LETTER-WRITING
THE writing of letters, of the good old-fashioned kind, is rapidly
becoming a thing of the past. People used to write epistles. Now they
write notes. Before the days of the stenographer, the typewriter, the
telegraph and telephone, when people made their own clothes by hand,
wove their own sheets and had no time-saving machines, they found
leisure to write epistles to their friends. Some of us are so fortunate
as to have stowed away in an old trunk a bundle of these productions.
The ink is pale and the paper yellowed, but the matter is still
interesting. All the news of the family, the neighborhood gossip, the
latest sayings and doings of the children and of callers, an account
of the books read, of the minister’s last sermon and of the arrival of
the newest of many olive branches, filled pages. What must these same
pages have meant to the exile from home! And how much there was in such
letters to answer!
Still, even in this day and generation, there are a few people who
have so far held to the good old traditions that they write genuine
letters. And—wonder of wonders!—they answer questions asked them in
letters written by their correspondents. Only those who have written
questions to which they desired prompt answers, appreciate how
maddening it is to receive a letter that tells you everything except
the answers to your queries. And this ignoring of the epistle one is
supposed to be answering is a feature of the up-to-date letter-writer.
There is, even in friendly correspondence, a right and a wrong way of
doing a thing.
[Sidenote: HOW NOT TO WRITE]
The wrong, and well-nigh universal, way of treating a letter is as
follows: It is read as rapidly as possible, pigeonholed and forgot.
Weeks hence, in clearing out the desk it is found, the handwriting
recognized, and it is laid aside to be answered later. When that
“later” comes depends on the leisure of the owner. At last a so-called
answer is hastily written without a second reading of the letter to
which one is replying. Such a reply begins with an apology for a
long and unavoidable silence, an account of how cruelly busy one is
nowadays, a passing mention of the number of duties one has to perform,
a wish that the two correspondents may meet in the near future and a
rushing final sentence of affection followed by the signature. Such is
the modern letter.
If a correspondent is worth having, she is worth treating fairly. Let
her letter be read carefully, and laid aside until such time as one
can have a half-hour of uninterrupted writing. Then, let the letter
one would answer be read, and the questions it contains be answered
in order, and first of all. This is common courtesy. After which one
may write as much as time and inclination permit. If one has not the
time to conduct one’s correspondence in this way, let one have fewer
correspondents. It is more fair to them and to one’s self.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE GOOD-LOOKING NOTE]
Colored letter-paper is in bad form unless the color be a pale gray or
a light blue. From time to time, stationers have put upon the market
paper outré in design and coloring, and the persons who have used it
were just what might be expected. It reminds one of what Richard Grant
White said of the words “gents” and “pants”—he noticed “that the one
generally wore the other.” So, paper that is such bad form as this is
usually used by persons who are “bad form.” All good-looking notes have
a considerable margin at the left hand; punctilious people insist on a
right-hand margin also.
[Sidenote: SEALING THE ENVELOPE]
Plain white or cream paper of good quality is always in fashion. For
social correspondence this paper must be so cut that it is folded but
once to be slipped into an envelope. At the top of the page in the
middle may be the address, as “123 West Barrows Street,” and the name
of the city. Just now, this is the only marking that is used on the
sheet, although some persons have the initials or monogram, or crest,
in place of the address. It is no longer fashionable to have the crest
or monogram and the address also. The envelope is marked or not, as one
chooses. The use of sealing-wax gives a touch of distinction for which
a few persons still take time. Only white or delicately colored wax is
acceptable, unless at holiday time, when the festive touch given by
scarlet is in season.
* * * * *
Letter-heads, such as are used for business correspondence, should
never be used for social purposes. Even the business man may keep in
his office desk a quire or two of plain paper upon which to write
society notes and replies to invitations. Nor is it permissible
for him to use the typewriter in inditing these. All his business
correspondence may be conducted with the aid of the invaluable machine,
and he may, if he ask permission to do so, send letters to members of
his own family on the typewriter. But all other correspondence should
be done with pen and ink.
* * * * *
Unfortunately, mourning stationery is still in vogue. The recipient
of a black-edged letter is often conscious of a distinct shock when
she first sees the emblem of dolor, and wonders if it contains the
notice of a death. For this reason many considerate followers of
conventionalities do not use the black-edged stationery, but content
themselves with plain white paper marked with the address or monogram
in black lettering.
* * * * *
A social or friendly letter is frequently dated at the end, at the
left-hand lower corner of the signature. A business communication is
dated at the upper right-hand corner.
[Sidenote: ADDRESSING BUSINESS FIRMS]
The expression “My dear Mr. Blank” is more formal than is “Dear Mr.
Blank,” and is, therefore, used in society notes. Do not—as some have
done—begin “dear” with a capital. Unsophisticated persons sometimes
hesitate to use the prefix “dear,”—they may be assured that in this
connection it is merely a polite form, with no sentimental flavor
whatever. Business letters addressed to a man should begin with
the name of the person to whom they are intended on one line, the
salutation on the next, as: “Mr. John Smith” on the upper line, and
below this, “Dear Sir.” In addressing a firm consisting of more than
one person, write the name of the firm, as “Smith, Jones and Company,”
then below, “Dear Sirs.” The salutation “Gentlemen” in such a case
is old-fashioned but is preferred by some ceremonious persons who
also like to put “Esq.” after a man’s name on an envelope in place of
putting “Mr.” before it.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE SIGNATURE]
It should be unnecessary to remind women not to preface their
signatures with the title “Mrs.” or “Miss.” Such a mistake stamps one
as a vulgarian or an ignoramus. The name in full may be signed, as:
“Mary Bacon Smith.” If the writer be a married woman, and the person
to whom she writes does not know whether she be married or single,
she should write her husband’s name with the preface “Mrs.” below her
signature, or in the lower left-hand corner of the sheet, as (“Mrs.
James Hayes Smith”). An unmarried woman will save her correspondent
embarrassment by putting “Miss Brown” in parentheses in this corner.
* * * * *
To sign one’s name prefaced by the first letter is no longer considered
good form. “J. Henry Wells” should be “John Henry Wells.” If one would
use one initial letter instead of the full name, let that letter be the
middle initial, as “John H. Wells,” or “J. H. Wells.”
* * * * *
[Sidenote: THE POSTAL CARD]
I wish I could impress on all followers of good form that a postal card
is a solecism except when used for business purposes. If it is an
absolute necessity to send one to a friend or a member of one’s family,
as, when stopping for a moment at a railroad station one wishes to
send a line home telling of one’s safety at the present stage of the
journey, the sentences should be short and to the point, and unprefaced
by an affectionate salutation. All love-messages should be omitted, as
should the intimate termination that is entirely proper in a sealed
letter. “Affectionately” or “Lovingly” are out of place when written
upon a postal card. Expressions such as “God bless you!” or “I love
you,” or “Love to the dear ones,” are in shockingly bad taste except
under cover of an envelope. A good rule to impress on those having a
penchant for the prevalent post-card is as follows: “Use for business
when brevity and simplicity are the order of the day; never use for
friendly correspondence unless the purchase of a sheet of paper,
envelope and postage stamp is an impossibility.”
* * * * *
The friendly letter may be as long as time and inclination permit. The
business communication should be written in as few and clear sentences
as possible. Some one has said that to write a model business letter
one should “begin in the middle of it.” In other words, it should be
unprefaced by any unnecessary sentences, but should begin immediately
on the business in hand, continue and finish with it. For such letters
“Very truly yours” is the correct ending, unless, as in the case of
a man or firm addressing a letter to a person totally unknown to the
writer, and of marked eminence, when the expression “Respectfully
yours” may be used.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: LETTERS OF CONDOLENCE]
Many people consider letters of congratulation and condolence the most
difficult to write. This is because one feels that a certain kind of
form is necessary and that conventional and stilted phrases are proper
under the circumstances. This is a mistake, for, going on the almost
unfailing principle that what comes from the heart, goes to the heart,
the best form to be used toward those in sorrow or joy is a genuine
expression of feeling. If you are sorry for a friend, write to her that
you are, and that you are thinking of her and longing to help her.
If you are happy in her happiness, say so as cordially as words can
express it.
* * * * *
It happens now and then that even the quietest person wishes to
write to a man of political prominence. Such persons, whether they
be diplomats or members of Congress, may properly be addressed as
“Honorable Mr. ——.” The president is “The Honorable, the President
of the United States.” To use the article before the title is more
elegant. Bishops of any church are entitled to the prefix, “The Right
Reverend.” In conversation, the rector of a “high” Episcopal church
is often affectionately addressed as “Father ——,” but this form of
greeting would not be used on an envelope. The dean of a cathedral
should be addressed as “The Very Reverend ——.”
* * * * *
Very small paper and envelopes for society notes are less used than
formerly, many persons preferring what are called correspondence cards,
heavy cream-white single cards on which a few lines may be written and
which are slipped into their envelopes without folding.
* * * * *
[Sidenote: LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION]
Letters of introduction should bear on the outside of the envelope,
in the lower left-hand corner the words, “Introducing Miss ——,” in
order that the two thus brought together may be saved any momentary
embarrassment. They should not be sealed. One should be very careful
not to give these letters unless one is reasonably warranted in making
a demand on the time and courtesy of the person on whom one is making
the social draft. To give one’s card by way of introduction makes
less of a demand on one’s friend than does a letter. A woman does not
present a letter of introduction in person; a man does.
When one avails one’s self of a member of one’s family or a friend as
messenger, one should write on the envelope in the lower left-hand
corner, “Kindness of Mary” or “Politeness of Miss Briggs.”
* * * * *
[Sidenote: ENCLOSING A STAMP]
We can not close this chapter on letter-writing without a word to the
person who writes a letter asking a question on his own business, and
fails to enclose a stamp. This is equivalent to asking the recipient
on whom one has no claim to give one the time required for writing an
answer to one’s query, and a two-cent stamp as well. When the matter on
which one writes is essentially one’s own business, and not that of the
person to whom one writes and from whom one demands a reply, one should
always enclose a stamp, thus making the favor one asks of the least
possible trouble to one’s correspondent. Some people enclose a stamped
and self-addressed envelope but as the other person’s paper may not fit
the envelope, the well-meant courtesy often defeats itself.
[Sidenote: PROMPTNESS IN ANSWERING]
In all business and society correspondence a letter should be answered
as soon as possible after it is received. One may afford to take a
certain amount of liberty with one’s friends, and lay aside a letter
for some days before answering it. But the acceptance or declinature of
an invitation, and the answer to a business communication, should be
sent with as little delay as possible.