a trying thing, after all, so different from home, but we liked it, as
it's the fashion. We have been invited to several affairs and Pa
delivered a talk before the King and Queen and the Royal House about his
air ship. To-morrow he is to take the King and Queen out for a short
sail. It seems strange, to talk about sailing through the air, but it is
so, and I reckon air ships will become somewhat popular; but Pa says
most people will rather dangle their feet in the water in a boat than
take chances in sailing in an air ship. It is majestic to sail through
the air like a big bird, I think.
* * * * *
Well, here we are in Spain and we have been presented to Spain's King
and Queen. Pa won't display his air ship here. We are to stay only ten
days, then return back to London for our homeward trip. We shall stay in
Liverpool some weeks, I expect, as Pa has a cousin there who is crazy
about air ships, so Pa will stay with them and I expect he and Pa will
plan another wonder.
LETTER XI
Well, dear little book, nine busy and happy months have passed since I
have been able to find you. I have lots more stories to put down when I
get time, but I will only record the one that seems to me most wonderful
to-day. Pa has had the most wonderful success with his air ship, but I
somehow cling pretty strongly to earth and my dear old darling Franklin
car. She's a beauty and just as fine as ever, and I like her better
every day. She is like a dear friend, the more you know their beautiful
traits of character the more you love them, and that's the way with my
Franklin--a royal friend, proved solid, true and loyal--what more could
one ask of an automobile. Pa says Jimmy is getting on fine in his
studies. He is learning to be a valued boy for Pa, and his nameless
wonder. The only trouble with Jimmy is that he wants the band going all
the time, and he to dance. Pa asked him how he expected to dance and
motor both at the same time, but he will; he will dance and hop and keep
his hands on the wheel. It's a funny sight.
Well, what I started out to say was that "Jimmy Jones" has a newspaper
record. His picture was in the paper and he got dozens of them and had
them all pinned up all over our private garage last Sunday week. We had
an awful, awful thunder-storm and Jimmy was in the garage with Teddy,
the yellow dog. Well, all of a sudden an awful flash of lightning came
and the thunder was so loud that we were all most stunned. Jimmy
declared it clean knocked him off his pins. A few seconds after the
flash and thunder was over Jimmy noticed a ball the size of a large
orange and about the same color, bobbing against the window pane, like a
grampa longlegs in summer. Jimmy said it crackled and sputtered like
anything, as it bobbed against the pane, like a rubber ball. When he
opened the window the ball bounced into the room and floated about the
room like a balloon. Jimmy grabbed the broom used to sweep the garage,
and struck at it. He hit it several times, but it would bound off again,
but at last the blow went home and the ball busted, and hundreds of the
most beautiful stones I ever saw fell on the floor. Jimmy ran for Pa and
we all went out to see the wonder--which was a wonder. A note was found
written in French, saying the Ball and Jewels were from the Planet
Jupiter; that the people were men very like us, only they were all
golden blonds, both men and women, and that they all spoke the French
language; that they had had automobiles and air ships for over five
thousand years, and that their best speeder was the Franklin touring
car; said the roads were smooth and level, and that they were just
natural; that they had been watching this world for a long time, and
said we were getting on; said Jupiter had many more men than women, and
would like to send some of them here, perhaps they could in 2906, also
that precious stones were as thick on Jupiter as fleas are here in
haying-time; that the ball of jewels sent was shot out of a lightning
cannon, which they hoped would shoot far enough to reach this earth;
said if it wasn't back in six months, they would know some one got it;
said the jewels were the finest, but not so expensive there as here,
because there they are very plentiful; said the "Man from Now" once
lived in Jupiter and they kicked him out, that's how he was showing
around Boston; said there was a man who spent heaps of Jupiter Globe
funds and declared he was a brother to Fitzgerald here; said automobiles
don't kill the people in Jupiter because they can all fly, and get out
of the way; said they would make it very homelike for any Boston
schoolmarms that want husbands; said there were no rum-shops up there
(some people of Boston would have to get a new job that are saloon
hunters); that the Golden Rule was all the religion they needed, and was
signed "Weston Franklin," the maker of the noted Franklin Automobile.
When Jimmy was telling the gardener about it he said, "Hully gee, how am
I to let dose guys know I got de rocks, de Governor says dey are worth a
big pile of dough here and he will sell them and invest de money and I
will have to study hard and be a man. Golly, does he tink I am a cow? I
don't care. I wouldn't know what to do with de money, so de Governor
might des as well keep it for me. I will go up to Jubator myself some
day when dey gits de air ships going safe. I didn't ever expect to see
de one dat went ober across de pond, a few months ago, but it came down
safe and all on board. Yes, I'm getting along fine on de automobile. I
can run it all right but I can't keep me feet still when I hear dat band
of de Governor's, though. Say, dat's a peach you bet yer boots. It's a
hummer. I reckon de Franklin car is de best on de street. Now dey has it
on de planet Jubator all de swells will have one here; it will be more
de rage dan ever before. Miss Elsie, she says she always felt it was de
best one, and she knows what's good. Yes, I will turn in now. Good
night."
LETTER XII
"Jimmy" has been relating more of his troubles to the gardener. Last
night it was so unusual that I will record it, as he seems to be a part
of our life in a way. Pa and Levey Cohen say he is naturally a good
foundation to build on--and they must know. "Say, Mr. Gardner, what you
tink, de boys are calling me Mr. Jones, since de Governor sold dem rocks
and got fifty thousand dollars for de lump, and I have had my picture in
de Boston 'American.' Say Hearst is a pretty good man; he would be all
right if he was a Republican, but Dick says he's on de wrong side of de
pump in politics. Anyway he treated me white--made a very decent picture
of me. It looks a sight better any day, than I does, Peg says, and she
has good eyes, she has. Well, as I was saying, fancy me being called Mr.
Jones. Hully gee, it made me sick to me stomach. I wonder if de push
tinks I am going to swell up and bust 'cause I've got a few dollars now?
I ain't seen it, de Governor says I'se got it, all right, but I don't
feel no different than I did before, except I have de faith dat if I
gets a college ice once a week I won't miss de five cents when I needs a
pair of shoes, or a handkerchief. Say, mister, I notices some charge ten
cents for dem college ices. I had one what cost ten cents de other week
and 'tween you and me I couldn't see a might of difference in de two,
except de price. Dick says I'm like de Irishman. Said all de taste I had
was in me mouth. I've got on fine at de night school--de teachers say I
must drop my slang, but, hully gee! I don't use any slang, much. I told
de Professor to go oil his lamps, and he got mad and kept me after
school. I be hanged if I notice that I use much slang. Wouldn't it bust
de buttons off your vest how perticular some folks be? Hully gee! I
don't want to be mean, nor nothing, but I must have time to git my own
lamps trimmed, 'cause I'se always had to bump up against it hard, ever
since I was born. I would like awful well if I could run up on de silver
rays of de moon to dat planet Jubator; it must be a fine place up dare.
Just tink, no rivers, and seas, to git drownded in, just deep wells,
thick as peas in a pod, but no boats, or ships. Hully gee! only land,
land everywhere. I would feel lonesome without de oder of de Charles
River here. Sometimes it smells pretty bad, but I could even stand that
than no smell at all. Oh, I want to tell yer before I forgit it. I went
out in de country last night with Dick, to see his granny what lives out
to Salem Willows. Well, they have a little patch of land there behind
the house and Dick's granny keeps a few hens, and she had some nice
custards in old cups and we had a feast, let me tell you. Dick's granny
keeps a goat, and a male sheep with big horns. He's an awful ugly cuss,
and we saw ample proof of his ugliness. Dick went out to feed him and he
broke his chain and came for Dick lickety slap bang and bunted Dick all
over the yard. He tried to get up, but every time he moved the old he
sheep would draw back and knock him down. He kept him there for more
than an hour, I guess. Last his granny missed him and went to the door
and Dick yelled for me to come out and drive the old he sheep off. I got
the poker and went for Mr. Sheep. I gave him a good clip over his nose
and he didn't feel like bunting any more; then I turned to Dick and
said, 'Button, button, who got the button?' and Dick said, 'Well, if you
had been here when I first came out you would have seen plain enough who
it was.' Then we came back home and Dick says he's no friend to that he
sheep any more. I don't blame him at all. That he sheep ought to have
had more sense, but he didn't. Dat he sheep seemed to have a heap of
respect for me after I gave him a rap over his nose. I reckon he would
have called me Mr. Jones, if he could talk, with the accent on the Mr.
"The Governor told me if I wanted to get ahead I must get the bulldog
grip. I told him I never seed one, and he said, 'Jimmy, didn't you ever
see an old maid in the country set the bulldog on a tramp and see with
what a grip the dog held on to the seat of the tramp's trousers as he
tried to get over the fence?' I said I had, and he said that was what a
bulldog grip means. Just get a strong, good hold and hang on. He said
the Mason's grip wasn't so strong; said I ought to see a Mason ride the
lodge goat. He said it was more fun to see the other fellow do it than
to ride yourself."
We are planning for the Automobile Magazine Cup race. The cup is a
stunner; it cost five thousand dollars, the most unique cup ever offered
for a race. Pa says I can enter my Franklin Flyer as I am set on it so
much. Levey Cohen says I'll win, so does Jimmy. I hope I do, then folks
would have to say a girl can do some things, too, as well as boys and
men.
Oct. 15, 1907. Say, but I am excited, for I have won the race. Fifteen
hundred miles with not one bad mark--a perfect score for a kid is rather
good, I think. I feel more pleased than I can tell. They had a plate
made with brilliants that spelled "Franklin, Model G," and put on to the
space left for the name in the cup. It's a dandy, let me tell you that.
Jimmy Jones yelled himself sick shouting for the Franklin at the end of
the tournament when the trophy was awarded. He said it took a live fish
to go up stream and the Franklin car was it. I never saw a boy so crazy
before. He said he would like to see the maker of the Franklin car
President of the United States, but I told him I guessed he would rather
turn out fast cars than to be president of anything but his own company.
There's only one President ever got rich while sitting in the
Presidential chair and he ought to have been in better business, Pa
says. Jimmy says we have a bully President now, and I guess that's
right, anyway, Pa and Levey Cohen say so, and they know. Jimmy was
telling our gardener more yarns and I will write what I can hear: "Say,
mister, wouldn't de new style of trousers put a feller on de bum,
though? I never seed such big wide trousers. Be gosh, I believe dey are
trying to git skirts on to de men. When I put me new suit on de Governor
got me last week, I thought it looked mighty queer, yet I never gave it
much thought till Peg got her peepers on them. She jest hollowed and she
says, 'Git on to de dude, trying to be a womens; almost petticoats,'
says she, 'not yet but soon. See de crease warble when ye walks. Hully
gee! Jimmy, if yese can walk and keep dat crease straight de cops will
pull yese in for talking too much boose. Ye will walk like a streak of
greased lightning to keep up wid ye pants, bet ye life, it will be more
work for ye than for a womens to keep her hat on straight, see?' Well, I
did see, and I asked de Governor to send dem to de dressmakers and git
de seam took in, but de Governor said, 'Jimmy, dat's de style,' but I
says, 'Scuse me, sir, but I want me pants to look like they were cut for
me and not for John L. Sullivan.' Peg says all de swell guys look like a
pole wid de cloth draped on to cover up dar slimness. Now what I want to
know is what de fat man can do wid all dat extra cloth around his pegs.
He will look like he was sent for and didn't come at all. De tailor what
made dat style must have been down East somewhere, perhaps down to
Wonderland or Lynn, and got too many drinks, so he thought everyting
went, even to de cloth for de trousers. I don't know whether he gits his
money by de week or per. Oh, I saw dat fine actor, Mr. Edmund Breese, in
de 'Lion and de Mouse.' Say, dat Breese man is a peach. He is mighty
good actor, mister. I wish you would go and see him. Peg says she wishes
I could make love like he can on de stage. She says she saw him at de
Castle Square, Boston, and he was de handsomest lover on de stage--so de
papers said, but you see I ain't it for polished manners. De Governor
says I've got to watch out all de time so not to git throwed down. I am
doing the best I can to stand on both me pins at once, but it must be
mighty find to be really born a gentleman like Mr. Breese. He bought a
paper of me several times when he was at de Park Theatre and he's a good
sort, all right. Got lots of good sense in his head, and he's popular.
Oh, I say, mister, did you ever hear one of them vaudeville fellows what
talks down in his boots and then yer think somebody's under the stage,
or in a trunk, or something awful. I mean one of them ventriloquists.
Well, mister, I have seen 'em all from Dan Harrington to dat English
chap what dey call Charlie Prince, but dey can't any of dem fellows hold
a candle to Harry Kane. Kane he styles hisself on de bill at de theatre.
He does de best act wid dem dummies I ever seed. Peg says all de others
are dead slow, but Kane makes his Irishman mighty mad at de nigger boy
he has. Dat Irish doll boy nearly gits alive, really, mister, he is so
mad at being near a nigger. Gosh, I never seed such a fight as dey gits
into. Makes ye wish you could go right down on de stage and give dat
black nigger a big punch in de eye, so if ye wants to see a good A1
ventriloquist see Kane. Say, you will miss me gab 'cause de Governor has
given me three weeks' vacation. Me salary goes on just the same. I feel
like a bank clerk or a cashier of a swell bank. So long, now, till
Christmas, which is not yet, but soon."
I reckon I'll say good night, too, little book, for my eyes are heavy
with sleep.
ELSIE.
THE END.
TESTIMONIAL
I am a pupil of the International Correspondence School of Scranton,
Pa., in Complete Advertising, and am very much pleased with their course
of instruction. It is plain, thorough, and meets every need of the
student. I am sure it's the "Open Sesame" to a successful business life
if one is in earnest and willing to study. Study is the only password to
success. This school is a mighty ally with one when willing to work to
reach the very top of the tree of knowledge, and have a part in the
world of successful men and women. The prizes in life are only for those
that work for them, and I am heartily in the race, and advise earnestly
any one wishing to gain knowledge and position, to come with us. Your
highest ambition can be attained if you will only work, and the teachers
of this school will show you how and aid you in your desire to better
yourself, and the world, by your work.
A grateful student,
ETHELLYN GARDNER,
Author of "The Letters of the Motor Girl."
End of Project Gutenberg's Letters of the Motor Girl, by Ethellyn Gardner