21st. About three o’clock, the Emperor called for his calash. He sent
for me, and we walked together to the bottom of the wood where he had
ordered the carriage to take him up. I had some particulars of no great
moment to communicate, which personally concerned him. We observed, in
the course of our ride, two vessels under sail for the island.
At dinner, the Emperor was very talkative. He had been just employed on
his campaign in Egypt, which he had, for some time, neglected, and
which, he said, would be as interesting as an episode of romance. In
speaking of his position at St. Jean d’Acre, he observed:—It was
certainly a daring thing to post myself thus in the heart of Syria, with
only 12,000 men. I was 500 leagues from Desaix, who formed the other
extremity of my army. It has been related, by Sydney Smith, that I lost
18,000 men before Acre, although my army consisted but of 12,000. An
obscure person, M...., who had just left college, as it seemed, who
knows nothing of what he describes, and whose only talent is that of
tacking some sentences together, with a view, no doubt, of converting
them to his emolument, the brother, however, of one whom I have loaded
with favours, and who was one of my Council of State, has recently
published something on that subject, on which I have cast a glance, and
which vexes me on account of its silliness and the unfavourable
colouring which he endeavours to throw over the glory and exploits of
that army.
“Had I been master of the sea, I should have been master of the East,
and the thing was so practicable that it failed only through the
stupidity or bad conduct of some seamen.
“Volney, who travelled in Egypt before the revolution, had stated his
opinion that that country could not be occupied without three great
wars, against England, the Grand Signor, and the inhabitants. The
latter, in particular, seemed difficult and terrible to him. He was
altogether mistaken in that respect, for it gave us no trouble. We had
even succeeded in making friends of the inhabitants, in the course of a
short time, and of uniting their cause with ours. A handful of Frenchmen
had thus been sufficient to conquer that fine country, which they ought
never to have lost. We had actually accomplished prodigies in war and in
politics. Our undertaking was altogether different from the crusades;
the crusaders were innumerable and hurried on by fanaticism. My army, on
the contrary, was very small, and the soldiers were so far from being
prepossessed in favour of the enterprise that, at first, they were
frequently tempted to carry off the colours and return. I had, however,
succeeded in familiarizing them with the country, which supplied every
thing in abundance, and at so cheap a rate that I was one time on the
point of placing them on half-pay for the purpose of laying by the other
half for them. I had acquired such an ascendancy over them, that I
should have been able, by a mere order of the day, to make them
Mahometan. They would have treated it as a joke, the population would
have been gratified, and the very Christians of the East would have
considered themselves gainers, and approved it, knowing that we could do
nothing better for them and for ourselves.
“The English were struck with consternation at seeing us in possession
of Egypt. We exposed to Europe the certain means of wresting India from
them. They have not yet dismissed their apprehensions, and they are in
the right. If 40 or 50,000 European families ever succeed in
establishing their industry, laws, and government in Egypt, India will
be more effectually lost to the English by the commanding influence of
circumstances than by the force of arms.”
In the course of the evening, the Grand Marshal put the Emperor in mind
of one of his conversations with Monge, the mathematician, at Cutakié,
in the midst of the desert. “What do you think of all this, citizen
Monge?” said Napoleon.—“Why, citizen general,” answered Monge, “I think,
if there are ever seen in this place as many equipages as at the Opera
house, there must first be some wonderful revolutions on the globe.” The
Emperor laughed very heartily at the recollection. He had, however, he
observed, a carriage with six horses on the spot. It was unquestionably
the first of the kind that travelled over the desert, and accordingly it
very much surprised the Arabs.
The Emperor remarked that the desert always had a peculiar influence on
his feelings. He had never crossed it without being subject to a certain
emotion. To him, he said, it was an image of immensity: it seemed to
have no bounds, neither beginning nor end; it was an ocean on terra
firma. His imagination was delighted with the sight, and he took
pleasure in drawing our attention to the observation that Napoleon meant
_Lion of the Desert_!...
The Emperor also told us that, when he was in Syria, it was a settled
opinion at Cairo that he never would be seen there again, and he noticed
the thievery and impudence of a little Chinese, who was one of his
servants. “It was,” said he, “a little deformed dwarf, whom Josephine
once took a fancy to at Paris. He was the only Chinese in France;
thenceforth she would always have him behind her carriage. She took him
to Italy, but as he was in the constant habit of pilfering, she wished
to get rid of him. With that view, I took him with me on my Egyptian
expedition. Egypt was a lift to him half-way on his journey. This little
monster was entrusted with the care of my cellar, and I had no sooner
crossed the desert than he sold, at a very low price, 2000 bottles of
capital claret. His only object was to make money, convinced that I
should never come back. He was not at all disconcerted at my return, but
came eagerly to meet me, and acquainted me, as he said, like a faithful
servant, with the loss of my wine. The robbery was so glaring that he
was himself compelled to confess it. I was much urged to have him
hanged, but I refused, because, in strict justice, I ought to have done
as much to those in embroidered clothes, who had knowingly bought and
drunk the wine. I contented myself with discharging and sending him to
Suez, where he was at liberty to do what he pleased.”
On this subject I must observe that we were induced, in this place, to
give momentary credit to a very singular coincidence. We were informed a
few months ago, that on board one of the Chinese traders, which were
then off the island, on their return to Europe, there was a Chinese, who
said he had been in the Emperor’s service in Egypt. The Emperor
instantly exclaimed, that it must be his little thief, whose story I
have just told; but it was, in fact, a cook of Kleber’s.
The Emperor put a sudden stop to the conversation, and, with more gaiety
than usual, turning to Madame Bertrand, said with a smile, “When shall
you be at your apartments in the Tuileries? When will you give your
splendid dinners to the ambassadors? But you will be obliged, at least,
I am told so, to have new furniture, for it is reported that the
fashions have entirely changed.” The conversation then naturally turned
on the magnificence and luxury which we had witnessed under the Emperor.
PATERNAL ADVICE—REMARKABLE CONVERSATION—CAGLIOSTRO;
MESMER, GALL, LAVATER, &C.
22nd.—The Emperor came to my apartment about 10 o’clock, and took me out
to walk. We all breakfasted under the trees. The weather was delightful,
and the heat, though great, was not unwholesome. The Emperor ordered his
calash; two of us were with him, and the third accompanied us on
horseback. The Grand Marshal could not attend. The Emperor recurred to
some misunderstanding which had taken place among us a few days before.
He took a view of our situation and our natural wants;—“You are bound,”
said he, “when you are one day restored to the world, to consider
yourselves as _brothers_, on my account. My memory will dictate this
conduct to you. Be so, then, from this moment!” He next described how we
might be of mutual advantage to each other, the sufferings we had it in
our power to alleviate, &c. It was, at once, a family and moral lesson,
a lesson of feeling and conduct. It ought to have been written in
letters of gold. It lasted nearly an hour and a quarter, and will, I
think, never be forgotten by any of us. For myself, not only the
principles and the words, but the tone, the expression, the action, and
above all, the heart with which he delivered them, will never be
forgotten by me.
About five o’clock, the Emperor entered my apartment where I was
employed with my son, on the chapter of the battle of Arcole. He had
something to say to me, and I followed him to the garden, where he
resumed, at great length, the conversation that had taken place in the
calash....
We now dined in the old topographical cabinet, adjoining to that of the
Emperor, and the apartment formerly occupied by Montholon’s family,
which, with the help of the books and shelves lately received from
England, was converted into a tolerable library.
As the damage done by the fire in the saloon was long in repairing, we
were obliged to continue at table in our new dining-room until the
Emperor withdrew. This circumstance, however, gave additional interest
to the conversation.
The Emperor was very communicative to-day. The conversation turned on
dreams, presentiments, and foresights, which the English call _second
sight_. We exhausted every common-place topic, ordinarily connected with
these objects, and came at last to speak of sorcerers and ghosts. The
Emperor concluded with observing, “All these quackeries, and many
others, such as those of Cagliostro, Mesmer, Gall, Lavater, &c. are
destroyed by this sole and simple argument: _All that may exist, but it
does not exist._
“Man is fond of the marvellous; it has for him irresistible
fascinations; he is ever ready to abandon what is near at hand, to run
after what is fabricated for him. He voluntarily gives way to delusion.
The truth is, that every thing about us is a wonder. There is nothing
which can be properly called a phenomenon. Every thing in nature is a
phenomenon. My existence is a phenomenon. The wood that is put on the
fire and warms me, is a phenomenon; that candle yonder, which gives me
light, is a phenomenon. All the first causes, my understanding, my
faculties, are phenomena; for they all exist and we cannot define them.
I take leave of you here,” said he, “and lo! I am at Paris, entering my
box at the Opera. I bow to the audience; I hear their acclamations; I
see the performers; I listen to the music. But if I can bound over the
distance from Saint Helena, why should I not bound over the distance of
centuries? Why should I not see the future as well as the past? Why
should the one be more extraordinary, more wonderful, than the other?
The only reason is, that it does not exist. This is the argument which
will always annihilate, without the possibility of reply, all visionary
wonders. All these quacks deal in very ingenious speculations; their
reasoning may be just and seductive, but their conclusions are false,
because they are unsupported by facts.
“Mesmer and Mesmerism have never recovered from the blow dealt at them
by the report of Bailly on behalf of the Academy of Sciences. Mesmer
produced effects upon a person by magnetizing him to his face, yet the
same person, magnetized behind, without his knowing it, experienced no
effect whatever. It was therefore, on his part, an error of the
imagination, a debility of the senses; it was the act of the somnabule,
who, at night runs along the roof without danger, because he is not
afraid; but who would break his neck in the day, because his senses
would confound him.
“I once attacked the quack Puységur, on his somnabulism, at one of my
public audiences. He would have assumed a very lofty tone: I brought him
down to his proper level with only these words: If your doctrine is so
instructive, let it tell us something new! Mankind will, no doubt, make
very great progress in the next two hundred years; let it specify any
single improvement which is to take place within that period! Let it
tell me what I shall do within the following week! Let it declare the
numbers of the lottery, which will be drawn to-morrow!
“I behaved in the same manner to Gall, and contributed very much to the
discredit of his theory. Corvisart was his principal follower. He and
his colleagues have a great propensity to materialism, which is
calculated to strengthen their theory and influence. But nature is not
so poor. Were she so clumsy as to make herself known by external forms,
we should do our business more promptly and know a great deal more. Her
secrets are more subtle, more delicate, more evanescent, and have
hitherto escaped the most minute researches. We find a great genius in a
little hunchback; and a man, with a fine commanding person, turns out to
be a stupid fellow. A big head, with a large brain, is sometimes
destitute of a single idea; while a small brain is found to possess a
vast understanding. And observe the imbecility of _Gall_. He attributes
to certain protuberances propensities and crimes, which are not in
nature, but arise solely from society and the conventional usages of
mankind. What would become of the protuberance of theft, if there were
no property; of drunkenness, if there were no fermented liquors; and of
ambition, if there were no society?
“The same remarks apply to that egregious charlatan, Lavater, with his
physical and moral relations. Our credulity lies in the defect of our
nature. It is inherent in us to wish for the acquisition of positive
ideas, when we ought, on the contrary, to be carefully on our guard
against them. We scarcely look at a man’s features, before we pretend to
know his character. We should be wise enough to repel the idea and to
neutralize those deceitful appearances. I was robbed by a person who had
grey eyes, and from that moment am I never to look at grey eyes without
the idea, the fear, of being robbed? A weapon wounded me, and I am
afraid of it wherever I see it; but was it the grey eyes that robbed me?
Reason and experience, and I have been enabled to derive great benefit
from both, prove that all those external signs are so many lies; that we
cannot be too strictly on our guard against them, and that the only true
way of appreciating and gaining a thorough knowledge of mankind is by
trying and associating with them. After all, we meet with countenances
so hideous, it must be allowed,” (and as an instance he described one;
it was that of the governor,) “that the most powerful understanding is
confounded, and condemns them in spite of itself.”