HE THAT hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they
are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have
proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection
and means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great reason
that those that have children, should have greatest care of future
times; unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges.
Some there are, who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts
do end with themselves, and account future times impertinences. Nay,
there are some other, that account wife and children, but as bills of
charges. Nay more, there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take
a pride, in having no children, because they may be thought so much the
richer. For perhaps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a great
rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge
of children; as if it were an abatement to his riches. But the most
ordinary cause of a single life, is liberty, especially in certain
self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are so sensible of every
restraint, as they will go near to think their girdles and garters, to
be bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters,
best servants; but not always best subjects; for they are light to run
away; and almost all fugitives, are of that condition. A single life
doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground,
where it must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and
magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a
servant, five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the generals
commonly in their hortatives, put men in mind of their wives and
children; and I think the despising of marriage amongst the Turks,
maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a
kind of discipline of humanity; and single men, though they may be many
times more charitable, because their means are less exhaust, yet, on
the other side, they are more cruel and hardhearted (good to make severe
inquisitors), because their tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave
natures, led by custom, and therefore constant, are commonly loving
husbands, as was said of Ulysses, vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati.
Chaste women are often proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit
of their chastity. It is one of the best bonds, both of chastity and
obedience, in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will
never do, if she find him jealous. Wives are young men's mistresses;
companions for middle age; and old men's nurses. So as a man may have a
quarrel to marry, when he will. But yet he was reputed one of the wise
men, that made answer to the question, when a man should marry,--A
young man not yet, an elder man not at all. It is often seen that bad
husbands, have very good wives; whether it be, that it raiseth the price
of their husband's kindness, when it comes; or that the wives take a
pride in their patience. But this never fails, if the bad husbands were
of their own choosing, against their friends' consent; for then they
will be sure to make good their own folly.