hundred thousand, and would have given a finger off his hand if I would
only have gone with him to his posada; nay, I even think that the tears
were almost starting from his eyes after he had leathered me."
"Not a doubt of it," replied Gananciosa; "and he would weep now to see
the state he has put you into: for men like him have scarcely committed
the fault before repentance begins. You will see, sister, if he does not
come here to look for you before we leave the place; and see if he does
not beg you to forgive what has passed, and behave to you as meek and as
humble as a lamb."
"By my faith," observed Monipodio, "the cowardly ruffian shall not enter
these doors until he has made full reparation for the offence he has
committed. How dare he lay a hand on poor Cariharta, who for cleanliness
and industry is a match for Gananciosa herself, and that is saying
everything."
"Alas! Señor Monipodio," replied Juliana, "please do not speak too
severely of the miserable fellow; for, hard as he is, I cannot but love
him as I do the very folds of my heart; and the words spoken in his
behalf by my friend Gananciosa have restored the soul to my body. Of a
truth, if I consulted only my own wishes, I should go this moment and
look for him."
"No, no," replied Gananciosa, "you shall not do so by my counsel; for to
do that would make him proud; he would think too much of himself, and
would make experiments upon you as on a dead body. Keep quiet, sister,
and in a short time you will see him here repentant, as I have said; and
if not, we will write verses on him that shall make him roar with rage."
"Let us write by all means," returned Juliana, "for I have a thousand
things to say to him."
"And I will be your secretary, if need be," rejoined Monipodio, "for
although I am no poet, yet a man has but to tuck up the sleeves of his
shirt, set well to work, and he may turn off a couple of thousand verses
in the snapping of a pair of scissors. Besides, if the rhymes should not
come so readily as one might wish, I have a friend close by, a barber,
who is a great poet, and will trim up the ends of the verses at an
hour's notice. At present, however, let us go finish our repast; all the
rest can be done afterwards."
Juliana was not unwilling to obey her superior, so they all fell to
again at the O-be-joyful with so much goodwill that they soon saw the
bottom of the basket and the dregs of the great leather bottle. The old
ones drank _sine fine_, the younger men to their hearts' content, and
the ladies till they could drink no more. When all was consumed, the two
old men begged permission to take their leave, which Monipodio allowed
them to do, but charged them to return punctually, for the purpose of
reporting all they should see or hear that could be useful to the
brotherhood; they assured him they would by no means fail in their duty,
and then departed.
After these gentlemen had left the company, Rinconete, who was of a very
inquiring disposition, begged leave to ask Monipodio in what way two
persons so old, grave, and formal as those he had just seen, could be of
service to their community. Monipodio replied, that such were called
"Hornets" in their jargon, and that their office was to poke about all
parts of the city, spying out such places as might be eligible for
attempts to be afterwards made in the night-time. "They watch people who
receive money from the bank or treasury," said he, "observe where they
go with it, and, if possible, the very place in which it is deposited.
When this is done, they make themselves acquainted with the thickness of
the walls, marking out the spot where we may most conveniently make our
_guzpataros_, which are the holes whereby we contrive to force an
entrance. In a word, these persons are among the most useful of the
brotherhood: and they receive a fifth of all that the community obtains
by their intervention, as his majesty does, on treasure trove. They are,
moreover, men of singular integrity and rectitude. They lead a
respectable life, and enjoy a good reputation, fearing God and regarding
the voice of their consciences, insomuch that not a day passes over
their heads in which they have not heard mass with extraordinary
devotion. There are, indeed, some of them so conscientious, that they
content themselves with even less than by our rules would be their due.
Those just gone are of this number. We have two others, whose trade it
is to remove furniture; and as they are daily employed in the conveyance
of articles for persons who are changing their abode, they know all the
ins and outs of every house in the city, and can tell exactly where we
may hope for profit and where not."
"That is all admirable," replied Rinconete, "and greatly do I desire to
be of some use to so noble a confraternity."
"Heaven is always ready to favour commendable desires," replied
Monipodio.
While the two were thus discoursing, a knock was heard at the door, and
Monipodio went to see who might be there. "Open, Sor[36]
Monipodio--open," said a voice without; "it is I, Repolido."
[36] _Sor_ the contraction of Señor.
Cariharta hearing this voice, began to lift up her own to heaven, and
cried out, "Don't open the door, Señor Monipodio; don't let in that
Tarpeian mariner--that tiger of Ocaña."[37]
[37] "Ocaña" is a city at no great distance from Madrid; and if the lady
has placed her tiger there, instead of in Hyrcania, as she doubtless
intended, it is of course because her emotions had troubled her memory.
The "Tarpeian mariner" is a fine phrase surely, but its meaning is not
very clear.
Monipodio opened the door, nevertheless, in despite of her cries; when
Cariharta, starting to her feet, hurried away, and hid herself in the
room where the bucklers were hung up. There, bolting the door, she
bawled from her refuge, "Drive out that black-visaged coward, that
murderer of innocents, that white-livered terror of house-lambs, who
durst not look a man in the face."
Repolido was meanwhile kept back by Maniferro and Chiquiznaque, as he
struggled with all his might to get into the room where Cariharta was
hidden. But when he saw that to be impossible, he called to her from
without, "Come, come, let us have done with this, my little sulky; by
your life, let us have peace, as you would wish to be married."
"Married!" retorted the lady, "married to you too! Don't you wish you
may get it? See what kind of a string he's playing on now. I would
rather be married to a dead notomy." "Oh, bother!" exclaimed Repolido;
"let us have done with this, for it is getting late; take care of being
too much puffed up at hearing me speak so gently, and seeing me so meek;
for, by the light of heaven, if my rage should get steeple-high, the
relapse will be worse than the first fit. Come down from your stilts,
let us all have done with our _tantrums_, and not give the devil a
dinner."
"I will give him a supper to boot, if he will take you from my sight to
some place where I may never set eyes on you more," exclaimed the gentle
Juliana from within.
"Haven't I told you once to beware, Madame Hemp-sack? By the powers, I
suspect I must serve out something to you by the dozen, though I make no
charge for it."
Here Monipodio interposed: "In my presence," he said, "there shall be no
violence. Cariharta will come out, not for your threats, but for my
sake, and all will go well. Quarrels between people who love each other
are but the cause of greater joy and pleasure when peace is once made.
Listen to me, Juliana, my daughter; listen to me, my Cariharta. Come out
to us, for the love of your friend Monipodio, and I will make Repolido
beg your pardon on his knees."
"Ah! if he will do that," exclaimed Escalanta, "we shall then be all on
his side, and will entreat Juliana to come out."
"If I am asked to beg pardon in a sense of submission that would
dishonour my person," replied Repolido, "an army of lansquenets would
not make me consent; but if it be merely in the way of doing pleasure to
Cariharta, I do not say merely that I would go on my knees, but I would
drive a nail into my forehead to do her service."
At these words Chiquiznaque and Maniferro began to laugh, and Repolido,
who thought they were making game of him, cried out in a transport of
rage, "Whoever shall laugh or think of laughing at anything whatsoever
that may pass between Cariharta and myself, I say that he lies, and that
he will have lied every time he shall laugh or think of laughing."
Hearing this, Chiquiznaque and Maniferro looked at each other and
scowled so sternly, that Monipodio saw things were likely to come to a
crisis unless he prevented it. Throwing himself, therefore, into the
midst of the group, he cried out, "No more of this, gentlemen! have done
with all big words; grind them up between your teeth; and since those
that have been said do not reach to the belt, let no one here apply them
to himself."
"We are very sure," replied Chiquiznaque, "that such admonitions neither
have been nor will be uttered for our benefit; otherwise, or if it
should be imagined that they were addressed to us, the tambourine is in
hands that would well know how to beat it."
"We also, Sor Chiquiznaque, have our drum of Biscay," retorted
Repolido, "and, in case of need, can make the bells as well as another.
I have already said, that whoever jests in our matters is a liar: and
whoever thinks otherwise, let him follow me; with a palm's length of my
sword I will show him that what is said is said." Having uttered these
words, Repolido turned towards the outer door, and proceeded to leave
the place.
Cariharta had meanwhile been listening to all this, and when she found
that Repolido was departing in anger, she rushed out, screaming, "Hold
him, hold him,--don't let him go, or he will be showing us some more of
his handiwork; can't you see that he is angry? and he is a Judas
Macarelo in the matter of bravery. Come here, Hector of the world and of
my eyes!" With these words, Cariharta threw herself upon the retiring
bravo, and held him with all her force by his cloak. Monipodio lent her
his aid, and between them they contrived to detain him.
Chiquiznaque and Maniferro, undetermined whether to resume the dispute
or not, stood waiting apart to see what Repolido would do, and the
latter perceiving himself to be in the hands of Monipodio and Cariharta,
exclaimed, "Friends should never annoy friends, nor make game of
friends, more especially when they see that friends are vexed."
"There is not a friend here," replied Maniferro, "who has any desire to
vex a friend; and since we are all friends, let us give each other the
hand like friends." "Your worships have all spoken like good friends,"
added Monipodio, "and as such friends should do; now finish by giving
each other your hands like true friends."
All obeyed instantly, whereupon Escalanta, whipping off her cork-soled
clog, began to play upon it as if it had been a tambourine. Gananciosa,
in her turn, caught up a broom, and, scratching the rushes with her
fingers, drew forth a sound which, if not soft or sweet, yet agreed very
well with the beating of the slipper. Monipodio then broke a plate, the
two fragments of which he rattled together in such fashion as to make a
very praiseworthy accompaniment to the slipper and the broom.
Rinconete and Cortadillo stood in much admiration of that new invention
of the broom, for up to that time they had seen nothing like it.
Maniferro perceived their amazement, and said to them, "The broom
awakens your admiration,--and well it may, since a more convenient kind
of instrument was never invented in this world, nor one more readily
formed, or less costly. Upon my life, I heard a student the other day
affirm, that neither the man who fetched his wife out of hell--Negrofeo,
Ogrofeo, or what was he called--nor that Marion who got upon a dolphin,
and came out of the sea like a man riding on a hired mule--nor even that
other great musician who built a city with a hundred gates and as many
posterns--never a one of them invented an instrument half so easy of
acquirement, so ready to the touch, so pleasing and simple as to its
frets, keys, and chords, and so far from troublesome in the tuning and
keeping in accord; and by all the saints, they swear that it was
invented by a gallant of this very city, a perfect Hector in matters of
music."
"I fully believe all you say," replied Rinconete, "but let us listen,
for our musicians are about to sing. Gananciosa is blowing her nose,
which is a certain sign that she means to sing."
And she was, in fact, preparing to do so. Monipodio had requested her to
give the company some of the Seguidillas most in vogue at the moment.
But the first to begin was Escalanta, who sang as follows, in a thin
squeaking voice:--
"For a boy of Sevilla,
Red as a Dutchman,
All my heart's in flame."
To which Gananciosa replied, taking up the measure as she best might--
"For the little brown lad,
With a good bright eye,
Who would not lose her name?"
Then Monipodio, making great haste to perform a symphony with his pieces
of platter, struck in--
"Two lovers dear, fall out and fight,
But soon, to make their peace, take leisure;
And all the greater was the row,
So much the greater is the pleasure."
But Cariharta had no mind to enjoy her recovered happiness in silence
and fingering another clog, she also entered the dance, joining her
voice to those of her friends, in the following words--
"Pause, angry lad! and do not beat me more,
For 'tis thine own dear flesh that thou dost baste,
If thou but well consider, and--"
"Fair and soft," exclaimed Repolido, at that moment, "give us no old
stories, there's no good in that. Let bygones be bygones! Choose another
gait, girl; we've had enough of that one."
The canticle, for a moment interrupted by these words, was about to
recommence, and would not, apparently, have soon come to an end, had not
the performers been disturbed by violent knocks at the door. Monipodio
hastened to see who was there, and found one of his sentinels, who
informed him that at the end of the street was the alcalde of criminal
justice, with the little Piebald and the Kestrel (two catchpolls, who
were called neutral, since they did the community of robbers neither
good nor harm), marching before him.
The joyous company within heard the report of their scout, and were in a
terrible fright. Escalanta and Cariharta put on their clogs in great
haste, Gananciosa threw down her broom, and Monipodio his broken plate,
every instrument sinking at once into silence. Chiquiznaque lost his
joyous grin, and stood dumb as a fish; Repolido trembled with fear, and
Maniferro looked pale with anxiety. But these various demonstrations
were exhibited only for a moment,--in the next, all that goodly
brotherhood had disappeared. Some rushed across a kind of terrace, and
gained another court; others clambered over the roof, and so passed into
a neighbouring alley. Never did the sound of a fowling piece, or a
sudden peal of thunder, more effectually disperse a flock of careless
pigeons, than did the news of the alcalde's arrival that select company
assembled in the house of the Señor Monipodio. Rinconete and Cortadillo,
not knowing whither to flee, stood in their places waiting to see what
would be the end of that sudden storm, which finished simply enough by
the return of the sentinel, who came to say that the alcalde had passed
through the whole length of the street without seeming to have any
troublesome suspicions respecting them, or even appearing to think of
their house at all.
While Monipodio was in the act of receiving this last report, there
came to the door a gentleman in the prime of youth, and dressed in the
half-rustic manner suitable to the morning, or to one residing in the
country. Monipodio caused this person to enter the house with himself;
he then sent to look for Chiquiznaque, Repolido, and Maniferro, with
orders that they should come forth from their hiding places, but that
such others as might be with them should remain where they were.
Rinconete and Cortadillo having remained in the court, could hear all
the conversation which took place between Monipodio and the gentleman
who had just arrived, and who began by inquiring how it happened that
the job he had ordered had been so badly done. At this point of the
colloquy, Chiquiznaque appeared, and Monipodio asked him if he had
accomplished the work with which he had been entrusted--namely, the
knife-slash of fourteen stitches.[38]
[38] "At that time," remarks Viardot, "while wounds were still sewed up
by the surgeons, the importance or extent of the cut made was estimated
by the number of the stitches."
"Which of them was it," inquired Chiquiznaque, "that of the merchant at
the Cross-ways?" "Exactly," replied the gentleman. "Then I'll tell you
how the matter went," responded the bravo. "Last night, as I watched
before the very door of his house, and the man appeared just before to
the ringing of the _Ave Maria_, I got near him, and took the measure of
his face with my eyes; but I perceived it was so small that it was
impossible, totally impossible, to find room in it for a cut of fourteen
stitches. So that, perceiving myself unable to fulfil my
destructions"--"Instructions you mean," said the gentleman;--"Well,
well, instructions if you will," admitted Chiquiznaque,--"seeing that I
could not find room for the number of stitches I had to make, because of
the narrowness, I say, and want of space in the visage of the merchant,
I gave the cut to a lacquey he had with him, to the end that I might not
have my journey for nothing; and certainly his allowance may pass for
one of the best quality."
"I would rather you had given the master a cut of seven stitches than
the servant one of fourteen," remarked the gentleman. "You have not
fulfilled the promise made me, but the thirty ducats which I gave you as
earnest money, will be no great loss." This said, he saluted the two
ruffians and turned to depart, but Monipodio detained him by the cloak
of mixed cloth which he wore on his shoulders, saying: "Be pleased to
stop, Señor cavalier, and fulfil your promise, since we have kept our
word with strict honour and to great advantage. Twenty ducats are still
wanting to our bargain, and your worship shall not go from this place
until you have paid them, or left us something of equal value in
pledge."
"Do you call this keeping your word," said the gentleman, "making a cut
on the servant when you should have made it on the master?"
"How well his worship understands the business," remarked Chiquiznaque.
"One can easily see that he does not remember the proverb which says:
'He who loves Beltran, loves his dog likewise.'"
"But what has this proverb to do with the matter?" inquired the
gentleman.
"Why, is it not the same thing as to say, 'He who loves Beltran ill,
loves his dog ill too?' Now the master is Beltran, whom you love ill,
and the servant is his dog; thus in giving the cut to the dog I have
given it to Beltran, and our part of the agreement is fulfilled; the
work has been properly done, and nothing remains but to pay for it on
the spot and without further delay."
"That is just what I am ready to swear to," cried Monipodio; "and you,
friend Chiquiznaque, have taken all that you have said from my mouth;
wherefore let not your worship, Señor gallant, be making difficulties
out of trifles with your friends and servants. Take my advice and pay us
what is our due. After that, if your worship would like to have another
cut given to the master, of as many stitches as the space can contain,
consider that they are already sewing up the wound."
"If it be so," said the gentleman, "I will very willingly pay the whole
sum."
"Make no more doubt of it than of my being a good Christian, for
Chiquiznaque will set the mark on his face so neatly, that he shall seem
to have been born with it."
"On this promise, then, and with this assurance," replied the gentleman,
"receive this chain in pledge for the twenty ducats before agreed on,
and for forty other ducats which I will give you for the cut that is to
come. The chain weighs a thousand reals, and it may chance to remain
with you altogether, as I have an idea that I shall want fourteen
stitches more before long."
Saying this, he took a chain from his neck, and put it into the hands of
Monipodio, who found immediately by the weight and touch that it was not
gold made by the chemist, but the true metal. He received it accordingly
with great pleasure and much courtesy, for Monipodio was particularly
well-bred. The execution of the work to be done for it was committed to
Chiquiznaque, who declared that it should be delayed no longer than till
the arrival of night. The gentleman then departed, well satisfied with
his bargain.
Monipodio now summoned the confraternity from the hiding places into
which their terror had driven them. When all had entered, he placed
himself in the midst of them, drew forth a memorandum book from the hood
of his cloak, and as he himself could not read, he handed it to
Rinconete, who opened it, and read as follows:--
"Memoranda of the cuts to be given this week.
"The first is to the merchant at the Cross-ways, and is worth fifty
crowns, thirty of which have been received on account. _Secutor_,[39]
Chiquiznaque.
[39] _Secutor_ for executor.
"I believe there are no others, my son," said Monipodio; "go on and look
for the place where it is written, 'Memoranda of blows with a cudgel.'"
Rinconete turned to that heading, and found under it this entry:--"To
the keeper of the pot-house called the Trefoil, twelve blows, to be laid
on in the best style, at a crown a-piece, eight of which crowns have
been received; time of execution, within six days. _Secutor_,
Maniferro."
"That article may be scratched out of the account," remarked Maniferro,
"for to-night I shall give the gentleman his due."
"Is there not another, my son?" asked Monipodio.
"There is," replied Rinconete, and he read as follows:--
"To the hunch-backed Tailor, called by the nick-name Silguero,[40] six
blows of the best sort for the lady whom he compelled to leave her
necklace in pledge with him. _Secutor_, the Desmochado." [41]
[40] The goldfinch.
[41] The lop-eared, or mutilated; alluding, generally, to losses
suffered at the hands of justice.
"I am surprised to find this article still on the account," observed
Monipodio, "seeing that two days have elapsed since it ought to have
been taken off the book; and yet the secutor has not done his work.
Desmochado must be indisposed."
"I met him yesterday," said Maniferro. "He is not ill himself, but the
Hunchback has been so, and being confined to the house on that account,
the Desmochado has been unable to encounter him."
"I make no doubt of it," rejoined Monipodio, "for I consider the
Desmochado to be so good a workman, that but for some such reasonable
impediment he would certainly before this have finished a job of much
greater importance. Is there any more, my boy?" "No, Señor," replied
Rinconete. "Turn over, then, till you find the 'Memorandum of
miscellaneous damages.'"
Rinconete found the page inscribed "Memorandum of miscellaneous
damages," namely, Radomagos,[42] greasing with oil of juniper, clapping
on sanbenitos[43] and horns, false alarms, threatened stabbings,
befoolings, _calomels_,[44] &c. &c.
[42] _Radomagos_, phials or bottles of ink, vitriol, and other injurious
matters, cast on the face, person, or clothes.
[43] Most of our readers will remember that the "sanbenito" is the long
coat or robe, painted over with flames, which is worn by heretics whom
the Inquisition has condemned and given over to the civil power.
[44] _Calomels_, for calumnies