The vital powers, which ought to have been distributed harmoniously
through her system, went almost exclusively to furnish her intellect,
and the consequence was that her head increased enormously in size,
while her heart began to shrink. Her sight became dim, so that she
could no longer distinguish right from wrong; her joyfulness left her;
she became dissatisfied with herself and with everything; a continual
scowl rested upon her face, and it was no pleasure to spend an hour in
her company. Her former friends stampeded when they saw her approach.
I often tried to make her understand that at the basis of all creation
there was an universal power, which has no name, but which men call
God, and which those who reject that term, because they have formed a
false conception of that which is beyond all human conception, might
call by some other name, such as Love, Reason, All-consciousness,
Divine Wisdom, etc., and that she might feel the manifestation of that
power within her own soul, if she would only pay attention to it.
“Prove it,” she cried. “Prove that I have a soul, or that anybody has
such a thing, and which has never been discovered by science, neither
in the pineal gland nor in the big toe. Show me that soul, and let me
examine it, and I will bottle it up and preserve it in the museum.”
“Soul means life,” I replied. “How can you know that you have a life,
except by the fact that you are living?”
“Fiddlesticks!” exclaimed the princess. “There is no such thing as
life. What seems life to you is only a phenomenon produced by the
mechanical action of brain molecules, the result of indigestion.”
I was frightened to see the effects which my premature revelation of
the mysteries of science had upon the princess. In vain I reminded
her of the sentiments which she formerly used to have, and which were
expressed in her song in the cave at the time of our first meeting. She
called all these things “childish fancies,” unworthy of the serious
attention of science. Alas! her study of the phenomenal side of nature
would not have been objectionable if only her spiritual culture had not
suffered by that; but while her intellect grew strong by overfeeding,
her soul became starved to death; neither would she listen to my
admonitions; she could not realise the possession of anything higher
than the ever-doubting intellect, and this was probably because she was
only a gnome.
One day, when I actually thought her reason was entirely gone, I said
to her--
“Adalga, dear, do you know me?”
“Don’t dear me,” was her answer. “How can you ask such a foolish
question? I know that I have an image of somebody on my brain, and that
its name is said to be Mulligan, but whether your qualities correspond
to that image or not I have not yet discovered. For all I know, the
Mulligan with whom I fancy myself to be acquainted may be only a
product of my own imagination.”
“It seems you love me no more?” I inquired despondently.
“What is love but an effect of the imagination?” she answered. “If I
chose to fall in love with a pitchfork, and bestow my affection upon
it, it will do me the same service as to love Mr Mulligan.”
“I assure you,” I said, “true love is an entirely different thing. That
which you describe is only some kind of fancy.”
“Prove it,” she exclaimed, as usual; but alas! I could not prove to her
that whose existence she could not experience.
To make the matter short, Adalga became so scientific as to lose all
her loveliness of form and character, and became overbearing, ugly,
conceited, and foolish, and the same was the case more or less with all
the rest of the gnomes. The whole population became clever and cunning,
but, at the same time, lying and hypocritical. Formerly they had been
moved, as it were, only by one will, namely, the will of the king;
now everybody wanted to rule everybody else, and nobody rule himself
or be ruled by another. There was nothing but quarrels, disputes,
dissensions, dissatisfaction, and selfishness; the gnomes lost their
perception of truth and their light. The kingdom grew dark.
Formerly everything had been peaceful; but now it became necessary to
employ force for the purpose of keeping order. Each gnome cared only
for his or her own interests, and this caused fights. One of the first
requirements was the establishment of a police. I soon found that the
employees of the government, including the police, could not be relied
upon. I therefore had to establish a corps of detectives, and employ
for that purpose the greatest rascals, because it is known that “it
requires a thief to catch a thief.” These detectives had again to
be watched by others, and from this ensued an universal espionage,
which was intolerable. Moreover, everybody seeing himself continually
watched, was thereby continually reminded that it was in his power to
steal, and the end of it was that the people considered it to be a
great and praiseworthy act if one succeeded in stealing without getting
caught.
At the time of my arrival it was the custom of the gnomes to believe
everything that anybody said, but now it became fashionable never to
believe anything whatever. The consequence was that each believed the
other a liar; each mistrusted the other; nobody spoke the truth, if it
was not in his own interest to do so. Nothing could be accomplished
without bribery; crimes became numerous, and it became necessary to
establish jails all over the country.
There was one curious feature noticeable, especially among the Sagani,
who now constituted the great autocratic body of scientists. The more
learned they became the more narrow-sighted they grew. They lost the
power to open their eyes, and decided upon every question according
to hearsay and fancy. Their limbs became atrophied, and their heads
swollen. Some became so big-headed and top-heavy that they often lost
their balance and fell down. It was especially funny to see how they
tumbled about whenever one forgot himself, and by force of habit
elongated his body. Finally, narrow-sightedness became so universal
that a gnome without spectacles was quite a curiosity, and it has been
reported that even children with spectacles upon their noses were born;
but of this I have no positive proof.
To my horror, the head of the princess grew larger and stronger every
day, and two hard horn-like excrescences began to appear upon it at the
place where the phrenological bump of love of approbation is located.
At the same time she grew exceedingly stubborn and vain. She was
continually surrounded by flatterers who imposed upon her credulity.
She could bear no contradiction, and nevertheless craved for disputes
for the purpose of showing off her great learning. She lost her former
natural dignity and self-esteem, and in its place she acquired a great
deal of false pride; but her love of approbation revolted against the
idea that anybody might consider her vain, and for the purpose of
avoiding such a suspicion she joined gnomes of doubtful character, and
went into bad company.
Let me draw a veil over the history of these sad events. Even now,
although having resumed my individuality as Mr Schneider, I can look
back only with deep regret upon the change that overcame the charming
princess Adalga, owing to the ill-timed instruction of Mr. Mulligan.
As to her father, the king, instead of comprehending the sad state of
affairs of his kingdom, he took a very superficial view of it. He was
delighted with the intellectual progress of the princess, and with the
advancement of culture among his subjects, and he overwhelmed me with
tokens of favour, calling me a public benefactor for civilising the
gnomes.
Bimbam I. did not care to enter himself into the study of logic and
elocution, nevertheless he did not wish to be regarded as a fool. He
therefore tried to give himself an appearance of being learned, and
whenever his arguments failed, he became very irascible, and lost his
temper. He was excitable, but too great a lover of comfort to remain
long in an excited state, and for this reason he was easily pacified.
Often he would get raving mad, bucking his head against the walls; but
a moment afterwards he would go to smoke his pipe, as if nothing had
happened.
More and more the influence of the green frog was felt spreading
through the kingdom, and there were some who claimed to have seen
him wandering about the streets, spreading poisonous saliva from
his mouth, from which green and red-spotted toad-stools grew. The
world of the gnomes became continually more unnatural and perverted;
impudence assumed the place of heroism, sophistry the mask of wisdom,
lecherousness passed for love, hypocrisy paraded the streets under the
garb of holiness; those who succeeded in cheating all the rest were
considered the most clever; the most avaricious gnomes were said to be
the most prudent; he who made the greatest noise was thought to be
the most learned of all. Nor were the ladies exempt from this general
degradation, for they assumed the most ridiculous fashions, putting
artificial bumps on their backs and wearing tremendous balloons in the
place of sleeves; they lost their simplicity, were full of affectations
and whims, and to do anything whatever in a plain and natural way was
considered vulgar.
But what is the use of continuing to describe conditions which everyone
knows who has visited the Untersberg within the last few years? It is
sufficient to say that the country of the gnomes at that time resembled
to a great extent the human-animal kingdom of our days, and I would
have wished to leave it if I had not considered it my duty to remain
for the purpose of trying to undo some of the mischief which had
ignorantly been caused by my prematurely opening the door of the palace
of Lucifer.
[Illustration: FAIRIES AND FLOWERS]
VIII.
WAR.
Dark and gloomy grew the kingdom of the gnomes in proportion as the
light of each individual inhabitant decreased. Many who formerly
were like luminous spheres, shedding radiant rays to a considerable
distance, now became like dim will-o’-the-wisps, or merely
phosphorescent dots or firebugs. As the general darkness increased, the
glow that came from the eyes of the green frog in Lucifer’s temple,
whose doors were now continually open, became more visible, and at
certain times the frog actually seemed to be alive.
The ghosts in the temple continued their accustomed occupations without
making any progress whatever. The _perpetuum mobile_ was always on
the point of completion, but never completed; the bill of fare was
continually altered, but there was nothing to eat; and the calculations
made by the imaginary heir produced no interest. All the ghosts
repeated the same follies again, which they had been in the habit of
enacting before.
Meanwhile the work in the tunnel went on with great speed, and the hole
in the sky grew deeper every night; but it was impossible to say how
long it would take to finish it, as the depth of the atmosphere which
had to be penetrated was not known. I estimated it to be about one
thousand miles, and calculating the work at about five feet a night, I
found that the tunnel would be finished in 2924 years, which was rather
a long time to wait for the completion of my marriage.
Moreover, one very serious inconvenience made itself perceptible. The
working men had become so big-headed as to render it impossible for
more than three gnomes to work in the tunnel at the same time without
bumping their heads together. This delayed the progress and caused
fights, and the question of widening the tunnel had to be taken into
consideration, which would necessarily cause a considerable expense.
Already the country was groaning under the heavy burden of an
exorbitant taxation required for the heads of science, who did the
hard work of thinking, for paying salaries to professors, policemen,
pensioners, supporting prisoners and blind people, and especially
for supplying with luxuries the royal family and their hangers-on.
Especially the princess required a great deal of cash for her support.
Her external appearance had become rather uncanny, and she therefore
needed costly dresses and ornaments to hide her deformities. Her
head, having grown to an enormous size, resembled the show-case of a
jeweller’s shop, being hung over with chains and jewels, while a crown,
or to speak more correctly, a tube of gold, adorned her occiput for the
purpose of hiding the two horn-like excrescences.
I was one day consulting the king, and tried to demonstrate to him the
necessity of using some economy and curtailing his private expenses, as
otherwise the whole country would be involved in financial ruin; but I
found him quite unreasonable in that respect.
“I should like to know,” he exclaimed, “what is the use of my being the
king, if I cannot get all the money I want?”
“Everything,” I said, “belongs to your majesty, but it will be to
your own advantage to see that the resources of the country are not
squandered, for, when the production ceases, there will be no more
income.”
“Well,” said the king, “if the people refuse to pay, I can still depend
upon my army, and we shall see.”
Just at that moment we were interrupted by loud reports like
explosions, following each other in rapid succession. This was followed
by shouts and cries, and immediately afterwards Cravatu came rushing
into the palace, and approaching the king, he said:
“May it please your majesty to take command of the army. The labourers
making the hole in the sky have perforated the frontier of the kingdom
of the spirits of the air, and the inhabitants offer resistance.”
The king, having still a certain amount of perception of truth, did not
get at all excited upon hearing this news, but lighting his pipe, he
took a few whiffs, and said:
“What about it? I do not blame them; we can do nothing else but retire.”
Just then the princess entered, and, hearing these words, she exclaimed:
“Rot! who ever heard of a king of the gnomes being afraid of the
spirits of the air?”
“I never,” replied the king.
“Well then,” continued Adalga, “we must beat back the intruders, and
force our way through their kingdom.”
The king was easily influenced, especially when his ambition was
touched. Therefore the words of the princess caused him to fly into a
rage. First he grew red in the face, his features expanded from ear to
ear like an india-rubber bag. Next, he jumped several feet from the
ground and came down again with a thump. After that he threw his pipe
upon the floor so that it broke, and stamped upon it with his foot.
Finally, he lowered his head and butted it against Cravatu; and, after
all this was done, he began to yell, crying at the top of his voice:
“We must drive the rascals away! We must force a passage through them!”
A tumult was heard in the ante-room, and directly numerous gnomes
rushed in. They were merchants and traders, and came to make offers
for furnishing supplies for the army. They were under-bidding each
other, each offering to the king a greater bribe for accepting his
offer. The king accepted some of the bargains which seemed to afford
to him the greatest profit for his private purse, and the goods were
delivered. They consisted of barrels labelled “flour,” and filled with
sand, carloads of “leather shoes” made of paste-board, wooden hams,
and cartridges filled with sawdust; also something that looked like a
cannon, but it was made of wood and varnished, so as to give it the
appearance of bronze.
We left the palace, and the blowing of horns indicated the locality
of the combat. On the way we met a train of wounded gnomes, some
exhibiting a pitiful aspect. All the wounded had terrible burns and
scalds, and the limbs of some were torn away. One poor fellow had lost
the whole of his lower jaw, which was dreadful to see, and he seemed to
suffer great pain.
“Why do not these people assume their ethereal forms and thus get rid
of their suffering bodies?” I asked the minister.
“This art,” answered Cravatu, “is now becoming very difficult, and
there are very few capable of exercising it, since we have become so
substantial. Moreover, these people cannot do so at all; because it is
necessary for that purpose that one should entirely forget his body,
and how could we do that, if the sensation of pain or of pleasure keeps
our attention fastened to it? For the purpose of throwing off the mask
of personality and entering into the state of selflessness, an entire
forgetfulness of self is required, such as is almost impossible to
attain in our present state of civilisation.”
The wounded we met became more numerous as we approached the
battle-field, and here and there could be seen a corpse, stiff and
stark, slowly but surely evaporating. When we arrived the explosions
had already ceased, and Clavo, the general in command, approached upon
a bicycle and made his report. From this it appeared that in trying to
enlarge the tunnel, the labourers had entered into side-issues, and by
blowing out a large block of air, made an opening into a foreign region
of unknown extent, which was inhabited by a tribe of sylphs or fairies,
unknown to science and not yet classified. These spirits had resented
the intrusion, and prevented the approach of our soldiers by pouring
upon them sheets of fluid lightning, with the most destructive effect,
so that all resistance was rendered impossible, and they were forced to
retreat after experiencing a considerable loss.
“There is nothing to be done,” said the general, after finishing his
account, “but to let these airy spirits alone and begin a new tunnel
in some other place. They are not of an aggressive character, and will
not molest us if we go away. We have, anyhow, no right to trespass upon
their territory.”
“This is exactly what I always said,” the king replied; “what business
have we to meddle with these good spirits? Let us go.”
But the princess interfered.
“Rot!” she cried: “Good spirits, indeed! Let them be exterminated! Will
your majesty let them deprive us of our glory? Their resistance is an
insult to you!”
No words can express the pitch of rage to which these words aroused the
king. Growing purple in the face and fairly screaming, he elongated
himself to three times his natural size, and bumping his head against
the wall, as was his habit whenever he fell into a passion, he cried:
“Let them be exterminated! Their resistance is an insult to me! Kill
them! Cut off their heads!”
And falling down in an epileptic fit, owing to the excessiveness of his
fury, he stamped with his feet, and kept on yelling, “Kill them! Cut
off their heads!”
I thought that perhaps the matter might be settled in an amicable
manner, and therefore I told the king that rashness was not always the
best policy, and I asked for permission to send a messenger, under the
protection of a flag of truce, to see whether or not a treaty could be
made with the spirits of the upper world.
“This is exactly what I always said,” replied the king. “Rashness is
not always the best policy. We must send a messenger by all means.”
Accordingly Cravatu and myself were appointed to that office, and we
went.
The undertaking was not without danger, as the nature of the enemy
and their habits of thought were not known, and it was not at all
improbable that we should receive a shot of lightning at our approach.
However, we arrived safely at the lower end of the tunnel, and, looking
up, we saw a great number of blue lights moving above like a swarm of
bees.
Cravatu, putting his hands to his mouth, shouted up through the hole:
“Peace be with you!”
We listened. The motion among the bees increased, and after a while we
heard a very sweet music, as if of a silver harp and lute. This was
followed by a roll of thunder and a flash of lightning, doing however
no harm.
“What does this mean?” I asked Cravatu, and he replied:
“I perceive that these people speak a language different from our own.
They are spirits of sound, and express their thoughts in music. What
they mean to say is that they are peaceable, if we let them alone, but
that they have the power to defend themselves if we trouble them.”
“Prove it,” I involuntarily exclaimed, for I had adopted instinctively
the habit of the princess, who wanted proofs for everything.
“It is not a matter for proving, but of understanding,” answered
Cravatu.
“But how are we going to reply?” I asked. “Where can we find a
dictionary of music, and who is going to compose the music, or fiddle
it to them?”
Upon this Cravatu said:
“The language of music used to be known to us as the music of nature.
In olden times the gnomes could understand it and speak it, and
required no dictionary for its interpretation, because their simple
minds understood that simple language. But now we gnomes have become
so learned and scientific, and our minds so complicated, that it is
possible for hardly anyone to understand a simple thing, or to express
himself in a simple manner. Fortunately, I still find some knowledge
of music in my rapidly fading memory, but I cannot answer in music.
However, I know the language of flowers, and this is also an universal
and natural language, somewhat akin to music, and, if I am not
mistaken, these spirits will understand it.”
This ingenuity of Cravatu pleased me very much. He was in fact still
sound at heart, one of the brightest of the gnomes, and in spite of
the progress of civilisation, in the midst of which he moved, he had
still a certain amount of perception of truth, although on that very
account he was much exposed to the ridicule of the scientists and made
a target for their wit, because they did not believe in such a thing as
intuition, and said that nobody could know anything except by way of
information, inference, and by a trained imagination.
Cravatu now called some of the Acthnici, who, by the mysterious power
which they possess, can create visible objects out of the invisible
images existing everywhere in the astral light, and ordered them to
produce a White Rose. This they did, and caused it to float slowly up
through the hole.
“What does this signify?” I asked, and Cravatu answered--
“The White Rose asks: ‘May I approach you?’”
We waited awhile, when down through the tunnel floated an Euphorbia.
We saw it plainly, and had ample time to examine it; but at the moment
when it touched the earth it vanished. This flower Cravatu interpreted
as being intended to say--
“Why do you persecute us?”
Up went a Heliotrope to tell them--
“My heart longs for you.”
And the answer came back in the shape of a Belladonna, indicating--
“We do not credit the honesty of your intentions.”
To this we replied by sending up a White Lily for the purpose of
testifying to the purity of our affection, whereupon we received a
Violet bidding us--
“Hope!”
Up again went a Daffodil, to ask them not to be so cruel as to let us
pine away in hopeless misery, and we waited.
A consultation seemed to take place among the bees. A great number
of small lights were seen to gather around a large blue light in the
middle, and a melodious humming was heard. Directly a leaf of a Fern
floated down, bringing the answer--
“I will meet you,” and in return we sent up a Geranium to inform them
that we were waiting.
Soon after that a clear and beautiful accord was heard, and something
luminous floated down through the tunnel, which I could not describe
otherwise than as being an oval-shaped radiance of an exquisite
rose-coloured light, composed of living sound, and emitting harmonious
accords, like an Æolian harp. When it issued from the mouth of the
tunnel, I perceived within its sphere the ethereal shape of an Oleander
blossom, in the midst of which appeared the childlike and smiling face
of a most charming fairy. These were then the spirits of flowers.
Cravatu presented the fairy with a Jessamine blossom as a token of
friendship, and invited her to accompany us to the king.
An accord, indicating consent, was the answer, and we returned with the
fairy in our midst.
“Bring the prisoner!” exclaimed Adalga, assuming an air of scientific
arrogance, when she saw us approaching. This rudeness offended me, and
I said:
“This is not a prisoner, princess, but an ambassador coming to us,
upon our invitation, and under the flag of truce. It is a fairy of
high descent, and the law of justice demands that she be treated
respectfully.”
“Prove it!” answered the princess angrily.
“Justice,” I said, “is not a thing to be proved, but to be practised.”