went back to the “house of her father,” and as a man who died without
issue had to leave his property to his “father’s house,” and as many had
only a life-interest in their property, while the family usually had a
right of pre-emption in the case of proposed sales, we see that the family
always had a strong hold over property. Not only was it for the man’s
interest to be registered as of a certain family, but it was also for the
family’s interest to register all its members.
(M330) There are suggestions that the family assumed certain
responsibilities over the man; for in Assyria it appears that the family
might come forward and liberate a man from his debt. A free man, who had
been sold as a slave to Ashnunnak, and who escaped to Babylon, after five
years, being claimed as a slave by the levy-masters there, chose to serve
his father’s house. His brothers swore by Marduk and Ammiditana the king,
making an irrevocable declaration that as long as he lived he should take
up the duties of his father’s house with his brothers.(261) In the later
Babylonian times, the head of the family, though only a distant relation,
was called upon to act as judge in a dispute concerning the disposition of
property.
X. Courtship And Marriage
(M331) The suitor came with presents to the parents of the girl. Most
writers see in this a survival of the purchase of the bride. The name of
this gift, _terḫatu_, is undoubtedly connected with the name of the bride,
_marḫitu_. This present, or bride-price, differed greatly with the
circumstances of the parties. Both money and slaves were given, but a
simple sum of money was more common. In cases where the bride was rich or
highly placed the amount seems less. A very usual amount was ten shekels,
but we have examples from one shekel up to three minas.(262) The Code
assessed it at one mina of silver for a patrician and a third of a mina
for a plebeian.(263)
(M332) Without this bride-price the young man could not take a wife. Hence
it was expressly secured to him by the Code, if his father died before he
was of age to marry, and reserved as a first charge on the father’s
estate. There is some evidence that a woman might make this present to her
future husband. But that may have been because he was too poor to make it
himself and she found him the means. As a rule, the parents gave this
money to the bride. But we are not in a position to say whether they did
so at once, on the consummation of the marriage, or on the birth of a
child. The suggestion that it was her _Morgengabe_ remains without
support. Certain it is that it was not returned always. In the contracts
it seems to be given to the bridegroom with the bride. On a wife dying
without children, the husband was bound to return her marriage-portion to
her family. But if the bride-price which he had given for her had not been
returned to him, he could deduct its value. On a divorce, he was bound to
let his wife have not only her marriage-portion, but the bride-price paid
back to him. If there had been none, he must give her a fixed sum instead
of it.
(M333) From the phrase-books we may gather that there was a sort of
ceremony about presenting the bride-price to the father: it was placed on
a salver and brought in before the parents.(264) This was probably a part
of the ceremony of betrothal.
If the father rejected the suitor, he was bound to return the bride-price
offered.(265) A curious section of the Code enacts that if the suitor’s
comrade intrigued to break off the match, he was excluded from marrying
the girl himself.(266)
(M334) If, after he had brought in the bride-price to his prospective
father-in-law, the suitor took a fancy to another girl, he might withdraw
from the suit. But he then forfeited what he had offered. If this really
was the result of having taken a dislike to a plain girl, we may suppose
that such a maiden might accumulate several bride-prices and so acquire
some wealth. This may explain Herodotus’s idea that the handsome girls
made a dowry for the plain ones. But there is not a shred of evidence for
their doing so in the way he suggests. A girl was a virgin when she was
married.(267)
(M335) Of interest in the later Babylonian texts is the fact that the
preliminaries of the marriage are more fully illustrated. Thus we read of
the wedding of the daughter of Neriglissar:(268) Nabû-shum-ukîn, the _êrib
bîti_ of Nabû, judge of Êzida, spoke to the King Neriglissar, saying thus:
“Give to me Gigîtum, your young daughter, to wife.” The tablet has only
preserved a few lines, from which we cannot be sure that the marriage took
place. The tablet was called a duplicate of Êzida, showing that it was
preserved in the Nabû temple at Borsippa.
The following case is one of the clearest:(269)
(M336)
Nabû-nâdin-aḫi, son of Bêl-aḫê-iddin, grandson of Ardi-Nêrgal,
spoke thus to Shûm-ukîn, son of Mushallimu, saying: “Give me thy
daughter, Ina-Esaggil-banat, the maiden, to wife, for
Uballitsu-Gula, my son.” Shûm-ukîn listened to him and gave his
maiden daughter, Ina-Esaggil-banat to Uballitsu-Gula, his son. He
gave also one mina of silver, three female slaves named, and house
furniture, with Ina-Esaggil-banat, his daughter, as a
marriage-portion to Nabû-nâdin-aḫi. Nanâ-kishirat, the maid of
Shûm-ukîn in lieu of two-thirds of a mina of silver, her full
price, Shûm-ukîn gave to Nabû-nâdin-aḫi out of the one mina of
silver for her marriage-portion. The deficiency, one-third of a
mina of silver, Shûm-ukîn will give Nabû-nâdin-aḫi, and then her
marriage-portion is paid. Each took a writing.
Here the father negotiates for his son. There is no evidence of any
bride-price being paid. But the examples of this kind of document are too
few for us to establish any fixed conclusions. In the following case
something very like it appears.(270)
(M337)
Dâgil-ilâni, son of Zambubu, spoke thus to Ḥammâ, daughter of
Nêrgal-iddin, son of Babûtu, saying: “Give me thy daughter,
Latubashinni, she shall be my wife.” Ḥammâ listened to him and
gave him her daughter, Latubashinni, to wife; and Dâgil-ilâni, in
the joy of his heart, gave to Ḥammâ for Latubashinni, her
daughter, Ana-eli-bêli-âmur, a maid, for half a mina of silver and
a mina and a half of silver to boot. The day that Dâgil-ilâni
shall take a second wife, Dâgil-ilâni shall give Latubashinni a
mina of silver and she shall go back where she was before. With
the cognisance of Shûm-iddin, son of Ina-êšhi-eter, son of
Sin-damaku.
Here the man himself negotiates. The mother gives the bride. Whether he
really buys her is hard to say. The mother may have adopted the girl to
care for her old age, as was often done. The bridegroom may have
compensated the mother with means to adopt another daughter. What _locus
standi_ Shûm-iddin had is not clear. He may have been the real father of
the bride and so had to be satisfied that she was fairly treated by the
change in her position. Or his consent to the bridegroom’s alliance may
have been needed. The penalty set down for divorce is not high and the
bride was probably poor; we see she was portionless. In other cases it was
as high as six minas of silver.(271) Occasionally the deed of marriage
also named a penalty for adultery on the part of the wife.
(M338) Women were given in marriage. The suitor for her hand did not
perhaps see her until marriage, but this is not likely, since he is
contemplated by the Code as capable of having cast his eyes upon another,
and so desiring to retreat from his suit. At any rate, he brought presents
to her father, who accepted or rejected him. There is no hint that the
woman had any choice. The result of this power over the child’s marriage
was that conditions might be imposed on the marriage. The bride might be
required to do service to an existing wife, or to the bridegroom’s mother.
Further, the disposal of property was not entirely free after marriage. It
depended upon what the father had laid down in the marriage-settlement on
his daughter. It was strictly limited to the woman’s children, and if
there were none it went back to her father’s house.
(M339) In early times, the father usually gives the bride. But in a great
many cases this duty fell on the mother. How this came about we do not
usually know. The father being dead, or the girl illegitimate, seem the
best explanations, as a rule. In the absence of father and mother, the
brother as head of the family assumed the duty. The examples of this are
common enough.(272)
For later times also the examples are numerous of the power of agnates to
give in marriage. It may perhaps be deduced that the children, in these
cases, were young.(273)
(M340) Women once married, were free to marry again of their own choice,
whether divorced, separated, or widowed. A betrothed girl, or bride, if
her marriage were not yet consummated, being seduced by her father-in-law,
in whose house she had gone to live, was also free to marry. But it does
not seem that women who were yet virgins could choose their own husbands.
Even princesses were given in marriage.
(M341) The man was not altogether free to marry. The Code contemplates a
boy left by the death of his father too young to marry. The brothers, when
they divided the father’s property, were bound to set aside for him, in
addition to his share of his father’s property, a sum for a bride-price,
and take him a wife. It seems probable that men married while still young
and living at home. For the Code contemplates the bride being brought to
live in her father-in-law’s house.(274)
In later Babylonian times, at any rate, the son could not marry without
his father’s consent. This we learn from a suit in high life, in the time
of Cyrus.(275) A high official of the king’s, A, brought a suit against B,
who was “over the house,” before the nobles and the king’s judges. A
accused B and C, an official of his house, of having given a tablet of
marriage-contract of D, a sister of C’s, to A’s son without A’s consent.
Put to the oath, B swore that he did not seal the tablet. Then D was
questioned. Then C acknowledged that he had drawn up and sealed with B’s
seal the marriage-contract of D to A’s son. The judges ordered D to return
to her brother’s house. The tablet was to be broken whenever found. If
afterward D should be seen with A’s son, she was to bear the sign of a
concubine.
(M342) From other examples the conclusion is inevitable that if a woman
desired to be a full and proper wife she had to obtain the consent of her
bridegroom’s father. Thus we read:(276) “The day that the woman A is seen
with B he shall bring her to the wedding-house. If she does not say to the
master of the wedding-house: Send for C, the father of B, then she shall
wear the sign of a concubine.” Her mother was present at the sealing of
this agreement. From this we may deduce that weddings took place at a
definite spot, called the “wedding-house.” The name was literally “house
of the males,” or “of the named ones,” and also house of the _mâr bânê_,
or “sons of ancestors.” It is clear that this was a registration court
where all who had pretensions to ancestry, or were people of position,
were enrolled. One whose name was found there was a man “with a name,”
also a “son of an ancestor.” He was probably registered there at birth,
marriage, and death. The master of that house was a registrar and
evidently could marry people. It was expected in this case that the woman,
if she wished to be properly married, would send for the bridegroom’s
father, whose consent was necessary. Another name for the house was _bît
pirṣatum_, the meaning of which is obscure. But as Ishtar was _bêlit
parṣê_, the “lady of _the parṣê_,” we may connect it also with weddings.
(M343) We have seen that the _terḫatu_, or present made to the parents by
the suitor before marriage, was usually handed over to the bride on her
going to her husband’s house. There is frequent reference to this
essential preliminary. It had to be carefully laid aside for the young man
by his mother or brethren, if he had not married in his father’s lifetime,
and was secured to him by law, apart from and above what might come to him
as a share of his father’s property. Otherwise he would suffer loss in
having to find it out of his own pocket, when his married brothers had
been provided with the means during their father’s lifetime. Usually it
was an amount of silver, one shekel up to three minas. In later Babylonian
times there is little evidence of the parents receiving gifts. We now and
then find it so. Thus a man gave a slave and a mina and a half of silver
for his wife to her mother,(277) but it is not clear whether or not this
was to buy her.
(M344) A far more valuable endowment of the bride was her
marriage-portion. If her father was not alive to give it to her, the duty
fell on his heirs, and she had a right to it over and above her daughter’s
share of his property. Thus we find that the brothers, on giving their
sister a share, contract to further endow her if she marries.(278)
(M345) We have one or two lists that show what might be expected as a
trousseau by a Babylonian bride. One which illustrates the Code(279)
extremely well, narrates first what had been given a notary and _NU-BAR_
of Marduk by her father on her taking her vow and entering the temple of
Anunitum. This was his “grant” to her and was known by the same name as
the marriage-portion of a bride. It included half a shekel of gold for a
nose-ring (?), two shekels of silver as a finger-ring, another ring of
silver of one shekel, one _malumsa_, three cloaks, three turbans, one
small seal worth five minas, two jewels of unknown character, one bed,
five chairs, five different sorts of things apparently made of reeds, the
concubine Suratum, her step-mother. Unfortunately many of these renderings
are still quite conjectural. It is interesting to note that the father
left to his daughter his concubine, who was probably a slave, and possibly
really the girl’s mother. But now this girl is about to marry and her own
mother, Shubultum, at any rate, her father’s full wife, together with her
brothers and sisters, give her all this property and cause it to enter her
husband’s house. They had a reversionary right to her property, since as a
votary she could not alienate it from her family.(280) So now they waive
their right, as it will after her marriage pass to her children, if she
has any.(281) So they are said to “give” her what her father had already
“granted” her. Further, they return to her husband the _terḫatu_, of
one-third of a mina of silver, which he had presented to them.(282) The
marriage-portion could not be reclaimed by the wife’s family at her death
if she had children. If she had none, it went back to her family.(283)
(M346) Another long list, also a “grant” to a votary, is found in two
documents which contain apparently a complaint of oppression made to the
king. Neither is sufficiently complete to be decisive as to the purpose of
the letters or reports which are written in the first person. But they are
duplicates as far as they preserve the list and in many other long
phrases. Here is the list:
Four ... of gold, two rings ... each of them one ... two dishes,
carved with _karakku_ birds, one dish carved as a lion, whose head
is of _AB_ wood, and its border of _KU_ wood, one chair of _KU_
wood, three chairs (of different makes) of _AB_ wood, one oil-pot,
_šalla_, one oil-pot containing two hundred _ḲA_ of Carchemish
work, one mixing-pot of copper, one _dupru kanku_ containing
thirty _ḲA_, two _kundulu_ of copper, one ... two ..., one for ...
Although this list is full of words of which the meaning is obscure as
yet, one can see the main drift of it, jewelry, household furniture, pots
and pans, and whatever went to the domestic equipment of the house. It is
of interest to note that already Carchemish was celebrated for its
wares.(284)
With these lists may be compared the Tell-el-Amarna lists given in
transcription, with a few hints at translation, by Dr. Winckler.(285) They
are lists of presents sent by a king of Egypt to a king of Babylon; by
Dushratta, King of Mitanni, to Nimuria, King of Egypt, as the
marriage-portion of his daughter, Taduḫipa, and another list of her dowry.
The greater part of the names of these articles defy translation.
(M347) During the Fourth Dynasty of Babylon, the celebrated Michaux
Stone(286) records the gift of lands by a father to his daughter on her
marriage. From Kassite times we have a list similar to the above, but not
easily translatable. The supposed examples of dowry in Assyrian times are
not really such. But in the later Babylonian era the marriage-portion was
still given by the father. It bears, however, the name _nudunnu_, once
reserved for the husband’s free gift to his wife. The _nudunnu_, in one
case, is ten minas of silver, four maid-servants, house-furniture, and the
like.(287) It might include sheep and oxen.(288) See also the later
Babylonian laws about the marriage-portion.(289) A long list might be made
out from these sources of the house-furniture,(290) but as before we do
not know what half of the terms mean.
(M348) There are many examples of receipts given for the marriage-portion
received in full.(291) Sometimes it was merely promised. It was not always
paid promptly. Law C made a note of this. The father might have promised a
portion, and even given a deed of gift for it to his daughter. But if his
means have diminished he cannot be held to a literal fulfilment of the
promise. He may do what he can. The law adds significantly that
“father-in-law and son-in-law shall not oppress one another.” We find that
actions were frequently brought to obtain a marriage-portion. We have an
instance where the payment was withheld for nine years.(292)
(M349) A husband might make a settlement on his wife. In the time of the
Code this was called a _nudunnu_. It had to be by deed of gift. It might
cover income-producing estate as well as personal property. But it was
hers only for life. She could leave it as she chose among her children of
the marriage, but not to members of her own family.(293) We may regard it
as pin-money. Her husband’s heirs could not disturb her possession of it
as long as she lived. But she forfeited it, if she married again.(294)
(M350) The betrothed maiden did not at once leave her father’s house. This
we learn from the Code, which enacts a penalty on one who should seduce a
betrothed maiden living in her father’s house.(295) It seems that on both
sides betrothal took place in early life and that the arrangements were in
the hands of the parents. A father was expected to take a wife for his
son.
(M351) Neither the Code nor any contracts throw light upon the
marriage-ceremony, but a tablet published by Dr. Pinches in the
Proceedings of the Victoria Institute, 1892-93, reprinted as “_Notes on
some recent discoveries in the realm of Assyriology_,” contains certain
suggestions.(296) It is very fragmentary and in the form of an interlinear
translation from the Sumerian. It is not always clear who are the actors
referred to, but we may perhaps take it that the officiating ministers,
priests, or elders, first placed their hands and feet against the hands
and feet of the bridegroom, then the bride laid her head on his shoulder
and he was made to say to her: “I am the son of nobles, silver and gold
shall fill your lap, you shall be my wife, I will be your husband. Like
the fruit of a garden I will give you offspring.” Then there is a wide
gap. But in the next column we seem to have a further part of the
wedding-ritual. The officiating ministers ceremoniously bound sandals on
the feet of the newly wedded pair, gave them a leather girdle (? or strap)
and fastened to it a pouch or purse of silver and gold. The further
ceremony included placing them somewhere in the desert. Then turning their
faces to the sunset and addressing the man, the minister says: “I swear by
the great gods and you may go.” He bids him not to put off the garment of
Ea, nor something belonging to Marduk of Eridu. Then comes a wide gap, but
the fourth column seems to read “until you have settled in the house,
until you have reached the city, eat no food and drink no water, taste not
the waters of the sea, sweet waters, bitter waters, the waters of the
Tigris, the waters of the Euphrates, waters of the well, nor waters of the
river, to fly up to heaven direct not your wings, to burrow in the earth
set not your dwelling. As a hero, the son of his god, let him be pure.”
The passage is very difficult and much of the rendering is conjectural,
but the point of the address seems to be that the young man was to go
straight home, live with his wife, and be good, as a true child of God.
The first column seems to be an enumeration of men who are cursed with
misfortunes, for example, “one whom his mother brought forth with
weeping,” and perhaps forms part of a prayer that the bridegroom may not
ever be like such men. We must hope some day to find a fuller text and so
to determine the connection of the various columns. But it is difficult to
imagine what else the text can be than part of a wedding-ceremony.
(M352) The young couple did not always set up a house of their own; they
often went to live with the bridegroom’s father. This is shown by the
penalty fixed by the Code for the seduction of a daughter-in-law by a
father-in-law. The daughter-in-law was living in his house.(297)
(M353) In the earlier days monogamy prevailed. A man ordinarily had one
wife. Polygamy, however, was not unknown. For a variety of reasons men did
sometimes have two wives, but these cases were treated as exceptions. A
man might also have a concubine or a slave-girl to bear him children.
These did not bear legitimate children. He might adopt them, but was not
bound to do so. If a man married twice, the children of both marriages
shared equally in his possessions; but they did not put their mothers’
marriage-portions into a common fund and divide that equally. The children
of the first wife divided among themselves their own mother’s
marriage-portion, and the children of the second marriage did
likewise.(298)
(M354) In Assyrian times there is clear evidence that among the slaves and
serfs, at least, polygamy was fairly common.(299) In the later Babylonian
era polygamy also existed. Wives might be sisters.(300) We read of a
“second wife.”(301) But taking a second wife was held to be a slight upon
the first, in whose marriage-contract the clause was inserted that in such
a case the husband must pay her a mina of silver and allow her to go back
to her father’s house. In that case the man was hardly bigamous. It was a
case of divorce, and perhaps a legal ceremony before judges was also
necessary.
(M355) A man might form a connection with a woman other than his wife. A
concubine was a free woman, but had not the status of a wife; nevertheless
she might bring with her a marriage-portion, over which she had the same
rights as a legal wife.(302) She was taken into the same house as the
wife, but she might not rival her. A man’s excuse for taking a concubine
was that his wife was childless. He was not allowed to take a concubine,
even if his wife was childless, if she gave him a maid to bear him
children. Only when the wife was herself childless and would not allow him
a maid, was he allowed to bring a concubine into his house. This second
wife was married to him. She often seems to have been bound to serve the
first wife and treat her as her mistress. But she had the same rights as a
wife. If she were put away, the husband had to return her
marriage-portion, if she had any. She had the usufruct of house, field,
and goods. She was not deprived of her children, but had the custody and
education of them. When they entered into possession of their father’s
property, she shared with them, taking the same share as a child. Then she
was free to marry again.(303) It seems that in any case, the children of a
concubine were full children and with the same standing as the children of
the first wife. The father might dower his daughter for a concubine; she
then had no claim to share with her brothers and sisters at his
death.(304) But, if her father had given her no marriage-portion, her
brothers must give her one at the division of his property.(305)