[Illustration: NO MORE APPLES FOR THE MINISTER.]
They tell a good story at Portage City, at the expense of Senator Barden,
or a minister, we don't know which. Barden had a lot of apples sent him
last fall, and he was anxious to sell them, before winter set in. One day
he thought of a new minister that had settled in Portage, so he made up
his mind to take him up a couple of barrels, supposing that when he went
to heaven and saw the big ledger opened, there would be a credit about as
follows:
L.W. BARDEN,
in acc't with Providence,
1876.
Oct. 21. By two bbls. apples, @ $3 $6.00
" " " drayage .30
-----
Total $6.30
Barden loaded them on a dray, and got on it, with his pants in
his boots, and went up to deliver them himself. He stopped at the
minister's gate, and hurried the apples off and rolled them inside the
gate, and tried to get away before the minister had time to thank him.
Just as he was about to drive away the door opened and the man of God came
out, and says he:
"Look here! You put them apples in the cellar!"
Barden told him he was in something of a hurry, and really he could not
spare the time. The minister raised his voice to a sort of "auction
pitch," and said:
"Here, now. You don't know your business, Mr. Drayman. You roll them
apples into the cellar, or I won't accept them."
The senator was by this time as mad as senators usually get. He jumped off
the dray, threw the two barrels of apples on, and drove off, saying he
didn't care a continental dam if the minister eat dried apples all winter.
And he took them back to his store, and it is safe to say that he will not
give many more apples to that minister.
MORAL:--Never despise a man because he wears a ragged coat, for he may be
a senatorial granger angel in the disguise of a drayman. And you may have
to fill up on turnips instead of apples.