MARJORIE'S VACATION was fast approaching its end; SHE and her friend
MARIETTA, BY FORCE OF CIRCUMSTANCES, were conducting a flourishing
TYPE-WRITING establishment, JUST BETWEEN THEMSELVES, at THE HOUSE ON
CHERRY STREET, on THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET, so that PASSERS-BY could
see THE WAY UP, and they always allowed themselves, as a VACATION, LITTLE
JOURNEYS of a fortnight's duration IN THAMESLAND or among THE ALPS.
Marjorie and her very best friend, BETTY STANDISH, were seated under THE
PLUM TREE, but obviously, not at a time when the fruit was over-ripe, in
THE GARDEN AT NO. 19, in that historic spot, CHANTREY LAND, as the old
village of Norton, DERBYSHIRE, is called, having just been served with a
second instalment of TEA, by TILLIE A MENNONITE MAID, who carried with
her, THE GLEAM of LOCAL COLOR. The girls had just had an exceedingly
trying two hours' visit from THE MAYOR'S WIFE, one of THE RAVENELS, and
whose only TOPICS FOR CONVERSATION, IN A NUTSHELL, were invariably IN
DEFENSE of her FAMILY; that she was following IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THE
BRONTES, and always ended with the statement that her BIG BROTHER, JOHN
HENRY SMITH, THE ARCHDEACON, had ordered the removal of THE OLD PEABODY
PEW, despite THE WARNING OF SEXTON MAGINNIS, that THE MONK'S TREASURE
would not be found in that part of THE LONELY CHURCH of ST. JUDE'S and
to-day, in addition to these thread-bare topics, she announced to her
hearers, that ON GOING TO CHURCH, she had passed AT CLOSE RANGE, LORD
LONDON, and his SISTER CARRIE, taking some STRAY BIRDS and TOY DOGS to
the ABANDONED, HILL-TOP FARM (to see the DOG STARS) and finally, that her
husband, SIR JOHN CONSTANTINE, had always been A SERVANT OF THE PUBLIC:
in fact, with the Mayor's wife, it was always, I MYSELF and my family,
and the young girls were at the point of collapse, when THE CRISIS came,
and THE EGOTISTICAL I, lady took her departure.
BETTY had picked up the INEVITABLE, MRS. RORER'S COOKBOOK, for she liked
THE FUN OF COOKING, in order to decide WHAT TO HAVE FOR DINNER, and with
the HOPE of making an entire change in the SUNDAY NIGHT SUPPERS, for one
can not subsist solely on BAKERS' BREAD or CREAM TOASTS.
"BETTY dear," said Marjorie, "I have come to the conclusion that THE CARD
SYSTEM IN THE OFFICE is valueless to US."
"Of course it is, if you say so; what does Marietta think? but listen; is
that MUSIC or someone in distress?"
For from HERE AND THERE came the sound of MUSIC; Oh! such NERVE-racking,
BROKEN MUSIC; Marjorie, at once, hastened to THE GIANT'S GATE, the last
remnant of Blunderbore castle, which once occupied the site of the
present house, to find the guilty person, and there discovered a
wretched-looking individual, with two still more wretched-looking
ANIMALS, which the man called THE TEDDY BEARS.
Now, as Marjorie believed, that in THE TRAINING OF WILD ANIMALS, one
should first secure their FRIENDSHIP, she, WITH THE BEST INTENTION, gave
each of the bears a piece of COTTAGE PIE, and this is no joke, either;
for bears LOVE this particular kind of pie; as a matter of fact, DIDO THE
DANCING BEAR, considers it THE RIGHT STUFF, and much prefers it to the
flesh of THE SALAMANDER, and in A SPIRIT OF MIRTH, she gave THE IMMORTAL
CHARLATAN some SIX PENNY PIECES, to take his PETS to NORTHANGER ABBEY, to
SERENADE the Mayor's wife, for, thought the young girl, harmless REVENGE
is sweet, and moreover she may be AT DEATH'S DOOR, after the trying time
she gave us.
"Betty, DEAR, I am so happy; we have had so many HAPPY DAYS and yet, I
shall be glad to return to THE CITY OF PLEASURE; is it not strange that
I, A MILLIONAIRE GIRL, should have to earn my own living, because of AN
OPERA AND LADY GRASMERE? but what am I saying? THE DAWN OF A TO-MORROW
is still far away; Horrors; there goes that fearful client of mine across
THE LONG ROAD: I am frightened. WHAT IS COMING? what does she want here?"
"Marjorie, tell me, what is worrying you? let us be COMRADES IN ARMS; let
me help you as I helped the FIVE LITTLE PEPPERS, IN THE LITTLE BROWN
HOUSE; let me be THE CUSTODIAN of your secret."
"Yes, dear, I'll confide in you: I AM not, as you have supposed, THE
DAUGHTER OF ANDERSON CROW; I truly believe I am Lord Cammerleigh's CHILD,
that I have a sister, who is none other than CELESTE, THE PRIMADONNA at
the Gaiety Theatre; and from what I have gathered from a WOMAN, the same
woman who just entered THE DEVIL'S GARDEN, who comes to our office to
have senseless letters type-written and apparently to no purpose, so far
as I can understand; I say, I believe my FATHER does not know where we
are and more than that, dare not look for us on account, I say, of what
this wretched woman calls THAT AFFAIR AT ELIZABETH: a question of
WATCHFUL WAITING; it is certainly A DESPERATE CONSPIRACY, and I shall not
rest until THE CONSPIRATORS are UNMASKED AT LAST; but no more to-night:
WHAT'S THE USE, you are CHILLY: put on THE GREENMANTLE and we will stroll
along PIDGIN ISLAND, as far as DARK HOLLOW to see if our little favorite
the PUFFINUS EYERMANI is still there, and TO-MORROW we will go to
SHREWSBURY to see JOEY AT THE FAIR feeding THE DRAGON."