The colonel and a friend were sitting on the back porch of the house
smoking and talking. They fell to discussing the intoxicating properties
of beer. The colonel maintained that a man couldn't possibly drink
enough beer to make him drunk, but his friend was of a contrary mind.
The colonel went into his kitchen and brought out a two-gallon tin
bucket, and said, "See this bucket? Well, I have a German sawing wood
down in my barn at the end of the lot. I'll bet you ten dollars that he
can drink all the beer that bucket will hold at one sitting, and not be
the worse for it." The bet was taken, and the colonel called the man
from his work, and said, "Diedrich, you see that bucket? If I were to
fill that bucket with beer, do you think you could drink it all at one
sitting?"
The German smiled broadly, and said he guessed he could--he could try.
"But I want you to be certain," said the colonel. "Vell," said Diedrich,
"I guess I could, but maybe I couldn't." With this he was dismissed and
the subject was dropped.
At the end of a half hour, Diedrich appeared on the scene and said that
if that bucket was filled with beer he could drink it all without
stopping. He was certain he could. Accordingly he was sent with the
bucket to a neighboring brewery and promptly returned with the vessel
full to the brim. He placed it on a table, drew up a chair, tilted the
bucket and set to work. In a very short time he had finished, arose,
thanked the colonel and was making for the wood-pile.
"Hold on," called the colonel, "I want to ask you a question. When I
called you up the first time you were uncertain whether you could drink
that bucket of beer or not, and then after a while you came back and
said you were certain you could. How do you explain that?"
Diedrich drew the back of his hand across his mouth, and said, "Vy,
colonel, dot is easy to explain. Der first time ven you ask me, I did
not know for sure. So ven I vent away, I vent over to der brewery undt
got me a bucket about so big as yours undt tried if I could--undt I
found I could, I could; undt so I coom back here sure, sure dat I could
drink your bucket full mit beer. See?"