It has been asserted, “That no being, merely human, could properly
educate a child.” I entirely coincide with this author; but though
perfection cannot be attained, and unforeseen events will ever govern
human conduct, yet still it is our duty to lay down some rule to
regulate our actions by, and to adhere to it, as consistently as our
infirmities will permit. To be able to follow Mr. Locke’s system (and
this may be said of almost all treatises on education) the parents must
have subdued their own passions, which is not often the case in any
considerable degree.
The marriage state is too often a state of discord; it does not always
happen that both parents are rational, and the weakest have it in their
power to do most mischief.
How then are the tender minds of children to be cultivated?—Mamma is
only anxious that they should love her best, and perhaps takes pains to
sow those seeds, which have produced such luxuriant weeds in her own
mind. Or, what still more frequently occurs, the children are at first
made play-things of, and when their tempers have been spoiled by
indiscreet indulgence, they become troublesome, and are mostly left with
servants; the first notions they imbibe, therefore, are mean and vulgar.
They are taught cunning, the wisdom of that class of people, and a love
of truth, the foundation of virtue, is soon obliterated from their
minds. It is, in my opinion, a well-proved fact, that principles of
truth are innate. Without reasoning we assent to many truths; we feel
their force, and artful sophistry can only blunt those feelings which
nature has implanted in us as instinctive guards to virtue.
Dissimulation and cunning will soon drive all other good qualities
before them, and deprive the mind of that beautiful simplicity, which
can never be too much cherished.
Indeed it is of the utmost consequence to make a child artless, or to
speak with more propriety, not to teach them to be otherwise; and in
order to do so we must keep them out of the way of bad examples. Art is
almost always practiced by servants, and the same methods which children
observe them to use, to shield themselves from blame, they will
adopt—and cunning is so nearly allied to falsehood, that it will
infallibly lead to it—or some foolish prevaricating subterfuge will
occur; to silence any reproaches of the mind which may arise, if an
attention to truth has been inculcated.
Another cause or source of art is injudicious correction. Accidents or
giddy tricks are too frequently punished, and if children can conceal
these, they will, to avoid chastisement. Restrain them, therefore, but
never correct them without a very sufficient cause; such as a violation
of truth, cruelty to animals, inferiors, or those kind of follies which
lead to vice.
Children should be permitted to enter into conversation; but it requires
great discernment to find out such subjects as will gradually improve
them. Animals are the first objects which catch their attention; and I
think little stories about them would not only amuse but instruct at the
same time, and have the best effect in forming the temper and
cultivating the good dispositions of the heart. There are many little
books which have this tendency. One in particular I recollect: The
Perambulations of a Mouse. I cannot here help mentioning a book of
hymns, in measured prose, written by the ingenious author of many other
proper lessons for children. These hymns, I imagine, would contribute to
fill the heart with religious sentiments and affections; and, if I may
be allowed the expression, make the Deity obvious to the senses. The
understanding, however, should not be overloaded any more than the
stomach. Intellectual improvements, like the growth and formation of the
body, must be gradual—yet there is no reason why the mind should lie
fallow, while its “frail tenement” is imperceptibly fitting itself for a
more reasonable inhabitant. It will not lie fallow; promiscuous seeds
will be sown by accident, and they will shoot up with the wheat, and
perhaps never be eradicated.
Whenever a child asks a question, it should always have a reasonable
answer given it. Its little passions should be engaged. They are mostly
fond of stories, and proper ones would improve them even while they are
amused. Instead of these, their heads are filled with improbable tales,
and superstitious accounts of invisible beings, which breed strange
prejudices and vain fears in their minds.
The lisp of the nursery is confirmed, and vulgar phrases are acquired;
which children, if possible, should never hear. To be able to express
the thoughts with facility and propriety, is of great consequence in
life, and if children were never led astray in this particular, it would
prevent much trouble.
The riot too of the kitchen, or any other place where children are left
only with servants, makes the decent restraint of the parlour irksome. A
girl, who has vivacity, soon grows a romp; and if there are male
servants, they go out a walking with them, and will frequently take
little freedoms with Miss, the bearing with which gives a forwardness to
her air, and makes her pert. The becoming modesty, which being
accustomed to converse with superiors, will give a girl, is entirely
done away. I must own, I am quite charmed when I see a sweet young
creature, shrinking as it were from observation, and listening rather
than talking. It is possible a girl may have this manner without having
a very good understanding. If it should be so, this diffidence prevents
her from being troublesome.
It is the duty of a parent to preserve a child from receiving wrong
impressions.—As to prejudices, the first notions we have deserve that
name; for it is not till we begin to waver in our opinions, that we
exert our reason to examine them—and then, if they are received, they
may be called our own.
The first things, then, that children ought to be encouraged to observe,
are a strict adherence to truth; a proper submission to superiors; and
condescension to inferiors. These are the main articles; but there are
many others, which compared to them are trivial, and yet are of
importance. It is not pleasing to see a child full of bows and grimaces;
yet they need not be suffered to be rude. They should be employed, and
such fables and tales may be culled out for them as would excite their
curiosity. A taste for the beauties of nature should be very early
cultivated: many things, with respect to the vegetable and animal world,
may be explained in an amusing way; and this is an innocent source of
pleasure within every one’s reach.
Above all, try to teach them to combine their ideas. It is of more use
than can be conceived, for a child to learn to compare things that are
similar in some respects, and different in others. I wish them to be
taught to think—thinking, indeed, is a severe exercise, and exercise of
either mind or body will not at first be entered on, but with a view to
pleasure. Not that I would have them make long reflections; for when
they do not arise from experience, they are mostly absurd.