The girl in her teens, in common with all humanity, needs the upward
pull. Fresh air, suitable clothing, nourishing food, so desirable in
all stages of her development, become, we have seen, an absolute
necessity during her teens. If not supplied, her whole future is
doomed to pay the penalty; and unless during the period of the
awakening and strengthening of ideals, a steady, uplifting,
spiritualizing force has a definite influence upon the rapidly
changing and developing forces of her nature, the chances are that her
whole future will pay the price neglect always demands. The steady,
upward pull is a necessity.
There are so many things in life that furnish the downward pull. Even
the more fortunate girl, who lives in her own home and spends the
greater part of each day in the enlarging atmosphere of a good public
school, feels the downward pull. In the most carefully selected of
select schools, the girl, though guarded every moment, feels the
downward pull of the petty, selfish and mean. The girl in her teens
hard at work among the world's toilers is painfully conscious of it in
one or more of its many forms.
In the struggle between the higher and the lower--the upward and the
downward pull--humanity finds its growth and development. If there is
no struggle there is no strength. The girl in her teens does not know
all this--her teacher does, and puts forth all her effort to strengthen
the upward pull.
As we study and observe the girl in her development one question
persistently follows us. To what shall we look for this upward pull?
There are many answers: the home, the school, friends, good
environment, the church. With the last we are especially concerned.
Even the most open and avowed enemy of the church of to-day would not
hesitate to place it definitely on the side of the upward pull. Its
history, teachings and ideals, like its spires, point upward. It says
reverently and steadily to a world of busy men so much engaged in the
rush for mere things that they find it easy to forget all else, two
simple, tremendously significant words--GOD IS. It says persistently,
above the struggle for power through possessions,--"Truth,
Righteousness, Justice, Love, these alone mean happiness," and at some
time during his progress from childhood to old age man stops to
listen. The most natural and effective time to stop is during the
early teens.
Of course the church, being made up of humanity, has its weaknesses.
As an upward pulling force it is not perfect. Nothing is. Its most
loyal friends are the ones most conscious of its faults and failures.
Its members feel its weakness more keenly than the outside world
possibly can, just as the members of a family feel more deeply than
the outside world the weakness and failures of its members in any
particular.
But in spite of its errors of creed, its lack, in many cases, of
authority and initiative, and its temptation to shun real problems,
yet the members do feel the power of its upward pull, and the
community in general is conscious of it.
To place the girl in her teens where she will feel most strongly the
lifting power of the church is the business of her parents and
teachers.
In the average community the girl has been more or less in contact
with the church from her earliest years. Her estimation of its value,
its purpose and power, has been built up through the years by what she
has heard parents, companions and teachers say of it. It is a refuge
for the weak, a company of people who think themselves better than
others, a respectable moral organization through which men climb to
higher social planes, a necessary guardian of good in the community;
or, the visible expression of the religion of Jesus Christ, the
highest and most potent force in the world to-day for the conversion
and uplifting of mankind. Her opinion is in accordance with the
general opinion of those in her immediate environment.
As she approaches her teens, if her parents are not church people,
through the influence of the Sunday-school of which she is a member
she usually becomes a more or less regular attendant upon the services
of the church. If her teacher is wise she does all in her power to
establish the habit of church attendance. If the pastor has a thought
and a word for the younger members of his congregation the girl,
interested and helped, responds according to her temperament.
About the time she enters her teens, if she is a Sunday-school girl,
she has had, through Decision Day or in answer to the direct question
of her pastor or teacher, the opportunity of saying, "I choose to be a
Christian." If her teaching has been careful and wise she will know
what being a Christian should mean to a girl of thirteen, and she will
make the choice gladly and of her own free will. Before she is sixteen
she will have met the question of her direct relation to the church.
Shall she join it in its work in the world? If "joining the church" is
made the simple, sincere matter that it really is, the average girl
responds easily and earnestly. Only those who year after year have
helped girls from fourteen to sixteen decide to take the step can know
the genuine, loving, devoted spirit in which they come to their
decisions.
Through the weeks of instruction that follow the decision, when the
girl learns, under her pastor's or teacher's direction, the history of
the church, the development of her own denomination, and the
statements of its creed, the work the church has done, and is actually
doing for the poor and outcast, the rich and careless, her admiration
for it deepens, and all the love and devotion of her girl heart goes
out to Him whose wonderful life and sacrifice have inspired ordinary
men and women to live in the world as real Christians.
After such instruction, when the Sunday comes on which she is to
publicly unite with the church she _knows what she is doing_ and
_why_. She knows as fully as any one can _what she believes_, for
belief is a growth, and life and experience always modify it. The
mystery of the communion service is to her as clear as it is to any of
us, and she prays as truly and sincerely as the oldest and wisest.
How much of uplift to her whole life her act has been can be known
only to those who year after year have walked home with her after the
service, received her notes so full of joy, and watched her effort to
live aright in the weeks that follow.
So far in the relation of the church to the religious and spiritual
development of the girl the steps have been successive, natural, and
easy, but now the hard part comes.
She is on Monday, after uniting with the church, the same girl that
she was on Saturday before doing so. If she had a bad temper, she has
it still; if she was easily tempted to be insincere, selfish,
sarcastic, careless, unkind, the characteristics are with her still.
She has simply placed herself on the side of the upward pull, and
every one of us who comes in contact with her should watch the
struggle against the downward pull never with condemnation and
criticism, but always with sympathy and assistance.
Here is where the church so often fails. Having joined the church she
is ever after expected to be good. "The girl has joined the church,
all is done," is a false and fatal conclusion.
I have been watching with real interest a young girl who, after a most
happy engagement, a beautiful wedding, a delightful continental trip,
is learning to live in the prosaic every day. She had forgotten that
it is always there waiting for us. In her great uplift and happiness
little things had not made her as angry as before. But she found out
what could happen when "Harry" forgot to order the cream for the
dinner party at which all her friends were present for the first time
in her new home. After her outburst of anger she was so discouraged
that she was tempted to think the whole thing was a mistake, that she
could not have loved him, and she could never be happy again. She had
not reckoned with herself. The plain details of everyday living reveal
one to himself. He finds he cannot live in the clouds, and that the
art of living harmoniously and finely in the valley must be learned,
and it takes time.
The girl in her teens after uniting with the church and experiencing
the uplift and stimulus must come back to the every day. Like my young
friend, she so often thinks that she will "never feel angry again."
She does, and with the failure to control herself or the quick
yielding to her special temptation comes the feeling of utter
discouragement. She is not good enough to be a member of the church,
and it was a mistake. She needs help--her mother or teacher--to make her
see that even a deep love can not in a moment overcome a quick temper,
nor uniting with the church overcome the habit of the unkind word and
selfish act. It will give her comfort and courage to know that one
becomes a real Christian by successive steps, and it will take all her
life to accomplish the task.
The first thing a young member of the church needs to help her become
what we want her to be, a sane, natural, happy girl, interested in,
enjoying and loving all the things that belong to the normal girl in
her teens, is work.
She must have something to do, for unless the emotions are given a
sane, legitimate outlet, she may come to the fatal conclusion that
religion is a thing apart from life, or there may follow a lowering of
ideals, or the morbid introspection common to girls in their teens,
but which the Christian should escape.
So we must direct her thoughts from herself to her companions. It is
she who can establish a bond of interest between the other girl and
the church. She can bring the other girl under its influence, and help
her see what it stands for in the world.
"No," said a girl to me at a conference, "it isn't any of the
speakers, or the books, or sermons that have interested me; it is just
Edith and Alice. They are such splendid girls and they just love the
church and all the work they are doing. They are having such good
times and are truly happy. I want to understand it. Whatever it is I
want it." I have heard scores of girls say it in varying phraseology.
One girl influences another more than we can, so we may set her at
work with her companions.
But that is not work enough--and it is too indefinite. She must have a
part in the mission work, the social work, be interested in the sick
and unfortunate, and learn now that the business of the church is to
care about the lonely women, the toiling women and their children, the
little, narrow, self-centered women, and those who find it hard to be
good, just as its Lord and Master cared. Nothing is more encouraging
to those who love the church than a large number of bright,
attractive, natural girls, on whose hearts and lives this great truth
is beginning to make an impression which must find expression.
The second thing necessary to the right development of the girl in her
teens is ideal Christian women in the church of which she is a member.
The women of the church, from those a little older than herself up to
those who for many years have been its support, must show to her what
it means to be a Christian woman in the church, community and home.
Alas for those girls who see that it means only attendance upon the
services of the church when perfectly convenient, and when minister
and choir are entirely satisfactory! Alas for those girls who see that
it means little more than a comfortable sense of respectability and
social opportunity!
Fortunate are those girls who in their early teens see among the
church members scores of sane, true, large-hearted women interested in
every need, anxious to help, and willing to serve in every way that
time and means will permit.
The church of whose women the girl in her teens, watching with her
keen eye, can say, in her ardent way, "I'd rather be like Mrs. ----,
than any one I know--she is perfectly lovely," is of real value as an
uplifting, vitalizing force in the world.
The girl in her teens needs the church to furnish the upward pull and
there is need of greater effort in every line and by every member to
bring her into contact with it.
The church needs the girl in her teens with all the intensity of her
power of devotion and genuineness of her love; with all the strength
of her emotions so easily turned under right conditions toward the
best things in life.