As I perceived the commissary of the post-office would have his six
livres four sous, I had nothing else for it, but to say some smart thing
upon the occasion, worth the money:
And so I set off thus:----
----And pray, Mr. Commissary, by what law of courtesy is a defenceless
stranger to be used just the reverse from what you use a _Frenchman_ in
this matter?
By no means; said he.
Excuse me; said I--for you have begun, Sir, with first tearing off my
breeches--and now you want my pocket----
Whereas--had you first taken my pocket, as you do with your own
people--and then left me bare a--’d after --I had been a beast to have
complain’d----
As it is----
----’Tis contrary to the _law of nature_.
----’Tis contrary to _reason_.
----’Tis contrary to the GOSPEL.
But not to this----said he--putting a printed paper into my hand,
PAR LE ROY.
------’Tis a pithy prolegomenon, quoth I--and so read on
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----By all which it appears, quoth I, having read it over, a little too
rapidly, that if a man sets out in a post-chaise from _Paris_--he must
go on travelling in one, all the days of his life--or pay for it.
--Excuse me, said the commissary, the spirit of the ordinance is
this --That if you set out with an intention of running post from _Paris_
to _Avignon_, &c., you shall not change that intention or mode of
travelling, without first satisfying the fermiers for two posts further
than the place you repent at--and ’tis founded, continued he, upon this,
that the REVENUES are not to fall short through your _fickleness_----
----O by heavens! cried I--if fickleness is taxable in _France_--we have
nothing to do but to make the best peace with you we can----
AND SO THE PEACE WAS MADE;
----And if it is a bad one--as _Tristram Shandy_ laid the corner-stone
of it--nobody but _Tristram Shandy_ ought to be hanged.