It is universally known that when a man and woman have a mutual
interest, they get interested in each other. When they are in any way
drawn together, they soon find that they cannot live apart. When a man
grows accustomed to a woman with whom he is pleased, he desires to keep
her with him. So we may consider that a companionship with a man is
an unfailing way to win him. This companionship unfortunately is not
always easy to arrange.
It is often difficult to get up a mutual interest. When you can, be
sure to do so. It must come naturally however. A forced arrangement,
plainly seen, would defeat itself.
Marriages frequently take place between parties who board in the same
house. Seeing each other daily, getting well acquainted, and the
mutual interest, even of the table, will draw them together. A young
lady boarded, with her brother, in a house where there were no other
young ladies, but a number of gentlemen. All admired her, several were
smitten with her, and two asked her hand in marriage. A third began to
think more of her than of the girl to whom he was engaged.
A widow, with a nice home of her own, took two clergymen to board. It
was not long before both wanted to marry her. She did not want either
of them, but took the one who was the most persistent.
Singing together is another mutual interest. It is the means of many
a marriage. In a quartette, the soprano and tenor marry, the bass and
alto. The singer may marry his accompanist. Jennie Lind married her
unknown pianist, Goldschmidt, who was younger than herself. Actors, who
are always thrown much together, marry and unmarry _ad libitum_ in a
disgraceful way.
The marriage of the type-writer and her employer is so frequent that it
has passed into a joke. They grow interested in each other from mere
companionship.
A student falls in love with the sister of his friend where he visits
during vacation. The late Henry Ward Beecher met his wife at her
father’s home whither he had gone with a college chum, her brother.
I had an aunt who had offers from two students brought home by her
brothers. This is such a common occurrence that enterprising mothers
sometimes urge sons to bring home desirable students to introduce to
her daughters.
A lawyer will marry a fair client. I might add that he is the more
likely to do so if he is settling up a large estate for her.
A physician rarely marries a patient. If your heart is set upon a
certain physician do not play the rôle of an invalid. When you are sick
you should have a married physician. A young lady was taken ill with
pneumonia. Her family were strangers in the place, and, without knowing
it, called in an unmarried physician. He was interested in the case,
but not in the least in her. A year later he met her, when in perfect
health, at the house of a mutual friend and fell in love with her.
Living next door to each other will often make young people interested
in each other. Church-work which brings young men and maidens together
is fruitful of many marriages. A young man was put on a fair-table with
a number of ladies. He fell in love with the only unmarried one on it.
A young clergyman comes in contact with so many girls, and is so run
after, that going to his church and entering into the work for his sake
is but lost labor. If you want to work in a Church, do it for the Lord,
without a thought of who has charge of that body of worshippers.
We learn from Abelard and Heloise what the pupil will become to the
teacher. Almost always, when neither are married, free lessons in
love accompany another kind of a lesson--that is, if the lessons are
private. Men fall in love with a lady who teaches them anything. A
young lady was taught Hebrew by an unmarried clergyman. They married
about a year after the lessons began.
A man and woman who are in business together almost always marry. An
author has been known to marry her publisher. A Mr. Maxwell published
Miss Braddon’s novels, and now she is Mrs. Maxwell. Margaret Sydney
is the _nom de plume_ of a writer who married her publisher, Daniel
Lothrop, of Lothrop and Co.
An almost certain way to win a man’s love is to win his confidence.
When a man talks to a woman about his greatest interest, he becomes
interested in her. When he opens his whole heart to her, he gives her
that heart. I never knew this to fail. How to win this confidence is
the puzzle. The very man you want may be the one who knows the most
about keeping his affairs to himself. You will have to use tact and
patience in drawing him out. Get him to talk about his business, or
make him talk of his books, his pleasures, his family: always about
himself. Persist in this gently. Show him you can keep a secret.
Encourage him to talk about himself until he touches upon something
that is nearest his heart. Some men will do this sooner than others.
The man who readily confides in you, readily falls in love--and almost
as readily falls out. It is said that the heart which is easily won is
hard to keep; and that the heart which is hard to win you never lose.
When you have drawn any man to tell you his heart unreservedly, he is
yours.
A young man was in love with a girl of whom his mother did not approve.
He was much distressed by the fuss she made. He did not want to give
up the girl or to pain his mother. He must talk of his trouble to some
one, and he selected a young girl who was visiting the family. He told
her all his troubles. She encouraged him with infinite tact until he
spoke unreservedly. Whenever he could find her alone he talked of that
and of nothing else. Then he planned to be alone with her. Before three
months he loved her better than he did the first one.