THE Duke of Belleville, having arrived at THE STAGE DOOR of the Gaiety
Theatre, just ten minutes late, had failed to keep his appointment, and
had been informed by the door-man MR. PRATT that Mademoiselle Celeste had
left word that he was to go on to the Savoy, where she expected to have
supper and wanted the Duke to join the party.
The Duke, somewhat annoyed, but being made of THE RIGHT STUFF, as let us
hope all gentlemen are, merely remarked:
"I shall go IN SEARCH OF MADEMOISELLE" and turning, he pushed his way
through A MOTLEY crowd, the usual TYPES FROM CITY STREETS, regained his
motor, at the same time deciding to FIRST go to his chambers, ROUND THE
CORNER IN GAY STREET, to have a little chat with his friend, HENRY
ESMOND, who had adjoining chambers and who was THE FIRST SECRETARY to THE
PRIME MINISTER, and who was leaving on the morrow for EQUATORIAL AMERICA
to study THE NEGRO PROBLEM and the AFTERMATH OF SLAVERY.
AT THE OPEN DOOR to his chambers, the Duke was met by his man, Jameson,
who said,
"There is a LADY awaiting your Grace."
"Well, Jameson, who is THE MIDNIGHT GUEST?"
"I really don't know, your Grace, THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER is closely
veiled and will not give her name."
"Very well, there is no ALTERNATIVE, I'll see her, and, Jameson, remain
within call."
"GOOD EVENING, MY LADY OF DOUBT," said the Duke, "may I ask to
whom--great heavens, Evelyn, what are you doing here at this time of
NIGHT? Surely the WORLD'S END IS NEAR; WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? Your
independence, to say the least, is somewhat disconcerting; why not
telephone?"
"JACK, you are positively hateful; I could not telephone my message--no
EAVESDROPPER, I trust--I believe I am on the verge of discovering LORD
CAMMERLEIGH'S SECRET, and I want you to accompany ME to-morrow to THE
MATRIMONIAL BUREAU of THE PRINCESS DEHRA, that SORCERESS OF ROME, who has
many LITTLE STORIES, LAID UP IN LAVENDER and can always find THE MAN
HIGHER UP."
"OH, I SAY, Evelyn, you certainly do lead A SINGULAR LIFE; you know I am
not interested in these so-called TRUE STORIES OF CRIME and most
unfortunately, too, I am taking THE 10.12 EXPRESS to Brighton; however, I
shall be very pleased, you know, to go with you on Monday."
"Thank you, JACK, but I AM AFRAID that is quite impracticable, and I am
sorely disappointed: you certainly took more than a passive interest in
the recovery of THE EUSTACE DIAMONDS; now, it seems you never have the
time for anything; of course it is well known that THE BEAUTY, this
Gaiety star, always goes to BRIGHTON on Sunday, and I am told, by the
10.12 Express; I really do not understand your INFATUATION for this WILD
WINGS; but I dare say it's the WAY OF MAN, IN THE ARENA of course; it's
THE TREND of the times: however, MAJOR VIGOUREAUX will be only too
delighted to go with me, but I wanted you, you foolish boy, you are
certainly A CHANGED MAN, and I do hope you are not PLAYING WITH FIRE,
but...."
"Beg pardon, your Grace," interrupted Jameson, entering,
"Detective-Inspector Morgan is below, and desires particularly to see
your Grace."
"Let him come up, Jameson, and conduct the lady to the North lift."
"And, BY THE WAY, Evelyn, I'm opening the Eaton Square house and shall
have a surprise for you: here, don't forget THE VANITY BOX."
"Well, JACK, good-bye, I suppose I'm turned out, MARION'S VACATION,
begins next week, and I'm taking her to THE DOCTOR'S LITTLE GIRL,
ELIZABETH HOBART AT EXETER HALL."
"Inspector Morgan," announces Jameson.
"Sorry to trouble you, your Grace: the lady...."
"Now, look here, MY MAN, the lady is my cousin."
"EXCUSE ME, your Grace, I quite understand: no harm intended: I thought I
recognized the LITTLE LADY as one of the LIGHT FINGERED GENTRY; beg
pardon, I'm sure; I came particularly to ask your Grace's aid regarding
the so-called MYSTERIOUS MR. SABIN; we believe he was THE MAN INSIDE, THE
MYSTERY OF THE MIDDLE-TEMPLE, although fortunately for himself, he keeps
well WITHIN THE LAW; this slippery TENNESSEE SHAD was at lunch to-day
with Miss Celeste of the Gaiety--nothing wrong with your Grace, I
hope--great show on there; your Grace probably recalls the timely advice
you gave us regarding THE CARLTON CASE; well, SIR MORTIMER, my chief, had
HOPE that your Grace would again be able to advise us."
"I fear not, in this case, Morgan, in fact I don't want to stand in
ANOTHER MAN'S SHOES, THE MAN IN THE BASEMENT was really responsible for
that advice."
"Then I shall INTERVIEW, THE LODGER; WHAT'S HIS NAME, your Grace?"
"That is OUT OF THE QUESTION, Morgan; you are like the DOG in the hands
of the express company: you've eaten your TAG and don't know where you
are to go; too late; THE PEOPLE DOWNSTAIRS, I am told, left yesterday for
TROIS SEMAINES EN FRANCE, which means, of course, SOJOURNING, SHOPPING
AND STUDYING IN PARIS; and now you must go, as I have an appointment,
long overdue; take a cigar, Morgan, from THE BRASS BOWL, over there, and
IN AFTER YEARS, you will remember that particular brand, as it is pure
HEMP, and if you are going HOME, take that PURPLE FERN to your wife's
MOTHER, for a chance like this only comes ONCE TO EVERY MAN, and GOOD
NIGHT."