For where as all these come, Perverse Doctrine, Avarice, Ignorance
and Cruelty:
There goeth the hare,[31] except all good luck go away--
But, sirs, it is good, lest your names you descry,
To transpose them after some other kind,
Else be sure with the people much hatred to find.
As for Perverse Doctrine, Sound Doctrine; for Ignorance, Simplicity:
With there colours of late ourselves cloaked have we.
CRUELTY. What then shall I, Cruelty, be called in your judgment?
PERV. DOC. Marry, Justice with Severity, a virtue most excellent.
AVARICE. What will you term Avarice, I pray you let me hear?
PERV. DOC. Even Frugality, for to that virtue it cometh most near.
AVARICE. Content, by his wounds, I; but we must look to our feet,
Lest we stumble in these names, whensoever we meet.
PERV. DOC. Yea, see you take heed to that in any manner of case,
So may you delude the people in every place.
CRUELTY. Come then, it is time hence that away we depart.
IGNORANCE. We are ready to follow with a most willing heart.
AVARICE. But, sirs, because we have tarried so long,
If you be good fellows, let us part with a song.
CRUELTY. I am pleased, and therefore let every man
Follow after in order, as well as he can.
_The first_ SONG.
Well handled, by the mass, on every side.
Come, Avarice; for we two will no longer abide.
[_Exit Cruelty and Avarice._
PERV. DOC. Farewell to you both, and God send you success,
Such as may glad us all in your present business.
Now they be departed, and we may not tarry,
For it lieth us upon all to be stirring, by Saint Mary.
New Custom prevaileth much everywhere,
But, no matter, they be fools that do give him such ear.
Let old custom prevail rather, it is better than new;
This all will confess, that think scripture is true.
Do as thy fathers have done before thee (quoth he):
Then shalt thou be certain in the right way to be.
And sure that is better than to follow the train,
That each man inventeth of his own proper brain.
Which hath brought the world to this case, as we see,
That every day we hear of some notorious heresy.
Yet all is the Gospel, whatsoever they say.
Well, if it chance that a dog hath a day,
Wo then to New Custom and all his mates, tush, tush,
No man the Gospel will esteem then a rush.
What will that other heretic do, Light of the Gospel, I pray?
Dare not once show his face more than we at this day.
But come, Ignorance, let us follow after apace,
For we have abiden all too long in this place.
IGNORANCE. Let us go then, but, by the mass, I am vengeance
dry,
I pray let us drink at the alehouse hereby.
PERV. DOC. Content, in faith, thither with speed let us hie.
FOOTNOTES:
[21] [See Hazlitt's "Handbook," 1867, p. 129, _v._ costume, No. 3.
The phrase seems to be used here to signify expensive foreign fashions
generally.]
[22] The 4to reads _grace_. The alteration by Mr Dodsley.
[23] A proverb. _Tu hai mantillo di ogni acqua._--_S._
[24] _i.e._, The _onset._--_S._
[25] _i.e._, God's nails. So afterwards "By his wounds"--"His
blood"--without repetition of the sacred name by way of
introduction.--_S._
[26] In Fox's third volume of "Ecclesiastical History," 1630, p. 799,
is an account of one Richard Woodman, who was burnt at Lewes, with
nine others, on the 22d of June 1557. The circumstances attending his
apprehension resemble those above-mentioned, and seem to be the same
as are alluded to by the author of this morality.
[27] [_i.e._, What of this?]
[28] An expression of dislike or aversion used by almost every writer
of the times. Ben Jonson's _Cynthia's Revels_, A. iv. S. 5--"Of all
nymphs i' the court, _I cannot away with her_."
_Poetaster_, A. iii. S. 4--"And do not bring your eating player with
you there; _I cannot away with her_."
_Bartholomew Fair_, A. i. S. 6--"Good 'faith, I will eat heartily too,
because I will be no Jew, _I could never away with_ that stiff-necked
generation." [Gifford's edit. iv. 400-1.]
[29] [Beat him by stratagem. See Halliwell's Diet, in _v._]
[30] _i.e._, I care not. Camden in his "Remains" says, "I _force_ not
of such fooleries." Shakspeare has the same phrase.--_S._
[31] [In that direction sets the tide of opinion. This saying is in
Heywood's collection, 1562.]
ACTUS III., SCENA 1.
LIGHT OF THE GOSPEL, NEW CUSTOM, PERVERSE DOCTRINE.
L. OF GOSPEL. They be not this way, as far as I can see,
Unless they have hidden themselves up privily.
For in presence of Light of the Gospel and Primitive Constitution,
Undoubtedly such reprobates can have no habitation.
NEW CUS. Verily I do find it so even as you have said,
For at your sight they all fly away as dismayed.
Wherefore I have great cause to give you thanks, Light
Of the Gospel, that put thus my enemies to flight.
L. OF GOSPEL. Nay, they be my enemies also, that be enemies
to you.
Insomuch as your dealings be both virtuous and true.
For what is the Gospel else, whereof I am Light,
But truth, equity, verity and right?
They be enemies to God too, and all liars impure,
Insomuch as he is called Verity in the scripture.
And the lying lips, with speakers of vanity,
The Lord himself will revenge with extremity.
But see, what is he that approacheth so nigh?
NEW CUS. Of whom I told you: it is Perverse Doctrine verily.
L. OF GOSPEL. Then let us a little step out of the way,
If haply we may hear what he will say.
PERV. DOC. Ah, sirrah, by my troth, there is a very good vein!
Ignorance hath well lined his cap for the rain!
I could have tarried longer there with a good will,
But, as the proverb saith, it is good to keep still
One head for the reckoning, both sober and wise;
Wherefore in this thing I have followed that guise.
Ignorance is but a dolt, it is I that must drudge,
For need (they say) maketh the old wife and man both to trudge.[32]
Such snares we shall lay for these heretics, I trust,
That New Custom and his fellows shall soon lie in the dust.
If Cruelty may prevail, he will never slack,
Till he have brought a thousand of them to a stake.
Avarice hath promised to do what in him lay,
Who hath been in great credit with the world alway.
But if Ignorance may get place, there shall we do well,
Then adieu all idle heretics and vain talk of the gospel!
For me Perverse Doctrine, this shall be my fetch,[33]
To keep constant the minds of all I can catch;
Lest these glosers sometime they chance to hear preaching,
And thereby be converted, and credit their teaching.
For I trust shortly to bring it to pass,
That less knowledge of the Gospel shall serve, by the mass.
L. OF GOSPEL. Let us inclose him, that he may not fly,
Else will he be gone, when he doth us espy.
O imp of Antichrist, and seed of the devil!
Born to all wickedness, and nusled[34] in all evil.
PERV. DOC. Nay, thou stinking heretic, art thou there indeed?
According to thy naughtiness thou must look for to speed.
NEW CUS. God's holy word in no wise can be heresy,
Though so you term it never so falsely.
PERV. DOC. Ye precious whoreson, art thou there too?
I think you have pretended some harm me to do.
Help, help, I say, let me be gone at once,
Else I will smite thee in the face with my fist, by God's bones.
NEW CUS. You must be contented a little season to stay:
Light of the Gospel for your profit hath something to say.
PERV. DOC. I will hear none of your preachings, I promise
you plain;
For whatever you speak, it is but in vain.
L. OF GOSPEL. In vain it shall not be spoken, I know very well.
For God hath always given such power to his gospel,
That wherever or by whom declared it be,
It should redound unto his own honour and glory.
God is glorified in those whom he doth elect,
God is glorified in those also whom he doth reject.
The elect are saved by that in the world they believe;
But the other, because no credence they give
To the truth, cannot be but blameable,
Committing a fault of all faults most damnable.
For, _Si ad eos non venissem_, saith Christ our Saviour,
If I had not come unto them with the word, this is sure,
In far better case the unfaithful had been.
For in this one respect they had had no sin.
But where the truth is, and yet there contemned,
Of Christ his own mouth all such are condemned.
Thus the gospel of Christ, be it received or no,
Showeth the glory of God, wheresoever it go.
PERV. DOC. I were content to abide, and know your pleasure:
But for business at this time I have no leisure.
L. OF GOSPEL. What leisure ought a man at all times more to
have,
Than to endeavour both his body and soul for to save?
NEW CUS. For that care all other cares we must set aside.
PERV. DOC. Say on, then, for patiently I mind to abide.
L. OF GOSPEL. Not to hear what is spoken is only sufficient,
But to put it in practice with sincere intent
Whatsoever is taught us concerning good-doing,
Expressing it plainly in our virtuous living.
PERV. DOC. Why, what would you have me in living express?
L. OF GOSPEL. Even the gospel, which is nothing else,
doubtless,
But amendment of life and renouncing of sin:
With displeasure toward yourself for the faults you were in.
PERV. DOC. How shall I displease myself in sin, I would know?
L. OF GOSPEL. In considering that nothing bringeth man so low
Out of God's favour, as sin: nothing setteth him so high,
As loathing the same, and calling to him for his mercy.
PERV. DOC. Verily I am sorry for my forepassed demeanour,
But that cannot avail me but little, I am sure.
L. OF GOSPEL. Why think you so? boldly tell me your mind.
PERV. DOC. Because God's mercy is far enough behind.
L. OF GOSPEL. God's mercy is at hand, if you repent faithfully.
PERV. DOC. I repent my sins, and for them am sorry heartily;
But how shall I be sure mercy for to obtain?
L. OF GOSPEL. Credit me truly, for my words are not vain,
I am Light of the Gospel, and have full authority
To pronounce to the penitent forgiveness of iniquity,
So that, in asking, you put your assurance to speed:
Then no doubt you have obtained mercy indeed.
PERV. DOC. This assurance how cometh it, declare, I pray you?
L. OF GOSPEL. In thinking that Christ his words and promises
are true;
And as he cannot deceive, so cannot be deceived,
Which faith of all Christians must needs be received.
PERV. DOC. What thing is faith, I pray you recite?
L. OF GOSPEL. A substance of things not appearing in sight,
Yet which we look for, for so Saint Paul doth define,
To the Hebrews, the eleventh chapter and the first line.
PERV. DOC. How to purchase this faith, I would I could tell.
L. OF GOSPEL. Certainly by me also, the Light of the Gospel;
For faith cometh by the word, when we read or hear,
As by the same Saint Paul it doth plainly appear,
PERV. DOC. Give me leave then to embrace you, I pray you heartily.
L. OF GOSPEL. With all my very heart, I receive you courteously.
PERV. DOC. To thee I give most humble thanks, O God immortal,
That it hath pleased thee me from my wickedness to call;
And where as I deserved no mercy, but judgment,
Yet to pour down thy pardon on me most abundant,
Revoking me from reprobates and members of hell,
To win me in society with the Light of the Gospel.
L. OF GOSPEL. Stand up, there is somewhat else yet behind.
PERV. DOC. I wholly yield myself to you: use me after your mind.
L. OF GOSPEL. Perverse Doctrine you shall be called no more
after this,
But Sincere Doctrine, as now I trust your true name is.
PERV. DOC. By God's grace, while I live, I will so endeavour,
That my life and my name may accord thus for ever.
L. OF GOSPEL. Then all wicked company you must clean forsake,
And fly their society as a toad or a snake.
PERV. DOC. I abandon them quite, whatsoever they be.
NEW CUS. Well, Sincere Doctrine, hearken also unto me,
Whom needs you must follow, if you will do well,
Since you have embraced the Light of the Gospel.
I am not New Custom, as you have been misled,
But am Primitive Constitution, from the very head
Of the church, which is Christ and his disciples all,
And from the fathers, at that time taking original.
By me then you must learn for your own behest,
And for all vocations what is judged the best.
PERV. DOC. I receive you gladly with thanks for your gentleness,
At your hands craving earnestly for my trespass forgiveness.
NEW CUS. It is easily forgiven.
PERV. DOC. Now as touching my apparel, what counsel do you give?
For I see well that, in the constitution primitive,
They used no such garment as I have on here,
But fashioned it after some other manner.
NEW CUS. So did they truly, I confess it indeed;
But in such things a man ought not to take so great heed,
For the wearing of a gown, cap, or any other garment,
Surely is a matter, as me-seemeth, indifferent,
Howbeit, wise princes, for a difference to be had,
Hath commanded the clergy in such sort to be clad;
But he who puts his religion in wearing the thing,
Or thinks himself more holy for the contrary doing,
Shall prove but a fool, of whatever condition
He be, for sure that is but mere superstition.
Other things there be, which have been abused,
Tolerable enough, if well they were used:
Wherefore use your apparel, as is comely and decent,
And not against scripture anywhere in my judgment.
L. OF GOSPEL. No, sure: for God weigheth not (who is a sprite)
Of any vesture or outward appearance a mite,
So the conscience be pure, and to no sin a slave:
That is all which he most gladly would have.
NEW CUS. Well, these having declared and sufficiently taught,
And, I trust, on your part perceived as they ought:
By your patience, I mind to depart for a season.
L. OF GOSPEL. If your business be so, it is but reason.
NEW CUS. With great thanks unto you, Light
of the Gospel, for the gentleness I have found,
At your hands, as of due desert I am bound.
L. OF GOSPEL. The Lord be your guide, whither-soever you
depart.
PERV. DOC. Humble thanks, sir, I yield you from the bottom
of my heart.
Albeit in this part so small be my skill,
That I may not perform them according to my will.
NEW CUS. The peace of God be with you both for evermore.
[_Exit._
EDIFICATION _entereth_.
Wheresoever Light of the Gospel goeth before,
There I, Edification, do follow incontinent,
As unto the same a necessary consequent:
For though the letter always work not that effect,
Yet surely in the congregation of God's elect,
Where the light and force taketh place, there Edification
Of all right must I make my habitation.
Endeavour then always me to retain,
So shall your doctrine not be given in vain.
PERV. DOC. I receive you most gladly, and I trust in the Lord,
That for ever hereafter we shall well accord.
EDIFICATION. I trust so.
L. OF GOSPEL. Fare you well, now you are not alone,
For this small while I must needs be gone.
Here, take at my hands this Testament-book,
And in mine absence therein I pray you earnestly look.
PERV. DOC. Your commandment shall be done, with thanks for
your counsel.
L. OF GOSPEL. Then shall ye sure find great delight in the gospel.
[_Exit._
ASSURANCE _entereth_.
Edification without Assurance 'vaileth not much.
Yet where they both do meet, surely their force is such,
That to God's kingdom they open the way,
The sweet place of rest and perpetual joy.
For assurance in Christ Jesus without man's further merit,
Is fully sufficient God's favour to inherit:
Wherefore Light of the Gospel willed me so,
That to you, Edification, with all speed I should go:
So that with Sincere Doctrine we joined in unity,
Might in short time conduct him to God's Perfect Felicity.
PERV. DOC. I embrace you, Assurance, that bliss to obtain.
ASSURANCE. Then be you assured, that you shall not be vain;
For if that Christ's words be faithful and just,
God's Perfect Felicity is not far hence, I trust.
GOD'S FELICITY _entereth_.
Verily, where Edification and Assurance in one are allied,
God's Felicity is at hand, it may not be denied,
Which he promiseth to such as unfeignedly crave,
With Assurance that certainly the same they shall have:
Which Felicity in person here I do represent,
Who by God himself to the faithful am sent,
Prepared for them, as he plainly hath said,
Since the time that the world's foundations were laid;
Wherefore great thanks unto him doubtless you owe,
That it would please him such gifts on you to bestow,
The most precious thing, which man's reason doth excel,
No mind can conceive, much less tongue can tell.
PERV. DOC. To him therefore let us give all manner praise,
That beareth such affection to mankind always.
O Lord, thine honour might be great in heaven so high.
And throughout the whole earth thy everlasting glory.
Give grace to thy people, that after this transitory
Life they may come to thy perfect felicity.
EDIFICATION. Defend thy church, O Christ, and thy holy
congregation,
Both here in England and in every other nation.
That we thy truth may attain, and still follow the same,
To the salvation of our souls, and glory of thy name.
ASSURANCE. Preserve our noble queen Elizabeth and her council all,[35]
With thy heavenly grace, sent from thy seat supernal.
Grant her and them long to live, her to reign, them to see,
What may always be best for the weal-public's commodity.[36]
_The second_ SONG.
FOOTNOTES:
[32] [The usual form of the proverb is, "Need maketh the old wife
trot."]
[33] [Exertion, effort.]
[34] _i.e._, Nursed, fostered.--_S._
[35] It was a custom at the end of our ancient interludes and plays to
conclude with a solemn prayer for the king or queen, the council, the
parliament, or the nobleman by whom the players were protected. Many
instances are produced by Dr Farmer and Mr Steevens, in their last
notes on the epilogue to "Second Part of Henry IV.," and many others
might be added. See particularly the conclusion of Fulwell's "Like
will to like, quoth the Devil to the Collier," 1368; Wager's "The
longer thou livest the more foole thou art;" "King Darius," and
others.--_Reed._
[36] [Interest.]
RALPH ROISTER DOISTER
A COMEDY
BY NICHOLAS UDALL
(1550)
[The only copy known of this admirable comedy, and that deficient of the
title, was discovered in 1818, and is at present in the library of Eton
College. It was reprinted in 1818, again in 1821 and 1830, and for the
fourth time, with a copious account of Udall and his writings, by Mr W.
D. Cooper, 1847. It was licensed and probably printed in 1566, but is
quoted in Wilson's "Rule of Reason," 1551, before which date it was no
doubt not only composed but performed.
"Ralph Roister Doister" is the first regular comedy in our language--a
place of honour long held by "Gammer Gurton's Needle," which is an
inferior, as well as a later, production.
Since the appearance of Mr Cooper's edition, Mr Furnivall has printed
from the Royal MS. the pageant referred to at p. xiii. of Mr Cooper's
introduction in one of the Ballad Society's volumes.]
THE PROLOGUE.
What creature is in health, either young or old,
But some mirth with modesty will be glad to use,
As we in this interlude shall now unfold?
Wherein all scurrility we utterly refuse;
Avoiding such mirth, wherein is abuse:
Knowing nothing more commendable for a man's recreation,
Than mirth which is used in an honest fashion.
For mirth prolongeth life, and causeth health;
Mirth recreates our spirits, and voideth pensiveness;
Mirth increaseth amity (not hind'ring our wealth);
Mirth is to be used both of more and less,
Being mixed with virtue in decent comeliness,
As we trust no good nature can gainsay the same:
Which mirth we intend to use, avoiding all blame.
The wise poets, long time heretofore,
Under merry comedies secrets did declare,
Wherein was contained very virtuous lore,
With mysteries and forewarnings very rare.
Such to write neither Plautus nor Terence did spare,
Which among the learned at this day bears the bell:
These with such other therein did excel.
Our comedy or interlude, which we intend to play,
Is named ROISTER DOISTER indeed,
Which against the vain-glorious doth inveigh,
Whose humour the roisting sort continually doth feed.
Thus, by your patience, we intend to proceed
In this our interlude, by God's leave and grace:
And here I take my leave for a certain space.
FINIS.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.[37]
RALPH ROISTER DOISTER, _A vain-glorious, cowardly
Blockhead._
MATTHEW MERRYGREEK, _a needy Humorist._
GAWIN GOODLUCK, _a Merchant._
TRISTRAM TRUSTY, _Friend of Gawin Goodluck._
DOBINET DOUGHTY, } _Servants of Ralph._
HARPAX, }
TRUEPENNY, _Servant of Dame Custance._
SIM SURESBY, _Captain of a ship of Gawin Goodluck._
A SCRIVENER.
DAME CHRISTIAN CUSTANCE, _A Widow, betrothed to Gawin
Goodluck._
MADGE MUMBLECRUST, }
TIBET TALKAPACE, } _Servants of Dame Custance._
ANNOT ALIFACE, }
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 37: [Not in the old copy.]
ROISTER DOISTER.
ACTUS I., SCÆNA 1.
MATTHEW MERRYGREEK. _He entereth singing._
As long liveth the merry man (they say),
As doth the sorry man, and longer by a day;
Yet the grasshopper, for all his summer piping,
Starveth in winter with hungry griping]
Therefore another said saw doth men advise,
That they be together both merry and wise.
This lesson must I practise or else, ere long,
With me, Matthew Merrygreek, it will be wrong.
Indeed men so call me; for, by him that us bought,
Whatever chance betide, I can take no thought.
Yet wisdom would that I did myself bethink,
Where to be provided this day of meat and drink;
For know ye that, for all this merry note of mine,
He might oppose me now, that should ask where I dine.
My living lieth here and there, of God's grace,
Sometime with this good man, sometime in that place;
Sometime Lewis Loiterer biddeth me come near;
Somewhiles Watkin Waster maketh us good cheer;
Sometime Davy Diceplayer, when he hath well cast,
Maketh revel-rout, as long as it will last;
Sometime Tom Titivile[38] maketh us a feast;
Sometime with Sir Hugh Pie I am a bidden guest;
Sometime at Nichol Neverthrive's I get a sop;
Sometime I am feasted with Bryan Blinkinsop;
Sometime I hang on Hankyn Hoddydoddy's sleeve;
But this day on Ralph Roister Doister's, by his leave.
For truly of all men he is my chief banker,
Both for meat and money, and my chief shoot-anchor.[39]
Forsooth Roister Doister in that he doth say,
And require what ye will, ye shall have no nay.
But now of Roister Doister somewhat to express,
That ye may esteem him after his worthiness,
In these twenty towns, and seek him throughout,
Is not the like stock whereon to graff a lout.
All the day long is he facing and craking[40]
Of his great acts in fighting and fray-making;
But when Roister Doister is put to his proof,
To keep the Queen's peace[41] is more for his behoof.
If any woman smile, or cast him an eye,
Up is he to the hard ears in love by and by:
And in all the hot haste must she be his wife,
Else farewell his good days, and farewell his life!
Master Ralph Roister Doister is but dead and gone,
Except she on him take some compassion.
Then chief of council must be Matthew Merrygreek!
What, if I for marriage to such an one seek?
Then must I sooth[42] it, whatever it is;
For what he saith or doth cannot be amiss.
Hold by his yea and nay, be his nown white son:[43]
Praise and rouse him well, and ye have his heart won;
For so well liketh he his own fond fashions,
That he taketh pride of false commendations.
But such sport have I with him, as I would not lese,
Though I should be bound to live with bread and cheese.
For exalt him and have him as ye lust indeed;
Yea, to hold his finger in a hole for a need.
I can with a word make him fain or loth;
I can with as much make him pleased or wroth;
I can, when I will, make him merry and glad;
I can, when me lust, make him sorry and sad;
I can set him in hope, and eke in despair;
I can make him speak rough, and make him speak fair.
But I marvel I see him not all this same day:
I will seek him out. But lo! he cometh this way.
I have yond espied him sadly coming,
And in love, for twenty pound, by his gloming.[44]
ACTUS I., SCÆNA 2.
RALPH ROISTER DOISTER, MATTHEW MERRYGREEK.
R. ROISTER. Come, death, when thou wilt: I am weary of my life.
M. MERRY. I told you, I, we should woo another wife. [_Aside._
R. ROISTER. Why did God make me such a goodly person?
M. MERRY. He is in, by the week; we shall have sport anon.
[_Aside._
R. ROISTER. And where is my trusty friend, Matthew Merrygreek?
M. MERRY. I will make as I saw him not; he doth me seek.
[_Aside._
R. ROISTER. I have him espied, me-thinketh; yond is he;
Ho! Matthew Merrygreek, my friend, a word with thee.
M. MERRY. I will not hear him, but make as I had haste.
[_Aside._
Farewell, all my good friends, the time away doth waste;
And the tide, they say, tarrieth for no man.
R. ROISTER. Thou must with thy good counsel help me, if thou can.
M. MERRY. God keep thee, worshipful Master Roister Doister,
And farewell the lusty Master Roister Doister.
R. ROISTER. I must needs speak with thee a word or twain.
M. MERRY. Within a month or two I will be here again.
Negligence in great affairs, ye know, may mar all.