----But it is an indubitable verity, continued I, addressing myself to
the commissary, changing only the form of my asseveration----that I owe
the king of _France_ nothing but my good-will; for he is a very honest
man, and I wish him all health and pastime in the world----
_Pardonnez moi_--replied the commissary, you are indebted to him six
livres four sous, for the next post from hence to St. _Fons_, in your
route to _Avignon_--which being a post royal, you pay double for the
horses and postillion--otherwise ’twould have amounted to no more than
three livres two sous----
----But I don’t go by land; said I.
----You may if you please; replied the commissary----
Your most obedient servant----said I, making him a low bow----
The commissary, with all the sincerity of grave good breeding--made me
one, as low again. ----I never was more disconcerted with a bow in my
life.
----The devil take the serious character of these people! quoth
I--(aside) they understand no more of IRONY than this----
The comparison was standing close by with his panniers--but something
seal’d up my lips --I could not pronounce the name--
Sir, said I, collecting myself--it is not my intention to take post----
--But you may--said he, persisting in his first reply--you may take post
if you chuse----
--And I may take salt to my pickled herring, said I, if I chuse----
--But I do not chuse--
--But you must pay for it, whether you do or no.
Aye! for the salt; said I (I know)----
--And for the post too; added he. Defend me! cried I----
I travel by water --I am going down the _Rhône_ this very afternoon--my
baggage is in the boat--and I have actually paid nine livres for my
passage----
_C’est tout egal_--’tis all one; said he.
_Bon Dieu!_ what, pay for the way I go! and for the way I do _not_ go!
----_C’est tout egal_; replied the commissary----
----The devil it is! said I--but I will go to ten thousand Bastiles
first----
_O England! England!_ thou land of liberty, and climate of good sense,
thou tenderest of mothers--and gentlest of nurses, cried I, kneeling
upon one knee, as I was beginning my apostrophe.
When the director of Madam _Le Blanc’s_ conscience coming in at that
instant, and seeing a person in black, with a face as pale as ashes, at
his devotions--looking still paler by the contrast and distress of his
drapery--ask’d, if I stood in want of the aids of the church----
I go by WATER--said I--and here’s another will be for making me pay for
going by OIL.