I was born at Shields, and bred to the sea, served my time out of that
port, and got a berth on board a small vessel fitted out from Liverpool
for the slave trade. We made the coast, unstowed our beads, spirits,
and gunpowder, and very soon had a cargo on board; but the day after we
sailed for the Havannah, the dysentery broke out among the niggers--no
wonder, seeing how they were stowed, poor devils, head and tail, like
pilchards in a cask. We opened the hatches, and brought part of them on
deck, but it was of no use, they died like rotten sheep, and we tossed
overboard about thirty a day. Many others, who were alive, jumped
overboard, and we were followed by a shoal of sharks, splashing and
darting, and diving, and tearing the bodies, yet warm, and revelling in
the hot and bloody water. At last they were all gone, and we turned
back to the coast to get a fresh supply. We were within a day's sail of
the land, when we saw two boats on our weather bow; they made signals to
us, and we found them to be full of men; we hove-to, and took them on
board, and then it was that we discovered that they had belonged to a
French schooner, in the same trade, which had started a plank, and had
gone down like a shot, with all the niggers in the hold.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Now, give the old gentleman the small change of that, while I just wet
my whistle."
Mustapha having interpreted, and the sailor having taken a swig at the
bottle, he proceeded.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
We didn't much like having these French beggars on board; and it wasn't
without reason, for they were as many as we were. The very first night
they were overheard by a negro who belonged to us, and had learnt
French, making a plan for overpowering us, and taking possession of the
vessel; so when we heard that, their doom was sealed. We mustered
ourselves on the deck, put the hatches over some o' the French, seized
those on deck, and--in half an hour they all walked a plank.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I do not understand what you mean," said Mustapha.
"That's 'cause you're a lubber of a landsman. The long and short of
walking a plank is just this. We passed a wide plank over the gunnel,
greasing it well at the outer end, led the Frenchmen up to it
blindfolded, and wished them `bon voyage,' in their own lingo, just out
of politeness. They walked on till they toppled into the sea, and the
sharks did'nt refuse them, though they prefer a nigger to any thing
else."
"What does he say, Mustapha?" interrupted the pacha. Mustapha
interpreted.
"Good; I should like to have seen that," replied the pacha.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, as soon as we were rid of the Frenchmen, we made our port, and
soon had another cargo on board, and, after a good run, got safe to the
Havannah, where we sold our slaves; but I did'nt much like the sarvice,
so I cut the schooner, and sailed home in summer, and got back safe to
England. There I fell in with Betsey, and as she proved a regular out
and outer, I spliced her; and a famous wedding we had of it, as long as
the rhino lasted; but that wasn't long, the more's the pity; so I went
to sea for more. When I came back after my trip, I found that Bet
hadn't behaved quite so well as she might have done, so I cut my stick,
and went away from her altogether.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Why didn't you put her in a sack?" inquired the pacha, when Mustapha
explained.
"Put her head in a bag--no, she wasn't so ugly as all that," replied the
sailor. "Howsomever, to coil away."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I joined a privateer brig, and after three cruises I had plenty of
money, and determined to have another spell on shore, that I might get
rid of it. Then I picked up Sue, and spliced again; but, Lord bless
your heart, she turned out a regular built tartar--nothing but fight
fight, scratch scratch, all day long, till I wished her at old Scratch.
I was tired of her, and Sue had taken a fancy to another chap; so says
she one day, "As we both be of the same mind, why don't you sell me, and
then we may part in a respectable manner." I agrees; and I puts a
halter round her neck, and leads her to the market-place, the chap
following to buy her. "Who bids for this woman," says I.
"I do," says he.
"What will you give?"
"Half-a-crown," says he.
"Will you throw a glass of grog into the bargain?"
"Yes," says he.
"Then she's yours; and I wish you much joy of your bargain." So I hands
the rope to him, and he leads her off.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How much do you say he sold his wife for?" said the pacha to Mustapha,
when this part of the story was repeated to him.
"A piastre, and a drink of the fire water," replied the vizier.
"Ask him if she was handsome?" said the pacha.
"Handsome," replied the sailor to Mustapha's inquiry; "yes, she was as
pretty a craft to look at as you may set your eyes upon; fine round
counter--clean run--swelling bows--good figure-head, and hair enough for
a mermaid."
"What does he say?" inquired the pacha.
"The Frank declareth that her eyes were bright as those of the gazelle--
that her eyebrows were as one--her waist as that of the cypress--her
face as the full moon; and that she was fat as the houris that await the
true believers."
"Mashallah! all for a piastre. Ask him, Mustapha, if there are more
wives to be sold in that country?"
"More," replied the sailor in answer to Mustapha; "you may have a ship
full in an hour. There's many a fellow in England who would give a
handful of coin to get rid of his wife."
"We will make further inquiry, Mustapha; it must be looked to. Say I
not well?"
"It is well said," replied Mustapha. "My heart is burnt as roast meat
at the recollection of the women of the country; who are, indeed, as he
hath described, houris to the sight. Proceed, Yaha bibi, my friend, and
tell his--"
"Yaw Bibby! I told you my name was Bill, not Bibby; and I never yaws
from my course, although I heaves-to sometimes, as I do now, to take in
provisions." The sailor took another swig, wiped his mouth with the
back of his hand, and continued. "Now for a good lie."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sailed in a brig for the Brazils, and a gale came on, that I never
seed the like of. We were obliged to have three men stationed to hold
the captain's hair on his head, and a little boy was blown over the
moon, and slid down by two or three of her beams, till he caught the
mainstay, and never hurt himself.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Good," said Mustapha, who interpreted.
"By the beard of the Prophet, wonderful!" exclaimed the pacha.
Well, the gale lasted for a week; and at last one night, when I was at
the helm, we dashed on the rocks of a desolate island. I was pitched
right over the mountains, and fell into the sea on the other side of the
island. I swam on shore, and got into a cave, where I fell fast asleep.
The next morning I found that there was nothing to eat except rats, and
they were plentiful; but they were so quick, that I could not catch
them. I walked about, and at last discovered a great many rats
together; they were at a spring of water; the only one, as I afterwards
found, on the island. Rats can't do without water; and I thought I
should have them there. I filled up the spring, all but a hole which I
sat on the top of. When the rats came again, I filled my mouth with
water, and held it wide open; they ran up to drink, and I caught their
heads in my teeth, and thus I took as many as I wished.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Aferin, excellent!" cried the pacha, as soon as this was explained.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, at last a vessel took me off, and I wasn't sorry for it, for raw
rats are not very good eating. I went home again, and I hadn't been on
shore more than two hours, when who should I see but my first wife, Bet,
with a robin-redbreast in tow. "That's he!" says she. I gave fight,
but was nabbed and put into limbo, to be tried for what they call
_biggery_, or having a wife too much.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How does he mean? desire him to explain," said the pacha, after
Mustapha had conveyed the intelligence. Mustapha obeyed.
"In our country one wife is considered a man's allowance; and he is not
to take more, that every Jack may have his Jill, I had spliced two; so
they tried me, and sent me to Botany Bay for life."
This explanation puzzled the pacha. "How--what sort of a country must
it be, when a man cannot have two wives? Inshallah! please the Lord, we
may have hundreds in our harem! Does he not laugh at our beards with
lies? Is this not all _bosh_, nothing?"
"It is even so, as the Frank speaketh," replied Mustapha. "The king of
the country can take but one wife. Be chesm, on my eyes be it, if it is
not the truth."
"Well," rejoined the pacha, "what are they but infidels? They deserve
to have no more. Houris are for the faithful. May their fathers'
graves be defiled. Let the Giaour proceed."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I was started for the other side of the water, and got there safe
enough, as I hope one day to get to Heaven, wind and weather permitting:
but I had no idea of working without pay, so one fine morning, I slipt
away into the woods, where I remained with three or four more for six
months. We lived upon kangaroos, and another odd little animal, and got
on pretty well.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What may the dish of kangaroos be composed of?" inquired Mustapha, in
obedience to the pacha.
"'Posed of! why a dish of kangaroos be made of kangaroos, to be sure."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
But I'll be dished if I talked about any thing but the animal, which we
had some trouble to kill; for it stands on its big tail, and fights with
all four feet. Moreover, it be otherwise a strange beast; for its young
ones pop out of its stomach, and then pop in again, having a place there
on purpose, just like the great hole in the bow of a timber ship; and as
for the other little animal, it swims in the ponds, lays eggs, and has a
duck's bill, yet still it be covered all over with hair like a beast.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The vizier interrupted. "By the Prophet, but he laughs at our beards!"
exclaimed the pacha, angrily. "These are foolish lies."
"You must not tell the pacha such foolish lies. He will be angry," said
Mustapha. "Tell lies, but they must be good lies."
"Well, I'll be damned," replied the sailor, "if the old beggar don't
doubt the only part which is true out of the whole yarn. Well, I will
try another good un to please him."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
After I had been there about six months I was tired; and as there was
only twenty thousand miles between that country and my own, I determined
to swim back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Mashallah! swim back--how many thousand miles?" exclaimed Mustapha.
"Only twenty thousand--a mere nothing."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
So one fine morning I throws a young kangaroo on my shoulder, and off I
starts. I swam for three months, night and day, and then feeling a
little tired, I laid-to on my back, and then I set off again; but by
this time I was so covered with barnacles, that I made but little way.
So I stopped at Ascension, scraped and cleaned myself, and then, after
feeding for a week on turtle, just to keep the scurvy out of my bones, I
set off again; and as I passed the Gut, I thought I might just as well
put in here; and here I arrived, sure enough, yesterday about three
bells in the morning watch, after a voyage of five months and three
days.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Mustapha translated all this to the pacha, the latter was lost in
astonishment. "Allah wakbar! God is every where! Did you ever hear of
such a swimmer? Twenty thousand miles--five months and three days. It
is a wonderful story! Let his mouth be filled with gold."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mustapha intimated to the sailor the unexpected compliment about to be
conferred on him, just as he had finished the bottle, and rolled it away
on one side. "Well, that be a rum way of paying a man. I have heard it
said that a fellow _pursed_ up his mouth but I never afore heard of a
mouth being a _purse_. Howsomever, all's one for that; only, d'ye see,
if you are about to stow it away in bulk, it may be just as well to get
rid of the dunnage."
The sailor put his thumb and forefinger into the cheek, and pulled out
his enormous quid of tobacco. "There now, I'm ready, and don't be
afraid of choking me." One of the attendants then thrust several pieces
of gold into the sailor's mouth, who spitting them all out into his hat,
jumped on his legs, made a jerk of his head with a kick of the leg
behind to the pacha; and declaring that he was the funniest old beggar
he had ever fallen in with, nodded to Mustapha, and hastened out of the
divan.
"Mashallah! but he swims well," said the pacha, breaking up the
audience.