I must believe that the parents who fail, from carelessness or from
“lack of ambition”—the holy sort, which is equivalent to consecration
and diligence—to give the child the best possible preparation for a good
work, will be held responsible for the failure that would have resulted
if God had not stepped in with some special helps and prevented it.
Love for God will cover a multitude of social sins; but those who are
responsible for the sins will sometime have their reproach to bear. God
does not like to have to cover sins; he only does it so as to keep
things looking as tidy as possible, until they can be put entirely out
of the way. Covet the best gifts for your child, give him the best
possible social habits, and then turn him over to God for work, and God
will find rare service for him.
There are many teachings as to what constitutes good form at table. It
would be impossible for the ordinary mortal so to acquaint himself with
them as to become a “social success;” and this is far from our purpose.
All we need care about is to see that the habits formed are free from
anything offensive. Society is kind to one who is not ambitious for
social distinction,—one who has something to say that is worth hearing,
who represents a principle, or some new thing the discussion of which
may possibly furnish an agreeable diversion,—very much after the manner
of the Athenians in Paul’s time; so that even if one does not “know all
the ropes,” like one “to the Manor born,” he will be received and heard,
provided he does not blunder into the few things which good form has
decreed that he must not do under any circumstances.
Among these prohibited things are thrusting out the elbows from the side
so as to push his neighbor at table; resting the elbows on the table;
and extending the legs under it so as to bring the feet in the way of
those belonging to the guest opposite. If any guest does these things,
he may be sure that there will be at least three people over whom the
best and truest things that he can say will have very little influence.
The eyes of those who chance to glance his way will be seriously
offended and quickly averted if he should take up even a half-slice of
bread and bite into it. Good form says that bread must be broken off in
small bits, just when needed, not spread, but with a small lump of
butter placed upon it (provided one uses butter), conveyed to the mouth
with the thumb and finger of the left hand. You will be permitted to
bite the piece in two once if you wish, but no more; that is, it must
not be more than two “mouthfuls” to begin with. Under no circumstances
must anything, such as fruit-pits, etc., be ejected from the mouth into
a spoon, fork, or plate, but taken from the lips with the left thumb and
finger, and placed on the plate. Neither bread nor any refuse is ever to
be placed on the cloth, but on the side-dishes provided; or, lacking
these, on the one plate that is being used.
Food should not be conveyed to the mouth with a knife, but with a fork,
always excepting soup, and such sauce as must be handled with a spoon.
Do teach your children not to thrust the point of the spoon into the
mouth, but to take its contents with the lips from that part nearest the
handle, without the least possible sound. Teach them not to lift the
spoon so full that it will drip; and as your boy grows up into mustaches
he will need to learn how to take soup and sauce without defiling those
manly ornaments, or else to let soup alone at the banquet. But you can
teach him from childhood to handle his napkin so deftly as to keep his
lips clean, even after they have put on their thatch.
As to the napkin, by all means habituate the child to its use, even if
it be nothing more than a square of old calico or flour-sacking, hemmed,
or even _un_hemmed. He can learn on a piece of his mother’s old apron
how to use the fine linen of the king’s banquet-hall, and do it so
daintily that the apron and the mother who wore it down to napkin
dimensions will confer honor on the king’s damask.
O my sister mothers in the many humbler homes of those who love our Lord
and are looking for his appearing, has it seemed to you that any of
these things that I have written are trivial or burdensome, wholly
outside the sphere of life in which you and your children will ever
move? Are you so overburdened with many cares that you feel, when the
food is cooked and placed “anyhow,” that your part is done; that the
family may come “just as it happens” and eat, simply to satisfy hunger,
as do the cattle in the field? Have you thought that if you could but
get through the day anyhow, your duty was done? Still you must meet the
_certainties_ that are before you. Your children must bear a part in the
closing scenes of the world’s history,—ask yourself if there is not
something for you in these things that I have written. They have been
written with a most solemn sense of their importance. _They are a part
of the gospel message_; they concern the work which some one now in
training must do before the Lord can come.
The knowledge of how to prepare and serve a hygienic dinner, as well as
how to select suitable portions and decline others, at a worldly
banquet, may be absolutely necessary to the winning of souls in the last
call to the world.