A "School for Novelists," they say, has risen.
A School? What's really wanted is a Prison.
Life-long confinement far from pen and ink
_Might_ cure the crowd of fictionists, I _think_.
Or, if by Lessons you'd arrest the blight,
Go teach the Novelist how _not_ to write!
* * * * *
ATHLETICS.--It is said that the County Council are resolved to forbid
the popular feats of raising heavy weights, upon the ground that it
may lead to shoplifting.
* * * * *
WORKING AND PLAYING BEES.--_Lady B-ountiful_ first, at the Garrick,
and _Lady B-arter_ at the Princess's.
* * * * *
[Illustration: OLD FRIENDS.
_Big Ben_. "OH, FLATTERY'S THE BANE OF FRIENDSHIP! JUST LOOK AT YOU
AND ME, OLD MAN! WHY, I'VE _ALWAYS_ TOLD YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF,
HOWEVER DISAGREEABLE! IT'S A WAY I HAVE. AND YET WE'VE BEEN FAST
FRIENDS FOR FORTY YEARS, AND I LIKE YOU BETTER THAN ANY FRIEND I
POSSESS! INDEED, YOU'RE ABOUT THE ONLY FRIEND I'VE GOT LEFT!"
_Little Dick_ (_dreamily_). "AH, BUT YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT I'VE
_NEVER TOLD YOU THE TRUTH BACK AGAIN!_"]
* * * * *