"In my housemaid's cupboard," she said proudly, "you will find no pieces

of sodden rag, no tins of sticky brass paste, or that unpleasant saucer

that sprinkles pink dust over everything within reach. We have banished

all that in favour of--ah, Penelope, my dear, run and ask Sarah for one

of my new cleaning-cloths, will you?"

In the doorway stood Penelope, mockery shining from her eyes.

"And you dare to tell me that tact is more useful in the home than a

sense of humour!" she cried, in a voice that thrilled with scorn.

"At all events," I retorted, "you must admit that Napoleon----"

Penelope went hastily to fetch her mother's new cleaning-cloth.

XIII

The Game that wasn't Cricket

Down the alley where I happen to live, playtime draws a sharp line

between the sexes. It is not so noticeable during working hours, when

girls and boys, banded together by the common grievance of compulsory

education, trot off to school almost as allies, even hand-in-hand in

those cases where protection is sought from the little girl by the

little boy who raced her into the world and lost--or won--by half a

length. But when school is over sex antagonism, largely fostered by the

parent, immediately sets in. Knowing the size of the average back yard

in my neighbourhood, I have plenty of sympathy for the mother who wishes

to keep it clear of children. But I always want to know why, in order to

secure this privacy, she gives the boy a piece of bread-and-dripping and

a ball, while the girl is given a piece of bread-and-dripping and a

baby. And I have not yet decided which of the two toys is the more

destructive of my peace.

Every evening during the summer, cricket is played just below my window

in the hour preceding sunset. Cricket, as played in my alley, is less

noisy than football, in which anything that comes handy as a substitute

for the ball may be used, preferably an old, jagged salmon-tin. But

cricket lasts longer, the nerves of the parents whose windows overlook

the cricket ground being able to stand it better. As the best working

hour of my day is destroyed equally by both, I have no feeling either

way, except that the cricket, as showing a more masterly evasion of

difficulties, appeals to me rather more. It is comparatively easy to

achieve some resemblance to a game of football even in a narrow strip of

pavement bordered by houses, where you can place one goal in the porch

of the model dwellings at the blind end of the alley, and the other goal

among the motor traffic at the street end. But first-class cricket is

more difficult of attainment when the field is so crowded as to make it

hard to decide which player out of three or four has caught you out,

while your only chance of not being run out first ball is to take the

wicket with you--always a possibility when the wicket is somebody's coat

that has a way of getting mixed up with the batsman's feet.

In spite of obstacles, however, the cricket goes on every evening before

sunset; and all the while, the little girl who tripped to school on such

a gay basis of equality with her brother only a few hours back, sits on

the doorstep minding the baby. I do not say that she actively objects to

this; I only know with acute certainty that the baby objects to it, and

for a long time I felt that it would be at least interesting to see

what would happen if the little girl were to stand up at the wicket for

a change while her brother dealt with the baby.

And the other evening this did happen. A mother, making one of those

sorties from the domestic stronghold, that in my alley always have the

effect of bringing a look of guilt into the faces of the innocent,

shouted something I did not hear, picked up the wicket, cuffed

somebody's head with it and made him put it on, gave the baby to a

brother, and sent his sister off to the oil-shop with a jar in one hand

and a penny tightly clasped in the other. The interruption over, the

scattered field re-formed automatically, somebody else's jacket was made

into a mound, and cricket was resumed with the loss of one player, who,

by the way, showed an astonishing talent for minding the baby.

Then the little girl came back from the oil-shop. I know not what spirit

of revolt entered suddenly her small, subdued soul; perhaps the sight of

a boy minding the baby suggested an upheaval of the universe that

demanded her instant co-operation; perhaps she had no distinct idea in

her mind beyond a wish to rebel. Whatever her reasons, there she stood,

bat in hand, waiting for the ball, while the baby crowed delightedly in

the unusual embrace of a boy who, by all the laws of custom, was

unsexing himself.

Another instant, and the air was rent with sound and fury. In front of

the wicket stood the Spirit of Revolt, with tumbled hair and defiant

eyes, breathless with much running, intoxicated with success; around

her, an outraged cricket team, strong in the conventions of a lifetime,

was protesting fiercely.

What had happened was quite simple. Grasping in an instant of time the

only possible way of eluding the crowd of fielders in the narrow space,

the little impromptu batswoman had done the obvious thing and struck the

ball against the wall high over their heads, whence it bounded into the

open street and got lost in the traffic. Then she ran till she could run

no more. Why wasn't it fair? she wanted to know.

"'Cause it ain't--there!" was one illuminating reply.

"'Cause we don't never play that way," was another upon which she was

quick to pounce.

"You never thought of it, that's why!" she retorted shrewdly.

She was desperately outnumbered. It was magnificent, but it wasn't

cricket; moreover, her place was the doorstep, as she was speedily

reminded when the door reopened and avenging motherhood once more

swooped down upon the scene. A shake here, a push there--and the boy was

back again at the wicket, while a weeping baby lay unheeded on the lap

of a weeping Spirit of Revolt.

And the queer thing is that the innovation made by the small batswoman

in her one instant of wild rebellion has now been adopted by the team

that plays cricket down my alley, every evening before sunset.

XIV

Dissension in the Home

"I should be delighted to get up a meeting for you in my house," said

the enthusiastic new recruit. "I always have said that women who paid

rates and taxes--I beg your pardon? Oh, speakers--of course, speakers!

Well, they must be the very best you have; people get so easily bored,

don't they? And that's so bad for the cause." She reflected an instant,

then fired off the names of three famous Suffragettes and was astonished

to hear that the well-known leaders rarely had time to address

drawing-room meetings.

"Isn't that rather a mistake?" she suggested, with the splendid

effrontery of the new recruit. "It is so important to attract the

leisured woman who won't go to public meetings for fear of being stuck

with a hatpin. I'm really afraid my crowd won't come unless they see a

name they know on the cards." Finding that this made no appeal to one

who had heard it often before, she asked in a resigned tone if a window

breaker would be available. "If I could put on the invitation card--'Why

I broke a Prime Minister's window, by One who has done it,' they'd come

in flocks. No, it wouldn't matter _much_ if she had broken somebody

else's window. As long as she had broken something--do _you_ speak, by

the way? Your voice is hardly strong enough, perhaps?"

The suffrage organiser, hoarse with having held two open-air meetings a

day for the past week, admitted that she did speak sometimes. "I've been

to prison too, if that is any good," she added cynically.

The cynicism was unperceived. "Have you? But that will be perfectly

delightful! Can I promise them that you will speak about picking oakum

and doing the treadmill? Oh, don't they? I thought all the Suffragettes

picked oakum in Holloway, and that was why they--never mind! You've

really eaten skilly, and that ought to fetch them, if anything will. The

Chair? Oh, I really don't think I _could_;--I should die of terror, I

know I should. What should I have to do? Yes, I suppose I could tell

them why I want a vote. I always have said that women who paid rates and

taxes--yes, Wednesday at nine o'clock. You'll come and dine first, won't

you? It's so good for the unconverted to meet you at dinner, just to see

that you do know how to hold a knife and fork. My husband is so very

much opposed; I like to do all I can in a _quiet_ way to show him that

the Suffragettes are _not_ all--can't you really? Well, come as early as

you can; I shall be simply dead with nervousness if I'm left

unsupported. By the way, you'll wear your most feminine frock, won't

you? I hope you don't mind my mentioning it, but it is so important to

impress the leisured woman--to say nothing of my husband! I am so

anxious to avoid causing dissension in the home; I think that would be

_wrong_, don't you? Of course, I shall let them all think that you may

turn up in goloshes and spectacles; it will make the contrast all the

greater, and that is so good for the cause!"

"Mrs. Fontenella wants to give a drawing-room meeting," said the

organiser, when she returned to the office. "She seems to have a curious

set of friends who look upon suffrage as a sort of music hall

entertainment; so she wants me to speak because I have picked oakum in

Holloway, and you, because you have broken something. I think she must

be an Anti by birth."

"Oh, no," answered the woman who had broken something. "She is really a

Suffragette by birth, and only an Anti by marriage. I am glad we have

won her back again."

"Then why does she talk as if we were all mountebanks?" asked the other,

unconvinced.

The breaker of Government plate glass shook her head slowly. "I don't

know," she said. "I think, perhaps, it may be because she has lived

eleven years with somebody from whom she is obliged to conceal what she

really feels about things."

"She isn't obliged to conceal anything; nobody is!" cried the organiser,

hotly. "If these people had the courage to show fight--"

"They have--when the fight is worth it," struck in the older woman.

"Those are just the people whose courage is inexhaustible, when real

courage is required. I don't know why it is so, unless it is that they

haven't wasted it over things that don't matter, and so they have a

reserve fund to draw upon for a great occasion. That's the best of a

cause like ours--it furnishes them with the great occasion."

"Mrs. Fontenella's reserve fund must be colossal," said the organiser,

still unconvinced.

The audience that was lured to Mrs. Fontenella's house on Wednesday

evening by a prospect of meeting two eccentric females who had been to

gaol--doubtless because they richly deserved it--was composed of the

elements that usually go to make up such audiences. It was very rich,

very idle, very limited; it was polite by education and rather insolent

by nature; and, with the exception of one or two of the men, who nursed

an academic belief in the woman's vote because they hoped that under

masculine influence it might be used to strengthen the right political

party, it was not interested in politics. The men were there because

they thought it was a sporting idea of the most popular hostess in their

set to pretend to be a Suffragette; and the women were there to show

their disapproval of a shrieking minority, who, for the sake of

notoriety, were rapidly destroying the ideal of womanhood that had been

implanted in every Englishman's breast by his mother;--at least, those

were the reasons they gave one another for being there, as they sat in

rows on gilded upright chairs, waiting for the fun to begin. When it did

begin, they experienced a distinct sensation of having been cheated of

their entertainment.

It was not that they found it difficult to recognise the most popular

hostess they knew in the apologetic lady who stood up, glittering with

gems, against an expensive background of hothouse plants, and read out

platitudes from a type-written paper in a high-pitched, jerky voice;

though everything was wrong in that opening speech from the Chair. It

was flippant without being funny; it threw up defences where it should

have attacked; it jarred where it should have conciliated. One at least

of the two women who shared the platform with her, chafing under the

huge mistake of her speech, felt inclined to agree with the audience

that the speaker was only pretending to be a Suffragette. It was not

this that disappointed the audience, however. It had expected nothing

else from one of its own set, who was obviously unfitted both by nature

and upbringing to sustain a part that she had only assumed because it

was something new--just as she might have hired a pianola or a

gramophone when these two were novelties. But it was not fair to invite

people to meet two hooligans who had fought with policemen, and then to

confront them with two normal looking, normally dressed women, of whom

it was impossible to believe anything that was not consistent with

breeding and good form. Disappointment grew when the faltering little

speech of the Chairman came to an end, and the younger of the two

Suffragettes, with a fleeting glance at her notes, rose to her feet. A

woman who had picked oakum and defied wardresses--their hostess had

omitted no detail likely to attract her "crowd"--had no right to a

soft, humorous voice, or to an educated accent. Entertainment there was

of a sort; for the most obdurate Anti-suffragist could scarcely have

remained proof against the wit and good temper of the girl who stood

there, undaunted by the atmosphere of opposition that filled the room,

turning the laugh against her opponents with every point that she made.

Still, it was not the kind of entertainment they had been led to expect,

and a certain amount of discomfiture mingled with the laughter and the

applause that she won by the time she sat down.

Then the older woman, the one who had broken windows, took her place.

There was nothing conciliatory, nothing amusing in what she said. She

did not raise a laugh once; she uttered no sort of appeal; she never so

much as hinted at an apology for what she and other women like her had

felt impelled to do. She made some of her listeners angry; some of them

she moved deeply; others she greatly perplexed; but she left none of

them precisely where they had been when she began to speak, and when she

sat down there was hardly any applause. Nearly every man in the room was

staring at his boots; the women played with their lace and their rings,

avoiding one another's eyes. A few were horribly ashamed of having tears

in theirs.

The Chairman did not rise for a moment or two. She was scribbling

something rapidly on a piece of paper, which she twisted up and sent

down the length of the brilliantly lighted room to a man who stood

lounging carelessly in the doorway. He untwisted it with extreme

deliberation, crushed it up in his hand when he had read it, and looked

his wife straight in the eyes, across the backs of the waiting people in

the chairs. She met his look for just two seconds before she stood up

and cleared her throat.

The rows of people in the chairs stirred with a sensation of relief.

Eloquence and wit, they knew, were not in the repertory of Mrs.

Fontenella when she was posing as a Suffragette; but at least she could

be counted upon not to make them feel uncomfortable. When she stood

there silent, gripping the table with both hands and looking straight

down the room, along the road that her twisted scrap of paper had taken

to the man in the doorway, they began to think something was a little

wrong.

Did she, realising that the last speaker had overstepped the limits of

good taste, feel incapable of dealing with the situation? It was

certainly a little awkward for her to continue to occupy the Chair,

under the circumstances.

"Ask for questions," prompted the organiser who sat on her left; and she

pushed the agenda paper towards her, thinking she was nervous and could

think of nothing to say.

Mrs. Fontenella was not nervous. She glanced round at her prompter with

a reassuring smile and brushed aside the agenda paper. Then she faced

the crowd she had brought there under false pretences, and gave them the

second shock they had received that evening.

"Friends," she said, in a voice that no longer faltered or apologised,

a voice that was pitched exactly right and held her listeners strangely,

"the last speaker has told us that another deputation of women will try

to reach the presence of the Prime Minister, next week. You know what

that means--almost certain imprisonment for the women who go on that

deputation, but also a certain chance for every one of us to do

something towards winning a great reform. I am going on that deputation.

Which of you will come with me?"

Those who managed furtively to look round at the man in the doorway,

were extremely puzzled by the interested smile he wore.

* * * * *

"You were right about that woman, and I was utterly wrong," confessed

the organiser, as she walked away from the house with the other speaker.

"I do hope she won't have a bad time with that Anti husband of hers!"

"You never know," said her companion, who had seen the interested smile

of the man in the doorway. "That's the blessed thing about

marriage;--you never know."

"What!" exclaimed the younger woman. "Do you mean to say he is a

Suffragette by birth, too?"

"No," was the reply. "I should say he was an Anti by birth; but I think

he may be a Suffragette by marriage, though I doubt if he or his wife

had found it out until to-night."

In a long and brilliantly lighted drawing-room, desolate with its rows

of empty chairs, the popular hostess who was also a Suffragette stood

alone with the man whose smile had puzzled every one who saw it,

half-an-hour ago, except the woman who had broken windows.

"It's simply magnificent of you," said his wife.

He took a walk round and moved some of the expensive hothouse plants. "I

hate these things," he said. "Why do we have them? Let's open some more

windows and get rid of the smell."

She laughed, and watched him go across to manipulate blinds and bolts.

"You are always the same man I married, even when you are quite

different, as you were this evening," she remarked, with equal

inconsequence.

"You're not the same woman as the one I married!" he shot back at her.

"But I am!" she cried. "I am, I am! And that's the whole point!"

He looked round at her, the smile back in his face. "Perhaps it is," he

said. "Perhaps it is. Pity we've both missed it for eleven years, isn't

it?"

THE END

THE MARTYRDOM OF MAN

BY

WINWOOD READE

_Cloth. 12mo. $1.50 net. Postage 15 cents_

_A Biographical Sketch of the Author and an Estimate of his Work. Also

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Egypt--Western Asia--The Greeks--The Macedonians--The Natural History of

Religion--The Israelites--The Jews--The Character of Jesus--The

Character of Mahomet--Ancient Europe--The Slave Trade--Abolition in

Europe--Abolition in America--Animal Period of the Earth--The Future of

the Human Race--The Religion of Reason and Love.

SOCIALISM AND SUCCESS

Some Uninvited Messages

BY

W. J. GHENT

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"Socialism and Success" bears a pertinent message "To the Seekers of

Success," "To the Reformers," "To the Retainers," "To Some Socialists,"

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Every reader will find food for thought in its keen analysis of motives,

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This is a book that will cause controversy, a book that hits hard at

human foibles, a book that will win high praise and severe censure. No

socialist or non-socialist can afford to miss the live argument and

pithy suggestion contained in its pages.

BERNARD SHAW

AS ARTIST-PHILOSOPHER

BY RENEE M. DEACON

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*.* A brief account of the Shavian philosophy, in which the main trend

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*.* "Perhaps the best examination of Bernard Shaw that has been

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"Full of quick and suggestive ideas. Many will gain a new and perhaps a

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work."--_Chicago Record-Herald._

SOCIALISM AND SUPERIOR BRAINS

BY BERNARD SHAW

_Cloth. 16mo. 75 cents net. Postage 10 cents_

Portrait frontispiece by the author. A new book by Bernard Shaw, dealing

with the following topics:

The Able Author.

The Able Inventor.

Ability at Supply-and-Demand Prices.

The Ability that Gives Value for Money.

Waste of Ability and Inflation of Its Prices by the Rich.

Artificial Rent of Ability.

Artificial Ability.

How Little Really Goes to Ability, etc., etc.

"Written with that matchless virility for which Mr. Shaw is so famous.

Socialism has never had, and probably never will have, a better and

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MODERN WOMAN AND HOW TO

MANAGE HER

BY

WALTER M. GALLICHAN

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SOME OF THE TOPICS DISCUSSED

The Duel in Love

The War in Wedlock

The Battle in Politics

The Strife in Breadwinning

The Feud in the Family, etc.

"A book for a host of men to read, and one that a number of them will

chuckle heartily over. An education in itself for almost all men, and,

we would say, the modern woman."--_Tourist Magazine._

"A keen, clear-eyed study of many important questions relating to women

and, therefore, to the life of to-day and the life of the

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"Has many unusual features and is never dull."--_New Orleans Picayune._

"Should be in every household."--_Boston Herald._

"Very amusing."--_The Smart Set._

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never dull."--_San Francisco Bulletin._

* * * * *

Transcriber's Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

'oe' ligatures have been changed to read simply 'oe'.

Italics in the text have been replaced by _underscores_.

Table of Contents: Error in original lists 'Chapter XIII.'

as starting on page 119; changed to 118 to match actual

starting page in book.

Page 7: Word 'due' added to text (impossibility due to)

Page 120: Phrase 'hat in hand' changed to 'bat in hand'

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