"Mashallah! God be praised! we are rid of that fellow and his doubts.
I have been thinking, Mustapha, as I smoked the pipe of surmise, and
arrived at the ashes of certainty, that a man who had so many doubts,
could not be a true believer. I wish I had sent him to the mollahs; we
might have been amused with his being impaled, which is a rare object,
now-a-days."
"God is great," replied Mustapha, "and a stake is a strong argument, and
would remove many doubts. But I have an infidel in the court-yard who
telleth of strange things. He hath been caught like a wild beast; it is
a Frank Galiongi, who hath travelled as far as that son of Shitan,
Huckaback; he was found in the streets, overpowered by the forbidden
juice, after having beaten many of your highness's subjects, and the
cadi would have administered the bamboo, but he was as a lion, and he
scattered the slaves as chaff, until he fell, and could not rise again.
I have taken him from the cadi, and brought him here. He speaketh but
the Frankish tongue, but the sun who shineth on me knoweth I have been
in the Frank country; and Inshallah! please the Lord, I can interpret
his meaning."
"What sort of a man may he be, Mustapha?"
"He is a baj baj--a big belly--a stout man; he is an anhunkher, a
swallower of iron. He hath sailed in the war vessels of the Franks. He
holdeth in one hand a bottle of the forbidden liquor, in the other, he
shakes at those who would examine him, a thick stick. He hath a large
handful of the precious weed which we use for our pipes in one of his
cheeks, and his hair is hanging behind, down to his waist, in a rolled
up mass, as thick as the arm of your slave."
"It is well--we will admit him; but let there be armed men at hand. Let
me have a full pipe! God is great," continued the pacha, holding out
his glass to be filled; "and the bottle is nearly empty. Place the
guards, bring in the infidel."
The guards in a few minutes brought into the presence of the pacha, a
stout-built English sailor, in the usual dress, and with a tail which
hung down behind, below his waist. The sailor did not appear to like
his treatment; and every now and then, as they pushed and dragged him
in, turned to one side or the other, looking daggers at those who
conducted him. He was sober, although his eyes bore testimony to recent
intoxication, and his face, which was manly and handsome, was much
disfigured by an enormous quid of tobacco in his right cheek, which gave
him an appearance of natural deformity. As soon as he was near enough
to the pacha, the attendants let him go. Jack shook his jacket, hitched
up his trousers, and said, looking furiously at them, "Well, you
beggars, have you done with me at last?"
Mustapha addressed the sailor in English, telling him that he was in the
presence of his highness the pacha.
"What, that old chap, muffled up in shawls and furs--is he the pacha?
Well, I don't think much o' he;" and the sailor turned his eyes round
the room, gaping with astonishment, and perfectly unmindful how very
near he was to one who could cut off his head or his tail, by a single
movement of his hand.
"What sayeth the Frank, Mustapha?" inquired the pacha.
"He is struck dumb with astonishment at the splendour of your majesty,
and all that he beholds."
"It is well said, by Allah!"
"I suppose I may just as well come to an anchor," said the sailor,
suiting the action to the word, and dropping down on the mats. "There,"
continued he, folding his legs in imitation of the Turks, "as it's the
fashion to have a cross in your hawse, in this here country, I can be a
bit of a lubber as well as yourselves. I wouldn't mind if I blew a
cloud, as well as you, old fusty-musty."
"What does the Giaour say? What son of a dog is this, to sit in our
presence?" exclaimed the pacha.
"He sayeth," replied Mustapha, "that in his country, no one dare stand
in the presence of the Frankish king; and, overcome by his humility, his
legs refuse their office, and he sinks to the dust before you. It is
even as he sayeth, for I have travelled in their country, and such is
the custom of that uncivilised nation. Mashallah! but he lives in awe
and trembling."
"By the beard of the Prophet, he does not appear to show it outwardly,"
replied the pacha; "but that may be the custom also."
"Be chesm, on my eyes be it," replied Mustapha, "it is even so. Frank,"
said Mustapha, "the pacha has sent for you that he may hear an account
of all the wonderful things which you have seen. You must tell lies,
and you will have gold."
"Tell lies! that is, spin a yarn; well, I can do that, but my mouth's
baked with thirst, and without a drop of something, the devil a yarn
from me; and so you may tell the old Billy-goat, perched up there."
"What sayeth the son of Shitan?" demanded the pacha, impatiently.
"The unbeliever declareth that his tongue is glued to his mouth from the
terror of your highness's presence. He fainteth after water to restore
him, and enable him to speak."
"Let him be fed," rejoined the pacha.
But Mustapha had heard enough to know that the sailor would not be
content with the pure element. He therefore continued, "Your slave must
tell you, that in the country of the Franks, they drink nothing but the
fire water, in which the true believers but occasionally venture to
indulge."
"Allah acbar! nothing but fire water? What then do they do with common
water?"
"They have none but from heaven--the rivers are all of the same
strength."
"Mashallah! how wonderful is God! I would we had a river here. Let
some be procured, then, for I wish to hear his story."
A bottle of brandy was sent for, and handed to the sailor, who put it to
his mouth; and the quantity he took of it before he removed the bottle
to recover his breath, fully convinced the pacha that Mustapha's
assertions were true.
"Come, that's not so bad," said the sailor, putting the bottle down
between his legs; "and now I'll be as good as my word, and I'll spin old
Billy a yarn as long as the maintop-bowling."
"What sayeth the Giaour?" interrupted the pacha.
"That he is about to lay at your highness's feet the wonderful events of
his life, and trusts that his face will be whitened before he quits your
sublime presence. Frank, you may proceed."
"To lie till I'm black in the face--well, since you wish it; but, old
chap, my name a'r'nt Frank. It happens to be Bill; howsomever, it
warn't a bad guess for a Turk; and now I'm here, I'd just like to ax you
a question. We had a bit of a hargument the other day, when I was in a
frigate up the Dardanelles, as to what your religion might be. Jack
Soames said that you warn't Christians, but that if you were, you could
only be Catholics; but I don't know how he could know any thing about
it, seeing that he had not been more than seven weeks on board of a man
of war. What may you be--if I may make so bold as to ax the question?"
"What does he say?" inquired the pacha, impatiently.
"He says," interrupted Mustapha, "that he was not so fortunate as to be
born in the country of the true believers, but in an island full of fog
and mist, where the sun never shines, and the cold is so intense, that
the water from heaven is hard and cold as a flint."
"That accounts for their not drinking it. Mashallah, God is great! Let
him proceed."
"The pacha desires me to say, that there is but one God, and Mahomet is
his Prophet; and begs that you will go on with your story."
"Never heard of the chap--never mind--here's saw wood."