"Imagine," he said, "a constituency of 40,000 voters who elect four
representatives. Obviously anyone who gets 40,001 votes is elected. Well
then, there are ten candidates. All you have to do is to take the quotient
of _x_ divided by _y_, where _x_ can be raised to the _n_th power and _y_
can be raised to the _n_th-1, and add to this the least common denominator
of the number of votes cast for the last three candidates, taking care to
eliminate in each case the square root of _z_, where _z_ equals the number
of voters belonging to the Church of England, _minus_ Archdeacons and Rural
Deans, but inclusive of Minor Canons and Precentors. Do you follow me?"
"Ye-es," I said.
"I thought you would," he said. "Next we proceed to take the multiples of
the superhydrates mathematically converted into decimals, and then,
allowing, of course, for the kilometric variation of the earth's maximum
temperature reduced by the square of the hypotenuse, you begin the delicate
operation of transferring votes from one candidate to another in packets of
not less than one hundred. That's easy, isn't it?"
"Oh, yes," I said, "that's quite easy."
"Very well then," he said. "You have now got two candidates elected, A. and
B. You take from them 653 votes, which do not legitimately belong to them,
and you mix them up with the surplus votes of the remaining eight
candidates. Unless C. is a congenital idiot, or a felon, or otherwise
incapacitated, he will then be found to have 4,129 votes, and he too will
be elected. For the last place you must proceed on a basis of geometrical
progression. There are still seven candidates, but four of these have no
earthly and must be withdrawn by a writ of _Ne exeat regno_, taking with
them the 2,573 votes which are properly or improperly theirs, and leaving
3,326 votes to be added to those already recorded for D., who, being thus
elected into the position of fourth letter of the alphabet, will be
returned as elected on the Temperance and Vegetarian ticket. So finally you
get your members duly elected without the blighting interference of the
Caucus and the party wire-pullers generally. You see that, of course?"
"Yes," I said, "I suppose I see it."
"Of course you do, and the others will see it too. And they'll realise that
the House of Commons will be a different place when the old system is
destroyed and every shade of opinion is represented. But what chiefly
appeals to me in it is its extraordinary simplicity and perspicuous ease. A
child could perform the duties of counter or returning officer, and any
voter, male or female, can master the system in about five minutes."
I thanked Mr. WELLS for his courtesy and staggered dizzily back to Bouverie
Street.
* * * * *