[Illustration: PROOF CONCLUSIVE.
Mediator: “He’s bin goin’ on like dat fer a week. He don’t get no
sleep, but keeps moanin’ an’ mentionin’ yer name.”
Lizzie: “Does he refuse his wittles?”
Mediator: “Oh, no!”
Lizzie: “Den it isn’t love w’ot’s a-worryin’ him. W’ot he wants is
exercise.”]
[Illustration: WHY IT WAS OFF.
“W’ot’s de matter, Billy--is de engagement broke off?”
“Yes; it’s no use payin’ intentions to a gal w’ot kin knock de head off
yer with a simple lick, an’ dat’s w’ot she come near doin’ de last time
I called on her. If I marries a gal I wants ter be boss, an’ if dere’s
any fightin’ to be did I wants ter be champion.”]
[Illustration: A GUILTY PALM.
“Feodora, yer have been a deceivin’ of me. Yer hand tells me yer have
been married twicet!”]
[Illustration: A BIT OF ROMANCE.
“What’s the matter, Tom--is yer engagement off?”
“Aye, Simeon, it’s the old, old story. Famerly interference,
mother-in-law, an’ all that sort o’ thing. It druv me ter drink, an’ I
become a wreck, an’ she--she took to the Salwation Army!”]
[Illustration: THAT’S WHY.
Boy (in background, to chum): “Why don’t yer go an’ knock de stuffin’
out un yer rival?”