As I conceive it to be the duty of every rational creature to attend to
its offspring, I am sorry to observe, that reason and duty together have
not so powerful an influence over human conduct, as instinct has in the
brute creation. Indolence, and a thoughtless disregard of every thing,
except the present indulgence, make many mothers, who may have momentary
starts of tenderness, neglect their children. They follow a pleasing
impulse, and never reflect that reason should cultivate and govern those
instincts which are implanted in us to render the path of duty
pleasant—for if they are not governed they will run wild; and strengthen
the passions which are ever endeavouring to obtain dominion—I mean
vanity and self-love.
The first thing to be attended to, is laying the foundation of a good
constitution. The mother (if there are not very weighty reasons to
prevent her) ought to suckle her children. Her milk is their proper
nutriment, and for some time is quite sufficient. Were a regular mode of
suckling adopted, it would be far from being a laborious task. Children,
who are left to the care of ignorant nurses, have their stomachs
overloaded with improper food, which turns acid, and renders them very
uncomfortable. We should be particularly careful to guard them in their
infant state from bodily pain; as their minds can then afford them no
amusement to alleviate it. The first years of a child’s life are
frequently made miserable through negligence or ignorance. Their
complaints are mostly in their stomach or bowels; and these complaints
generally arise from the quality and quantity of their food.
The suckling of a child also excites the warmest glow of tenderness—Its
dependant, helpless state produces an affection, which may properly be
termed maternal. I have even felt it, when I have seen a mother perform
that office; and am of opinion, that maternal tenderness arises quite as
much from habit as instinct. It is possible, I am convinced, to acquire
the affection of a parent for an adopted child; it is necessary,
therefore, for a mother to perform the office of one, in order to
produce in herself a rational affection for her offspring.
Children very early contract the manners of those about them. It is easy
to distinguish the child of a well-bred person, if it is not left
entirely to the nurse’s care. These women are of course ignorant, and to
keep a child quiet for the moment, they humour all its little caprices.
Very soon does it begin to be perverse, and eager to be gratified in
every thing. The usual mode of acting is complying with the humours
sometimes, and contradicting them at others—just according to the
dictates of an uncorrected temper. This the infant finds out earlier
than can be imagined, and it gives rise to an affection devoid of
respect. Uniformity of conduct is the only feasible method of creating
both. An inflexible adherence to any rule that has been laid down makes
children comfortable, and saves the mother and nurse much trouble, as
they will not often contest, if they have not once conquered. They will,
I am sure, love and respect a person who treats them properly, if some
one else does not indiscreetly indulge them. I once heard a judicious
father say, “He would treat his child as he would his horse: first
convince it he was its master, and then its friend.” But yet a rigid
style of behaviour is by no means to be adopted; on the contrary, I wish
to remark, that it is only in the years of childhood that the happiness
of a human being depends entirely on others—and to embitter those years
by needless restraint is cruel. To conciliate affection, affection must
be shown, and little proofs of it ought always to be given—let them not
appear weaknesses, and they will sink deep into the young mind, and call
forth its most amiable propensities. The turbulent passions may be kept
down till reason begins to dawn.
In the nursery too, they are taught to speak; and there they not only
hear nonsense, but that nonsense retailed out in such silly, affected
tones as must disgust;—yet these are the tones which the child first
imitates, and its innocent playful manner renders them tolerable, if not
pleasing; but afterwards they are not easily got the better of—nay, many
women always retain the pretty prattle of the nursery, and do not forget
to lisp, when they have learnt to languish.
Children are taught revenge and lies in their very cradles. If they fall
down, or strike their heads against any thing, to quiet them they are
bid return the injury, and their little hands held out to do it. When
they cry, or are troublesome, the cat or dog is chastised, or some
bugbear called to take them away; which only terrifies them at first,
for they soon find out that the nurse means nothing by these dreadful
threatenings. Indeed, so well do they discover the fallacy, that I have
seen little creatures, who could scarcely speak, play over the same
tricks with their doll or the cat.
How, then, when the mind comes under discipline, can precepts of truth
be inforced, when the first examples they have had would lead them to
practice the contrary?