"The old teacher in one of the smaller schools near my native town of
Peekskill," said Senator Depew, "had drilled a number of his brightest
scholars in the history of contemporary politics, and to test their
faith and their knowledge he called upon three of them one day and
demanded a declaration of personal political principles.
"You are a Republican, Tom, are you not?" inquired he of the first.
"Yes, sir," was the answer. "And, Bill, you are a Prohibitionist, I
believe?" "Yes, sir," said Bill. "And, Jim, you are a Democrat?" "Yes,
sir," said Jim.
"Well, now," continued the teacher, "the one of you that gives the best
reason why he belongs to his party can have this live woodchuck which I
caught on my way to school this morning."
"I am a Republican," said the first boy, "because the Republican party
saved the country in the war and abolished slavery."
"And I am a Prohibitionist," rattled off the second youth, "because rum
is our country's greatest enemy, and the cause of our over-crowded
prisons and poorhouses."
"Very excellent reasons, boys, very excellent reasons," observed the
teacher encouragingly. "And, now, Jim, why are you a Democrat?"
"Well, sir," was the slow reply, "I am a Democrat because I want that
woodchuck!"