“And so you really forgive me, Edith!” said I, bending over the lady of
my love, as she sate creating worsted roses in a parterre of gossamer
canvass; “you are not angry at what happened the other day at that
unlucky encounter on the sands?”
“Have I not said already that I forgive you?” replied Edith. “Is it
necessary that I should assure you twice?”
“Charming Miss Bogle! you do not know how happy you have made me.”
“Pray, don’t lean over me so, or you’ll make me spoil my work. See--I
have absolutely put something like a caterpillar in the heart of this
rosebud!”
“Never, dearest lady, may any caterpillar prey upon the rosebud of your
happiness. How curious! Do you know, the outline of that sketch reminds
me forcibly of the countenance of Roper?”
“Mr M’Whirter!”
“Nay, I was merely jesting. Pray, Miss Bogle, what are your favourite
colours?”
“Peach blossom and scarlet; but why do you ask?”
“Do not press me for an explanation--it will come early enough. And
now, Edith, I must bid you adieu.”
“So soon? Cannot you spare a single hour from your military duties?
Bless me, how pale you are looking! Are you sure you are quite well?”
“Quite--that is to say a little shaken in the nerves or so. This
continued exertion”----
“Do you mean at mess? Mr Roper told me sad stories about your
proceedings two nights ago.”
“Oh, pooh-nonsense! You will certainly then appear at the races?”
“You may depend upon me.”
And so I took my leave.
The reader will gather from this conversation, which took place four
days after the events detailed in last chapter, that I had effectually
made my peace with Miss Bogle. For this arrangement Mary Muggerland
took much more credit than I thought she was entitled to; however,
it is of no use quarrelling with the well disposed, especially if
they are females, as, in that case, you are sure to have the worst
of it in the long run. I did not feel quite easy, however, regarding
the insinuations thrown out upon my unusually pallid appearance. The
fact is, that the last week had rather been a fast one. The mess was
remarkably pleasant, and all would have been quite right had we stopped
there. But I had unfortunately yielded to the fascinations of Archy
Chaffinch and some of the younger hands, who, being upon the loose,
resolved to make the very most of it, and the consequence was, that, to
the great scandal of Nelly, we kept highly untimeous hours. In fact,
one night I made a slight mistake, which I have not yet, and may never
hear, the last of, by walking, quite accidentally, into the house of
my next-door neighbour--a grave and reverend signior--instead of my
own, and abusing him like a pickpocket for his uncalled-for presence
within the shade of my patrimonial lobby. It therefore followed, that
sometimes of a morning, after mounting Masaniello, I had a strong
suspicion that a hive of bees had taken a fancy to settle upon my
helmet--a compliment which might have been highly satisfactory to the
infant Virgil, but was by no means suited to the nerves or taste of an
adult Writer to the Signet.
Roper had been my guest at one of the late messes. His speech in
returning thanks for the health of his regiment was one of the richest
specimens of oratory I ever had the good fortune to hear, and ought to
be embalmed for the benefit of an aspiring posterity. It ran somewhat
thus----
“I assure you, sir, that the honour you have just conferred upon ours,
is--yas--amply appweciated, I assure you, sir, by the wegular army.
It gives us, sir--yas--the hiwest gwatification to be pwesent at the
mess of such a loyal body as the South-Lothian Yeomanry Cavalry.
The distinguished services of that gallant corps, both at home and
abwoad, are such as--yas--to demand the admiwation of their country,
and--yas--in short, I feel compwetely overpowared. The bwoad banners of
Bwitain floating over land and sea--chalk cliffs of old Albion, if I
may be allowed the simile--wight hand of the service and left--wegulars
and yeomanry--and the three corners of the world may come at once in
arms, and be considewably shocked for their pains. Permit me again to
expwess my extweme thanks for the honour you have done to ours.”
Now, on that evening, as I can conscientiously vouch, Roper contrived
to deposit at least two bottles of claret beneath his belt. Any
revelations, therefore, of what took place at our hospitable board,
amounted to a gross breach of confidence, and were quite unpardonable;
more especially when our relative situations with regard to the
affections of Miss Bogle are considered. But Punic faith is the very
least that one can expect from a rival.
On the review day, the whole regiment turned out under auspices of
unusual smartness. We were to be inspected by a veteran officer of high
rank and reputation, and, under these circumstances, we all thought
ourselves bound in honour to support the credit of the corps. This was
not remarkably difficult. You will hardly see anywhere a finer-looking
set of fellows than the Mid-Lothian yeomanry, and our discipline,
considering the short period of exercise, was really praiseworthy.
In the words of our commanding-officer, he was justly proud of his
recruits, and I can answer for it, that the recruits most cordially
reciprocated the sentiment.
“Now, Anthony,” said Pounset, as we formed into line, “I shall really
be obliged to you to make less clatter with that scabbard of yours when
we charge. My mare is mad enough with the music, without having the
additional impetus of supposing that a score of empty kettles are tied
to her tail.”
“By Jove, that’s a good one!” replied Anthony. “Here have you been
bunging up my eyes and making attempts upon my ribs for the last week,
and yet you expect me to have no other earthly consideration beyond
your personal comfort! How the deuce am I to manage my scabbard when
both hands are occupied?”
“Can’t you follow the example of Prince Charles, and throw it away?”
“Thank you for nothing. But, I say, that sort of madness seems
contagious. Here’s M’Whirter’s horse performing a fandango, which is
far more curious than agreeable.”
“What’s the matter with Masaniello?” cried Archy Chaffinch; “he looks
seriously inclined to bolt.”
I had awful suspicions of the same nature. No sooner had the regimental
band struck up, than my charger began to evince disagreeable signs of
impatience; he pawed, pranced, snorted, curveted, and was utterly deaf
to the blandishments with which I strove to allay his irritability.
I was even thankful when we were put into motion preparatory to the
charge, in the belief that action might render him less restive; and
so it did for a time. But no sooner had we broke into a gallop, than I
felt it was all up with me. I might as well have been without a bridle.
The ungovernable brute laid back his ears like a tiger, and I shot past
Randolph in an instant, very nearly upsetting that judicious warrior in
my course.
Nor was I alone. Pounset’s mare, who never brooked a rival, and who,
moreover, had taken umbrage at the sonorous jolting of Anthony, was
resolved not to be outstripped; and, taking the bridle between her
teeth, came hard and heavy on my flank. The cry of “halt!” sounded
far and faint behind us. We dashed past a carriage, in which, from a
momentary glimpse, I recognised the form of Edith; while a dragoon
officer--I knew intuitively it was Roper--had drawn up his horse by the
side. They were laughing--yes! by heavens they were laughing--at the
moment I was borne away headlong, and perhaps to destruction. My sword
flew out of my hand--I had need of both to hold the reins. I shouted to
Pounset to draw in, but an oath was the only reply!
I heard the blast of the recall bugle behind us, but Masaniello only
stretched out more wildly. We splashed through the shallow pools of
water, sending up the spray behind us; and onwards--onwards we went
towards Joppa, with more than the velocity of the wind.
“Have a care, M’Whirter!” shouted Pounset. “Turn his head to the sea if
you can. There’s a quicksand right before you!”
I could as easily have converted a Mussulman. I saw before me a dark
streak, as if some foul brook were stagnating on the sands. There
was a dash, a splash, a shock, and I was catapulted over the ears of
Masaniello.
I must have lost consciousness, I believe, for the next thing I
remember was Pounset standing over me, and holding my quadruped by the
bridle.
“We may thank our stars it is no worse,” said he; “that stank fairly
took the shine out of your brute, and brought him to a stand-still. Are
you hurt?”
“Not much. But I say, what a figure I am!”
“Not altogether adapted for an evening party, I admit. But never mind.
There’s a cure for every thing except broken bones. Let’s get back
again as fast as we can, for the captain will be in a beautiful rage!”
We returned. A general acclamation burst from the squadron as we rode
up, but the commanding-officer looked severe as Draco.
“Am I to conclude, gentlemen,” said he, “that this exhibition was a
trial of the comparative merits of your horses preparatory to the
racing? Upon such an occasion as this I must say”----
“Just look at M’Whirter, captain,” said Pounset, “and then judge for
yourself whether it was intentional. The fact is, my mare is as hot as
ginger, and that black horse has no more mouth than a brickbat!”
“Well, after all, he _does_ seem in a precious mess. I am sure it was a
mere accident, but don’t let it happen again. Fall in, gentlemen.”
There was, however, as regarded myself, considerable opposition to this
order.
“Why, M’Whirter, you’re not going to poison us to death, are you?” said
Anthony Whaup. “Pray keep to the other side, like a good fellow--you’re
not just altogether a bouquet.”
“Do they gut the herrings down yonder, M’Whirter?” asked Archy
Chaffinch. “Excuse me for remarking that your flavour is rather full
than fragrant.”
“I wish they had allowed smoking on parade!” said a third. “It would
require a strong Havannah to temper the exhalations of our comrade.”
“Hadn’t you better go home at once?” suggested Randolph. “My horse is
beginning to cough.”
“Yes--yes!” cried half-a-dozen. “Go home at once.”
“And if you are wise,” added Hargate, “take a dip in the sea--boots,
helmet, pantaloons, and all.”
I obtained permission, and retired in a state of inconceivable disgust.
Towards the carriage where Edith was seated, I dared not go; and with
a big and throbbing heart I recollected that she had witnessed my
disgrace.
“But she shall yet see,” I mentally exclaimed, “that I am worthy of
her! Once let me cast this foul and filthy slough--let me don her
favourite colours--let me win the prize, as I am sure I ought to do,
and the treasure of her heart may be mine!--You young villain! if you
make faces at me again, I shall fetch you a cut over the costard!”
“Soor dook!” shouted the varlet. “Eh! see till the man that’s been
coupit ower in the glaur!”
I rode home as rapidly as possible. I throw a veil over the triumphant
ejaculations of Nelly at the sight of my ruined uniform, and the
personal allusions she made to the retreat and discomfiture of the
Philistines. That evening I avoided mess, and courted a sound sleep to
prepare me for the fatigues of the ensuing day.