century by Wainfleet, bishop of Winchester; and now consists of a
president, forty fellows, and a number of inferior students. It is
esteemed one of the largest and most wealthy of our academical
corporations, which may be compared to the Benedictine abbeys of
Catholic countries; and I have loosely heard that the estates
belonging to Magdalen College, which are leased by those indulgent
landlords at small quit-rents and occasional fines, might be raised,
in the hands of private avarice, to an annual revenue of nearly
thirty thousand pounds. Our colleges are supposed to be schools of
science, as well as of education; nor is it unreasonable to expect
that a body of literary men, devoted to a life of celibacy, exempt
from the care of their own subsistence, and amply provided with
books, should devote their leisure to the prosecution of study, and
that some effects of their studies should be manifested to the
world. The shelves of their library groan under the weight of the
Benedictine folios, of the editions of the fathers, and the
collections of the middle ages, which have issued from the single
abbey of St. Germain de Prez at Paris. A composition of genius must
be the offspring of one mind; but such works of industry, as may be
divided among many hands, and must be continued during many years,
are the peculiar province of a laborious community. If I inquire
into the manufactures of the monks of Magdalen, if I extend the
inquiry to the other colleges of Oxford and Cambridge, a silent
blush, or a scornful frown, will be the only reply. The fellows or
monks of my time were decent easy men, who supinely enjoyed the
gifts of the founder; their days were filled by a series of uniform
employments; the chapel and the hall, the coffee-house and the
common room, till they retired, weary and well satisfied, to a long
slumber. From the toil of reading, or thinking, or writing, they
had absolved their conscience; and the first shoots of learning and
ingenuity withered on the ground, without yielding any fruits to the
owners or the public. As a gentleman commoner, I was admitted to
the society of the fellows, and fondly expected that some questions
of literature would be the amusing and instructive topics of their
discourse. Their conversation stagnated in a round of college
business, Tory politics, personal anecdotes, and private scandal:
their dull and deep potations excused the brisk intemperance of
youth; and their constitutional toasts were not expressive of the
most lively loyalty for the house of Hanover. A general election
was now approaching: the great Oxfordshire contest already blazed
with all the malevolence of party-zeal. Magdalen College was
devoutly attached to the old interest! and the names of Wenman and
Dashwood were more frequently pronounced, than those of Cicero and
Chrysostom. The example of the senior fellows could not inspire the
under-graduates with a liberal spirit or studious emulation; and I
cannot describe, as I never knew, the discipline of college. Some
duties may possibly have been imposed on the poor scholars, whose
ambition aspired to the peaceful honours of a fellowship (ascribi
quietis ordinibus-- --Deorum); but no independent members were
admitted below the rank of a gentleman commoner, and our velvet cap
was the cap of liberty. A tradition prevailed that some of our
predecessors had spoken Latin declamations in the hall; but of this
ancient custom no vestige remained: the obvious methods of public
exercises and examinations were totally unknown; and I have never
heard that either the president or the society interfered in the
private economy of the tutors and their pupils.
The silence of the Oxford professors, which deprives the youth of
public instruction, is imperfectly supplied by the tutors, as they
are styled, of the several colleges. Instead of confining
themselves to a single science, which had satisfied the ambition of
Burman or Bernoulli, they teach, or promise to teach, either history
or mathematics, or ancient literature, or moral philosophy; and as
it is possible that they may be defective in all, it is highly
probable that of some they will be ignorant. They are paid, indeed,
by voluntary contributions; but their appointment depends on the
head of the house: their diligence is voluntary, and will
consequently be languid, while the pupils themselves, or their
parents, are not indulged in the liberty of choice or change. The
first tutor into whose hands I was resigned appears to have been one
of the best of the tribe: Dr. Waldegrave was a learned and pious
man, of a mild disposition, strict morals, and abstemious life, who
seldom mingled in the politics or the jollity of the college. But
his knowledge of the world was confined to the university; his
learning was of the last, rather than the present age; his temper
was indolent; his faculties, which were not of the first rate, had
been relaxed by the climate, and he was satisfied, like his fellows,
with the slight and superficial discharge of an important trust. As
soon as my tutor had sounded the insufficiency of his pupil in
school-learning, he proposed that we should read every morning from
ten to eleven the comedies of Terence. The sum of my improvement in
the university of Oxford is confined to three or four Latin plays;
and even the study of an elegant classic, which might have been
illustrated by a comparison of ancient and modern theatres, was
reduced to a dry and literal interpretation of the author's text.
During the first weeks I constantly attended these lessons in my
tutor's room; but as they appeared equally devoid of profit and
pleasure I was once tempted to try the experiment of a formal
apology. The apology was accepted with a smile. I repeated the
offence with less ceremony; the excuse was admitted with the same
indulgence: the slightest motive of laziness or indisposition, the
most trifling avocation at home or abroad, was allowed as a worthy
impediment; nor did my tutor appear conscious of my absence or
neglect. Had the hour of lecture been constantly filled, a single
hour was a small portion of my academic leisure. No plan of study
was recommended for my use; no exercises were prescribed for his
inspection; and, at the most precious season of youth, whole days
and weeks were suffered to elapse without labour or amusement,
without advice or account. I should have listened to the voice of
reason and of my tutor; his mild behaviour had gained my confidence.
I preferred his society to that of the younger students; and in our
evening walks to the top of Heddington-hill, we freely conversed on
a variety of subjects. Since the days of Pocock and Hyde, Oriental
learning has always been the pride of Oxford, and I once expressed
an inclination to study Arabic. His prudence discouraged this
childish fancy; but he neglected the fair occasion of directing the
ardour of a curious mind. During my absence in the summer vacation,
Dr. Waldegrave accepted a college living at Washington in Sussex,
and on my return I no longer found him at Oxford. From that time I
have lost sight of my first tutor; but at the end of thirty years
(1781) he was still alive; and the practice of exercise and
temperance had entitled him to a healthy old age.
The long recess between the Trinity and Michaelmas terms empties the
colleges of Oxford, as well as the courts of Westminster. I spent,
at my father's house at Beriton in Hampshire, the two months of
August and September. It is whimsical enough, that as soon as I
left Magdalen College, my taste for books began to revive; but it
was the same blind and boyish taste for the pursuit of exotic
history. Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits
of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to
write a book. The title of this first Essay, The Age of Sesostris,
was perhaps suggested by Voltaire's Age of Lewis XIV. which was new
and popular; but my sole object was to investigate the probable date
of the life and reign of the conqueror of Asia. I was then
enamoured of Sir John Marsham's Canon Chronicus; an elaborate work,
of whose merits and defects I was not yet qualified to judge.
According to his specious, though narrow plan, I settled my hero
about the time of Solomon, in the tenth century before the Christian
era. It was therefore incumbent on me, unless I would adopt Sir
Isaac Newton's shorter chronology, to remove a formidable objection;
and my solution, for a youth of fifteen, is not devoid of ingenuity.
In his version of the Sacred Books, Manetho, high priest has
identified Sethosis, or Sesostris, with the elder brother of Danaus,
who landed in Greece, according to the Parian Marble, fifteen
hundred and ten years before Christ. But in my supposition the high
priest is guilty of a voluntary error; flattery is the prolific
parent of falsehood. Manetho's History of Egypt is dedicated to
Ptolemy Philadelphus, who derived a fabulous or illegitimate
pedigree from the Macedonian kings of the race of Hercules. Danaus
is the ancestor of Hercules; and after the failure of the elder
branch, his descendants, the Ptolemies, are the sole representatives
of the royal family, and may claim by inheritance the kingdom which
they hold by conquest. Such were my juvenile discoveries; at a
riper age I no longer presume to connect the Greek, the Jewish, and
the Egyptian antiquities, which are lost in a distant cloud. Nor is
this the only instance, in which the belief and knowledge of the
child are superseded by the more rational ignorance of the man.
During my stay at Beriton, my infant-labour was diligently
prosecuted, without much interruption from company or country
diversions; and I already heard the music of public applause. The
discovery of my own weakness was the first symptom of taste. On my
return to Oxford, the Age of Sesostris was wisely relinquished; but
the imperfect sheets remained twenty years at the bottom of a
drawer, till, in a general clearance of papers (Nov., 1772,) they
were committed to the flames.
After the departure of Dr. Waldegrave, I was transferred, with his
other pupils, to his academical heir, whose literary character did
not command the respect of the college. Dr--- well remembered that
he had a salary to receive, and only forgot that he had a duty to
perform. Instead of guiding the studies, and watching over the
behaviour of his disciple, I was never summoned to attend even the
ceremony of a lecture; and, excepting one voluntary visit to his
rooms, during the eight months of his titular office, the tutor and
pupil lived in the same college as strangers to each other. The
want of experience, of advice, and of occupation, soon betrayed me
into some improprieties of conduct, ill-chosen company, late hours,
and inconsiderate expense. My growing debts might be secret; but my
frequent absence was visible and scandalous: and a tour to Bath, a
visit into Buckingham-shire, and four excursions to London in the
same winter, were costly and dangerous frolics. They were, indeed,
without a meaning, as without an excuse. The irksomeness of a
cloistered life repeatedly tempted me to wander; but my chief
pleasure was that of travelling; and I was too young and bashful to
enjoy, like a Manly Oxonian in Town, the pleasures of London. In
all these excursions I eloped from Oxford; I returned to college; in
a few days I eloped again, as if I had been an independent stranger
in a hired lodging, without once hearing the voice of admonition,
without once feeling the hand of control. Yet my time was lost, my
expenses were multiplied, my behaviour abroad was unknown; folly as
well as vice should have awakened the attention of my superiors, and
my tender years would have justified a more than ordinary degree of
restraint and discipline.
It might at least be expected, that an ecclesiastical school should
inculcate the orthodox principles of religion. But our venerable
mother had contrived to unite the opposite extremes of bigotry and
indifference: an heretic, or unbeliever, was a monster in her eyes;
but she was always, or often, or sometimes, remiss in the spiritual
education of her own children. According to the statutes of the
university, every student, before he is matriculated, must subscribe
his assent to the thirty-nine articles of the church of England,
which are signed by more than read, and read by more than believe
them. My insufficient age excused me, however, from the immediate
performance of this legal ceremony; and the vice-chancellor directed
me to return, as soon as I should have accomplished my fifteenth
year; recommending me, in the mean while, to the instruction of my
college. My college forgot to instruct: I forgot to return, and was
myself forgotten by the first magistrate of the university. Without
a single lecture, either public or private, either christian or
protestant, without any academical subscription, without any
episcopal confirmation, I was left by the dim light of my catechism
to grope my way to the chapel and communion-table, where I was
admitted, without a question, how far, or by what means, I might be
qualified to receive the sacrament. Such almost incredible neglect
was productive of the worst mischiefs. From my childhood I had been
fond of religious disputation: my poor aunt has been often puzzled
by the mysteries which she strove to believe; nor had the elastic
spring been totally broken by the weight of the atmosphere of
Oxford. The blind activity of idleness urged me to advance without
armour into the dangerous mazes of controversy; and at the age of
sixteen, I bewildered myself in the errors of the church of Rome.
The progress of my conversion may tend to illustrate, at least, the
history of my own mind. It was not long since Dr. Middleton's free
inquiry had founded an alarm in the theological world: much ink and
much gall had been spilt in the defence of the primitive miracles;
and the two dullest of their champions were crowned with academic
honours by the university of Oxford. The name of Middleton was
unpopular; and his proscription very naturally led me to peruse his
writings, and those of his antagonists. His bold criticism, which
approaches the precipice of infidelity, produced on my mind a
singular effect; and had I persevered in the communion of Rome, I
should now apply to my own fortune the prediction of the Sibyl,
--Via prima salutis,
Quod minime reris, Graia, pandetur ab urbe.
The elegance of style and freedom of argument were repelled by a
shield of prejudice. I still revered the character, or rather the
names, of the saints and fathers whom Dr. Middleton exposes; nor
could he destroy my implicit belief, that the gift of miraculous
powers was continued in the church, during the first four or five
centuries of Christianity. But I was unable to resist the weight of
historical evidence, that within the same period most of the leading
doctrines of popery were already introduced in theory and practice:
nor was my conclusion absurd, that miracles are the test of truth,
and that the church must be orthodox and pure, which was so often
approved by the visible interposition of the Deity. The marvellous
tales which are so boldly attested by the Basils and Chrysostoms,
the Austins and Jeroms, compelled me to embrace the superior merits
of celibacy, the institution of the monastic life, the use of the
sign of the cross, of holy oil, and even of images, the invocation
of saints, the worship of relics, the rudiments of purgatory in
prayers for the dead, and the tremendous mystery of the sacrifice of
the body and blood of Christ, which insensibly swelled into the
prodigy of transubstantiation. In these dispositions, and already
more than half a convert, I formed an unlucky intimacy with a young
gentleman of our college, whose name I shall spare. With a
character less resolute, Mr.--- had imbibed the same religious
opinions; and some Popish books, I know not through what channel,
were conveyed into his possession. I read, I applauded, I believed
the English translations of two famous works of Bossuet, Bishop of
Meaux, the Exposition of the Catholic Doctrine, and the History of
the Protestant Variations, achieved my conversion, and I surely fell
by a noble hand. I have since examined the originals with a more
discerning eye, and shall not hesitate to pronounce, that Bossuet is
indeed a master of all the weapons of controversy. In the
Exposition, a specious apology, the orator assumes, with consummate
art, the tone of candour and simplicity; and the ten-horned monster
is transformed, at his magic touch, into the milk-white hind, who
must be loved as soon as she is seen. In the History, a bold and
well-aimed attack, he displays, with a happy mixture of narrative
and argument, the faults and follies, the changes and contradictions
of our first reformers; whose variations (as he dexterously
contends) are the mark of historical error, while the perpetual
unity of the catholic church is the sign and test of infallible
truth. To my present feelings it seems incredible that I should
ever believe that I believed in transubstantiation. But my
conqueror oppressed me with the sacramental words, "Hoc est corpus
meum," and dashed against each other the figurative half-meanings of
the protestant sects: every objection was resolved into omnipotence;
and after repeating at St. Mary's the Athanasian creed, I humbly
acquiesced in the mystery of the real presence.
"To take up half on trust, and half to try,
Name it not faith, but bungling bigotry,
Both knave and fool, the merchant we may call,
To pay great sums, and to compound the small,
For who would break with Heaven, and would not break for all?"
No sooner had I settled my new religion than I resolved to profess
myself a catholic. Youth is sincere and impetuous; and a momentary
glow of enthusiasm had raised me above all temporal considerations.
By the keen protestants, who would gladly retaliate the example of
persecution, a clamour is raised of the increase of popery: and they
are always loud to declaim against the toleration of priests and
jesuits, who pervert so many of his majesty's subjects from their
religion and allegiance. On the present occasion, the fall of one
or more of her sons directed this clamour against the university:
and it was confidently affirmed that popish missionaries were
suffered, under various disguises, to introduce themselves into the
colleges of Oxford. But justice obliges me to declare, that, as far
as relates to myself, this assertion is false; and that I never
conversed with a priest, or even with a papist, till my resolution
from books was absolutely fixed. In my last excursion to London, I
addressed myself to Mr. Lewis, a Roman catholic bookseller in
Russell-street, Covent Garden, who recommended me to a priest, of
whose name and order I am at present ignorant. In our first
interview he soon discovered that persuasion was needless. After
sounding the motives and merits of my conversion he consented to
admit me into the pale of the church; and at his feet on the eighth
of June 1753, I solemnly, though privately, abjured the errors of
heresy. The seduction of an English youth of family and fortune was
an act of as much danger as glory; but he bravely overlooked the
danger, of which I was not then sufficiently informed. "Where a
person is reconciled to the see of Rome, or procures others to be
reconciled, the offence (says Blackstone) amounts to high treason."
And if the humanity of the age would prevent the execution of this
sanguinary statute, there were other laws of a less odious cast,
which condemned the priest to perpetual imprisonment, and
transferred the proselyte's estate to his nearest relation. An
elaborate controversial epistle, approved by my director, and
addressed to my father, announced and justified the step which I had
taken. My father was neither a bigot nor a philosopher; but his
affection deplored the loss of an only son; and his good sense was
astonished at my strange departure from the religion of my country.
In the first sally of passion he divulged a secret which prudence
might have suppressed, and the gates of Magdalen College were for
ever shut against my return. Many years afterwards, when the name
of Gibbon was become as notorious as that of Middleton, it was
industriously whispered at Oxford, that the historian had formerly
"turned papist;" my character stood exposed to the reproach of
inconstancy; and this invidious topic would have been handled
without mercy by my opponents, could they have separated my cause
from that of the university. For my own part, I am proud of an
honest sacrifice of interest to conscience. I can never blush, if
my tender mind was entangled in the sophistry that seduced the acute
and manly understandings of CHILLINGWORTH and BAYLE, who afterwards
emerged from superstition to scepticism.
While Charles the First governed England, and was himself governed
by a catholic queen, it cannot be denied that the missionaries of
Rome laboured with impunity and success in the court, the country,
and even the universities. One of the sheep,
--Whom the grim wolf with privy paw
Daily devours apace, and nothing said,