"Mashallah! How wonderful is God! Did the caliph Haroun ever hear such
stories?" observed the pacha, taking the pipe from his mouth, as he was
indulging in company with Mustapha: "that infidel tells strange
histories of strange countries--What will his mouth open to next?"
"The Shaitan bacheh, for a son of the devil he still is, although he
wears the turban and bows to Allah, will prove a treasury of amusement
to your sublime highness," replied Mustapha: "but what are the words of
the sage?--`If thou hast gold in thy hazneh, keep it locked, and add
thereto; thus shalt thou become rich.'"
"They are the words of wisdom," replied the pacha.
"Then may I advise your highness to walk out this evening in search of
more, and not exhaust that which is in your possession?"
"Wallah thaib! It is well said!" answered the pacha, rising from his
musnud or carpet of state: "the moon is up--when all is ready we will
proceed."
In a quarter of an hour the pacha, attended by Mustapha and the armed
slaves as before, again set out upon their perambulations through the
city of Cairo.
They had not walked more than half an hour when they observed two men
sitting at the door of a fruit-shop, at high words with each other. The
pacha held up his finger to Mustapha, as a sign to stop, that he might
overhear their discourse.
"I tell you, Ali, that it is impossible to hear those long stories of
yours without losing one's temper."
"Long stories!" whispered the pacha to Mustapha with delight: "the very
thing!--Shukur Allah! Thanks be to God!"
"And I tell you in reply, Hussan, that yours are ten times worse. You
never have spoken for ten minutes without my feeling an inclination to
salute your mouth with the heel of my slipper. I wish there was any one
who would hear us both, and decide the point."
"That I will," said the pacha, going up to them: "to-morrow I will hear
both your stories, and decide upon the merits of each."
"And who are you?" observed one of the men with surprise.
"His highness the pacha," replied Mustapha, coming forward. Both the
men prostrated themselves, while the pacha directed Mustapha that they
should be brought before him on the following day; and the vizier,
having given them in charge to the slaves who had followed at a
distance, returned home with the pacha, who was delighted at the rich
harvest which he expected to reap from the two people who accused each
other of telling such long stories.
When the divan of the following day had closed, the two men were
summoned into the presence of the pacha.
"I shall now decide upon the merits of your stories," observed he. "Sit
down there both of you, and agree between yourselves which of you will
begin."
"May it please your highness, you will never be able to listen to this
man Ali," observed Hussan: "you had better send him away."
"Allah preserve your highness from all evil," replied Ali, "but more
especially from the talking of Hussan, which is as oppressive as the hot
wind of the desert."
"I have not sent for you to hear you dispute in my presence, but to hear
your stories. Ali, do you begin."
"I do assure your highness," interrupted Hussan, "that you will not
listen to him three minutes."
"I do assure you," retorted the pacha, "that if you say one word more,
until you are ordered, you will be rewarded with the bastinado for your
trouble. Ali, begin your story."
"Well, your highness, it was about thirty years ago, _you know_, that I
was a little boy, _you know_."
Here Hussan lifted up his hands, and, smiled.
"Well your highness, _you know_--"
"I don't know, Ali: how can I know until you tell me," observed the
pacha.
"Well then, your highness must know, that ever since I was born I have
lived in the same street where your highness saw us seated last night,
and thirty years, _you know_, is a long period in a man's life. My
father was a gardener, and people of his condition, _you know_, are
obliged to get up early, that they may be in time for the market, where,
_you know_, they bring their vegetables for sale."
"This is all very true, I dare say," observed the pacha, "but you will
oblige me by leaving out all those _you knows_, which I agree with your
comrade Hussan to be very tedious."
"That's what I have already told him, your highness: `Ali,' _says I_,
`if you can only leave out your _you knows_,' _says I_, `your story
might be amusing, but,' _says I_--"
"Silence with your _says I's_," observed the pacha; "have you forgotten
the bastinado? there seems to be a pair of you. Ali, go on with the
story, and remember my injunction; the felek and ferashes are at hand."
"Well, your highness, one morning he rose earlier than usual, as he was
anxious to be first in the market with some onions, which, _you know_,
are very plentiful; and having laden his ass, he set off at a good round
pace for the city. There, _you know_, he arrived at the market-place a
little after the day had dawned, when, _you know_--"
"Did you not receive my orders to leave out _you know_. Am I to be
obeyed or not? Now go on, and if you offend again you shall have the
bastinado till your nails drop off."
"I shall observe your highness's wishes," replied Ali.--"A little after
the day had dawned, _you_--no, he, I mean, observed an old woman sitting
near one of the fruit-stalls, with her head covered up in an old
dark-blue capote; and as he passed by, _you_--she, I mean, held out one
of her fingers, and said, `Ali Baba,' for that was my father's name,
`Listen to good advice; leave your laden beast and follow me.' Now my
father, _you know_, not being inclined to pay any attention to such an
old woman, replied, _you know_--"
"Holy Allah!" exclaimed the pacha in a rage to Mustapha, "what does this
man deserve?"
"The punishment due to those who dare to disobey your highness's
commands."
"And he shall have it; take him out; give him one hundred blows of the
bastinado; put him on an ass, with his face turned towards the tail; and
let the officer who conducts him through the town proclaim, `Such is the
punishment awarded by the pacha to him who presumes to say that his
highness knows, when in fact, he knows nothing.'"
The guards seized upon the unfortunate Ali, to put in execution the will
of the pacha; and as he was dragged away, Hussan cried out, "I told you
so; but you would not believe me."
"Well," replied Ali, "I've one comfort, your story's not told yet. His
highness has yet to decide which is the best."
After a few minutes' pause, to recover himself from the ruffling of his
temper, the pacha addressed the other man--"Now, Hussan, you will begin
your story; and observe that I am rather in an ill-humour."
"How can your highness be otherwise, after the annoyance of that bore
Ali? I said so; `Ali,' _says I_--"
"Go on with your story," repeated the pacha angrily.
"It was about two years ago, your highness, when I was sitting at the
door of the fruit-shop, which your highness might have observed when you
saw us last night, that a young female, who seemed above the common
class, came in, followed by a porter. `I want some melons,' says she.
`I have very fine ones, so walk in,' _says I_, and I handed down from
the upper shelf, where they were placed, four or five musk, and four or
five water-melons.
"`Now,' _says I_, `young woman, you'll observe that these are much finer
melons,' _says I_, `than you usually can procure; therefore the lowest
price that I can take,' _says I_, `is--'"
"Why your _says I's_ are much worse than Ali's _you knows_; leave them
out, if you please, and proceed with your story," cried the pacha, with
increased ill-humour.
"I will obey, your highness, if possible. I stated the lowest price,
and she lifted up her veil--`I have an idea,' said she, as she allowed
me to look upon one of the prettiest faces in the world, `that they are
to be had cheaper.'
"I was so struck with her beauty that I was quite speechless. `Am I not
right?' said she, smiling. `From you, madam,' _says I_, `I can take
nothing; put as many in the basket of your porter as you please.' She
thanked me, and put into the basket all that I had handed down.
"`Now,' _says she_, `I want some dates, the best and finest that you
have.' I handed some down, that would have been admired by the ladies
of your highness's harem. `These, madam,' _says I_, `are the best dates
that are to be found in Cairo.' She tasted them, and asked the price: I
mentioned it. `They are dear,' replied she, `but I must have them
cheaper,' and again she lifted her veil. `Madam,' _says I_, `these
dates are much too cheap at the price which I have mentioned; it really
is impossible to take one para less; observe, madam,' _says I_, `the
beauty of them, feel the weight, and taste them,' _says I_, `and you
must acknowledge,' _says I_, `that they are offered to you at a price
which,' _says I_--"
"Holy Prophet!" cried the pacha in a rage; "I will hear no more of your
_says I's_: if you cannot tell your story without them, you shall fare
worse than Ali."
"May it please your highness, how will it be possible for you to know
what I said, unless I point out to you what I did say? I cannot tell my
story without it."
"I'll see that," replied the pacha, in a savage tone; and making a sign,
the executioner made his appearance. "Now, then, go on with your story;
and, executioner, after he has repeated _says I_ three times, off with
his head! Go on."
"I shall never be able to go on, your highness; consider one moment how
harmless my _says I's_ are to the detestable _you knows_ of Ali. That's
what I always told him `Ali,' _says I_, `if you only knew,' _says I_,
`how annoying you are! Why there,' _says I_--"
At this moment the blow of the scimitar fell, and the head of Hussan
rolled upon the floor; the lips, from the force of habit, still
quivering in their convulsions with the motioning which would have
produced _says I_, if the channel of sound had not been so effectually
interrupted.
"That story's ended!" observed the pacha in a rage. "Of all the
nuisances I ever encountered, these two men have beat them all. Allah
forbid that I should again meet with a _says I_, or _you know_!"
"Your highness is all wisdom," observed Mustapha; "may such ever be the
fate of those who cannot tell their stories without saying what they
said." The pacha, irritated at his disappointment, and little soothed
by the remark of Mustapha, without making any answer to it was about to
retire to his harem, when Mustapha, with a low salaam, informed him that
the renegade was in attendance to relate his Second Voyage, if he might
be permitted to kiss the dust in his presence. "Khoda shefa midehed--
God gives relief," replied the pacha, as he resumed his seat: "let him
approach."
The renegade entered; and having paid the customary obeisance, took his
seat, and commenced the narrative of his Second Voyage:--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
May it please your most sublime highness, the day after I embarked we
sailed with a fair wind; and having cleared the Straits, flattered
ourselves with the prospect of a successful voyage; but we were
miserably disappointed, for three days afterwards we fell in with a
small brig under English colours. As she was evidently a merchant
vessel we paid no attention to her running down to us, supposing that
she was out of her reckoning, and wished to know her exact position on
the chart. But as soon as she was close to us, instead of passing under
our stern, as we expected, she rounded to, and laid us by the board.
Taken by surprise and having no arms, we were beaten down below; and in
a few minutes the vessel remained in the possession of our assailants.
They held a short consultation, and then opening the hatches, a
boatswain pulled out his whistle, and in a tremendous voice roared out,
"_All hands ahoy_!" which was followed by his crying out, "_Tumble up
there, tumble up_!" As we understood this to be a signal for our
appearance on deck, we obeyed the summons. When we all came up, we
found out that if we had had any idea that they were enemies, we might
have beaten them off, as they were only fifteen in number while we
mustered sixteen. But it was too late: we were unarmed, and they had
each of them a cutlass, with two pistols stuck in their girdles. As
soon as we were all on deck, they bound our arms behind us with ropes
and ranged us in a line. Having inquired of each of us our respective
ranks and professions, they held a short consultation, and the boatswain
addressing me, said: "Thank Heaven, you scoundrel, that you were brought
up as a barber, for it has saved your life!"
He then cut loose the cords which bound me, and I remained at liberty.
"Now then, my lads!" continued the boatswain, "_Come, every man his
bird_!" and, so saying, he seized upon the captain of the vessel, and
leading him to the gangway, passed his sword through his body, and
tossed him into the sea.
In the same manner each of the murderous villains led forward the man he
had selected, and putting an end to his life, either by the sword or
pistol, launched the corpse into the waves.
My blood curdled as I beheld the scene, but I said nothing. I
considered myself too fortunate to escape with life. When it was all
over, the boatswain roared out, "_That job's done_! Now, Mr Barber,
swab up all this here blood, and be damned to you! and recollect that
you are one of us." I obeyed in fear and silence, and then returned to
my former station near the taffrail.
The people who had captured us, as I afterwards found out, were part of
the crew of an English Guinea-man, who had murdered the master and mate,
and had taken possession of the vessel. As our brig was a much finer
craft in every respect, they determined upon retaining her and scuttling
their own. Before night they had made all their arrangements, and were
standing to the westward with a fine breeze.
But exactly as the bell struck eight for midnight, a tremendous voice
was heard at the hatchway, if possible more than a hunched times louder
than the boatswain's, roaring out "_All hands ahoy_!"
The concussion of the air was so great, that the ship trembled as if she
had been struck by a thunderbolt; and as soon as the motion had
subsided, the water was heard to rush into every part of the hold.
Every body ran on deck astonished with the sound, expecting the vessel
immediately to go down, and looking at each other with horror as they
stood trembling in their shirts. The water continued to rush into the
vessel until it reached the orlop beams; then as suddenly it stopped.
When the panic had to a certain degree subsided, and they perceived that
the water did not increase, all hands applied to the pumps, and by eight
o'clock in the morning the vessel was free. Still the unaccountable
circumstance weighed heavy on the minds of the seamen, who walked the
deck without speaking to each other, or paying any attention to the
ship's course; and as no one took the command, no one was ordered to the
helm.
For my own part, I thought it a judgment upon them for their cruelty;
and, expecting that worse would happen, I had made up my mind to my
fate. I thought of Marie, and hoping for pardon yet fearing the worst,
I vowed if I escaped that I would amend my life.
At night we again retired to our hammocks, but no one slept, so afraid
were we of a second visitation. The bell was not struck by the men, but
it struck itself, louder than I ever heard it before; and again the
dreadful voice was heard, "_All hands ahoy_!" again the water rushed in,
and again we ran on deck. As before, it mounted as high as the orlop
beams; it then stopped, and was pumped out again by eight o'clock on the
ensuing morning.
For a month, during which time we never saw land, for we had lost all
reckoning, and no one cared to steer--the same dreadful visitation took
place. Habit had, to a degree, hardened the men; they now swore and got
drunk as before, and even made a jest of the _boatswain of the middle
watch_, as they called him, but at the same time they were worn out with
constant fatigue; and one night they declared that they would pump no
longer. The water remained in the vessel all that day, and we retired
to our hammocks as usual, when at midnight the same voice was again
heard at the hatchway, not followed by the rush of water, but by a
shriek of "_Tumble up there, tumble up_!"
We all started at the summons, and hastened on deck; there was something
that impelled us in spite of ourselves. Never shall I forget the horrid
sight which presented itself: stretched in a row on the deck of the
vessel lay the fifteen bloody corpses of my shipmates who had been
murdered. We stood aghast; the hair rose straight up from our heads, as
we viewed the supernatural reappearances. After a pause of about five
minutes, during which we never spoke or even moved, one of the corpses
cried out in a sepulchral voice, "_Come, every man his bird_!" and held
up its arms as it lay.
The man, whose office it had been to take the living body to the
gangway, and after killing it to throw it overboard, advanced towards
it; he was evidently impelled by a supernatural power, for never shall I
forget the look of horror, the faint scream of agony, which escaped him
as he obeyed the summons. Like the trembling bird fascinated by the
snake, he fell into the arms of the dead body; which grasping him tight,
rolled over and over in convolutions like a serpent, until it gained the
break of the gangway, and then tumbled into the sea with its murderer
entwined in its embraces. A flash of lightning succeeded, which blinded
us for several minutes; and when we recovered our vision, the remainder
of the bodies had disappeared.
The effect upon the guilty wretches was dreadful; there they lay, each
man on the deck where he had crouched down, when the lightning had
flashed upon him: the sun rose upon them, yet they moved not; he poured
his beams on their naked bodies when at his meridian height, yet they
still remained: the evening closed in, and found them in the same
positions. As soon as it was dark, as if released from a spell, they
crawled below, and went into their hammocks: at midnight again the bell
struck; again the voice was heard, followed by the shriek; again they
repaired on deck: the fourteen remaining bodies lay in a row: another of
the murderers was summoned, obeyed, and disappeared: again the flash of
lightning burst upon us, and all had vanished: and thus it continued
every night, until the boatswain, who was reserved for the last, was
dragged overboard after the rest by the corpse of the captain; and then
a tremendous voice from the maintop, followed by exulting laughter,
cried out, "_That job's done_." Immediately after which, the water
rushed out of the bottom of the vessel, and she was clear as before.
Returning thanks to Heaven that I was not a party sufferer with the
rest, I lay down, and for the first time for many weeks fell into a
sound sleep. How long I slept, I know not: it may have been days; but I
awoke at last by the sound of voices, and found that the people on board
of a vessel bound from Mexico to the South of Spain, perceiving the brig
lying with her sails torn, and her yards not trimmed, had sent a boat to
ascertain whether there was any body remaining in her. I was afraid
that if I told them what had happened, they either would not believe me,
or else would refuse to take on board a person who had been in company
with such examples of divine vengeance. I therefore stated that we had
been attacked by dysentery about six weeks before, and all had died
except myself, who was supercargo of the brig.
As their vessel was but half full, the cargo, consisting chiefly of
cochineal and copper, which is stowed in small space, the captain
offered to take as many of my goods as he could stow, provided I would
allow him the freight. This I willingly consented to, and examining the
manifest, selected the most valuable, which were removed to the Spanish
vessel.
We had a favourable wind; and having run through the Straits, expected
in a day or two we should anchor at Valencia, to which port she was
bound; but a violent gale came on from the N.E., which lasted many days,
and drove us over to the African shore. To increase our misfortunes,
the ship sprung a-leak, and made so much water that we could scarcely
keep her free.
The Spaniards are but indifferent sailors, your highness, and in a storm
are more inclined to pray than to work: they became frightened, gave
over pumping, and having lighted a candle before the image of St.
Antonio, which was fixed on the stern of the vessel, began to call upon
him for assistance. Not immediately obtaining their request, they took
the image out of the shrine, abused it, called it every vile name that
they could think of, and ended with tying it against the mainmast, and
beating it with ropes.
In the mean time the vessel filled more and more; whereas, if instead of
praying, they had continued at the pumps, we should have done well
enough, as the gale was abating, and she did not make so much water as
before.
Enraged at their cowardice, and at the idea of losing so much property
as I had on board (for I considered it as my own,) I seized the image
from the mast, and threw it overboard, telling them to go to their pumps
if they wished to be saved. The whole crew uttered a cry of horror, and
would have thrown me after the image, but I made my escape up the
rigging, from whence I dared not descend for many hours.
Having now no saint to appeal to, they once more applied to the pumps.
To their astonishment, the vessel made no more water, and in the course
of a few hours she was free.
The next morning the gale was over, and we were steering for Valencia.
I observed that the captain and sailors avoided me, but I cared little
about it, as I felt that my conduct had saved the ship as well as my own
property. On the second day we anchored in the bay, and were boarded by
the authorities, who went down into the cabin, and had a long
conversation with the captain. They quitted the ship, and about an hour
afterwards I proposed going ashore, but the captain said that he could
not permit it until the next morning. While I was expostulating with
him as to the reasons for my detention, a boat rowed alongside, from out
of which came two personages dressed in black. I knew them to be
familiars of the Inquisition; and it immediately occurred to me that my
personification of the lady abbess had been discovered, and that my doom
was sealed. The captain pointed me out; they collared and handed me
into the boat, and pulled for the shore in silence.
When we landed, I was put into a black coach, and conveyed to the palace
of the Inquisition, where I was thrown into one of the lowest dungeons.
The next day the familiars appeared, and led me to the hall of judgment,
where I was asked whether I confessed my crime. I replied that I did
not know what I was accused of. They again asked me if I would confess,
and on my making the same answer I was ordered to the torture.
As I knew that I had no chance, I thought I might as well avoid
unnecessary pain, and declared that I did confess it.
"What instigated you to the deed?"
Not well knowing what to reply, as I was not exactly aware of the nature
of my offence, I answered that it was the blessed Virgin.
"Blasphemer!" cried the grand inquisitor, "what! the blessed Virgin
desired you to throw St. Antonio overboard?"
"Yes," replied I (glad that at all events the crime was not what I had
anticipated), "she did; and told me that it would be the saving of the
vessel."
"Where were you?"
"On the deck."
"Where did you see her?"
"She was sitting on a small blue cloud, a little above the topsail-yard.
`Fear not, Francois,' said she, motioning with her hand, `to throw the
image overboard.'" The inquisitors were astonished at my boldness: a
consultation was held, as to whether I should be treated as a
blasphemer, or the circumstance blazoned into a miracle. But it
unfortunately happened for me that a miracle had occurred very lately;
and there were very few people to be burnt at the _auto-da-fe_ of the
ensuing month.
It was therefore decided against me. I was reviled, abused, and
sentenced to the flames; but I determined, as my only chance, to put a
good face upon the matter to the very last. Looking up, as if to a
point in the ceiling of the dark hall of judgment, and holding my hands
before, as if in amazement--"Holy Virgin," cried I, bending on my knee,
"I thank thee for the sign. My Lord," continued I fiercely, "I fear you
not; you have sentenced me to perish by the flames; I tell you that I
shall leave my dungeon with honour, and be as much courted as I have
been now reviled."
The inquisitors were for a moment staggered, but their surprise gave
place to their cruelty, when they considered how long they had tortured
thousands for doubting points to which they themselves had never for a
moment given credence. I was remanded to my dungeon; and the gaoler,
who had never before witnessed such boldness in the hall of justice, and
was impressed with the conviction that I was supported as I had
affirmed, treated me with kindness, affording me comforts, which, had it
been known, would have cost him his situation.
In the meantime the cargo of the vessel was landed at the Custom-house,
and she was hauled on shore to have her bottom caulked and pitched,
when, to the astonishment of the captain and crew, the hole which had
occasioned the leak was discovered with the head of the figure of the
saint, which I had thrown overboard, so firmly wedged in, that it
required some force to pull it out. "A miracle! a miracle!" was cried
from the quays, and proclaimed through every part of the town. It was
evident that the Virgin had instigated me to throw over the image, as
the only means of stopping the leak. The friars of the nearest convent
claimed the image from their propinquity, and came down to the ship in
grand procession to carry it to their church. The grand inquisitor,
hearing the circumstance, acknowledged to the bishop and heads of the
clergy my intrepid behaviour in the hall of judgment: and not three
hours after the ship had been hauled on shore, I was visited in my
dungeon by the grand inquisitor, the bishop, and a long procession, my
pardon requested, and the kiss of peace demanded and given. I was taken
away with every mark of respect, and looked upon as one under special
favour of the Virgin. "Did I not say, my lord, that I should leave my
dungeon in honour?"
"You did, my friend," answered the inquisitor: and I heard him mutter,
"either there is such a person as the Virgin Mary, or you are a most
ready-witted scoundrel."
During my stay at Valencia, I was courted and feasted by every body, and
sold my goods at an enormous price; for every one thought that to
possess any thing that had belonged to me must bring them good fortune.
I received many handsome presents, had divers requests to become a
member of the different fraternities of monks, and eventually quitted
the town with a large sum of money, with which I proceeded to Toulon,
with the intention of making some inquiry after my dear Cerise, whose
image was still the object of my dreams, as well as of my waking
thoughts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Stop," said the pacha; "I wish to know, whether you believe that the
Virgin, as you call her, did thrust the head of the image into the hole
in the bottom of the ship."
"May it please your highness, I do not. I believe it originated from
nothing but cause and effect. It is the nature of a whirlpool to draw
down all substances that come within its vortex. The water pouring into
the bottom of the ship is but the vortex of a whirlpool reversed; and
the image of the saint, when it was thrown overboard to leeward of the
ship, which was pressed down upon it by the power of the wind, was
forced under the water, until it was taken into the vortex of the leak,
and naturally found its way into the hole."
"I dare say you are very right," answered the pacha, "but I don't
understand a word you have said."
"Such, your highness, were the adventures attending my Second Voyage,"
concluded the renegade, with an inclination of his head.
"And a very good voyage too! I like it better than your first.
Mustapha, give him ten pieces of gold: you will bring him here
to-morrow, and we will hear what happened in his third."
"You observe," said Mustapha, when the pacha had retired, "my advice was
good."
"Most excellent!" replied the renegade, holding out his hand for the
money: "To-morrow I'll lie like any barber."