[Illustration:
“What is it, Lizzie, a boy or a gal?”
“A gal.”
“Dear, dear me! There’s some one else who’s got to worry about gettin’
a husband.”]
[Illustration: A MYSTERY SOLVED.
“Clara, it’s the likes o’ them w’ot makes so many of us young bodies
ole maids. The fellers gets askeered o’ the milliners’ an’ the
dressmakers’ bills.”]
[Illustration: THE ONE THING LACKING.
Patsy: “W’ot do de gals admire uv dose milingtary chaps, I wonder?”
Jimmy: “It’s deir mustarchers, Patsy, deir mustarchers. If I had one
dat bloke wouldn’t be in it wid me.”]
[Illustration: HARD HIT.
Marriageable Young Man (on left): “What a wife such a woman would
make.”]
[Illustration:
Lillian: “’Ain’t that your brother?”
Maud: “Yes!”
Lillian: “Why don’t yer interdooce me?”
Maud: “He’s a misant’rope; he’s been crost in love, and he’s giv’ our
sex the cold shake!”]
[Illustration:
“Good morning, Adolph de Belfort. How comes it you are not at church
this fine Thanksgiving morn. Have you nothing to be thankful for?”
“For nothing as much as being able to count myself one of your most
ardent admirers, believe me!”]
[Illustration: A SURE WINNER.
Mentor (behind rock): “Hand her de bokay, Jimmy, an’ den t’row yerself
at her feet an’ tell her yer life is mizzerable, an’ dat yer’ll chuck
yerself in de ocean if she don’t have yer; an’ don’t forgit de sooicide
rackit. Dat fetches de wimmin every time.”]
[Illustration: C’EST L’AMOUR.
“Mary, there is warious kinds o’ love. There is that love wot never
wants nothin’ but love; then there’s a love wot’s simply lovely, it’s
so pure an’ good. Such a love is like the stars wot shines in the
infirmary in circumambulance space, an’ this is the hour for love, the
sunset hour. Do you remember Gray’s ‘Elegy’ begins with the line ‘Wot
Curtius told to Nell at parting day’?”]
[Illustration:
“Look at me, Lizzie; the gal wot gets me’ll have a snap, for I don’t
chew, smoke, or git drunk!”]
[Illustration: IN A TERRIBLE FIX.
Young and Bashful Admirer: “If she should turn ’round and say to me
that she loves me as she does that doll, what would I say?”]
[Illustration: A TRYING MOMENT.
Maggie: “Lizzie, wuz you ever kissed?”
Lizzie: “Only wunst in my life, an’ that wuz when I wuz in the
horspital wid a broken arm; an old lady kissed me an’ I blushed like a
child!”]
[Illustration: IN SUSPENSE.
Genevieve (at upper window): “Them’s Teddy’s legs if ever Teddy lived;
what could ha happened; I wonder could he have committed soo-incide
’cause I rejected him this mornin’?”
(No! The afternoon was warm, and Teddy was taking a siesta.)]
[Illustration: TO STOP GOSSIPS’ TONGUES.
Horatio (to Lucretia): “As our engagement is not made public yet,
you had better let go o’ my arm when we get a little nearer to the
village!”]
[Illustration:
“Tommy, the doctors is sayin’ that kissin’ is apt to breed sickness!”
“I know. But we men have to take risks in everythink!”]
[Illustration: NOT DEAD SURE OF HER.
“I wonder if she’d sic de dorg on me if I wuz ter fall on me knees an’
tell her I love her?”]
[Illustration:
“In this stocking, Letitia, you will find the hard savings of my
lifetime,--two half-dollars, a silver spoon, a briarwood pipe, and
a bottle of red ink; not much, I will admit, but enough to start
house-keeping with if you will only say the word!”
“Reginald Overbeck, you embarrass me! Think of the difference in our
ages,--what will the world say?--take me, I am your’n!”]
[Illustration: NO TRIFLERS WANTED.
She: “I don’t mind walking with you, but for goodness’ sake don’t say
you love me and ask me to wait for you--they all do that. If there’s
any waiting to be done, wait yourself until you’re a man, and then come
right down to business.”]
[Illustration: HOME, SWEET HOME.
“Look, Adelaide, look! The boat is ready! Let us fly to yon foreign
shore!”
“Marmion Bludwurst, your appeal is in vain; I kinnot leave my home. It
is unpossible!”]
[Illustration: CHANGED HER OPINION.
Ethelwynde: “They say she married a common mechanic.”
Heliotroype: “Common, Ethelwynde? Why, he had spent all his life in a
bicycle manufactory!”
Ethelwynde: “Oh, heavens! Although a man-hater for years, I feel that I
could love such a man as that with my innermost soul!”]
[Illustration: PATRIOTIC.
Boy (reading “Personals”): “A young man of means wishes to meet a young
and attractive lady who would be willing to marry and spend part of the
year abroad.”
Young Lady (matrimonially inclined): “That’d suit me izzackly,
exceptin’ the livin’ abroad. I’d rather go roun’ wid me basket in
America, dan be presented to de nobility in London.”]
[Illustration: T’ROWN DOWN.]
[Illustration:
“Genevieve Cassidy, you ask me why I have brought you to this spot.
Look! That ball of snow contains the body of my rival, Homer Gallagher.
The vengeance I have wroke on him fills my heart with joy, for I feel I
am a step nearer my one great ambition.”]
[Illustration:
He: “Hortense Vaseline Debris, from this hour henceforwardforth we
ain’t to each other what we wuz a week ago. I brand yer as a flirt an’
a croquet!”