"HELLO! Sandy, OLD MAN: how are you? is THE LURE OF THE CITY too much for
you? take that chair, please."
"Thanks: I really would not know what to do with it."
"Same old joker, I see: but tell me about THE MARRIAGE OF THEODORA: when
I heard of THE SUICIDE of her UNCLE WILLIAM.... By-the-bye, WHY DID HE DO
IT?"
"Well: I suppose THE UNFORSEEN happened, and, I dare say, he feared BARON
TRIGAULT'S VENGEANCE and moreover, I fancy he could not have stood THE
TEST of the probable revelations of RAILWAY MISRULE: SO THEY WERE
MARRIED, not AT THE VILLA ROSE, but at THE HOUSE OF SERRAVALLE, you know
THE RED-HOUSE ON ROWAN STREET, on THE UP GRADE from WOODSTOCK, on THE
SUNNY SIDE OF THE HILL: THEODORA'S HUSBAND, MR. OPP, is, by LONG ODDS,
the nicest chap I have met in years: of course, it was a MARRIAGE A LA
MODE, as he has inherited the greater portion of JOHN MARSH'S MILLIONS,
and he has undertaken THE EDUCATION OF JACQUELINE, THE RED HEAD, you
know: rather AN EMBARRASSING ORPHAN, but a jolly keen one, just the same:
knows about THREE HUNDRED THINGS A BRIGHT GIRL CAN DO, and she will be A
SUCCESS IN LIFE: but of all the FAIRIES I HAVE MET...."
"Inspector Morgan, your Grace," announces Jameson.
"Sorry, Sandy, I'll see you later. Morgan, I've been AN EXILE FROM LONDON
for one whole day: what's the news?"
"I thought your Grace would like to be in at THE ROUND-UP to-night, as I
believe you will have some personal interest in the case: I have not all
the ends joined: there are a few FRAGMENTS THAT REMAIN unattached, but it
is only a question of getting UNDER THE CRUST: but before I forget it;
the DOVER incident is closed: THE PASSENGER FROM CALAIS has been CAPTURED
and THE CAREER OF KATHERINE BUSH has been brought to a close: always hate
to run down THE WEAKER SEX, but QUICK ACTION was necessary. We are going
to Ratcliffe, your Grace, and I have The Yard's Rolls-Royce below, and if
you have no objection, we'll make a start. I have taken the PRECAUTION to
bring THE SCARLET RUNNER, as we call it; pretty heavy car, but greater
SECURITY; LIGHT MOTOR CARS AND VOITURETTES are no good for rough roads."
"JERRY," said Morgan, as they reached the curb, "GO-AHEAD, don't be a
'FRAID CAT, High street, Ratcliffe."
It took but a moment to get FROM LOW TO HIGH GEAR: through Hobart Place,
into VICTORIA Street, across New Palace Yard, and on to the Embankment.
"Give this motor HALF A CHANCE," said Morgan, "and you are GOING SOME:
Does your Grace see the man AT THE CROSS ROADS? that's MY FRIEND
PROSPERO: he has been connected with more CELEBRATED CRIMES than any man
at the Yard."
On HIGH SPEED, THE SCARLET CAR rushed past The Metropole, under Charing
Cross bridge, past The Needle and the imposing facade of SOMERSET HOUSE:
across Blackfriars entrance, and then into EARLY LONDON. "BREAKERS
AHEAD," called Morgan, "Jerry: careful of the mud." There really wasn't
any mud, only CITY DUST, but the sentence had to be interpolated here in
order to give a REASON for the next question.
"I don't suppose your Grace is interested in ROAD MATERIALS? Last year,
MY SON AND I made A STUDY OF SPLASHES."
The motor continued on its CROOKED WAY through Upper and Lower THAMES
streets, past THE TOWER OF LONDON, over THE BROKEN ROAD of Lower
Shadwell.
"Your Grace, I venture to say, A BIT OF ROUGH ROAD."
"Very, Morgan, but good for OUR DIGESTION, but THESE SHIFTING SCENES are
rather disconcerting."
The motor was stopped at Love Lane, where the party was met by POLICEMAN
BLUE JAY, who accompanied them to the THAMES Wharf, BEYOND the No. 3
shaft of Rotherhithe Tunnel.
"Inspector," said THE PILOT, "here's A STROKE OF LUCK; this is no WILD
GOOSE CHASE; your trip is not IN VAIN; you're JUST IN TIME, for the boat
is still at ANCHOR."
"WHAT SHALL WE DO NOW?" asked the Duke, not KNOWING, OTHER PEOPLE'S
BUSINESS.
And Morgan, pointing through THE PURPLE MISTS, to the SURREY side, for
the early DAWN was upon them, said:
"We have now reached THE END OF THE JOURNEY: do you see the ship in
MIDSTREAM off the Surrey Locks, in front of the gas tanks? That's our
destination: the DEAR ENEMY."
"But, Morgan, for THE LIFE OF ME, I fail to see where I come in."
"All in good time, your Grace: IT'S ALL IN A DAY'S WORK: again I say,
don't WORRY: but I see the EBB-TIDE is on," and blowing two blasts upon a
whistle, the Police-Boat, THE SEAWOLF, shot through THE OUTLET from
Shadwell Basin, where she was always HELD FOR ORDERS.
"Be careful, your Grace: get away, ANTONIO: THE BLACK BARQUE, you know:
and when we get aboard, all be careful of the OPEN HATCHWAYS."
And IN ANOTHER MOMENT, Morgan, standing in the bow, shouted "Ship Ahoy:
IN THE KING'S NAME, I want the captain of THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT," after
which they began climbing UP THE LADDER.
(A fight occurs here, a description of which has been omitted as it
contains some BLANKETY BLANK VERSE.)
"And now, my worthy CAP'N GID, cut out the SMILES: THE GAME is up: the
POPULATION of your HAPPY SHIP has dropped one; we have secured two
prisoners and if you don't want to be the third, COME down, and besides,
BY WHAT AUTHORITY are you SAILING, UNDER TWO FLAGS: IN SPITE OF ALL the
WHITE LIES you have told us, you have A YOUNG LADY aboard and we propose
to have THE GIRL: WORDS TO THE WISE, you know. I admit that you have been
A VICTIM OF VILLAINY, but you are playing A DESPERATE GAME, and THE
RECKONING is at hand. Where is THE HIDDEN VICTIM? what, may I ask, have
you over there IN GRANDMA'S CHEST, there in THE SHADOW, UNDER THE RED
ROBE? Put down that gun: anyway I can see it is not THE REAL THING."
(A fight occurs here, a description of which has been omitted, as there
was some PISTOL AND REVOLVER SHOOTING.)
"My CAPTAIN with the FAIRY TALES, THE CONFLICT is over; THE DAY'S WORK is
finished; as a FIGHTER, you're a monumental failure: go buy a scrap-book,
and learn how to become a prize-fighter, and as to SHOOTING FIRE-ARMS
like WILD FIRE, it was simply FURTHER FOOLISHNESS; but FOR THE LOVE OF
TONITA, come off your PIRATE BRIDGE; pull up, and remember IT IS NEVER
TOO LATE TO MEND: no more MONKEY SHINES: this HAPPY-GO-LUCKY business has
been EASY MONEY to you, you with THE ITCHING PALM; but it is really not
one of the THINGS WORTH DOING, and IT NEVER CAN HAPPEN AGAIN: I PROMISE
to let you off, and these are no IDLE WORDS, for you have been THE DUPE,
and I WISH YOU JOY in your FREEDOM, but OH! MARY BE CAREFUL, hereafter.
And NOW, my MAN, draw up at the ROYAL ALBERT Dock."
* * * * *
"EXCUSE ME, MY LORD DUKE," said Morgan, "I think instead of awaiting the
return of the motor, THE MORE EXCELLENT WAY will be to begin THE HOMEWARD
JOURNEY, by taking a tram here for West Ham, and then the District to THE
WEST END, THE LAND OF MAKE BELIEVE."
"GO-AHEAD BOYS: FOLLOW ME, your Grace," and carrying the still LIMPY
figure of the RELEASED girl, the party crossed the road.