SOME, in their discourse, desire rather commendation of wit, in being
able to hold all arguments, than of judgment, in discerning what is
true; as if it were a praise, to know what might be said, and not, what
should be thought. Some have certain common places, and themes, wherein
they are good and want variety; which kind of poverty is for the most
part tedious, and when it is once perceived, ridiculous. The honorablest
part of talk, is to give the occasion; and again to moderate, and
pass to somewhat else; for then a man leads the dance. It is good, in
discourse and speech of conversation, to vary and intermingle speech
of the present occasion, with arguments, tales with reasons, asking of
questions, with telling of opinions, and jest with earnest: for it is a
dull thing to tire, and, as we say now, to jade, any thing too far. As
for jest, there be certain things, which ought to be privileged from
it; namely, religion, matters of state, great persons, any man's present
business of importance, and any case that deserveth pity. Yet there
be some, that think their wits have been asleep, except they dart out
somewhat that is piquant, and to the quick. That is a vein which would
be bridled:
Parce, puer, stimulis, et fortius utere loris.
And generally, men ought to find the difference, between saltness and
bitterness. Certainly, he that hath a satirical vein, as he maketh
others afraid of his wit, so he had need be afraid of others' memory.
He that questioneth much, shall learn much, and content much; but
especially, if he apply his questions to the skill of the persons whom
he asketh; for he shall give them occasion, to please themselves in
speaking, and himself shall continually gather knowledge. But let his
questions not be troublesome; for that is fit for a poser. And let him
be sure to leave other men, their turns to speak. Nay, if there be any,
that would reign and take up all the time, let him find means to take
them off, and to bring others on; as musicians use to do, with those
that dance too long galliards. If you dissemble, sometimes, your
knowledge of that you are thought to know, you shall be thought, another
time, to know that you know not. Speech of a man's self ought to be
seldom, and well chosen. I knew one, was wont to say in scorn, He must
needs be a wise man, he speaks so much of himself: and there is but one
case, wherein a man may commend himself with good grace; and that is
in commending virtue in another; especially if it be such a virtue,
whereunto himself pretendeth. Speech of touch towards others, should
be sparingly used; for discourse ought to be as a field, without coming
home to any man. I knew two noblemen, of the west part of England,
whereof the one was given to scoff, but kept ever royal cheer in his
house; the other would ask, of those that had been at the other's table,
Tell truly, was there never a flout or dry blow given? To which the
guest would answer, Such and such a thing passed. The lord would say, I
thought, he would mar a good dinner. Discretion of speech, is more than
eloquence; and to speak agreeably to him, with whom we deal, is more
than to speak in good words, or in good order. A good continued speech,
without a good speech of interlocution, shows slowness: and a good reply
or second speech, without a good settled speech, showeth shallowness
and weakness. As we see in beasts, that those that are weakest in the
course, are yet nimblest in the turn; as it is betwixt the greyhound and
the hare. To use too many circumstances, ere one come to the matter, is
wearisome; to use none at all, is blunt.