_The scene is a barber shop. At the center is the chair, facing a
mirror and washstand at the right. The tiled walls are sprinkled
with the usual advertisements. At the rear, a door leads up to
the street by a flight of two or three steps. A dock on the left
wall indicates three._
_At the rise of curtain, THE BARBER, a man of fifty, is
discovered sharpening a razor, and whistling softly to himself.
He finishes with the razor; seats himself in the chair, takes up
a paper, and reads._
_The door opens, and THE CUSTOMER, a flashily-dressed individual
of forty-five, enters the shop._
THE BARBER. (_Rising at once_) Good afternoon, sir.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Pulling out his watch_) That clock right?
THE BARBER. Yes, sir; Western Union time. Corrected every hour.
THE CUSTOMER. My watch has run down. (_He sets it._) Now, I've
got just five minutes to spare. Can you shave me in that time?
THE BARBER. Five minutes, sir? Easy! Easy!
THE CUSTOMER. All right. Go ahead. (_He takes off his hat and
coat, and moves towards the chair._)
THE BARBER. Your collar also, sir.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Smiling_) Fussy, aren't you?
THE BARBER. Well, sir, I try to do my work well.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Takes off tie and collar, putting his expensive
scarf-pin in the edge of his vest, which he does not remove_)
Satisfied now?
THE BARBER. Yes, sir Thank you, sir. (_He gets out sheet, towels,
etc._) In a hurry, sir?
THE CUSTOMER. Yes. Got to attend a meeting at three-ten.
THE BARBER. Oh! The auction up-stairs?
THE CUSTOMER. Yes. (_He glances at the clock._) You'll have to
cut it pretty fine.
THE BARBER. Don't worry, sir. There's lots of time.... From the
country, sir?
THE CUSTOMER. (_Lighting a cigar_) Yes. Southerner.
THE BARBER. (_Fastening the sheet_) I thought so. I'm from the
country myself.
THE CUSTOMER. What part?
THE BARBER. Oh, that would be difficult to say. You see, I've
moved around so much that I'm neither a Southerner nor a
Northerner. I'm just an American. (_He mixes the lather._) I
lived in a little town near Savannah for a year.
THE CUSTOMER. Did you? Why, so did I.
THE BARBER. Yes, indeed. I used to see you--quite frequently--
though you never came into my shop. Then I went to Philadelphia.
THE CUSTOMER. What year?
THE BARBER. Let me think. It was April, twelve years ago.
THE CUSTOMER. April, twelve years ago? _I_ went to Philadelphia
the same month!
THE BARBER. I saw you there, too, sir. (_He lets down the chair
suddenly._)
THE CUSTOMER. (_Startled_) What are you doing?
THE BARBER. I'm hurrying, sir.
THE CUSTOMER. Well, you needn't break my neck about it.
THE Barber. No, sir. (_Lathering._) From Philadelphia I went to
Newark.
THE CUSTOMER. To Newark?
THE BARBER. And from Newark to Indianapolis.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Much surprised_) What?
THE BARBER. And then Muscatine--for a few months--and Chicago--
and Louisville.
THE CUSTOMER. Why, one would think you had been following me
about! I've lived in every one of those places.
THE BARBER. Have you, sir? It's a little world, isn't it?
THE CUSTOMER. You've been a barber right along?
THE BARBER. I couldn't do anything else, sir. It's my trade.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Smiling_) Well, this is the first time you ever
shaved me.
THE BARBER. Curious, isn't it? But it may be the last.
THE CUSTOMER. That's so. I'm going to leave town right after the
auction.
THE BARBER. If I may ask, sir, where are you going?
THE CUSTOMER. I don't know yet. (_Jocularly._) Are you going to
follow me?
THE BARBER. Sooner or later, sir. It's going to be a long
journey, isn't it?
THE CUSTOMER. What makes you think so?
THE BARBER. There's a long journey we all take--sooner or later.
Eh?
THE CUSTOMER. A long journey? But you're wasting time, man!
THE BARBER. Am I, sir? (_He strolls to the clock; looks at it;
returns._) Fine weather we're having.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Impatiently_) Yes.
THE BARBER. Though a little more rain would be good for the
crops.
THE CUSTOMER. Um.
THE BARBER. (_Very leisurely_) You know, sir, the young man who
keeps the shoe store at the corner was saying as I trimmed his
hair this morning--
THE CUSTOMER. (_Interrupting_) I don't care what he said! I want
to get shaved!
THE BARBER. Yes, sir! Yes, sir! And--and the young lady who runs
the news stand up-stairs--right next to the elevator, sir--she
was saying that she had never--
THE CUSTOMER. (_Interrupting more violently_) I told you once I
don't care what your friends were saying! I've got to be at that
meeting at three-ten.
THE BARBER. Yes, sir.
THE CUSTOMER. My time is almost up. You'll have to hurry.
THE BARBER. (_Slapping on more lather_) Don't worry, sir. I
always keep my promises. Why, I remember, sir, back in Savannah,
when my poor daughter was alive, I promised--
THE CUSTOMER. (_Interrupting angrily_) I don't give a damn for
your daughter!
THE BARBER. (_Mildly_) No, sir. I didn't think you did.
THE CUSTOMER. And your time is up.
THE BARBER. (_Beginning to shave_) Oh, no, sir! It hasn't begun.
THE CUSTOMER. (_Starting_) What do you mean?
THE BARBER. Don't do that again, sir! You don't know how near you
came to cutting yourself!
THE CUSTOMER. You promised to finish with me in five minutes!
THE BARBER. No, sir, if you will allow me to contradict you, I
did not.
THE CUSTOMER. You said you would shave me in five minutes.
THE BARBER. Yes, sir. _That_ is correct.