"He said you were his enemy, and my enemy." And he knew this was wrong.
He was warning her, bringing the moment of his dismissal closer by
seven days.
And then he understood _why_ he was doing this. He didn't want seven
days in which to consider killing Mercy Adrians. He was afraid of all
that time. He was afraid he would learn that this job meant more to him
than a young girl's life. "He said you wanted me turned in. He said
that if he didn't turn me in, you would."
Her head came up, slowly, until she was looking at her typewriter. She
began to type. He said, "Stop that and answer me."
She continued typing. Mr. Tzadi came up behind them, and passed them.
He said, "Hello, Mercy, Der." Neither answered him. He stopped and
looked at them. Mercy kept typing. He said, "I see you've made a
serious error, Der." He said it softly, sadly.
He continued on up the hall. Derrence watched him. Tzadi said hello to
everyone he passed. He called them by name. They called him by name. He
knew everyone and everyone knew him.
The confusion was stronger, and so was the strange new fear. Everyone
was a spy! Everyone on the 36th floor was in with Tzadi! And yet, Tzadi
wanted him to stay on. It was Mercy, and the others, who wanted him
fired. Yet how could everyone else....
He trembled. He backed from Mercy, staring at her. She kept typing. He
turned and entered his office. He closed the door, and wished he could
lock it. He heard himself saying, "Dear God, dear God, dear God." He
sat behind his desk. Then he got up and went to the window. He looked
down to the busy street far below. Cars and people; millions of them.
Life, going on normally, as it always had. Why then this feeling of
being alone? Why then this growing horror of total isolation?
"_Except for one_," Tzadi had said to the waiter, and the waiter's face
had grown sad and he had moved away. As sad as Tzadi's face when he'd
looked at Derrence in the hall a few minutes ago.
_And the one was an animal. And man was an animal. And he was a man._
* * * * *
He shook his head and put his trembling hands together and said, "What
is this? You're going to lose your job, granted. Is that any reason
to lose your mind too? Tzadi and that waiter are religious nuts. They
have a symbolism and language all their own. Besides...." Here he
laughed, because the fear was coming out into the open, and as soon
as it did it was revealed as ridiculous. "Besides, how can you be the
last man on earth if Tzadi and all the others are here, right here in
Chester Chemical? And the waiter and all the millions down there in the
streets? And the other millions in the other cities and countries of
the world?"
He sat down. He used his handkerchief to wipe sweat from his face and
neck. He laughed, and it was almost his booming, confident laugh. He
lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. And then he began to tremble again.
Against all logic, all reasoning, the horror of being totally alone in
the world returned.
He got up and went to the door. He put his hand on the knob.
_No, he couldn't open it!_
He laughed. It was a cracked and shattered sound. He said, "Listen. Out
there are the typists and writers and executives. Just listen to them.
Just listen to the noise...." His voice slid upward in a strangled
scream. He heard no noise.
He looked at his watch. Two-twenty. There had to be noise!
He put his ear to the door. Nothing. Not a sound of any sort.
He backed from the door, both hands over his mouth. He bumped into his
desk. His phone rang. He listened to it. It rang and rang, the only
sound on the 36th floor. Finally, he turned and picked it up. He heard
Tzadi's voice. "Der, could you come to my office for a moment?"
He said, "What's happening?" He heard himself sobbing, and didn't care.
He said, "Am I losing my mind? What's happening?"
"No, Der, you are not losing your mind." Tzadi's voice sounded as if
he, too, were weeping. "It's just ... what I tried to tell you before."
"Yes, before. Listen, I've changed my mind. If it's the only way....
Listen, Ed, I'll do ... I'll do what you said. You know, Mercy.
I'll...."
"Too late," Tzadi murmured. "Please come to my office, Der."
"No!"
"You must be dismissed, Der."
"Dismissed," Derrence said. "I must be dismissed." He quieted. "That's
all that's going to happen, isn't it? I mean, I'm going to be fired?"
"Then you'll come to my office, Der?"