inferior position, but of inferior strength; and the sight of the women
riding back in the empty carts at night, drawn by their husbands, is the
thing that strikes a student of Japanese domestic life as nearest to the
customs of our own civilization in regard to the relations of husbands
and wives.
Throughout the country districts, where the women have a large share in
the labor that is directly productive of wealth, where they not only
work in the rice fields, pick the tea crops, gather the harvests, and
help draw them to market, but where they have their own productive
industries, such as caring for the silkworms, and spinning, and weaving
both silk and cotton, we find the conventional distance between the
sexes much diminished by the important character of feminine labor; but
in the cities, and among the classes who are largely either indirect
producers or non-producers, the only labor of the women is that personal
service which we account as menial. It is for this reason, perhaps, that
the gap widens as we go upward in society, and between the same social
levels as we go cityward.
The wife of the countryman, though she may work harder and grow old
earlier, is more free and independent than her city sister; and the wife
of the peasant, pushing her produce to market, is in some ways happier
and more considered than the wife of the noble, who must spend her life
among her ladies-in-waiting, in the seclusion of her great house with
its beautiful garden, the plaything of her husband in his leisure hours,
but never his equal, or the sharer of his cares or of his thoughts.
One of the causes which must be mentioned as contributing to the
lowering of the wife's position, among the higher and more wealthy
classes, lies in the system of concubinage which custom allows, and the
law until quite recently has not discouraged. From the Emperor, who was,
by the old Chinese code of morals, allowed twelve supplementary wives,
to the _samurai_, who are permitted two, the men of the higher classes
are allowed to introduce into their families these _mékaké_, who, while
beneath the wife in position, are frequently more beloved by the husband
than the wife herself. It must be said, however, to the credit of many
husbands, that in spite of this privilege, which custom allows, there
are many men of the old school who are faithful to one wife, and never
introduce this discordant element into the household. Even should he
keep _mékaké_, it is often unknown to the wife, and she is placed in a
separate establishment of her own. And in spite of the code of morals
requiring submission in any case on the part of the woman, there are
many wives of the _samurai_ and lower classes who have enough spirit and
wit to prevent their husbands from ever introducing a rival under the
same roof. In this way the practice is made better than the theory.
Not so with the more helpless wife of the nobleman, for wealth and
leisure make temptation greater for the husband. She submits
unquestioningly to the custom requiring that the wife treat these women
with all civility. Their children she may even have to adopt as her own.
The lot of the _mékaké_ herself is rendered the less endurable, from the
American point of view, by the fact that, should the father of her child
decide to make it his heir, the mother is thenceforth no more to it than
any other of the servants of the household. For instance, suppose a
hitherto childless noble is presented with a son by one of his
concubines, and he decides by legal adoption to make that son his heir:
the child at its birth, or as soon afterwards as is practicable, is
taken from its mother and placed in other hands, and the mother never
sees her own child until, on the thirtieth day after its birth, she goes
with the other servants of the household to pay her respects to her
young master. If it were not for the habit of abject obedience to
parents which Japanese custom has exalted into the one feminine virtue,
few women could be found of respectable families who would take a
position so devoid of either honor or satisfaction of any kind as that
of _mékaké_. That these positions are not sought after must be said, to
the honor of Japanese womanhood. A nobleman may obtain _samurai_ women
for his "_O mékaké_" (literally, honorable concubines), but they are
never respected by their own class for taking such positions. In the
same way the _mékaké_ of _samurai_ are usually from the _héimin_. No
woman who has any chance of a better lot will ever take the unenviable
position of _mékaké_.
A law which has recently been promulgated strikes at the root of this
evil, and, if enforced, will in course of time go far toward extirpating
it. Henceforth in Japan, no child of a concubine, or of adoption from
any source, can inherit a noble title. The heir to the throne must
hereafter be the son, not only of the Emperor, but of the Empress, or
the succession passes to some collateral branch of the family. This law
does not apply to Prince Haru, the present heir to the throne, as,
although he is not the son of the Empress, he was legally adopted
before the promulgation of the law; but should he die, it will apply to
all future heirs.
That public opinion is moving in the right direction is shown by the
fact that the young men of the higher classes do not care to marry the
daughters of _mékaké_, be they ever so legally adopted by their own
fathers. When the girls born of such unions become a drug in the
matrimonial market, and the boys are unable to keep up the succession,
the _mékaké_ will go out of fashion, and the real wife will once more
assume her proper importance.[20]
[20] It is worth while to mention in this connection the noteworthy
efforts made by the Woman's Christian Temperance Union of Japan in
calling the attention of the public to this custom, and in arousing
public sentiment in favor of legislation against not only this system,
but against the licensed houses of prostitution. Though there has not
yet been any practical result, much discussion has ensued in the
newspapers and magazines, lectures have been given, and much strong
feeling aroused, which may, before long, produce radical change.
Upon the 11th day of February, 1889, the day on which the Emperor, by
his own act in giving a constitution to the people, limited his own
power for the sake of putting his nation upon a level with the most
civilized nations of the earth, he at the same time, and for the first
time, publicly placed his wife upon his own level. In an imperial
progress made through the streets of T[=o]ky[=o], the Emperor and
Empress, for the first time in the history of Japan, rode together in
the imperial coach.[*115] Until then, the Emperor, attended by his chief
gentlemen-in-waiting and his guards, had always headed the procession,
while the Empress must follow at a distance with her own attendants.
That this act on the part of the Emperor signifies the beginning of a
new and better era for the women of Japan, we cannot but hope; for until
the position of the wife and mother in Japan is improved and made
secure, little permanence can be expected in the progress of the nation
toward what is best and highest in the Western civilization. Better
laws, broader education for the women, a change in public opinion on the
subject, caused by the study, by the men educated abroad, of the homes
of Europe and America,--these are the forces which alone can bring the
women of Japan up to that place in the home which their intellectual and
moral qualities fit them to fill. That Japan is infinitely ahead of
other Oriental countries in her practices in this matter is greatly to
her credit; but that she is far behind the civilized nations of Europe
and America, not only in practice but in theory, is a fact that is
incontestable, and a fact that, unless changed, must sooner or later be
a stumbling-block in the path of her progress toward the highest
civilization of which she is capable.[21] The European practice cannot
be grafted upon the Asiatic theory, but the change in the home must be a
radical one, to secure permanent good results. As long as the wife has
no rights which the husband is bound to respect, no great advance can
be made, for human nature is too mean and selfish to give in all cases
to those who are entirely unprotected by law, and entirely unable to
protect themselves, those things which the moral nature declares to be
their due. In the old slave times in the South, many of the negroes were
better fed, better cared for, and happier than they are to-day; but they
were nevertheless at the mercy of men who too often thought only of
themselves, and not of the human bodies and souls over which they had
unlimited power. It was a condition of things that could not be
prevented by educating the masters so as to induce them to be kind to
their slaves; it was a condition that was wrong in theory, and so could
not be righted in practice. In the same way the position of the Japanese
wife is wrong in theory, and can never be righted until legislation has
given to her rights which it still denies. Education will but aggravate
the trouble to a point beyond endurance. The giving to the wife power to
obtain a divorce will not help much, but simply tend to weaken still
further the marriage tie. Nothing can help surely and permanently but
the growth of a sound public opinion, in regard to the position of the
wife, that will, sooner or later, have its effect upon the laws of the
country. Legislation once effected, all the rest will come, and the
wife, secure in her home and her children, will be at the point where
her new education can be of use to her in the administration of her
domestic affairs and the training of her children; and where she will
finally become the friend and companion of her husband, instead of his
mere waitress, seamstress, and housekeeper,--the plaything of his
leisure moments, too often the victim of his caprices.
[21] Many of the thinking men of Japan, though fully recognizing the
injustice of the present position of woman in society, and the necessity
of reform in the marriage and divorce laws, refuse to see the importance
of any movement to change them. Their excuse is, that such power in the
hands of the husband over his wife might be abused, but that in fact it
is not. Wrongs and injustice are rare, they argue, and kind treatment,
affection, and even respect for the wife is the general rule; and that
the keeping of the power in the hands of the husband is better than
giving too much freedom to women who are without education. These men
wish to wait until every woman is educated, before acting in a reform
movement, while many conservatives oppose the new system of education
for girls as making them unwomanly. Between these two parties, the few
who really wish for a change are utterly unable to act.