harmonious sounds, but Adalga looked at the fairy with a wicked glance
in her eye, and said:
“A curious specimen, which we must not let escape. It will be quite an
ornament to our museum.”
“It will be no such thing,” I answered indignantly. “This noble fairy
is under my protection, and I shall protect her.”
But the princess retorted in a haughty manner:
“The interests of science are first of all to be taken into
consideration. It may not be strictly correct, in a legal sense, to
retain the prisoner, but the end justifies the means.”
To this the king added:
“I always told you so; the end justifies the means.”
Upon this Adalga made a vicious grab at the Oleander blossom, trying
to capture it, but did not succeed; for the rose-coloured radiance at
once became transformed into a column of red vapour, which whirled
away, while from its interior came a discordant sound indicative of
disappointment and sorrow.
The princess flew into a rage, and elongating her body to the full
length, struck at the column of vapour, but only to fall upon her nose,
for the red cloud had already passed beyond her reach. We followed the
fairy, but could only see the rose-coloured light floating back into
the tunnel, where it disappeared, and after a little while a mournful
strain of music was heard. We sent up a variety of flowers with a hope
of renewing the negotiations; but they were not accepted. We received
nothing but a rain of ashes, indicating that all prospects for an
amicable understanding were at an end.
This failure to catch the spirit of sound caused to the princess a
great deal of vexation, and she blamed us for not having closed up
the mouth of the tunnel to prevent the return of the fairy. To this I
replied:
“There is a certain amount of honour even among thieves; but to a
person absorbed by a greed for gratifying his scientific curiosity
in regard to that which belongs to the higher life, nothing is
inviolable or sacred, and nothing safe from his attempts to uselessly
and foolishly cause its destruction. Too clumsy, stupid, and cowardly
to try to rise up to a conception of high and exalted ideals, those
would-be scientists and pseudo-philosophers would like to entice those
ideals, allure them by false promises, and drag them down into the
manure in which they themselves love to roll; but thanks to the laws
of the eternal spirit in nature, true goodness cannot be approached by
evil, wisdom is not comprehensible to the fool, and purity does not
amalgamate with filth.”
“Prove it!” she cried, probably more from force of habit than as a
result of reflection; for some remnant of reason left in her mind
seemed to make her feel the idiocy of her requests, and, changing the
subject, she said:
“Who is it that has caused me to pry with curious eyes behind the veil
of the unknown, and to strive to outstrip my own natural growth. Who
caused the loss of my light, my beauty and purity, destroyed my ideals,
and made me a slave to doubt? Who, but you yourself, has caused me
to treat reason with contempt, to become blind through vanity, and
deformed by scepticism? Who, but you, has presented us with a knowledge
of evil, which to overcome we have not become strong enough? Who, but
you, took away our power, by causing us to expend it in channels that
did not belong to our true nature? You caused us to lose our ethereal
state, so that now we have to creep like worms upon the earth, instead
of sailing like eagles through space on wings of freedom, as was the
custom of our race before you arrived. Now the hellish work has begun
and it shall be finished, let the cost be what it may. The end must be
made to justify the means.”
The determined and clear manner in which Adalga spoke pleased me
very much; it proved to me that there was still a lingering spark of
reason in her. It was as if the falling upon her nose had awakened her
finer sensibilities, and I was about to enter into a discussion of
philosophical questions with her; but she would not listen. Turning to
the king, she requested him to declare war immediately to the superior
kingdom, to force its doors open, and to select the best troops for
making the assault.
“You are the ruler of the world,” she said to the king. “You are great
and wise. No one will dare to resist you.”
“Of course,” answered the king, being much tickled by her flattering
words, and assuming an air of self-importance. “I am the ruler of the
world. I am great and wise. No one will dare to resist me. I will
exterminate the spirits of the superior kingdom.”
The troops were gathered, and of each division the best individuals
selected for making the first assault under the command of Clavo; but
now a great difficulty presented itself at the very start; for even
the common people among the gnomes had become so much accustomed to
arguing, that not a soldier would obey an order without having all the
“whys” and “wherefores” explained to him. Each private wanted to know
why this or that order was given, and whether it would be advisable
to follow it, and what it was intended for, and whether not perhaps
something better might be done, and so forth. This caused an endless
delay; because, for the purpose of obtaining the consent of the
subordinates to follow an order, the commanding general had to explain
his views and argue his points with the officers; the officers had to
reason it out with the corporals, and they in their turn had to discuss
it with the privates and obtain their consent. Some thought the given
order practicable, others made objections and refused to obey, and
nobody could be induced to act against his own views. From this state
of affairs there arose a great deal of delay, difficulties, and waste
of time; but at last the assault was made.
They were driven back with great loss, and others took their places,
but with the same result. The most obstinate gnomes were sent forward,
and for two nights lasted the battle, in which wonderful deeds of
stubbornness and daring were accomplished, with no other effect than
bringing destruction upon the gnomes and doing no harm to the fairies,
whose stronghold was inaccessible; for whenever our soldiers rushed
up through the tunnel, a single effusion of lightning was sufficient
to kill the greater portion of them, while the rest were driven back
mutilated and scorched.
Thus the flower of the kingdom of the gnomes was destroyed; the wails
of the widows and orphans resounded, and the king wept unceasingly,
beating the air with his arms in sheer despair and impotent fury.
Nevertheless, owing to the persuasions of the princess, the gnomes
would not desist. She made the king believe that, according to her
theory about the exhaustion of energy, the lightning power of the
fairies could not endure very long, and the king believed all she said.
“If we cannot go up to them,” she said, “we must make them come down.”
To this end she instituted sham flights among the troops, hoping to
induce the elfs to pursue them, and she tried all possible means for
beguiling the inhabitants of the upper realm, and lead them into a
trap. She made to them all kinds of false promises, but those spirits
saw that her motive was not pure; she tried to attract them by her
song, but her voice had become harsh and disagreeable, like the
screeching of an owl.
In fact, I must confess it, although it may not be considered nice to
speak ill of a lady, especially if she is one’s intended wife, that
Adalga had become somewhat disagreeable. This war brought out the worst
traits of her character, and no means were too contemptible for her to
employ, provided they held out a prospect to her for accomplishing what
she desired.
It has already been stated that, at the time which corresponded to day
in our world, the gnomes fell into a death-like sleep, from which they
did not awaken until night settled upon the earth. Not being a gnome, I
was not subject to the law of their nature, but could remain awake and
observe what was taking place during their sleep.
Thus, during the third day after the beginning of the struggle, I was
lying awake in the camp, while all the gnomes were asleep. I was
watching the entrance of the tunnel, which appeared like a circular
opening in the clouds, through which issued a faint light, when
suddenly it became illumined by a roseate radiance of great beauty,
somewhat like the _aurora borealis_ or northern light. At the same
time I heard a chant as of angel voices, and directly afterwards
there issued from the tunnel a bevy of the most charming fairies,
each representing a luminous living flower, with a beautiful face in
its midst. There were Oleanders, Orange-Blossoms, Roses, Camelias,
Anemones, Pansies, Forget-me-nots, Daffodils, etc., and out of the
chalice or heart of each looked a childlike face, peaceful and smiling;
but the greatest and most radiant of all was a white Lotus flower, in
whose midst dwelt the fairy queen, with a crown of diamonds upon her
head.
I was not at all alarmed. I saw--if I am permitted to use such an
unscientific expression--that they intended no harm. It would have
been useless to attempt to awaken the sleeping gnomes; I therefore
remained still, and looked at the spirits of the flowers through my
half-closed lids. They moved about among the sleepers, singing and
scattering blossoms, and when they came to the place where Adalga
slept, they drew around her in a circle, throwing flowers upon her,
such beautiful ones as I had never seen before, and which did not fade
away either, when they touched the ground; but the princess smiled in
her sleep, as if she had a pleasant dream, and her features assumed an
expression that made her look agreeable in spite of her ugliness.
The fairies stood regarding the sleeper with great attention, while
pity and hope were expressed in their faces, and the Lotus flower
stepped out of her chalice, and sang in a silvery voice a song in a
language which I did not understand literally, but whose sentiments
became clear to my heart, and might perhaps be expressed in the
following lines:--
“We are the spirits of the voice of truth.
Symbols of beauty, harmony, and youth;
We teach thee wisdom from the sphere above,
If thou wilt listen to our song of love.
Without the darkness light cannot be known;
To know truth, falsehood must be overthrown.
Peace without effort would be death to thee;
Nought but the battle leads to victory.
Without a struggle there’s no joy in rest;
Only through evil good can manifest.
Without the dust of earth no plant will grow,
And no one rise who never fell below.
Nought comes from nought, and no amount of toil
Will raise a fruit tree from a barren soil;
But the good seed within the hot-bed needs
No other help but rooting out the weeds.
Knowledge is power, but it serves you naught,
Unless you practise that which you were taught;
Toil without knowledge is a fruitless tree,
Science unused is naught but theory.
Knowledge is power, but remember well
You must yourself destroy the magic spell;
And Lucifer, who came but to redeem,
Redeems you only if you conquer him.”
Thus the queen of the Lotus ended her song, and floated away with her
companions. The last I saw of them was a roseate light shining from the
mouth of the tunnel. I then fell asleep myself, and slept until I was
awakened by the blowing of horns, the blast of trumpets, and beating
of drums, calling the troops together for a renewal of the fight, and
those who were so inclined got up and joined the ranks.
I went to the princess, and found her to be in a pensive mood, while
her loquaciousness was less than usually active--a circumstance which
I attributed to the visit of the fairies. I asked her whether she had
experienced a pleasant dream.
“I do not believe in dreams,” she answered. “Scientists never attribute
any importance to dreams or to subjective experiences; our attention is
fully engaged by the objective realities of life.”
“Confound your false science!” I said. “It deals, after all, with
nothing but appearances and dreams. The fairies seemed to me very
objective.”
“So you saw them?” replied Adalga. “Perhaps it was your
thought-transfer which caused that hallucination.”
“Let it be what it may,” I said. “It is of little importance from
what we receive a lesson; the lesson itself is that which we ought to
consider.”
“We are not in the habit of accepting lessons,” she answered, “unless
they come from some well-recognised authority.”
To this I answered:
“Truth is truth, no matter by whom it is uttered.”
“Prove it!” exclaimed the princess, and as I remained silent, she
continued, sneeringly: “If we are asked to listen to a theory, the
first thing is to inquire about the claims for credibility of him who
puts them forth. Upon what authority does his assertion rest? What
books can he quote for the support of his opinion? If all this is
settled, we may listen to his proofs, and decide whether we will accept
them or not.”
I groaned. “Alas!” I said; “in your science it is all creed, but no
perception of truth.”
Off she went, and soon cries of distress were heard between the
explosions that followed. The storming party was beaten back. A fresh
attack was ordered, but the troops had become disheartened, and refused
to enter the tunnel. Some, however, were inclined to proceed, and
called the others cowards; and this led to a quarrel among the troops,
which resulted in a fight, and the fight developed into an open revolt,
during which it soon became plain that the mutineers were in great
strength. In vain the king butted his head against everything that
happened to come in his way, in vain the princess proved by irrefutable
arguments that the loyal troops could not be conquered; they were
beaten anyhow, and we were driven back with them in the direction of
Lucifer’s temple. Soon after that we were pressed so hard that we had
to seek shelter behind the walls. Multitudes thronged in after us, and
many more sought to enter, but could find no room. The space became so
crowded that the gnomes pushed each other, and struggled for room. Thus
they pressed against the pedestal of the queen frog, some climbing upon
it, others trying to climb; and in the midst of the uproar the monster
began to sway, and, losing its balance, it fell.
A crash followed. The frog was broken to pieces, and volumes of
poisonous vapour coming from the phosphorus filled the place.
Instinctively I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again the whole
assembly of gnomes had become transformed into animals. Bimbam I. had
turned into an ox, rushing madly through the crowd; in the place of the
commanding general stood a sheep; and, to my horror, I beheld a big
goat in the place of the princess. Cravatu had become a black lizard,
with yellow spots, and all the rest of the gnomes now appeared in
animal forms. There were bats flying about, mice rushing into holes,
spiders crawling over the walls; and two ministers, having turned
into brass beetles, were rolling a ball of dirt over the ground. Cats
squalled, rats whistled, frogs croaked, sheep bleated, dogs yowled and
barked, and the whole was in a terrible confusion.
The goat stared at me in an offensive manner, which I was bound to
resent. So I said:
“You need not stare at me in this manner. Is this your gratitude for my
conferring upon you the blessings of civilisation? Is this the thanks
which I am to receive from you for teaching you logic, and how to draw
inferences from postulates? To you we owe all this misfortune. It is
your confounded curiosity that made you meddle with things for whose
conception you were not mature, and which you could not realise, that
brought about this war. The stubbornness with which you kept clinging
to your preconceived opinions has caused this mutiny. Now you have
turned into a goat, and I can only say it served you right.”
The goat tried to speak, but brought forth only a stuttering
“ma-a-a-h,” which sounded to me like the ironical laughter of a
scientist of old laughing at the rotundity of the earth.
The princess--that is to say, the goat--lowered her head.
“You need not get angry!” I exclaimed, feeling somewhat alarmed. “You
ought to be ashamed of yourself. I wish that I had never seen you. I am
only sorry that it is I who is to be married to a goat.”
But before I had time to finish this sentence, the goat made a vicious
rush at me, and gave me a butt on my stomach which took my breath. I
grasped the princess by her horns, and a struggle ensued.
Just then I heard somebody yell in an unearthly manner, and recognised
the voice as that of Professor Cracker. In a moment the situation
became perfectly clear to me, and I was no longer Mulligan, but Mr
Schneider. Jeremiah Stiffbone was close to me, calling upon somebody
to have pity upon his soul; and from under him there came forth a
series of indefinite grunts, in which I recognised Mr Scalawag’s voice.
The goat escaped, and I knew that we still were in that hole in the
Untersberg, near the Dragon’s Den, and that my adventure among the
gnomes had been only a dream.
The rest may easily be imagined. The subterranean passage, into which
we had entered for obtaining shelter, had another outlet upon the other
side of the hill, and through that a herd of goats had come in for some
purpose; but the rest of one of them had been rudely disturbed by the
foot of Professor Cracker. No serious harm, however, was done, while
the experience was not without scientific value, as it proved that the
goat was very spirited--a circumstance that might be regarded as going
to show that there was some spirit after all in that goat. This theory
I, however, advance merely as a working hypothesis, leaving it to the
reader to use his own judgment as to whether he will accept it as
wholly true, or only in part.
Thus Mr Schneider’s story ended, and nothing has been heard publicly
of the gnomes ever since. It is even believed that they keep their
doors locked against all reformers. But, in commemoration of the event
described, a board has been put up in the Dragon’s Den, upon which a
representation of the encounter between the committee and the spirit
of that goat has been roughly painted by an amateur artist; and below
the picture there is a description of the adventure in doggerel verse,
which caused me a great deal of trouble to translate, but which might
be rendered in English as follows:--
“Stop, wanderer, and behold with silent contemplation,
How exact science fought interior revelation.
The cleverest thing that Cracker had invented
Was by a stupid goat, with her two horns resented.
Alas! such is the fate of all the would-be wise;
We only know for sure that which we realise.”
THE END.
PRINTED AT THE EDINBURGH PRESS, 9 AND 11 YOUNG STREET.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] This is a mere assertion, and has not been proved. What is joy? By
what recognised authority can it be shown to exist?--_Printer’s remark._
[2] We deprecate such statements which are scientifically improbable,
and cannot be demonstrated as true. We never had any premonitions and
refuse to believe in such things.--_Printer’s remark._
[3] We regret such vagaries. The scientific explanation, which
is far more reasonable, would be that the noise was due to a
current of air. Mr Schneider seems to have been labouring under an
hallucination.--_Printer’s remark._
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:
Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_.
Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been standardized.
Archaic or variant spelling has been retained.