(_A Protest from Mr. Punch_.)
[The National Organising Committee for War Savings has issued an appeal
against extravagance in women's dress.]
Certain ladies--just a section
Of our spindle side--
Swerving in a wrong direction,
Dress have deified;
And, as incomes grow more slender,
Bring discredit on their gender
By refusing to surrender
Fashion for their guide.
Most of England's wives and daughters
Play a noble part,
In the very deepest waters
Never losing heart;
Danger and privation braving,
Nursing, helping, toiling, slaving,
Thinking vastly more of saving
Than of looking smart.
Highly-paid officials slate us,
Dwelling on the ills
Which infallibly await us
In our empty tills;
But these frenzied fair ones, furious
in the quest of the luxurious,
Still pursue a most injurious
Cult of frocks and frills.
True, our Ministerial teachers
Fail us in the fight,
For the practice of the preachers
Sins against the light;
Still "Two Wrongs"--for so the sages
Crystallize the lore of ages
Gathered at successive stages--
"Do not make a Right."
Birds of Paradise are grateful
Under skies serene;
But the human type is hateful
On a tragic scene;
When the outlook's drear and cloudy
_Punch_ would rather see you dowdy
Than extravagant and rowdy
In your dress and mien.
True simplicity is tasteful;
Think before you spend;
Woeful want attends the wasteful
In the bitter end;
You who, when the world is mourning,
All remonstrance lightly scorning,
Only think of self-adorning,
Sadden _Punch_, your friend.
* * * * *
Let Sleeping Birds Lie.
"Someone had said it was 'far better to have the birds driven
over one than to have to wake them up.'"--_Scottish Paper._
* * * * *
"The Council of the Poetry Society has confirmed the appointment
of Mr. Galloway Kyle as acting editor of the 'Poultry Review.'"
Now that official action has been taken we may expect an increase in the
number of lays.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Exhilarated Visitor_ (_leaving Club_). "The feller who
caught that fish's dem liar."]
* * * * *