When I looked at my companion I was almost appalled at my audacity.
Think of the face you love the best in this world--the face that you
never can behold without a beating heart--which you dwell on with
rapture, which is the object of your waking and your sleeping dreams!
Ah! quite as charming as such looked Hanne in her pink gingham
morning-dress, with a little blue handkerchief tied carelessly round
her throat, and a becoming white bonnet. She was irresistible!
We strayed here and there like two children; plucked flowers to teach
each other their botanical names; gathered a whole handful to commence
a herbarium, and threw them away again to chase some gaudy butterfly.
Then we sauntered on slowly, and Hanne communicated many little things
to me of which she thought her cousin ought to be informed; and at
length I began to fancy that I actually was the real cousin Carl. Of
all the young girls that ever I beheld, Hanne was the most delightful;
such grace, such vivacity, such naivete, were not to be met with either
in Copenhagen or in Hamburg.
'It is a pity Jette could not accompany you,' said she; 'but to-morrow,
probably, her headache will be gone.'
I assured her that I did not regret Jette's absence, since I had _her_
company.
'That is a pretty declaration from a bridegroom who has allowed himself
to be waited for eleven years,' said Hanne.
'Jette did not look as if she were glad at my arrival.'
'You must not think anything of that; she has looked out of spirits for
a month past, at least: she is apt to be melancholy at times, but it
passes off. Her character is sedate. She is much better, therefore,
than I am, or than anyone I know. You can hardly fancy how good she
is.'
'But I want a lively wife, for I am myself of a very gay disposition,'
said I.
'That is not what we thought you were,' replied my fair companion. 'We
always looked upon you as a quiet, grave, somewhat heavy young man, and
you have been described to us as a most tedious, wearisome person. I
used often to pity Jette in my own mind; for a stupid, humdrum man is
the greatest bore on earth. But I do not pity her anymore, now.'
I could have kissed her, I was so pleased.
'So you thought of me with fear and disgust, you two poor girls? Pray,
who painted my portrait so nicely?'
'Why, your own father did; and the letter which you wrote Jette when
she was confirmed, and when you sent her the betrothal-ring, did not at
all improve our opinion of you. I'll tell you what, Carl; that was a
miserable epistle. It was with the utmost difficulty that my father
prevailed on Jette to answer it, when she was obliged to send you a
ring in return. However, you were little more than a boy then--it is
long ago, and it was all forgotten when we never heard again from you.
I can venture to affirm that Jette has not thought six times about you
in the six years that have elapsed since that time--and perhaps this is
lucky for you. It was not until your father wrote us that you had come
home, and until he began to bombard Jette with presents and messages
from you, that you were mentioned again among us; but my father never
could bear our laughing at your renowned epistle.'
I listened with the utmost avidity to every little circumstance that
could elucidate the part I had taken upon myself to play. In this
conversation I learned more than I could have gathered the whole
morning.
'It is very absurd to betroth children to each other. What should they
know of love?' said Hanne.
'It is more than absurd, Hanne; it is positive barbarity. It is
trampling the most sacred feelings and rights under foot.'
'Nevertheless you may thank God for that barbarity,' said she; 'without
it you would never have got Jette. She has plenty of admirers.'
'Indeed! And who are they, if I may take the liberty of asking? You
make me quite jealous.'
'Oh, I have observed that both the young clergyman at ---- Town and
Gustav Holm are much attached to her. And Jette has no dislike to
Gustav.'
'Who is Gustav Holm? He appears to be the most dangerous.'
'He is learning farming, or rather, I ought to say, agricultural
affairs, with a country gentleman not far from this. He has been coming
to our house now about three years; I think, and I could wager a large
sum, that it is for Jette's sake.'
'Or for your own, little Hanne?'
'Pshaw! nonsense! If anyone were dangling here after me, I should make
no secret of it. Jette is a greater favourite than I am, and she
deserves to be so.'
'But perhaps Jette cares more for Gustav Holm than for me, whom she
really does not know?'
One often asks a question in this hypocritical world about what one
knows best oneself.
'No, oh no! That would be a sad affair. Has she not been engaged to you
for eleven years, and is she not going to be married to you?'
'But if you had been in Jette's place, how would you have felt?'
'I would perhaps have preferred ... No, I don't think I would though.
But I am not so mild and amiable as Jette; and the day that I was
confirmed no one should have imposed a betrothal-ring upon me, I can
assure you, sir; and, least of all, accompanied by such an elegant
billet as yours.'
Hanne picked up a blade of grass, formed it into a string, and twisting
it round her finger in an artistic manner, made it into a knot.
'Can you make such?' said she.
I tried it, but could not succeed, and she took hold of my hand to do
it for me.
'But how is this, Carl?' she exclaimed. 'Where is your betrothal-ring?'
'It is ... I have ... I wear it attached to a ribbon round my neck; ...
it annoyed me to have to answer the many questions it was the cause of
my being asked. Therefore I determined to wear it near my heart.'
'It annoyed you! Did ever anyone hear such an assertion? Jette has
faithfully worn hers, and placed a "_Forget-me-not_" into the bargain
by its side, to remind herself, I suppose, not to forget you. But _you_
found it a bore, even to be asked if you were engaged! Such gallants as
you do not deserve to be remembered. But come now, I will show you a
beautiful view.'
We passed together through a charming shady wood, where several paths,
diverging among the trees, crossed each other. Hanne walked before,
light and graceful as Diana in her fluttering drapery; I followed her,
like the enamoured Actaeon. Alas! the resemblance would soon become
stronger, I thought--how soon might I not be discovered, driven forth
as a miserable intruder, and delivered over to regret and remorse,
which would prey upon me, and tear me to atoms, as the hounds tore
Actaeon!
Upon a rising ground stood a swing, the posts of which towered above
the tops of the trees, and the erection looked at a distance like a
gallows. From this spot the view was very extensive--a number of
country churches could be seen from it, and among others that of my
uncle.
'But why have you placed that gallows upon this lovely spot?' I asked.
'Gallows! No one ever presumed to give such an appellation to my swing
before,' said Hanne, angrily. 'If it were not very uncivil, I would say
that it evinces an extremely debased and disordered state of the
imagination to make a gallows out of my innocent swing.'
The girl spoke the absolute truth. It will hereafter come to be called
gallows, thought I--and tomorrow my fair fame will hang dangling there,
as a terror and a warning to all counterfeit cousins.
'But never mind, cousin, I did not mean to be so sharp with you. Don't,
however, let my father hear you say anything disparaging of this place;
he would not so easily forgive you. Come, you shall atone for your sin
by swinging me,' added Hanne, as she settled herself in the swing.
'Ah, Hanne! would that I could as easily atone for all my sins towards
you!'
I could have swung her for a lifetime, I do believe, without becoming
weary of gazing at her; but she compassionately stopped, fancying I
must be tired.
'You will be quite fatigued, poor fellow--it would be a shame to make
you work longer,' said she. 'Get in, and you shall find that the swing
stands in a good situation; that is to say, if you are not afraid of
the gallows,' she added, as she made room for me.
'For your sake, I would not shun even the gallows,' said I, as I sprang
up.
The swing went at full speed; it was pleasant to be carried thus over
the tops of the trees, and behold the earth as if stretched out beneath
one's feet. I felt as if in heaven. I was flying in the air with an
angel.
'How delightful this is!' I cried, throwing my arm round Hanne's waist.
'What, to be on a gallows? But pray hold on by the rope, cousin, and
not by me. Now let us get down--we have had enough of this pastime.'
'I have an earnest prayer to make to you, dear Hanne,' I said, seizing
her hand. 'Listen to me before we leave this place. I foresee that the
swing, at least in your recollection, will retain the name I
accidentally gave it. Promise me that you will come here when you hear
evil of me, and doubt my honour, and that you will then remember that
it was here I entreated you to judge leniently of the absent. Fate
plays strange tricks with us, dear Hanne; it throws us sometimes into
temptations which we are too weak to withstand. Promise me that you
will not condemn me irrevocably, although appearances may be against
me.'
The lovely girl looked at me for a moment with surprise and
earnestness, and then suddenly burst into an immoderate fit of
laughter; another moment, and my confession would have been made.
'I promise you,' said she, 'that I shall come here and think of you as
well as you deserve--that is to say, if I have nothing else to do, and
nothing else to think of. But at present I have no time to spare for
gallows'-reflections, the bell is ringing for luncheon, and my father
likes us to appear punctually at table.'
Jette did not come down to luncheon, her headache confined her to her
room, poor girl! I felt very sorry for her, and when I reflected that
my principal, whose unworthy messenger I was, would torment her still
more, my heart really grieved for her. The family were very cheerful,
and it was long since I had been among so pleasant and sociable a
little party. Alas! half the day was now gone, and when the other half
were passed it would be all over with my enjoyments.
After luncheon, cousin Thomas came to me and begged that I would go out
with him for a few hours' shooting, the afternoon being his time for
exercise and amusement. I wished to be on good terms with all the
family, and therefore accepted his invitation; besides, I thought he
might be in a talkative humour, and that I might be able to extract
from him some particulars of their domestic history. We took a couple
of guns and sallied forth. I had already become so hardened that I
did not feel the slightest twinge of conscience at thus abusing the
open-hearted confidence of twelve years of age. 'Give the Devil an
inch, and he will take an ell,' says the proverb.
But cousin Thomas was too keen a sportsman to have ears for anything
except sporting anecdotes, and I soon began to grudge the time I had
wasted upon him. There was no help for me, however. I was in for it,
and I had to follow him from one moor to another, removing myself every
moment farther from his father's abode.
'Who is that person yonder?' I asked by mere chance, only not to seem
quite silent.
'Where? Oh! that is Gustav Holm,' said Thomas. 'He is coming, I dare
say, from Green Moor--the very best moor in the whole neighbourhood.'
'We must speak to him.--Mr. Holm! Mr. Holm! Good morning, Mr. Holm.'
The person thus hailed stopped for a moment, and then came up to us. I
forthwith introduced myself as a newly-arrived relative of the family
at ---- Court, and he cast on me the pleasant glance with which one
generally eyes a rival.
'What sort of sport have they to-day at Green Moor?' I asked; and I
attacked him with questions and stuck to him like a burr, though I saw
that he would fain have got rid of me. But that was impossible. Mr.
Holm was exceedingly chary of his words; therefore if either was a
blockhead, as I had been described the night before, it was he rather
than I.
'I will do poor Jette a service while I can,' thought I; and I invited
Mr. Holm to return with us to ---- Court. 'You visit at my uncle's, I
think,' I added; 'it strikes me that I have heard my cousin speak of
you.'
He grew as red as fire, poor fellow.
'I don't think little Hanne will pick a quarrel with me because I beg
you to accompany us home,' said I, slily; and the luckless lover became
still more embarrassed. He tried to excuse himself, but I would take no
denial; he was obliged to give way, and in triumph I brought my
prisoner back with me. 'Thomas will bear witness to the ladies how much
trouble I had in prevailing on you to come, and they will therefore the
more highly appreciate your self-sacrifice,' said I.
When we reached the gate, he tried again to negotiate for his freedom,
but Thomas found his reluctance so amusing, that he would not allow him
to make his escape. Giving way at length, he exclaimed,
'You are going to afflict your party with a tiresome addition, for I
have a dreadful headache to-day.'
'You will feel better when you have dined,' I replied; 'and if you
would like to have some sal volatile, you can get some from my
_fiancee_; she has a headache also to-day. There must be something in
the air to cause it, since you are similarly affected.'
Mr. Holm evidently writhed under my mode of treatment; and at the term
_fiancee_ he looked as if I had trodden heavily upon his corns. It was
certainly very trying, but I had comfort in the background for him.
Neither the Justitsraad nor his wife seemed to be much pleased at the
arrival of their unexpected guest; nevertheless, they received him
politely, and assigned to him a place at table between them. He could
not have demanded a more honourable seat. Thomas was inexhaustible in
his descriptions of Mr. Holm's unwillingness to give himself up as a
captive, and how clever he had been in securing him. Poor Jette dared
hardly look up from her plate.
'Mr. Holm ought to know that he is always welcome,' said the
Justitsraad; but it was evident that the remark was the result of good
breeding, rather than of any cordial pleasure he had in seeing him.
'Very true, uncle; that is just what I said. Hanne spoke of him to me
so highly this morning, that I really became quite eager to make his
acquaintance. The friends of the family must also be my friends. I knew
right well that Hanne would not be angry at me if I brought him home
with me.'
'I! What did I say?' exclaimed Hanne, colouring deeply. 'How can you
make such an assertion? I believe ...'
'That I am a sad gossip, and never can keep to myself what I hear--I
confess the truth of the impeachment.'
Her parents looked at her with surprise; Jette cast an inquiring glance
towards her, and Gustav forced a smile. Hanne was very angry, but her
wrath did not last long; time was precious to me, and I speedily
effected a reconciliation with her.
'I do verily believe that you are not quite sober to-day, Carl,' said
Hanne in a whisper to me, when we rose from table.
'Truth to tell, Hanne, I am not, but that is your fault. Why did you
try to make me drink myself under the table last night? It is only a
judgment from Heaven on you; those who dig a pit for other people often
fall into it themselves.'
'Hark ye, cousin! I am very near wishing that you had been in reality
as stupid a nonentity as we were given to understand you were.'
'What if you should be taken at your word? You may get your wish more
easily than you imagine; by this day week the transformation may have
been brought about; see if you don't wish me back again then.'
Her father took my arm, and proposed adjourning to the garden with our
cigars. I had nearly fled the field at this invitation, so much did I
dread a _tete-a-tete_ with him; nothing on earth could have detained me
but the expected secret meeting with Jette, whose good genius I was to
be. I felt that I could almost rather have faced his Satanic Majesty
himself at that moment, had the choice between the two companions been
mine; but what was I to do? There was nothing for it but to accompany
my host quietly.
'Listen, my son,' said the old gentleman, when we had exhausted our
first cigars; 'I cannot say I am much pleased at your having brought
that Mr. Holm back with you. He is a very respectable young man, but
... Why should we encumber ourselves with him?... To speak out, you
should have been the last person to have brought _him_ to this house.'
'_I!_ How so? I really had planned to make him one of my most intimate
friends. Hanne said so much in his favour.'
'Hanne does not care a straw for him--she is only a child.'
'A child! and on the 12th of November she will be seventeen years old!
No, no, uncle, girls give up thinking themselves children when they
arrive at ten years of age.'
'But I tell you, Hanne does not care in the least for him; nor does he
for her.'
'Very well, uncle, so much the better, for there is no sort of danger
then in his coming here.'
'Danger! Oh! I don't look upon him as at all dangerous; but I can't
bear to see him looking so woe-begone.'
'I shall soon enliven him. Only leave him to me, and you will see that
he shall become quite gay. I will take him in hand if he can come here
every day.'
'Confound the fellow! I must just tell you plainly out then--he is a
great admirer of Jette. Do you understand me now?'
'May I ask how you know that, sir?'
'How I know that?... Well ... No matter how. Suffice it to say, I know
it. Jette cannot endure him, that I know also; but his sighs might make
some impression on her, so it were better that he kept entirely away.
Besides, if he gets no encouragement, his fancy will wear out. Don't
you agree with me that he had better not come here?'
'I can't call it a sin to be in love with Jette, for I am so myself;
she is a girl that it would be impossible not to admire. If we were to
drive away every one who was guilty of admiring her, we should be
compelled at last to live as hermits.'
'What the devil, nephew! Do _you_ say all this--you, who are to be her
future husband?'
'One must be somewhat liberal, uncle--one must seem not to observe
everything. Suspicion does a great deal of harm, and jealousy would
only encourage the evil. Jette shall find me as gentle as a lamb.
Besides, you have assured me that she cannot endure him.'
'Well!... Perhaps she does not exactly hate him ... she has no
particular fault to find with him ... but he embarrasses her ... he
embarrasses her ... and when a person embarrasses one ...' The good man
had got into a dilemma, and he was not able to get out of it; so he
stopped short.
'Oh! that will pass off when she accustoms herself to see him. It is a
great misfortune to let oneself be embarrassed by the presence of
others; really, after a time this would lead one to become a
misanthrope--a hater of one's species.'
The Justitsraad looked at me with astonishment, while he replied:
'I wish you had not gone on your travels; I fear your morality has
suffered not a little in consequence. I hardly knew you again, you are
so much changed. You are not like the same being who, eleven years ago,
was such a quiet, bashful boy. And your father, who constantly wrote
that you were not the least altered, he must scarcely recognize you
himself.'
'That is very probable, uncle, for I hardly know myself again. But
travelling abroad is sure always to make some little change in people.'
'It must have been Berlin that has done the mischief, and made such a
transformation in you; for the letters your father sent me, which you
had written from Vienna, did not in the slightest degree lead me to
imagine that you had become such a hair-brained, thoughtless fellow.'
'True enough it is that I am thoughtless and hair-brained, but, believe
me, I have never been guilty of any deliberate wrong. I know I am too
often carried away by the impulse of the moment, and too often forget
what may be the consequences.'
'One must make some allowance for youth,' replied the old gentleman.
'So it was at Berlin you studied folly in all its branches--Berlin,
which I had always believed to be a most correct and exemplary city,
whither one might send a young man without the least risk! Well, well!
let us consign to oblivion all the pranks you must have played to have
been metamorphosed from a milksop to a madcap. We must all sow our wild
oats some time or other, and I hope you have sown yours, and are done
with them.'
'No, indeed, I fear not; on the contrary, I feel that I am in the midst
of that period; but I promise you that it shall soon be over, and that
then nothing shall tempt me to such follies. As to youthful imprudence,
if it be not carried too far, I shall rely upon your indulgence. Will
you not wink a little at it, and let your kind, generous heart plead
for me when your reason might condemn me?'
'You are a queer fellow, nephew, and a wild one, I fear; but it is not
possible to be angry with you.'
'Would to Heaven that you may always be inclined to entertain such
friendly feelings towards me!' I replied, as I pressed his hand. There
was good reason for my bespeaking his indulgence; it would be amply
required the very next day.
I skilfully managed to bring the subject back to Gustav Holm, and soon
perceived that he had really nothing to say against him. Holm's
position was good in all respects, and the old gentleman would have
considered him a very good match for one of his daughters, if he had
not had another project in his head. But he had set his heart so
entirely on the family alliance, that he could not admit the idea of
any other. In eleven years there had been time for it to become deeply
rooted in his mind.
When we sought the rest of the party, we found them all standing round
the swing. Hanne was busy attaching a piece of paper to one of the
poles.
'What are you doing there, child?' asked her father.
'It is Carl's name which I am putting on the gallows, as a
well-deserved punishment for all the follies of which he has been
guilty in word and deed to-day,' she replied, continuing her
employment. 'Only think, he disgraced my swing by pretending to mistake
it for a gallows. So there stands his name; and there it shall stand,
to his eternal shame and reproach, and in ridicule of him when he is
gone. We must have something to recall him to our recollection.'
'Nemesis,' thought I, 'already!' I was as much moved inwardly, as the
worthy emperor, Charles V., must have been when he witnessed his own
funeral. Humph! no one likes jesting about such serious matters. Who
knows in what it might end?
We amused ourselves with swinging--we chattered nonsense, or discoursed
gravely--we sauntered about, all together or in groups by turns. Hanne
was the life of the party, and by degrees everyone seemed to partake of
her gaiety. Even Jette talked more. I had seized on the unhappy lover,
and held him fast by the arm, in the charitable intention of bringing
him near his lady-love, without anyone's remarking his proximity to
her; but the overcautious girl avoided us, and Gustav himself had not
courage to begin a conversation on different subjects. I was quite
distressed about them, poor things! 'We must try what can be done in
the wood,' thought I; 'there are paths enough in it, the party will
become more scattered, and I shall then be able to manage, perhaps, to
get them into some secluded spot.' But our progress was arrested by a
servant, who came to announce that some visitors had arrived.
_Visitors!_ At that word my ears tingled as if all the blood in my
body had rushed up into them. Visitors! I felt sure they would be
betrayers--they would be persons who either knew me, or the real
cousin, and then good-by to my _incognito_--good-by to the secret
interview! What would become of it when I had to take to flight?
'Visitors! How very tiresome,' exclaimed Hanne. The servant mentioned
a name unknown to me; that, as it appeared, of a family in the
neighbourhood. I was not acquainted with them--but the cousin, my other
self ...
'Visitors!' I exclaimed, in dismay. 'Do I know them? Will anybody have
the great kindness to tell me if they are acquainted with me?'
They all laughed, and assured me that I was not acquainted with them.
It was a family who had only lately settled in the neighbourhood,
having exchanged a property in Jutland for one in Zealand, and with
whom they were themselves but slightly acquainted. I recovered my
spirits, and we turned our steps back towards the house. Gustav seized
the opportunity to make his escape, the Justitsraad made no effort to
detain him, and I was too much occupied with my own affairs to trouble
myself at that moment about those of other people. The poor dear
Jutland family had made a most unseasonable visit.
I thanked Heaven that I had never seen them before; and I cannot say
that I should feel any regret at never beholding them more. They were a
set of tiresome bores, who deprived me of the brightest afternoon of my
life, and took the evening also; so that I had reason not to forget
them in a hurry. My cousins had to amuse the silly daughters, the elder
individuals on both sides discoursed together, and it fell to my share
to entertain the son and his tutor. I looked a hundred times at my
watch; I foretold that we were going to have thunder and lightning and
rain in torrents--in short, I left no stone unturned to get rid of them
early--but to no avail; I only reaped jeers and bantering from Hanne
for my pains; and when at length they seemed themselves to think it
expedient to go, she pressed them to stay longer, only to annoy me, and
was mischievous enough to say, 'You surely will not refuse my cousin
his first request to you,' thereby, as it were, making me pronounce my
own doom. It was enough to put one into a rage.
We went to supper with all due formality, and for the first time I
remembered that it was my duty to offer my arm to Jette. She
accompanied me like a lamb led to the sacrificial altar, and took the
earliest opportunity of informing me that her headache had not yet left
her. Headache is an absolute necessity for ladies; I do not know what
they would do if no such thing as headache existed.
It was not possible to utter a word which could not be overheard by the
tutor, who sat on the other side of her; at length it occurred to me to
engage him in a conversation with Hanne, and with some difficulty I
managed to do this. But fate had no compassion on me that evening.
Presently I heard my real name pronounced by the father of the family
who were visiting us; I felt as much shocked and alarmed as if he had
shouted '_Seize that thief!_' I had nearly dropped my fork.
'He is a most respectable man, I can assure you; I recommend you to
send all your corn to him; he is very fair in his dealings. I have
known him for a long time.'
It was of my father he was speaking.
'I shall consider about it,' said the Justitsraad; 'I do not know the
house myself. And he has a son, you say. Is the son a partner?'
'It was intended that he should be,' said my personal enemy; 'but he is
such a sad scamp that I think the father will hardly venture to take
him into partnership. He played such foolish, wild pranks at home, that
he was sent to Hamburg; but he did not go on a bit better there, as I
have heard.'
'I am sorry for the poor father,' said the Justitsraad.
'A good character is valuable,' thought I. 'Here is the second time
to-day that my name has been stigmatized. Now, both my person and
my name are contraband at ---- Court. Cruel fate!' I became quite
silent--willingly would I also have taken refuge in a headache; there
was enough to give me one, at any rate; and I took leave in the coldest
and most distant manner of the party who had prolonged their visit on
my account.
'Pray come and see us soon with your betrothed,' said the old wretch
who had made so free with my town character.
It was with difficulty that I kept my temper, and poor Jette seemed
also to be on thorns.
'What nice people they are!' exclaimed Hanne; 'the daughters have
promised me to come here at least twice a week. But you were quite
silent and stupid this evening, cousin.'
'It was what you wished me to be in the morning,' I replied; 'I only
conducted myself according to your desire.'
'Let me always find you so obedient. Goodnight! To-morrow I shall
command you to be gay again. That becomes you best, after all.' She
held out her pretty little hand as a token of reconciliation.
'And I beg of you to come into the grove to-morrow morning, after
breakfast; I wish very much to have a little private conversation with
you,' whispered Jette, almost in tears, as I kissed her hand. She could
hardly bring herself to pronounce the words; I saw what a pang it cost
her. A warm pressure of her hand was my only reply; she little knew how
friendly my feelings were towards her.
'So my adventures are not finished even with this day,' said I to
myself as I opened a little of the window in my room; 'shall I make up
my mind to this delay, or shall I take myself off at once! What! leave
poor Jette in the lurch? Yet how can I help her? What is the use of my
remaining longer here?--I shall but entangle myself still more deeply
in a net of untruth, which will bring me into disgrace. Have I not had
warnings enough--the gallows scene, my Hamburg reputation, and the many
uneasy moments I have passed to-day? I am vexed and annoyed this
evening; it will cost me less, therefore, perhaps, to recover my
freedom tonight than to-morrow night; another day with Hanne will only
make me feel the separation still more acutely. Then, in case of a
discovery, how shall I excuse this prolonged mystification? By
confessing my love for Hanne?--a pretty apology, to be sure! But am I
_really_ in love with her? _I_ in love! and if I were, what would be
the result? Is it at all likely that the Justitsraad would give his
daughter to an impertinent puppy, who had made her acquaintance first
by such an unwarrantable trick--to a "sad scamp" who had only made
himself remarkable by his wild pranks? Or--shall I climb up yon tree,
perch myself like a singing-bird before Jette's window, make my
confession to her, and then start on my pedestrian journey? Or--shall I
go to bed, and let to-morrow take care of itself? I will consult my
buttons--I will try my fate by them. Let me see: I will ... I will not
... I will ... I will go to bed. ... Aha! I am to go to bed--chance has
so decided it for me. But to go to bed in love! that such a catastrophe
should happen to me! I had thought it was quite foreign to my nature;
however, here I am, up to my ears in love. Ah! why was that little
fairy, Hanne, so bewitching? why were the whole family so frank and
pleasant? It was all their own fault; they forced the cousinship
upon me. Heaven knows I came to them quite innocent of nefarious
designs--fast asleep and snoring--perfectly honourable.... _Apropos_ of
honour, let me close the window; what Gustav and Jette have to talk
about is nothing to me--it would be very indelicate to play the
listener--wounding to my better feelings. My better feelings! I can't
help laughing at the idea of _my_ being inconvenienced by any symptoms
of honourable, or delicate, or _better_ feelings. It is my cursed
levity and folly that lead me astray; after all, there _are_ honesty
and uprightness in me, _au fond_, and my heart is in its right place. I
will no longer be the slave of caprice and impulse. I will be something
better than a mere madcap; and here, even here, they shall learn to
speak of me with respect.... Ah! it will be a confounded long time,
however, before I can teach them that ... and ... in the meantime, I
positively am in love.'
Having arrived at this conclusion, I betook myself to my couch, and
closed my eyes, at the same time burying my ears in my pillows, not to
overhear any portion of the discourse which was to be carried on about
one o'clock in the morning, on the outside of my window, and also the
sooner to dream of Hanne. I succeeded in both, for I heard or saw
nothing whatsoever of the two unfortunate lovers, and I dreamed of
Hanne the livelong night. The morning was far advanced, when Thomas
thrust his head into my room, and rated me for being as heavy a
slumberer as one of the seven sleepers;--the little wretch! I was at
that moment swinging with Hanne, and would have given the wealth of the
East India Company to have been permitted to end my dream undisturbed.
When I entered the breakfast-room they were all at table. Jette looked
very pale, but she allowed that her headache was better, though she
said she still felt far from well. Hanne and her father teased me
unmercifully about the visitors of the day before, who had put me so
much out of humour, and about my predictions of a thunderstorm
wherewith I endeavoured to drive them away. 'But you are quite an
ignoramus in regard to the weather, cousin; that I perceived,' said
Hanne, 'I shall present you with a barometer on your birthday, so that
you may not make such mistakes again as that of yesterday evening.
Which is the important day?'
'It is quite old-fashioned to keep birthdays, Hanne; that custom has
been long since exploded,' said I, 'and therefore I am not going to
tell you.'
'But we are very old-fashioned here, and you will be expected to do as
we do in respect to keeping birthdays. First, let me refresh your
memory. When is my birthday?'
'On the 12th of November you will be seventeen years of age.'
'Right. And Jette's? How old will she be her next birthday?'
It was a trying examination, but it was well deserved; why had I not
taken myself off the night before, when I could so well have made my
escape?
'Come, begin; tell us Jette's birthday, and my father's, and my
mother's? Let us have them all at once. Now we shall see whether you
are skilled in your almanac.'
'Are you seriously bent on this examination? Do you fancy I have
forgotten one of them?' I asked, in an offended tone. 'I will not
answer such questions.'
This was one way of escaping. When do people most easily take offence?
Answer: When they are in the wrong.
'I see how it is,' said Hanne; 'as it annoys you to be asked if you are
betrothed, it probably annoys you to be expected to remember the
birthday of her to whom you are engaged. Only think,' she added,
addressing the rest of the party, 'he does not wear his betrothal-ring,
because he does not like answering any question to which his having it
on his finger might give rise. As if it were a question of conscience.'
'So it may be, sometimes,' I replied. 'But since questioning is the
order of the day, I beg to ask why _you_ wear that little ring on your
finger?'
'I never gratify impertinent curiosity,' said the little devil,
colouring up to the very roots of her hair. She seemed very much vexed,
and turned angrily away.
'Now--now--children! can you never agree?' said the Justitsraad. 'You
two will be getting into quarrels every moment, that I foresee; you
resemble each other too much; it is from the absolute similarity
between you that you cannot be in peace.'
'You flatter me very much, uncle,' said I; 'would that it were really
so.'
'I say nothing of the kind,' cried Hanne; 'I beg to decline the
compliment. Gentlemen full of whims are my aversion. But, happily for
both of us, you are not engaged to me. Jette is much too good--she will
put up with your bad habits.'
Jette smiled kindly to her, and that seemed immediately to appease her
wrath. She ran to her sister, kissed her, and said, 'For your sake I
will bear with him; but believe me, you will not make an endurable
husband of him if you do not begin in time to drive his caprices out of
him. He should be accustomed to do as he is bid, and answer the
questions that are put to him.'
Both Jette and myself turned our faces away to conceal our confusion.
Hanne held out her hand to me. 'Do you repent of your sins?'
'With my whole heart.'
'Will you beg pardon, and promise henceforth to be better?'
'Yes. I confess that I am a great sinner, but I humbly beg pardon, and
will try to do better for the future.' So saying, I pressed a long,
long kiss on her hand; I could hardly get my lips away from it.
'So--that is enough. Now go and beg Jette's pardon, because you have
been naughty in her presence; and,' she added, 'kiss her hand
prettily.'
I did so.
'Very well. But I don't think you have ever kissed her as your
betrothed yet. Let me see you go through that ceremony, properly too.'
Poor Jette became crimson at this challenge, which did not in the least
embarrass me.
I felt that it was going a little too far, but what could I do? Dear
reader! I was compelled to kiss the young lady--do not judge of me too
severely because I did it. But I obeyed the command in as formal a
manner as possible; it was scarcely a kiss, yet it burned on my lips
like fire; as to how it burned my conscience--well, I will say nothing
of that.
'He is really quite timid,' exclaimed Hanne, who stood by with her
hands folded, watching the performance of her command; 'I did not
expect such an assured young gentleman to be so ceremonious; one would
think it were his first essay!'
'And peace being now restored and sealed,' said the Justitsraad, 'I
hope it will be a Christian, a universal, and an eternal peace, both
for the present and the future; that is to say, at least till you fall
out again. And in order that such may not be the case for a few hours,
we will leave the ladies, nephew, and pay a visit to the new horse I
bought the other day. We shall see if you are as good a judge of horses
as you are of the Hamburg theatricals.'
'You really should give poor Carl some peace,' said my considerate
aunt; 'you will make him quite tired of us all. One insists
upon catechizing him as to dates, another as to his veterinary
knowledge--there is only wanting that I should attack him about
culinary lore. You shall not be so plagued by them, Carl: as to the
horse it was my husband's own choosing; and if you should not instantly
discover, by looking at its teeth, that it is young and handsome, and
has every possible good quality, you will be called an ignoramus.'
'Any how he may be called that,' said Hanne; 'but I forgot, peace has
been proclaimed, so let my words be considered as unspoken.'