A SELECT COLLECTION
OF
OLD ENGLISH PLAYS.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY ROBERT DODSLEY
IN THE YEAR 1744.
_FOURTH EDITION_,
NOW FIRST CHRONOLOGICALLY ARRANGED, REVISED AND ENLARGED
WITH THE NOTES OF ALL THE COMMENTATORS,
AND NEW NOTES
BY
W. CAREW HAZLITT.
BENJAMIN BLOM, INC.
New York
First published 1874-1876
Reissued 1964 by Benjamin Blom, Inc.
L.C. Catalog Card No.: 64-14702
_Printed in U.S.A. by_
NOBLE OFFSET PRINTERS, INC.
NEW YORK 3, N. Y.
NEW CUSTOM.
_A New Enterlude, no lesse wittie then pleasant, entituled new
Custome, devised of late, and for diverse causes nowe set forthe,
neuer before this tyme imprinted. 1573. [Col.] Imprinted at London,
in Fleete strete, by William How for Abraham Veale, dwelling in
Paules churche-yarde at the signe of the Lambe. 4to, B. L._
DODSLEY'S PREFACE.
I have not been able to discover who was the author of this piece. But I
think it is one of the most remarkable of our ancient moralities, as it
was wrote purposely to vindicate and promote the Reformation. It was
printed in 1573, and contrived so that four people might act it; this
was frequently done for the convenience of such as were disposed to
divert or improve themselves, by representing these kinds of
entertainments in their own houses.
[The authorship of "New Custom" remains undiscovered. It is a piece
which may have been written a few years before it was printed, and is
one of the dramatic efforts in furtherance of the Reformation. At the
same time, there is no apparent foundation for the hypothesis that the
morality was in existence any great length of time before the date of
publication.]
THE PLAYERS' NAMES IN THIS INTERLUDE BE THESE.
The Prologue.
PERVERSE DOCTRINE, _an old Popish Priest_.
IGNORANCE, _another, but elder_.
NEW CUSTOM, _a Minister_.
LIGHT OF THE GOSPEL, _a Minister_.
HYPOCRISY, _an old Woman_.
CRUELTY, _a Ruffler_.[1]
AVARICE, _a Ruffler_.
EDIFICATION, _a Sage_.
ASSURANCE, _a Virtue_.
GOD'S FELICITY, _a Sage_.
FOUR MAY PLAY THIS INTERLUDE.
1. PERVERSE DOCTRINE.
{ IGNORANCE,
2. { HYPOCRISY,
{ _and_ EDIFICATION.
{ NEW CUSTOM.
3. { AVARICE.
{ ASSURANCE.
{ LIGHT OF THE GOSPEL.
{ CRUELTY.
4. { GOD'S FELICITY.
{ THE PROLOGUE.
THE PROLOGUE.
All things be not so as in sight they do seem,
Whatsoever they resemble, or whatever men deem.
For if our senses in their own objects us do fail
Sometimes, then our judgment shall but little avail
In some things, as such, where doubt giveth denial
Of them in the best wise to make any trial.
Which saying is evident, as well shall appear
In this little interlude, which we present here;
Whereby we may learn how grossly we err,
Taking one thing for another, which differ so far,
As good doth from bad. Example therefore
You may take by these persons, if you mark no more.
For the primitive constitution, which was first appointed
Even by God himself and by Christ his annointed;
Confirmed by th' Apostles, and of great antiquity:
See, how it is perverted by man's wicked iniquity,
To be called New Custom or New Constitution,
Surely a name of too much ungodly abusion.
Which our author, indifferently scanning in his mind,
In his simple opinion this cause he doth find:
That, by reason of ignorance which beareth great sway,
And also stubborn doctrine, which shutteth up the way
To all good instruction and knowledge of right:
No marvel it was, though of the truth we were ignorant quite.
For truly in such a case the matter was but small
To make the ignorant soul to credit them all,
Whatsoever they said, were it truth or a lie.
For no man able was then to prove them the contrary.
Wherefore their own fancies they set in great price,
Neglecting the true way, like men far unwise.
Making semblant of antiquity in all that they did,
To th' intent that their subtlety by such means might be hid.
New Custom also hath he named this matter verily,
In consideration that the people so speaketh commonly,
Confuting the same by reasons most manifest,
Which in consequent order of talk are exprest.
This sense hath our author followed herein, as we said,
For other meaning: moreover he will not have it denayed,
But diverse may invent much distant from this,
Which in no wise he will have prejudicial to his,
Nor his unto theirs, whatsoever they be,
For many heads, many wits,[2] we do plainly see.
Only he desireth this of the worshipful audience:
To take in good part without all manner offence,
Whatsoever shall be spoken, marking the intent,
Interpreting it no otherwise but as it was meant.
And for us, if of patience you list to attend,
We are ready to declare you the matter to the end.
FINIS PROLOGI.
NEW CUSTOM
ACTUS I., SCÆNA 1.
PERVERSE DOCTRINE _and_ IGNORANCE _enter_.
PERV. DOC. It is even so indeed, the world was never in so evil a
state;
But this is no time for us of these matters to debate.
It were good we invented some politic way
Our matters to address in good orderly stay.
And for us reason would we looked to ourselves.
Do you not see how these new-fangled prattling elves
Prink up so pertly of late in every place,
And go about us ancients flatly to deface?
As who should say in short time, as well learned as we,
As wise to the world, as good they might accounted be,
Nay, nay, if many years and grey hairs do know no more,
But that every peevish boy hath even as much wit in store:
By the mass, then, have I lived too long, and I would I were dead,
If I have not more knowledge than a thousand of them in my head,
For how should they have learning that were born but even now?
As fit a sight it were to see a goose shod or a saddled cow,
As to hear the prattling of any such Jack Straw.
For, when he hath all done, I count him but a very daw.
As in London not long since, you wot well where,
They rang to a sermon, and we chanced to be there.
Up stert the preacher, I think not past twenty years old,
With a sounding voice and audacity bold,
And began to revile at the holy sacrament and transubstantiation:
I never heard one knave or other make such a declaration.
But, if I had had the boy in a convenient place,
With a good rod or twain, not past one hour's space.
I would so have scourged my merchant,[3] that his breech should ache,
So long as it is since that he those words spake.
What, young men to be meddlers in divinity? it is a goodly sight!
Yet therein now almost is every boy's delight,
No book now in their hands, but all scripture, scripture:
Either the whole Bible or the New Testament, you may be sure.
The New Testament for them? and then too for Coll my dog![4]
This is the old proverb--to cast pearls to an hog.
Give them that which is meet for them, a racket and a ball,
Or some other trifle to busy their heads withal:
Playing at quoits or nine-holes,[5] or shooting at butts,
There let them be, a God's name, till their hearts ache and their guts!
Let us alone with divinity, which are of riper age.
Youth is rash, they say, but old men hath the knowledge.
For while they read they know not what, they omit the verity,
And that is now the cause so many fall into heresy,
Every man hath his own way, some that and some this,
It would almost for anger (sir reverence![6]) make a man to piss,
To hear what they talk of in open communication,
Surely I fear me, Ignorance, this gear will make some desolation.
IGNORANCE. I fear the same also; but as touching that whereof you
speak full well,
They have revoked divers old heresies out of hell.
As against transubstantiation, purgatory, and the mass,
And say that by scripture they cannot be brought to pass.
But that which ever hath been a most true and constant opinion,
And defended also hitherto by all of our religion,
That I, Ignorance, am the mother of true devotion,
And Knowledge the author of the contrary affection:
They deny it so stoutly as though it were not so;
But this hath been believed many an hundred year ago.
Wherefore it grieveth me not a little that my case should so stand,
Thus to be disproved at every prattler's hand.
PERV. DOC. Yea, doth? then the more unwise man you, as I trow,
For they say as much by me, as you well do know.
And shall I then go vex myself at their talk?
No, let them speak so long as their tongues can walk.
They shall not grieve me, for why in very sooth
It were folly to endeavour to stop every man's mouth.
They have brought in one, a young upstart lad, as it appears,
I am sure he hath not been in the realm very many years,
With a gathered frock, a polled head and a broad hat,
An unshaved beard, a pale face; and he teacheth that
All our doings are nought, and hath been many a day.
He disalloweth our ceremonies and rites, and teacheth another way
To serve God, than that which we do use,
And goeth about the people's minds to seduce.
It is a pestilent knave, he will have priests no corner-cap to wear;[7]
Surplices are superstition: beads, paxes, and such other gear,
Crosses, bells, candles, oil, bran, salt, spettle, and incense,
With censing and singing, he accounts not worth three-halfpence,
And cries out on them all (if to repeat them I wist)
Such holy things, wherein our religion doth consist.
But he commands the service in English to be read,
And for the Holy Legend[8] the Bible to put in his stead,
Every man to look thereon at his list and pleasure,
Every man to study divinity at his convenient leisure,
With a thousand new guises more you know as well as I.
And to term him by his right name, if I should not lie,
It is New Custom, for so they do him call,
Both our sister Hypocrisy, Superstition, Idolatry and all.
And truly me-thinketh, they do justly and wisely therein,
Since he is so diverse, and so lately crept in.
IGNORANCE. So they call him indeed, you have said right well,
Because he came newly from the devil of hell,
New Custom, quoth you? now a vengeance of his new nose,
For bringing in any such unaccustomed glose!
For he hath seduced the people by mighty great flocks:
Body of God, it were good to set the knave in the stocks.
Or else to whip him for an example to all rogues as he,
How they the authors of new heresies be,
Or henceforth do attempt any such strange devise:
Let him keep himself from my hands, if he be wise.
If ever I may take him within my reign,
He is sure to have whipping there for his pain.
For he doth much harm in each place throughout the land.
Wherefore, Perverse Doctrine, here needeth your hand:
I mean that ye be diligent in any case,
If ye fortune to come, where New Custom is in place,
So to use the villain, you know what I mean,
That in all points you may discredit him clean;
And when he begins of anything for to clatter,
Of any controversy of learning or divinity matter,
So to cling fast unto every man's thought,
That his words may seem heresy, and his doings but nought.
PERV. DOC. Tush, let me alone with that, for I have not so little wit,
But I have practised this already, and mind also to do it.
Yet a further device I have, I think, not amiss.
Hearken to me, Ignorance, for the matter is this:
For the better accomplishing our subtlety pretended,[9]
It were expedient that both our names were amended;
Ignorance shall be Simplicity, for that comes very nigh;
And for Perverse Doctrine I will be called Sound Doctrine, I.
And now that we are both in such sort named,
We may go in any place, and never be blamed.
See then you remember your name, sir Simplicity,
And me at every word Sound Doctrine to be;
Beware of tripping, but look in mind that you bear
Your feigned name, and what before you were.
But who is this that hitherward doth walk?
Let us stand still, to hear what he will talk.
ACTUS I., SCÆNA 2.
NEW CUSTOM _entereth alone._
NEW CUS. When I consider the ancient times before,
That have been these eight hundred years and more,
And those confer with these our later days,
My mind do these displease a thousand ways.
For sure he, that hath both perceived aright,
Will say they differ as darkness doth from light.
For then plain-dealing bare away the prize;
All things were ruled by men of good advice;
Conscience prevailed much, even everywhere;
No man deceived his neighbour and eke a thing full rare
It was to find a man you might not trust;
But look what once they promised, they did that well and just.
If neighbours were at variance, they ran not straight to law:
Daysmen[10] took up the matter, and cost them not a straw,
Such delight they had to kill debate and strife;
And surely even in those days was there more godlier life.
Howbeit men of all ages are wonted to dispraise
The wickedness of time that flourished at their days.
As well he may discern, who for that but lightly looks,
In every leaf almost of all their books.
For as for Christ our master, what he thought of Jews,
And after him th' apostles, I think it is no news.
PERV. DOC. Hark, Simplicity, he is some preacher, I will lay my gown;
He mindeth to make a sermon within this town.
He speaketh honestly yet; but surely, if he rail at me,
I may not abide him, by the mass, I promise thee.
NEW CUS. Paul to the Corinthians plainly doth tell,
That their behaviour pleased him not well.
All our forefathers likewise have been offended
With divers faults at their time, that might have been amended.
The doctors of the church great fault they did find,
In that men lived not after their mind:
First with the rulers as examples of sin,
Then with the people as continuing therein:
So that of them both this one thing they thought,
That the people was not good, but the rulers were nought.
But in comparison of this time of misery,
In those days men lived in perfect felicity.
Saint Paul prophesied that worse times should ensue,
_In novissimis venient quidam_, saith he, this is true,
Following all mischief, ungodliness and evil,
Leaning to all wickedness and doctrine of the devil;
And spake he not of these days, think you, I pray?
The proof is so plain that no man can denay:
For this is sure, that never in any age before
Naughtiness and sin hath been practised more,
Or half so much, or at all, in respect so I say,
And is now (God amend all) at this present day:
Sin now no sin, faults no faults a whit:
O God, seest thou this, and yet wilt suffer it?
Surely thy mercy is great; but yet our sins, I fear,
Are so great, that of justice with them thou canst not bear.
Adultery no vice, it is a thing so rife,
A stale jest now to lie with another man's wife!
For what is that but dalliance? Covetousness they call
Good husbandry, when one man would fain have all.
And eke alike to that is unmerciful extortion,
A sin in sight of God of great abhomination:
For pride, that is now a grace; for round about
The humble-spirited is termed a fool or a lout.
Whoso will be so drunken, that he scarcely knoweth his way,
O, he is a good fellow, so now-a-days they say.
Gluttony is hospitality, while they meat and drink spill,
Which would relieve diverse whom famine doth kill.
As for all charitable deeds, they be gone, God know'th;
Some pretend lack, but the chief cause is sloth:
A vice most outrageous of all others sure,
Right hateful to God, and contrary to nature.
Scarce blood is punished but even for very shame,
So make they of murther but a trifling game.
O, how many examples of that horrible vice
Do daily among us now spring and arise!
But thanks be to God that such rulers doth send,
Which earnestly study that fault to amend:
As by the sharp punishment of that wicked crime
We may see that committed was but of late time.
God direct their hearts they may always continue
Such just execution on sin to ensue;
So shall be saved the life of many a man,
And God will withdraw his sore plagues from us then.
Theft is but policy, perjury but a face,
Such is now the world, so far men be from grace.
But what shall I say of religion and knowledge
Of God, which hath been indifferent in each age
Before this? howbeit his faults then it had,
And in some points then was culpable and bad.
Surely this one thing I may say aright:
God hath rejected us away from him quite,
And given us up wholly unto our own thought,
Utterly to destroy us, and bring us to nought:
For do they not follow the inventions of men?
Look on the primitive church, and tell me then,
Whether they served God in this same wise,
Or whether they followed any other guise?
For since God's fear decayed, and hypocrisy crept in,
In hope of some gains and lucre to win,
Cruelty bare a stroke, who with fagot and fire
Brought all things to pass that he did desire.
Next avarice spilt all, which, lest it should be spied,
Hypocrisy ensued the matter to hide.
Then brought they in their monsters, their masses, their light,
Their torches at noon to darken our sight:
Their popes and their pardons, their purgatories for souls:
Their smoking of the church and flinging of coals.
IGNORANCE. Stay yet a while, and let us hear more communication.
PERV. DOC. I cannot, by God's soul, if I might have all this nation.
Shall I suffer a knave thus to rail and prate?
Nay then, I pray God, the devil break my pate!
I will be revenged, ere he depart away--
Ah, sirrah, you have made a fair speak here to-day,
Do you look for any reward for your deed?
It were good to beat thee, till thy head bleed,
Or to scourge thee well-favouredly at a cart's tail,
To teach such an whoreson to blaspheme and rail
At such holy mysteries and matters so high,
As thou speakest of now, and rail'dst at so lately!
NEW CUS. What mean ye, sir, or to whom do you speak?
Art you minded on me your anger to wreak,
Which have not offended, as far as I know?
PERV. DOC. I speak to thee, knave; thou art mad, I trow.
What meanest thou to rail right now so contemptuously
At the chiefest secrets of all divinity?
NEW CUS. Verily I railed not, so far as I can tell,
I spake but advisedly, I know very well;
For I will stand to it, whatsoever I said.
PERV. DOC. Wilt thou so? but I will make thee well apaid,[11]
To recant thy words, I hold thee a pound,
Before thou depart hence out of this ground.
NEW CUS. No, that shall you not do, if I die therefore.
PERV. DOC. Thou shalt see anon, go to, prattle no more,
But tell me the effect of the words which were said.
NEW CUS. To recite them again, I am not afraid:
I said that the mass, and such trumpery as that,
Popery, purgatory, pardons, were flat
Against God's word and primitive constitution,
Crept in through covetousness and superstition
Of late years, through blindness, and men of no knowledge;
Even such as have been in every age.
PERV. DOC. Now, precious whoreson, thou hast made a lie;
How canst thou prove that, tell me by and by.
NEW CUS. It needeth small proof; the effect doth appear.
Neither this is any place for to argue here.
And, as for my saying, I hold the negative:
It lieth you upon to prove the affirmative;
To show that such things were used in antiquity,
And then I can easily prove you the contrary.
PERV. DOC. Standest thou with me on school points? dost thou so indeed?
Thou hadst best to prove me whether I can read;
Thinkest thou I have no logic, indeed thinkest thou so?
Yes, prinkocks, that I have; for forty years ago
I could smatter in a Duns[12] prettily, I do not jest;
Better I am sure than a hundred of you, whosoever is the best.
NEW CUS. Truly I believe you, for in such fond books
You spent idly your time and wearied your looks:
More better it had been in books of holy scripture,
Where as virtue is expressed, and religion pure,
To have passed your youth, as the Bible and such,
Than in these trifles to have dolted so much;
Not more to have regarded a Duns or a Questionist,
Than you would the words of the holy evangelist.
PERV. DOC. What, for a child to meddle with the Bible?
NEW CUS. Yea, sure, more better than so to be idle.
PERV. DOC. Is study then idleness? that is a new term.
NEW CUS. They say better to be idle than to do harm.
PERV. DOC. What harm doth knowledge? I pray thee, tell me.
NEW CUS. Knowledge puffeth up, in Saint Paul you may see.
PERV. DOC. Yea, but what knowledge meaneth he? tell me that.
NEW CUS. Even such knowledge as ye profess flat;
For the truth and the gospel you have in contempt,
And follow such toys as yourselves do invent:
Forsaking God's laws and the apostle's institution
In all your proceedings and matters of religion.
PERV. DOC. By what speakest thou that, let me hear thy judgment?
NEW CUS. Not by any guess, but by that which is evident.
As for the scriptures, you have abolished clean;
New fashions you have constitute in religion; again,
Abuse of the sacraments than hath been to-fore,
Have you brought, and in number have you made them more
Than Christ ever made: wherefore show your auctority,
Or else have you done to the church great injury.
Th' apostles never taught your transubstantiation
Of bread into flesh, or any such fashion;
Howbeit they were conversant every day and hour,
And received that sacrament of Christ our Saviour.
You feign also that Peter was bishop of Rome,
And that he first instituted the seat of your Popedom:
But, perverse nation, how dare you for shame
Your fancies on Christ and th' apostles to frame?
PERV. DOC. Marry, avaunt, Jack-sauce and prattling knave,
I will conjure thy coat, if thou leave not to rave.
With all my heart and a vengeance, come up and be nought:
I see we shall have an heretic of thee, as I thought.
These things were approved, ere thou wast born, dost thou not see?
And shall be, when thou art hanged, I warrant thee.
NEW CUS. Ere I was born! nay, sure that is not true,
For in comparison of me they be but new.
PERV. DOC. Of thee! ha, ha, ha! what, of thee! thou art mad.
NEW CUS. Surely in my sort I am both sober and sad.[13]
PERV. DOC. Why, how old art thou? tell me, I pray thee heartily.
NEW CUS. Elder than you, I perceive.
PERV. DOC. What, older than I!
The young knave, by the mass, not fully thirty,
Would be elder than I, that am above sixty!
NEW CUS. A thousand and a half, that surely is my age:
Ask and inquire of all men of knowledge.
PERV. DOC. A thousand years? God's precious soul, I am out of my wits;
He is possessed of some devil or of some evil sp'rits.
Why, thou art a young knave of that sort, I say,
That brought into this realm but the other day
This new learning and these heresies, and such other things mo,
With strange guises invented not long ago.[14]
And I pray thee tell me, is not thy name New Custom?
NEW CUS. Truly so I am called of some,
As of such as want both wit and understanding,
As you do now, I know by your talking:
But woe be to those that make no distinction
Between many things of diverse condition;
As naught to be good, and hot to be cold,
And old to be new, and new to be old.
Wherefore these deceits you daily invent,
The people to seduce unto your advertisement,
While with tales you assay, and with lies you begin,
The truth to deface, and your credit to win.
PERV. DOC. What is thy name, then? I pray thee make declaration.
NEW CUS. In faith, my name is Primitive Constitution.
PERV. DOC. Who? who, _Prava Constitutio_? even so I thought,
I wist that it was some such thing of nought.[15]
Like lettuce,[16] like lips; a scabb'd horse for a scald squire.
NEW CUS. _Primitive Constitution_ I said, if you hear,
Such orders as in the primitive church heretofore
Were used, but not now, the more pity therefore.
PERV. DOC. Ha, ha! in good time, sir, well might you fare, Primitive
Constitution,
That is your true name, you say, without all delusion.
Primitive Constitution (quodestow[17]) as much as my sleeve!
The devil on him which will such liars believe!
For my part, if I credit such an hairy nowl,[18]
The foul fiend of hell fetch me, body and soul!
NEW CUS. Truth cannot prevail, where Ignorance is in place.
IGNORANCE. Peace, or I will lay my beads on thy face:
Hast thou nothing to rail at but Ignorance, I trow?
NEW CUS. You may use me even at your pleasure, I know;
For Perverse Doctrine, that is rooted so fast,
That it may not be changed at no heavenly blast,
May not hear the contrary, but beginneth to kick,
Like a jade when he feeleth the spur for to prick.
PERV. DOC. Yea! say'st thou so, thou miscreant villain?
A little thing would make me knock out thy brain:
Hence out of my sight away, packing, trudge!
Thou detestable heretic, thou caitiff, thou drudge;
If I may take thee, it were as good thou were dead,
For even with this portace[19] I will batter thy head.
[_Exit New Custom._
Though I hang therefore, I care not, I,
So I be revenged on a slave, ere I die.
Sacrament of God! who hath heard such a knave?
Who, after he had done at Ignorance to rave,
Perverse Doctrine (quod he) is also rooted so fast,
That he may be changed by no heavenly blast.
No, God's soul, I warrant him, I will see him rotten,
Before that my doctrine I shall have forgotten:
Wherefore it behoveth us some counsel to take,
How we the stronger our matters may make,
Against the surprise of this new invasion,
Begun of late by this strange generation,
Of New Custom and his makes;[20] meaning to deface
Our ancient rites and religion, and to place
Their devilish doctrine the Gospel, and so
Our gains to debate, and ourselves to undo.
I think it best therefore that our sister Hypocrisy
Do understand fully of this matter by and by.
Let us go and seek her, the case for to show,
That we her good counsel may speedily know.
IGNORANCE. I am ready; in following I will not be slow.
[_Exeunt._
FOOTNOTES:
[1] A cheating bully, so called in several Acts of Parliament during
the reign of King Henry the Eighth.--_S._
[2] A common proverb, of which there are varying versions; but the
original is _quot homines_, &c.
[3] _Merchant_ was anciently used as we now use the word _chap_. See
note on "Romeo and Juliet," A. 2, S. 4.--_Steevens._
[4] _Cowle_ or rather _coll_ [Coll] I suppose to be the name of the
dog.--_Steevens._
_Cowle my dog_, I am inclined to believe, means _put a cowl or hood
on a dog_, and he will be as learned as a friar: the contempt into
which the order had at this period fallen will at least countenance
the explanation, if it should not be thought sufficient to prove it. I
once was of opinion, that there might be an allusion to the case of
one Collins, a crazy man, who seeing a priest hold up the host over
his head, lifted up a dog in the same manner, for which both he and
the animal were burnt in 1538. See Fox, vol. ii. 436.
My conjecture requires a little explanation. The speaker means to say,
"If the New Testament is fit for the use of boys, so likewise is it
adapted equally to the conception of _Coll my dog_. The one will
understand and make a proper use of it as soon as the
other."--_Steevens._ [What will be thought of the preceding note, I
hardly know; the text is the clearer.]
[5] By the Stat. 33 Hen. VIII. c. 9, s. 16, a penalty is imposed on
certain persons therein mentioned, who should play at the tables,
tennis, dice, cards, bowls, clash, _coyting_, logating, or other
unlawful game.
[6] Perhaps a contraction of _save your reverence_.--_Steevens._
[7] Fox, in the third volume of his "Acts and Monuments," p. 131,
says: "Over and besides divers other things touching M. Rogers, this
is not to be forgotten, how, in the daies of King Edward the Sixth,
there was a controversie among the Bishops and Clergie _for wearing of
priests caps_, and other attyre belonging to that order. Master
Rogers, being one of that number which never went otherwise than in _a
round cap_ during all the time of King Edward, affirmed that he would
not agree to that decreement of uniformitie, but upon this condition,
that if they would needs have such an uniformitie of wearing the cap,
tippet, &c., then it should be decreed withall, that the papists, for
a difference betwixt them and others, should be constrained to weare
upon their sleeves a chalice with an host upon it. Whereunto if they
would consent, he would agree to the other, otherwise he would not, he
said, consent to the setting forth of the same, nor ever weare _the
cap_; nor indeed he never did."
[8] I suppose the "Legenda Aurea," the "Golden Legend" of Jacobus de
Voragine.--_Steevens._
[9] [Intended.]
[10] _i.e._, Umpires. So Spenser--
"For what art thou
That makst thyself his _daysman_, to prolong
The vengeance past?"--_Faerie Queene._--_S._
A _days-man_, says Ray, in his "Collection of North Country Words," p.
25, is "an arbitrator, an umpire or judge. For, as Dr Hammond observes
in his Annotation on Heb. x. 25, p. 752, the word _day_, in all
languages and idioms, signifies judgment. So _man's day_, 1 Cor. iii.
13, is the judgment of men. So _diem dicere_ in Latin is to implead."
[11] Well content. In Psalm lxxxiii. ver. 8, we have--
"And Assur eke is well _apaid_,
With them in league to be."
[12] _i.e._, in the theological writings of _Duns Scotus_, who
obtained the title of _Doctor Subtilis_.--_S._ See also note 25 to
"The Revenger's Tragedy."
[13] [Serious.]
[14] The original copy reads--
"With strange guises invented _now_ long agoe."
But the sense seems to require the negative, which former editors
substituted for _now_.--_C._
[15] So in _Hamlet_: "The king is _a thing of nothing_." See the Notes
of Dr Johnson, Dr Farmer, and Mr Steevens on that passage, edition of
Shakspeare, 1778, vol. 10, p. 336. This play on the words was very
common.
Again, in "The Humorous Lieutenant," A. iv. S. 6--
"Shall, then, that thing that honours thee
How miserable a thing soever, yet a thing still,
And, tho' _a thing of nothing_, thy thing ever."
[Dyce's edit. vi. 516.]
[16] "_Similes habent labra lactucas._ A thistle is a sallet fit for
an ass's mouth. We use when we would signify that things happen to
people which are suitable to them, or which they deserve; as when a
dull scholar happens to a stupid or ignorant master, a froward wife to
a peevish husband, &c. _Dignum patella operculum._ Like priest, like
people, and on the contrary. These proverbs are always taken in the
worst sense. _Tal carne, tal cultello_, Ital. Like flesh, like knife."
[See Hazlitt's "Proverbs," &c., 1869, pp. 33, 263.]
[17] [_i.e._, _Quodest thou_, or saidest thou.]
[18] [Old copy and Dodsley, _mowle_. A hairy nowl is a member of the
reformed faith, as distinguished from the shaven crowns of the
priests.]
[19] Sometimes written _portas_, or _portos_, _i.e._, _breviary_--Du
Cange, in _Portiforium_. "_Portuasses_, Mr Tyrwhitt observes (Notes on
Chaucer, ver. 13061), are mentioned among other prohibited books in
the Stat. 3 and 4 Edw. VI. c. 10. And in the Parliament Roll of 7,
Edw. IV. n. 40, there is a petition, that the robbing of Porteous,
Grayell, Manuell, &c., should be made felonie without clergy; to which
the King answered, _La Roy s'avisera_."
The _portuse_ is mentioned in Greene's "History of Fryer Bacon and
Fryer Bungay." [Works by Dyce, 1861, p. 162--]
"I'll hamper up the match,
I'll take my _portace_ forth, and wed you here."
[20] _Make_ is used for _mate_ throughout the works of Gower.
Shakspeare likewise, if I am not mistaken, employs it in one of his
sonnets.--_S._
ACTUS II., SCENA 1.
LIGHT OF THE GOSPEL _and_ NEW CUSTOM _enter._
L. OF GOSPEL. Doubt you nothing at all, for God will so provide,
Who leaveth not his elect to defend and to guide;
That wherever I come, such grace you may find,
As shall in each point content well your mind,
And admit that they call you New Custom, what then?
Attribute that folly to the ignorance of men,
That follow their fancies, and know not the right
Well, you know where I come once, the Light
Of the Gospel, whose beams do glister so clear,
Then, Primitive Constitution, in each place you appear;
And as elsewhere you have been, so do not mistrust,
But in this place hereafter be received you must.
NEW CUS. According to your nature, so do you very well
To put me in good hope, bright Light of the Gospel.
And seeing you be true, I may in no wise
Misdeem you the father or author of lies:
For if trust to the gospel do purchase perpetuance
Of life unto him, who therein hath confidence,
What shall the light do, whose beams be so bright,
That in each respect all things else of light
Are but very darkness, and eke terrestrial?
So the Light of the Gospel overshineth them all.
Wherefore with great comfort I receive your counsel,
With hearty thanks unto you, the Light of the Gospel.
L. OF GOSPEL. Do so, and by faith then shall you obtain
Whatsoever you desire, the scripture saith plain:
For _quicquid petieritis in nomine meo_,
It must of truth needs be understood so:
That without faith, whatsoever we fortune to crave,
We may not look for it our desire to have.
Faith moveth mountains, so it be pure faith indeed;
By faith we obtain whatsoever we need.
Then faith shall restore to you more things than this,
Believe me, Primitive Constitution, whatsoever is amiss.
But where be those reprobates, devoid of all grace,
Who lately misused you, as you said, in this place?
NEW CUS. They be suddenly departed, I wot not well whither;
For I left them right now both here together.
They cannot be far hence, I know very well,
Where they be, there is none, if we ask, but can tell.
L. OF GOSPEL. Do you know them again, if you meet them aright?
NEW CUS. Yea, sir, that I do, even at the first sight.
L. OF GOSPEL. Then let us not tarry, but go seek them straight.
NEW CUS. At hand I am ready on you for to wait. [_Exeunt._
ACTUS II., SCENA 2.
HYPOCRISY, PERVERSE DOCTRINE, _and_ IGNORANCE _enter._
HYPOCRISY. Perverse Doctrine, I say, take heed in any sort.
That thou never believe whatsoever they report,
Though they of the Gospel never so much do preach,
Every man will not credit whatsoever they teach.
They will not say, _all believe_, when they do not, I promise thee:
For that time will never come in this world, trust me.
Tush, tush, be thou busied in any case
To discredit their preaching in every place.
If they teach them one thing, then teach thou the contrary;
And if that no scripture for thy place thou have ready,
In words that supply, which wanteth in reason,
For ill things applied sometime in good season,
As of better eftsoons do import the weight,
So they be well ordered by good policy and sleight.
Howbeit their doctrine be sound, yet their vices find out,
As this is a sloven, or this is a lout:
He speaketh on envy, such a one for need;
This saith it in words, but he thinketh it not in deed.
Upon greater occasion they stick not to rave,
Saying, this is a whoremaster villain, he, an heretic knave,
An extortioner, a thief, a traitor, a murtherer,
A covetous person, a common usurer.
This he doth for my mistress his wife's sake, by the rood,
The better to maintain and support the French hood.[21]
Remember also, that it were a great shame
For thee for to have forgotten thy own name.
Perverse Doctrine, of right, must the truth so pervert,
That he never let it sink into any man's heart:
As far as he can, with diligence withstand,
For ever it behoveth thee to be ready at hand,
To strengthen thine own parts, and disprove other doctrine,
Whatsoever shall be taught that is contrary to thine:
Still pretend religion, whatsoever you say,
And that shall get thee good credit alway,
Pleasing the multitude with such kind of gear,[22]
As with them, to the which most inclined they are.
Square caps, long gowns, with tippets of silk,
Brave copes in the church, surplices as white as milk,
Beads, and such like: all these bear the price.
To these things apply thy attendant device:
And other likewise, which well you do know,
Which all of great holiness do set forth a show.
Though some of them, doubtless, be indifferent, what matter!
They furnish our business never the latter.
For these, of antiquity since that they do smell,
Our cause must commend right wonderful well:
And these be the things whereof thou hast need,
The better of thy will and purpose to speed.
Then give thy attendance, and so be sure of this:
That I will be ready and never will miss
To assist thee still in working thy purpose,
To th' advancing of thee, and depressing thy foes.
PERV. DOC. Gramercy, good sister, even with all my heart,
For this your good counsel; and for my part,
Whatsoever in this case may be possibly done,
I shall follow your precepts as a natural son.
For the matter so stands, if we look not well about,
That we quite perish all out of doubt,
Unless some such way we take out of hand,
Whereby we may be able our foes to withstand.
And for this cause my brother Ignorance and I,
Lest it should chance us to fall into jeopardy,
Through envy of our names in any man's ear:
For this intent, I say, we did diligently care
Our names to counterfeit in such manner of sort,
That wherever we go we may win good report.
HYPOCRISY. Of my faith, that is very well done indeed!
God send thee a good wit still at thy need.
And that in thy doings such success thou may'st find,
That all things may chance to thee after thy mind.
My brother, if thou have ought else for to say,
Speak on, ere that I depart hence away.
PERV. DOC. Great thanks for your counsel, and if ye chance
to go thither,
You may meet with Ignorance, to hasten him hither.
HYPOCRISY. Farewell: he shall be here, you shall see, even anon.
[_Exit._
PERV. DOC. Alack, alack, now my good sister is gone,
Whose presence to enjoy is more pleasant unto me,
That any thing whatsoever in the world could be.
Good occasion have I such a sister to embrace,
For by her means I live and enjoy this place,
Which yet I possess as long as I may,
And have heretofore many a fair day.
For since these new heretics, the devil take them all,
In all corners began to bark and to bawl
At the Catholic faith and the old religion,
Making of them both but matters of derision;
Hypocrisy hath so helped at every need,
That but for her hardly were we like for to speed.
For be our case never so nigh driven to the worst,
Though her means by some means take no place at the first:
Yet some means doth she find, by some means at the length,
That her ways do prevail, and her matters get strength.
She can find out a thousand guiles in a trice,
For every purpose a new strong device.
No matter so difficile for man to find out,
No business so dangerous, no person so stout,
But of th' one she is able a solution to make,
And th' other's great peril and mood for to slake.
And in fine, much matter in few words to contain,
She can find out a cloak for every rain.[23]
What person is there, that beareth more sway
In all manner of matters at this present day
Throughout the whole world, though of simple degree,
And of small power to sight she seem for to be?
Consider all trades and conditions of life,
Then shall you perceive that Hypocrisy is rife
To all kind of men and of every age,
So far as their years them therein may give knowledge:
Lo, here a large field, where at length he may walk,
Who list of this matter at the full for to talk.
To declare of what power and of what efficacy,
In every age, country and time is Hypocrisy.
But I may not about such small points now stand:
The affairs they be greater, that I have in hand.
Ignorance is the cause that I so long tarry here,
And behold where the blind buzzard doth appear.
Come on, thou gross-headed knave, thou whoreson ass, I say,
Where hast thou been, since we departed to-day?
_Enter_ IGNORANCE.
IGNORANCE. Where have I been, quod you? marry, even there I was,
Whereas I would have given an hundred pound, by the mass,
To have been here; for never, since the day I was born,
Was I so near-hand in pieces for to have been torn.
For as I was going up and down in the street,
To see if I could with Hypocrisy meet,
Behold, afar off I began to espy
That heretic New Custom, with another in his company.
As soon as they saw me, they hied them apace,
Came towards, and met me full in the face.
I am glad we have found you then, quod this heretic knave,
For you and your fellow this day sought we have
In every place, and now cannot you fly;
And with these words both they came very nigh.
Whereat I so feared, I may tell you plain,
That I thought at that hour I should have been slain.
This is he, quod the varlet, of whom I told you of late,
An enemy of the truth, and incensed with hate
Against God and his church, and an imp of Hypocrisy,
A foe to the gospel and to true divinity.
Thou liest, heretic, quod I, and nought else could I say,
But brake quickly from them, and hither came away.
PERV. DOC. Who is he that was with him, Simplicity, canst
thou tell?
IGNORANCE. Not I, sure, but some call him the Light of the
Gospel.
A good personable fellow, and in countenance so bright,
That I could not behold him in the visage aright.
PERV. DOC. God's precious wounds, that slave! marry, fie on
him, fie!
Body of our Lord, is he come into the country?
I think all the heretics in the world have taken in hand
By some solemn oath to pester this land,
With their wicked schisms and abhominable sects,
Now a vengeance on them all, and the devil break their necks!
Light of the Gospel! light of a straw! yet whatever he be,
I would he were hanged as high as I can see.
IGNORANCE. What, have you heard of him before this?
PERV. DOC. Heard of him? yea, that have I often, i-wis.
If there be any in the world, it is this whoreson thief,
Believe me, Simplicity, that will work us the mischief.
Hath that same new Jack got him such a mate?
Now with all my heart a pestilence on his pate!
I would they were both hanged fairly together,
Or else were at the devil, I care not much whether.
For since these Genevan doctors came so fast into this land,
Since that time it was never merry with England.
First came New Custom, and he gave the onsay.[24]
And sithens things have gone worse every day.
But, Simplicity, dost thou know what is mine intent?
IGNORANCE. Tell me, and I shall know what you have meant.
PERV. DOC. Our matters with Cruelty our friend to discuss,
And to hear him, what counsel in this case he will give us;
And this is the cause I have tarried for thee,
Because that to him I would have thee go with me,
But see where he cometh with Avarice sadly walking,
Let us listen, if we can, whereof they be talking.
ACTUS II., SCENA 3.
CRUELTY, AVARICE _enter_. PERVERSE DOCTRINE _and_ IGNORANCE _tarry_.
CRUELTY. Nay, by God's heart, if I might do what I list,
Not one of them all that should 'scape my fist.
His nails,[25] I would plague them one way or another.
I would not miss him, no, if he were mine own brother.
With small faults I might bear as I saw occasion,
And punish or forgive at mine own discretion,
For I wot that sometime the wisest may fall;
But heresy--fie on that, that is the greatest of all.
Every stocks should be full, every prison and jail:
Some would I beat with rods, some scourge at a cart's tail,
Some hoise their heels upward, some beat in a sack,
Some manacle their fingers, some bind in the rack.
Some would I starve for hunger, some would I hang privily,
Saying, that themselves so died desperately.
Some would I accuse of matters of great weight,
Openly to hang them as trespassers straight.
A thousand mo ways could I tell, and not miss,
Which here in England, I may say to you, I have practised ere this,
And trust, by His wounds, Avarice, soon again for to try,
Howsoever the world go, before that I die.
AVARICE. Now I will tell thee, Cruelty, by God's sacrament
I have swore,
It were pity but thou were hanged before.
CRUELTY. Ha, ha, ha; I had as lief they were hanged as I.
By the mass, there is one thing makes me laugh heartily, ha, ha, ha.
AVARICE. I pray thee what is that?
CRUELTY. What? ha, ha, ha; I cannot tell for
laughing, I would never better pastime desire,
Than to hear a dozen of them howling together in the fire;
Whose noise, as me-thinketh, I could best compare
To a cry of hounds following after the hare,
Or a rabblement of bandogs barking at a bear;
Ha, ha, ha.
AVARICE. I beshrew thy knave's fingers with my very heart,
The devil will reward thee, whose darling thou art.
But sirrah, I pray thee--
If it had chanced me in those days in thy hands to have fell,
I think sure thou wouldst have ordered me well.
CRUELTY. His blood, I would I might have once seen that chance,
I would have vexed thee with a vengeance, for old acquaintance.
AVARICE. Why so? I was always thy furderer in those days,
I am sure.
CRUELTY. Yea, but what was the cause? thine own profit to procure.
For so that thou mightest 'vantage and lucre obtain,
Thou wouldest not stick to bring thine own brother to pain.
AVARICE. Ha, ha, ha; no, nor father and mother, if there were
ought to be got,
Thou mightest swear, if I could, I would bring them to the pot.
Whereof a like history I shall tell thee, Cruelty,
In England, which myself played in the days of queen Mary.[26]
Two brothers there were dwelling, young gentlemen; but the heir
Had substantial revenues, his stock also was fair;
A man of good conscience, and studious of the Gospel.
Which the other brother perceiving very well,
Persuaded him by all means, since he was so bent,
To be constant in opinion, and not to relent,
Which done, he gave notice to the officers about,
How they should come with search to find his brother out;
Who, when he was once in this sort apprehended,
Shortly after his life in the fire he ended.
The other had the most part of all his living--
How say'st, sir knave? is not this the near way to thriving?
CRUELTY. O unreasonable Avarice, unsatiable with gain.
AVARICE. What [of] this?[27] tush, it was but a merry train.
CRUELTY. For lucre's sake his own brother to betray?
Hence, Judas, with these doings I cannot away.[28]
AVARICE. I was ever with him, still ready at hand,
Continually suggesting of the house and the land.
And yet to tell you the truth, as indeed the thing is,
Of my conscience I think the best part was his.
CRUELTY. By God's glorious wounds, he was worthy of none;
But thou to be whipped for thy greedy suggestion.
AVARICE. Heart of God, man, be the means better or worse,
I pass not, I, so it be good for the purse.
Ha, ha, ha!
_Enter from behind_ PERVERSE, DOCTRINE _and_ IGNORANCE.
PERV. DOC. If you love the purse so well, Avarice, as you say indeed,
Then help me with your counsel now at a need.
AVARICE. What, Perverse Doctrine, and Ignorance too, were you
both so near?
We had thought at our coming that no man had been here.
IGNORANCE. We have been in this place ever since that you stayed,
And we have heard also whatsoever you have said.
CRUELTY. Welcome both, on my faith, and I am glad it was our chance
To meet with you here, Perverse Doctrine and Ignorance.
Why, how go'th the world? me-thinks you be sad.
PERV. DOC. Marry, God have mercy, but there is small cause
to be glad:
For except you come speedily with your helping hand,
No doubt we shall shortly be banished the land.
AVARICE. Why so, Perverse Doctrine?
CRUELTY. I pray thee, let me understand.
PERV. DOC. Why so! you know: how, since heresy came lately
in place,
And New Custom, that vile schismatic, began to deface
All our old doings, our service, or rites, that of yore
Have been of great price in the old time before:
Ourselves have been enforced almost for to fly
The country, or else covertly in some corner to lie.
CRUELTY. By the mass, that is true, for I dare not appear,
Whosoever would give me twenty pounds lands by the year.
AVARICE. Ha, ha, ha, by God's foot, and I was never in better
case in my life,
For covetousness with the clergy was never so rife.
Wherefore I have no cause in such sort to be grieved,
Yet I would I could tell, sirs, how you might be relieved.
PERV. DOC. Now, sirrah, to mend up this matter withal:
Precious God, it frets me to the very gall.
For now of late that slave, that varlet, that heretic, Light of the
Gospel,
Is come over the sea, as some credibly tell,
Whom New Custom doth use in all matters as a stay,
The most enemy to us in the world alway;
Whose rancour is such, and so great is his spite,
That no doubt he will straightway banish us quite,
Unless we provide some remedy for the contrary,
And with speed; this is truth that I tell thee, Cruelty.
CRUELTY. His wounds, heart and blood, is he come without
any nay?
IGNORANCE. Yea verily, for with these eyes I saw him to-day.
CRUELTY. Now I would he were here, I would so dress the slave,
That I warrant he should bear me a mark to his grave.
First I would buffet him thus, then give him a fall;
Afterward I would dash out his brains at the wall.
AVARICE. Hold your hands, you rude knave, or by God's body I
swear,
I will quickly fetch my fist from your ear.
PERV. DOC. Tush, tush, it avails nought to chafen, or to chide,
It were more wisdom with speed some redress to provide.
CRUELTY. Redress? now, by God's guts, I will never stay,
Till I find means to rid the beast out of the way.
I will cut him off the slampambs,[29] I hold him a crown,
Wheresoever I meet him, in country or town.
IGNORANCE. What order you will take, it were best make
relation,
For mo wits, as you know, may do better than one.
CRUELTY. I will do then whatsoever shall come in my head,
I force not, I,[30] so the villain were dead.
IGNORANCE. And of my furtherance, whatsoever I may do, you
be sure,
Your good state again, if I can, to procure,
With my uttermost help to suppress yonder rascal,
For, by the mass, you papists I like best of all.