aforesaid. Among our benefactors we count the Alguazil, who gives us
warning; the Advocate, who defends us; the Executioner, who takes pity
upon us when we have to be whipped, and the man who, when we are running
along the street, and the people in full cry after us bawling 'Stop
thief,' throws himself between us and our pursuers, and checks the
torrent, saying, 'Let the poor wretch alone, his lot is hard enough; let
him go, and his crime will be his punishment.' We also count among our
benefactors the good wenches who aid us by their labours while we are in
prison, or at the galleys; our fathers, and the mothers who brought us
into the world; and, finally, we take care to include the Clerk of the
Court, for if he befriend us, there is no crime which he will not find
means to reduce to a slight fault, and no fault which he does not
prevent from being punished. For all these our brotherhood causes the
_sanctimonies_ (ceremonies) I have named to be _solecised_ (solemnised)
every year, with all possible _grandiloquence_.
"Certainly," replied Rinconete (now confirmed in that name), "certainly
that is a good work, and entirely worthy of the lofty and profound
genius with which we have heard that you, Señor Monipodio, are endowed.
Our parents still enjoy life; but should they precede us to the tomb,
we will instantly give notice of that circumstance to this happy and
highly esteemed fraternity, to the end that you may have 'sanctimonies
solecised' for their souls, as your worship is pleased to say, with the
customary 'grandiloquence.'"
"And so shall it be done," returned Monipodio, "if there be but a piece
of me left alive to look to it."
He then called their conductor, saying, "Hallo! there, Ganchuelo![23] Is
the watch set?" "Yes," replied the boy; "three sentinels are on guard,
and there is no fear of a surprise." "Let us return to business, then,"
said Monipodio. "I would fain know from you, my sons, what you are able
to do, that I may assign you an employment in conformity with your
inclinations and accomplishments."
[23] _Ganchuelo_ is the diminutive of _gancho_, a crimp.
"I," replied Rinconete, "know a trick or two to gammon a bumpkin; I am
not a bad hand at hiding what a pal has prigged; I have a good eye for a
gudgeon; I play well at most games of cards, and have all the best turns
of the pasteboard at my finger ends; I have cut my eye teeth, and am
about as easy to lay hold of as a hedgehog; I can creep through a
cat-hole or down a chimney, as I would enter the door of my father's
house; and will muster a million of tricks better than I could marshal a
regiment of soldiers; and flabbergast the knowingest cove a deal sooner
than pay back a loan of two reals."
"These are certainly the rudiments," admitted Monipodio, "but all such
things are no better than old lavender flowers, so completely worn out
of all savour that there is not a novice who may not boast of being a
master in them. They are good for nothing but to catch simpletons who
are stupid enough to run their heads against the church steeple; but
time will do much for you, and we must talk further together. On the
foundation already laid you shall have half a dozen lessons; and I then
trust in God that you will turn out a famous craftsman, and even,
mayhap, a master."
"My abilities shall always be at your service, and that of the gentlemen
who are our comrades," replied Rinconete; and Monipodio then turned
towards Cortadillo.
"And you, Cortadillo, what may you be good for?" he inquired; to which
Cortadillo replied, "For my part I know the trick called 'put in two,
and take out five,' and I can dive to the bottom of a pocket with great
precision and dexterity." "Do you know nothing more?" continued
Monipodio. "Alas, no, for my sins, that is all I can do," admitted
Cortadillo, "Do not afflict yourself, nevertheless," said the master;
"you are arrived at a good port, where you will not be drowned, and you
enter a school in which you can hardly fail to learn all that is
requisite for your future welfare. And now as to courage: how do you
feel yourselves provided in that respect, my children?" "How should we
be provided," returned Rinconete, "but well and amply? We have courage
enough to attempt whatever may be demanded in our art and profession."
"But I would have you to possess a share of that sort which would enable
you to suffer as well as to dare," replied Monipodio, "which would carry
you, if need were, through a good half dozen of _ansias_ without opening
your lips, and without once saying 'This mouth is mine.'" "We already
know what the _ansias_ are, Señor Monipodio," replied Cortadillo, "and
are prepared for all; since we are not so ignorant but that we know very
well, that what the tongue says, the throat must pay for; and great is
the grace heaven bestows on the bold man (not to give him a different
name), in making his life or death depend upon the discretion of his
tongue, as though there were more letters in a No than an Aye."
"Halt there, my son; you need say no more," exclaimed Monipodio at this
point of the discourse. "The words you have just uttered suffice to
convince, oblige, persuade, and constrain me at once to admit you both
to full brotherhood, and dispense with your passing through the year of
novitiate."
"I also am of that opinion," said one of the gaily-dressed Bravos; and
this was the unanimous feeling of the whole assembly. They therefore
requested that Monipodio would immediately grant the new brethren the
enjoyment of all the immunities of their confraternity, seeing that
their good mien and judicious discourse proved them to be entirely
deserving of that distinction.
Monipodio replied, that, to satisfy the wishes of all, he at once
conferred on those new-comers all the privileges desired, but he
exhorted the recipients to remember that they were to hold the favour in
high esteem, since it was a very great one: consisting in the exemption
from payment of the _media anata_, or tax levied on the first theft they
should commit, and rendering them free of all the inferior occupations
of their office for the entire year. They were not obliged, that is to
say, to bear messages to a brother of higher grade, whether in prison or
at his own residence. They were permitted to drink their wine without
water, and to make a feast when and where they pleased, without first
demanding permission of their principal. They were, furthermore, to
enter at once on a full share of whatever was brought in by the superior
brethren, as one of themselves--with many other privileges, which the
new comers accepted as most signal favours, and on the possession of
which they were felicitated by all present, in the most polite and
complimentary terms.
While these pleasing ceremonies were in course of being exchanged, a boy
ran in, panting for breath, and cried out, "The Alguazil of the
vagabonds is coming direct to the house, but he has none of the
Marshalsea men with him."
"Let no one disturb himself," said Monipodio. "This is a friend; never
does he come here for our injury. Calm your anxiety, and I will go out
to speak with him." At these words all resumed their self-possession,
for they had been considerably alarmed; and Monipodio went forth to the
door of his house, where he found the Alguazil, with whom he remained
some minutes in conversation, and then returned to the company. "Who was
on guard to-day," he asked, "in the market of San Salvador?" "I was,"
replied the conductor of our two friends, the estimable Ganchuelo.
"You!" replied Monipodio. "How then does it happen that you have not
given notice of an amber-coloured purse which has gone astray there this
morning, and has carried with it fifteen crowns in gold, two double
reals, and I know not how many quartos?"
"It is true," replied Ganchuelo, "that this purse has disappeared, but
it was not I took it, nor can I imagine who has done so." "Let there be
no tricks with me," exclaimed Monipodio; "the purse must be found, since
the Alguazil demands it, and he is a friend who finds means to do us a
thousand services in the course of the year." The youth again swore
that he knew nothing about it, while Monipodio's choler began to rise,
and in a moment flames seemed to dart from his eyes. "Let none of you
dare," he shouted, "to venture on infringing the most important rule of
our order, for he who does so shall pay for it with his life. Let the
purse be found, and if any one has been concealing it to avoid paying
the dues, let him now give it up. I will make good to him all that he
would have been entitled to, and out of my own pocket too; for, come
what may, the Alguazil must not be suffered to depart without
satisfaction." But Ganchuelo could do no more than repeat, with all
manner of oaths and imprecations, that he had neither taken the purse,
nor ever set eyes on it.
All this did but lay fuel on the flame of Monipodio's anger, and the
entire assembly partook of his emotions; the honourable members
perceiving that their statutes were violated, and their wise ordinances
infringed. Seeing, therefore, that the confusion and alarm had now got
to such a height, Rinconete began to think it time to allay it, and to
calm the anger of his superior, who was bursting with rage. He took
counsel for a moment with Cortadillo, and receiving his assent, drew
forth the purse of the Sacristan, saying:--
"Let all questions cease, gentlemen: here is the purse, from which
nothing is missing that the Alguazil has described, since my comrade
Cortadillo prigged it this very day, with a pocket-handkerchief into the
bargain, which he borrowed from the same owner." Thereupon Cortadillo
produced the handkerchief before the assembled company.
Seeing this, Monipodio exclaimed "Cortadillo the Good! for by that title
and surname shall you henceforward be distinguished. Keep the
handkerchief, and I take it upon myself to pay you duly for this
service; as to the purse, the Alguazil must carry it away just as it is,
for it belongs to a Sacristan who happens to be his relation, and we
must make good in his case the proverb, which says, 'To him who gives
thee the entire bird, thou canst well afford a drumstick of the same.'
This good Alguazil can save us from more mischief in one day than we can
do him good in a hundred."
All the brotherhood with one voice approved the spirit and gentlemanly
proceeding of the two new comers, as well as the judgment and decision
of their superior, who went out to restore the purse to the Alguazil.
As to Cortadillo, he was confirmed in his title of the _Good_, much as
if the matter had concerned a Don Alonzo Perez de Guzman, surnamed the
Good, who from the walls of Tarifa threw down to his enemy the dagger
that was to destroy the life of his only son.[24]
[24] Our readers will perceive that this relates to the atrocity
committed by the Infant Don Juan of Castille, who, while in revolt
against his brother, Sancho IV., appeared before the city of Tarifa with
an army, chiefly composed of Mahometans; finding the infant son of the
governor, Don Alonzo Perez de Guzman, at nurse in a neighbouring
village, he took the child, and bearing him to the foot of the walls,
called on Guzman to surrender the place on pain of seeing his infant
slaughtered before his eyes in case of refusal. The only reply
vouchsafed by Don Alonzo was the horrible one alluded to in the text. He
detached his own dagger from its belt, and threw it to Don Juan, when
the sanguinary monster, far from respecting the fidelity of his
opponent, seized the weapon, and pierced the babe to the heart as he had
threatened to do This anecdote is related, with certain variations, in
Conde, "La Dominacion de los Arabes en Espana."--See English
Translation, vol. iii.
When Monipodio returned to the assembly he was accompanied by two girls,
with rouged faces, lips reddened with carmine, and necks plastered with
white. They wore short camlet cloaks, and exhibited airs of the utmost
freedom and boldness. At the first glance Rinconete and Cortadillo could
see what was the profession of these women. They had no sooner entered,
than they hurried with open arms, the one to Chiquiznaque, the other to
Maniferro; these were the two bravos, one of whom bore the latter name
because he had an iron hand, in place of one of his own, which had been
cut off by the hand of justice. These two men embraced the girls with
great glee, and inquired if they had brought the wherewithal to moisten
their throats. "How could we think of neglecting that, old blade!"
replied one of the girls, who was called Gananciosa.[25] "Silvatillo,
your scout, will be here before long with the clothes-basket, crammed
with whatever good luck has sent us."
[25] The winner.
And true it was; for an instant afterwards, a boy entered with a
clothes-basket covered with a sheet.
The whole company renewed their rejoicings on the arrival of Silvatillo,
and Monipodio instantly ordered that one of the mats should be brought
from the neighbouring chamber, and laid out in the centre of the court.
Furthermore he commanded that all the brotherhood should take places
around it, in order that while they were taking the wrinkles out of
their stomachs, they might talk about business.
To this proposal the old woman, who had been kneeling before the image,
replied, "Monipodio, my son, I am not in the humour to keep festival
this morning, for during the last two days I have had a giddiness and
pain in my head, that go near to make me mad; I must, besides, be at our
Lady of the Waters before mid-day strikes, having to accomplish my
devotions and offer my candles there, as well as at the crucifix of St.
Augustin; for I would not fail to do either, even though it were to snow
all day and blow a hurricane. What I came here for is to tell you, that
last night the Renegade and Centipede brought to my house a basket
somewhat larger than that now before us; it was as full as it could hold
of fine linen, and, on my life and soul, it was still wet and covered
with soap, just as they had taken it from under the nose of the
washerwoman, so that the poor fellows were perspiring and breathless
beneath its weight. It would have melted your heart to see them as they
came in, with the water streaming from their faces, and they as red as a
couple of cherubs. They told me, besides, that they were in pursuit of a
cattle-dealer, who had just had some sheep weighed at the
slaughter-house, and they were then hastening off to see if they could
not contrive to grab a great cat[26] which the dealer carried with him.
They could not, therefore, spare time to count the linen, or take it out
of the basket but they relied on the rectitude of my conscience; and so
may God grant my honest desires, and preserve us all from the power of
justice, as these fingers have refrained from touching the basket, which
is as full as the day it was born."
[26] A large purse made of cat-skin.
"We cannot doubt it, good mother," replied Monipodio. "Let the basket
remain where it is; I will come at nightfall to fetch it away, and will
then ascertain the quantity and quality of its contents, giving to every
one the portion, due to him, faithfully and truly, as it is my habit to
do."
"Let it be as you shall command," rejoined the old woman; "and now, as
it is getting late, give me something to drink, if you have it
there--something that will comfort this miserable stomach, which is
almost famishing for want."
"That you shall have, and enough of it, mother," exclaimed Escalanta,
the companion of Gananciosa; and, uncovering the basket, she displayed a
great leather bottle, containing at least two arrobas[27] of wine, with
a cup made of cork, in which you might comfortably carry off an
azumbre,[28] or honest half-gallon of the same. This Escalanta now
filled, and placed it in the hands of the devout old woman, who took it
in both her own, and, having blown away a little froth from the surface,
she said,--
[27] The _arroba_ holds about thirty-two pints.
[28] The _azumbre_ is two quarts.
"You have poured out a large quantity, Escalanta, my daughter; but God
will give me strength." Whereupon, without once taking breath, and at
one draught, she poured the whole from the cup down her throat. "It is
real Guadalcanal,"[29] said the old woman, when she had taken breath;
"and yet it has just a tiny smack of the gypsum. God comfort you, my
daughter, as you have comforted me; I am only afraid that the wine may
do me some mischief, seeing that I have not yet broken my fast."
[29] A favourite wine, grown on the shore of the Manzanares.
"No, mother; it will do nothing of the kind," returned Monipodio, "for
it is three years old at the least."
"May the Virgin grant that I find it so," replied the old woman. Then
turning to the girls, "See, children," she said "whether you have not a
few maravedis to buy the candles for my offerings of devotion. I came
away in so much haste, to bring the news of the basket of linen, that I
forgot my purse, and left it at home."
"Yes, Dame Pipota,"--such was the name of the old woman,--"I have some,"
replied Gananciosa; "here are two cuartos for you, and with one of them
I beg you to buy a candle for me, which you will offer in my name to the
Señor St. Michael, or if you can get two with the money, you may place
the other at the altar of the Señor St. Blas, for those two are my
patron-saints. I also wish to give one to the Señora Santa Lucia, for
whom I have a great devotion, on account of the eyes;[30] but I have no
more change to-day, so it must be put off till another time, when I
will square accounts with all."
[30] The Virgin Martyr, Santa Lucia, had her eyes burnt out of her head,
and is regarded, in the Catholic Church, as particularly powerful in the
cure of all diseases of the eyes. She is usually represented as bearing
her eyes on a salver, which she holds in her hand.
"And you will do well, daughter," replied the old woman. "Don't be
niggard, mind. It is a good thing to carry one's own candles before one
dies, and not to wait until they are offered by the heirs and executors
of our testament."
"You speak excellently, Mother Pipota," said Escalanta; and, putting her
hand into her pocket, she drew forth a cuarto, which she gave the old
woman, requesting her to buy two candles for her likewise, and offer
them to such saints as she considered the most useful and the most
likely to be grateful. With this old Pipota departed, saying,
"Enjoy yourselves, my dears, now while you have time, for old age will
come and you will then weep for the moments you may have lost in your
youth, as I do now. Commend me to God in your prayers, and I will
remember you, as well as myself, in mine, that he may keep us all, and
preserve us in this dangerous trade of ours from all the terrors of
justice." These words concluded, the old woman went her way.
Dame Pipota having disappeared, all seated themselves round the mat,
which Gananciosa covered with the sheet in place of a table-cloth. The
first thing she drew from the basket was an immense bunch of radishes;
this was followed by a couple of dozens or more of oranges and lemons;
then came a great earthen pan filled with slices of fried ling, half a
Dutch cheese, a bottle of excellent olives, a plate of shrimps, and a
large dish of craw-fish, with their appropriate sauce of capers, drowned
in pepper-vinegar: three loaves of the whitest bread from Gandul
completed the collation. The number of guests at this breakfast was
fourteen, and not one of them failed to produce his yellow-handled
knife, Rinconete alone excepted, who drew his dudgeon dagger instead.
The two old men in serge gowns, and the lad who had been the guide of
the two friends, were charged with the office of cupbearers, pouring the
wine from the bottle into the cork cup.
But scarcely had the guests taken their places, before they were all
startled, and sprang up in haste at the, sound of repeated knocks at the
door. Bidding them remain quiet, Monipodio went into one of the lower
rooms, unhooked a buckler, took his sword in his hand, and, going to the
door, inquired, in a rough and threatening voice, "Who is there?"
"All right Señor! it is I, Tagarote,[31] on sentry this morning,"
replied a voice from without. "I come to tell you that Juliana de
Cariharta[32] is coming, with her hair all about her face, and crying
her eyes out, as though some great misfortune had happened to her."
[31] The quill-driver.
[32] Fat-face, puff-cheeks, or any other term describing fulness of
face, in the least complimentary manner.
He had scarcely spoken when the girl he had named came sobbing to the
door, which Monipodio opened for her, commanding Tagarote to return to
his post; and ordering him, moreover, to make less noise and uproar when
he should next bring notice of what was going forward,--a command to
which the boy promised attention.
Cariharta, a girl of the same class and profession with those already in
presence, had meanwhile entered the court, her hair streaming in the
wind, her eyes swollen with tears, and her face covered with contusions
and bruises. She had no sooner got into the Patio, than she fell to the
ground in a fainting fit. Gananciosa and Escalanta[33] sprang to her
assistance, unfastened her dress, and found her breast and shoulders
blackened and covered with marks of violence. After they had thrown
water on her face, she soon came to herself, crying out as she did so,
"The justice of God and the king on that shameless thief, that cowardly
cut-purse, and dirty scoundrel, whom I have saved from the gibbet more
times than he has hairs in his beard. Alas! unhappy creature that I am!
see for what I have squandered my youth, and spent the flower of my
days! For an unnatural, worthless, and incorrigible villain!"
[33] The clamberer.
"Recover yourself, and be calm, Cariharta," said Monipodio; "I am here
to render justice to you and to all. Tell me your cause of complaint,
and you shall be longer in relating the story than I will be in taking
vengeance. Let me know if anything has happened between you and your
_respeto_;[34] and if you desire to be well and duly avenged. You have
but to open your mouth."
[34] Protector, or more exactly "bully,"--to defend and uphold in acts
of fraud and violence.
"Protector!" exclaimed the girl. "What kind of a protector is he? It
were better for me to be protected in hell than to remain any longer
with that lion among sheep, and sheep among men! Will I ever eat again
with him at the same table, or live under the same roof? Rather would I
give this flesh of mine, which he has put into the state you shall see,
to be devoured alive by raging beasts." So saying, she pulled up her
petticoats to her knees, and even a little higher, and showed the wheals
with which she was covered. "That's the way," she cried, "that I have
been treated by that ungrateful Repolido,[35] who owes more to me than
to the mother that bore him.
[35] Dandy.
"And why do you suppose he has done this? Do you think I have given him
any cause?--no, truly. His only reason for serving me so was, that being
at play and losing his money, he sent Cabrillas, his scout, to me for
thirty reals, and I could only send him twenty-four. May the pains and
troubles with which I earned them be counted to me by heaven in
remission of my sins! But in return for this civility and kindness,
fancying that I had kept back part of what he chose to think I had got,
the blackguard lured me out to the fields this morning, beyond the
king's garden, and there, having stripped me among the olive trees, he
took off his belt, not even removing the iron buckle--oh that I may see
him clapped in irons and chains!--and with that he gave me such an
unmerciful flogging, that he left me for dead; and that's a true story,
as the marks you see bear witness."
Here Cariharta once more set up her pipes and craved for justice, which
was again promised to her by Monipodio and all the bravos present.
The Gananciosa then tried her hand at consoling the victim; saying to
her, among other things--"I would freely give my best gown that my fancy
man had done as much by me; for I would have you know, sister Cariharta,
if you don't know it yet, that he who loves best thrashes best; and when
these scoundrels whack us and kick us, it is then they most devoutly
adore us. Tell me now, on our life, after having beaten and abused you,
did not Repolido make much of you, and give you more than one caress?"