DEAR AUNTY,--We came from New York a few days ago, and are staying with
mama's friend, Mrs. M----, who is a very (what shall I say?) fascinating
but a very peculiar person. She is a curious mixture of a poetess and a
society woman, very susceptible, and of such a sensitive nature that she
seems always to be in the hottest of hot water, and at war with all her
neighbors; but she routs all her enemies and manages everything with a
high hand.
Her daughter is just engaged to a Swedish naval officer. To celebrate the
engagement they gave a big dinner, and, as the Sanitary Fair is going on
just now, President Lincoln is here, and Mrs. M---- had the courage to
invite him, and he had the courage to accept. It is the first time that I
have ever seen an American President, and I was most anxious to see him,
particularly as he has, for the last years, been such a hero in my eyes.
He might take the prize for ugliness anywhere; his face looked as if it
was cut out of wood, and roughly cut at that, with deep furrows in his
cheeks and a huge mouth; but he seemed so good and kind, and his eyes
sparkled with so much humor and fun, that he became quite fascinating,
especially when he smiled. I confess I lost my heart to him.... The
dinner, I mean the food part of it, was a failure. It came from Baltimore,
and everything was cold; the _pâté de foie gras_ never appeared at all!
When Mrs. M---- mentioned the fact to Mr. Lincoln, pointing to the menu,
he said "the _pâté_" (he pronounced it _patty_) has probably walked off by
itself. Every one laughed, because he said it in such a comical, slow way.
After the gentlemen had smoked (I thought they were a long time at it) we
were requested to go into the gallery, where all the gas-lights were
turned up to the fullest and chairs placed in rows, and Professor Winter
began to read a lecture on the brain--of all subjects! Who but Mrs. M----
would ever have arranged such an entertainment?
Professor Winter told us where our 50,000 ideas were laid up in our brains
(I am sure that I have not 50,000 in mine). One might have deducted
49,999, and still, with that little one left, I was not able to understand
the half of what he said.
Another wonderful thing he told us was, that there are five thousand
million cells in our brain, and that it takes about ten thousand cells to
furnish a well-lodged perception. How in the world can he know that? I
think he must have examined his own ten thousand cells to have discovered
all this exuberance of material. The President looked bored, and I am sure
everybody else wished Professor Winter and his theories (because they
can't be facts) in the Red Sea.... After this _séance manquée_ I was
asked to sing. Poor Mr. Lincoln! who I understood could not endure music.
I pitied him.
"None of your foreign fireworks," said Mr. Trott, in his graceful manner,
as I passed him on my way to the piano. I answered, "Shall I sing 'Three
Little Kittens'? I think that is the least fireworky of my _répertoire_."
But I concluded that a simple little rocket like "Robin Adair" would kill
nobody; therefor I sang that, and it had a success.
When the gaunt President shook my hand to thank me, he held it in a grip
of iron, and when, to accentuate the compliment, meaning to give a little
extra pressure, he put his left hand over his right, I felt as if my hand
was shut in a waffle-iron and I should never straighten it out again.
"Music is not much in my line," said the President; "but when you sing you
warble yourself into a man's heart. I'd like to hear you sing some more."
What other mild cracker could I fire off? Then I thought of that lovely
song, "Mary Was a Lassie," which you like so much, so I sang that.
Mr. Lincoln said, "I think I might become a musician if I heard you often;
but so far I only know two tunes."
"'Hail, Columbia'?" I asked. "You know that, I am sure!"
"Oh yes, I know that, for I have to stand up and take off my hat."
"And the other one?"
"The other one! Oh, the other one is the other when I don't stand up!" I
am sorry not to have seen Mr. Lincoln again. There was something about him
that was perfectly fascinating, but I think I have said this before.