————
The supreme Lord of the universe has, in his wisdom, rendered
the various conditions of mankind necessary to our individual
happiness:—some are rich, others poor—some are masters, and others
servants.—Subordination, indeed, attaches to your rank in life, but
not _disgrace_. All men are servants in different degrees. The nobles
and ministers of state are subservient to the king, and the king
himself is the servant of the nation, and is wisely submissive to its
laws. It manifests a divine superintendance, that civil society should
thus be composed of _subordinate_ and superior classes. By this wise
arrangement, all _may_ enjoy an equal share of real happiness, while
each possesses a due opportunity to communicate and to receive the
various benefits and kindnesses of human life. Every wise and good
person will therefore enquire, what are the _special_ duties of his
or her station; with a steady purpose, by the assistance of God, to
discharge them faithfully; and those are the most worthy characters who
best perform the various duties incumbent on them, _in that state of
life unto which it has pleased God to call them_. Perhaps, there is not
a more _useful_,—a more numerous,—nor a more indispensably necessary
description of persons in society, than those who are denominated
_Servants_; and so entirely dependent are mankind on each other, that
it may truly be said of _these_, in relation of the _social system_,
as Pope has said of the several parts of nature in relation to the
_universe_; that
“—from this chain whatever link you strike,
Tenth or ten-thousandth, breaks the chain alike.”
Young persons, on their first entering into service, should endeavour
to divest themselves of former habits, and devote themselves to the
controul of those whom they engage to serve. They will probably find
every thing different from what they have been accustomed to at home,
or in common life; and as their mode of living will be greatly altered,
if not wholly changed, so must be their minds and manners. They should
endeavour to discard every low habit and way of thinking, if such they
have; and as there will be set before them, by those of superior rank,
and cultivated understandings, the best modes of conduct and the most
approved behaviour, they will wisely take advantage of the opportunity
which Providence fortunately presents to them, to cultivate their
_minds_ and improve their _principles_: perhaps, the best proof they
can give of their wisdom, in this respect, is to resolve to conform
with alacrity to the duties required of them, so far as is consistent
with justice and moral government; to be respectful and faithful
to their superiors, obliging and good-natured to their equals, and
charitable to all; as the most grateful return they can make for the
emolument, superior comforts, and gratification they will enjoy. They
will eagerly embrace every opportunity of learning every thing that
may be useful to themselves, and of doing any thing that may be useful
to others. Young persons are too apt to fancy themselves wise, but
that, generally speaking, is impossible, for wisdom is the result of
experience and reflection; and youth must of course be almost as much
strangers to one as to the other.[1] But the instruction we are about
to give, is not intended merely for the _young_ and uninitiated;—but
will be found, we trust, of great advantage to those of _riper years_,
and of some experience; as we are never too old to learn, and can only
approach towards perfection by regular gradations, and, as it were,
step by step:—to those of greater experience our labours may serve as a
_Remembrancer_.
The grand foundation of your good character must be _Industry_,
_fidelity_ to your employers, and an inviolable attachment to _truth_,
both in words and deeds. To utter a _falsehood_ to the prejudice of
others, argues malice and baseness—to _lie_ in excuse of one’s self,
guilt and cowardice;—in both cases it evinces a design to deceive,
with a view to benefit one’s self by the deceit;—besides, a liar is
always in fear of being detected, and if once found out, he sinks into
contempt, and is deservedly divested of all credit—all confidence—and
all society.
But truth in speech must be accompanied by integrity and fidelity in
all your dealings; for it is impossible for a dishonest person to be
a good servant; therefore, let no temptation prevail on you to part
with these inestimable jewels; nor suffer yourself even to wish to
convert the property of another to your own use; more especially when
it is _confided_ to your charge; for breach of trust is a heinous
aggravation of dishonesty.[2] And, always remember, that “_Honesty is
the best policy_.” Moreover, it is not only incumbent on you to be
honest yourself, but you must scorn to connive at the dishonesty of
others. _He that winks at an injury he might prevent shares in it_; and
it is as scandalous to fear blame or reproach for doing your duty, as
it is to deserve reproof for the neglect of it; therefore, should there
be a confederacy among your fellow servants to abuse the confidence or
credulity of your employer, divulge it the very instant you perceive
it, for fear your very silence might give rise to a suspicion of your
participation in their guilt.
On the contrary, avoid _Tale-bearing_, for that is a vice of a
pernicious nature, and generally turns out to the disadvantage of
those who practise it. Those who cannot help telling _all_ that they
hear, will be supposed to tell _more_ than they _know_, and will,
consequently, be discredited.
Carefully avoid all reproachful, indecent, or even familiar terms
in speaking of your master, mistress, or superiors; and, on the
other hand, endeavour, at all times, to vindicate them from the open
aspersions or latent insinuations of others. There is nothing more
detestable than defamation.—Avoid it.
“The man who filches from me my good name,
Robs me of that which not enriches him,
But makes me poor indeed!” SHAKSPEARE.
To know—to be thoroughly master of your business in the department
you undertake, is indispensably necessary; and not only to know the
several branches of your duty, both by theory and practice, but to be
determined, from principle, to do it. In order to this, let your whole
conduct be actuated by _diligence_, and governed by _temperance_.
Banish _sloth_ and the love of ease; and, as poor Richard says,
“_up, and be doing_.”—Be ever active.—Let your whole mind be in your
business.—Think of what you have to do—of what must be done, and _do
it_,—even before it is wanted,—and do not wait till you are ordered to
do it. Never think any part of your business _too trifling_ to be _well
done_. Consider your business as a pleasurable amusement and you will
make it so—and,—“do not leave till to-morrow, that which may be done
to-day.”
_Idleness_ is a great source of evil, and whilst we give way to its
enjoyment, we sacrifice both the duties and the best purposes of our
existence.
“Delays are dangerous;—take a friend’s advice,
Begin,—be bold, and venture to be wise:—
He who defers his work from day to day,
Does on a river’s bank expecting stay,
Till the whole stream that stopt him shall be gone,
Which, as it runs, for ever will run on.”
But, it is not enough merely to avoid sloth, for you must be guarded
against the allurements of pleasure—_Pleasure_, when it becomes a
business, but too frequently makes business a torment; and as it
is impossible to attend to your duty and follow your pleasures,
the inevitable consequence must be loss of place, disgrace, and
poverty.—Not that you are to debar yourself from innocent amusement,
_at proper times_, and with moderation; it is not, nor can it be
expected of you, who are to get your bread by the sweat of your brow,
that you are not to reap the harvest of your labours; neither the
laws of God nor man exact this of you; but unlawful and intemperate
pleasures are interdicted, as alike detrimental to your employers,—your
morals,—your character,—your health,—and your purse.
_Intemperance_, or excess, is a pleasurable evil,—it smiles and
seduces—enchants and destroys. It assumes a variety of shapes, all
tending to flatter the appetite and inflame desires;—it presents to
each the allurement to which he is most prone, and to all a pleasing
poison that impairs the body, enervates the mind, and imperceptibly
destroys all the energies necessary to our happiness and advancement in
life.
Above all things, then—Be temperate.—Avoid excess in eating and
drinking—“One expensive mouth, will wear out several pairs of
hands,”—and, “one shilling will appease the wants of nature as
effectually as a pound.” Nor is it because you may for a time be able
to indulge those vicious habits at the expense of others, that they are
the less exceptionable.
The loss of health and the loss of character are the certain
consequences; and the debauch of the evening is followed by pains
and sickness in the morning, when that which was before poison, is
administered as the cure! Practice becomes habitual, and thus a whole
life is frequently wasted in debauchery; poverty itself only cutting
off the means, not the inclination; and the unhappy object himself,
destitute of health, character, and friends, is left to pine and sink
in misery and contempt.
Intemperance in _dress_ is another evil that ought to be carefully
guarded against. In most men this argues both weakness and effeminacy;
but in _men-servants_ an affectation of this kind is unpardonable—and
in _females_ it opens a door to temptation and extravagance, which but
too frequently ends in ruin.
The virtue of _Silence_ is highly commendable, and will contribute
greatly to your ease and prosperity. Those who talk much cannot always
talk well; and many much oftener incur censure than praise. The best
proof of wisdom is to talk little, but to hear much—Remember, “_A
silent tongue argues a wise head_.” Never talk of yourself,—but when
others speak of themselves, listen to them;—such attention will please
them, and probably profit yourself, as it is a chance but something
escapes them that may afford a clue to their whole character. If it
be thus dangerous to speak much of one’s self, it is much more so
to take _freedoms_ with others. A jest may tickle, but if it hurt
any one, resentment may follow, that in some way or other may be
injurious.—Always remember to _hold the secrets of the family sacred_,
as none, not even the least of _these_, may be divulged with impunity.
Quarrels are much more easily avoided than made up; let it not,
therefore, be in the power of trifles to ruffle your temper. A
weathercock is the sport of every wind; and a choleric man is sometimes
exposed to the scorn, at others to the resentment, and always to the
abhorrence of all around him. For these reasons rather wink at all
small injuries than study to avenge them—“He that to destroy a single
bee that has offended him, should throw down the hive, instead of one
enemy will have made a thousand.”
It is abundantly better to study the good will of all, than to excite
the resentment of any. Make a trial, therefore, of your _affability_,
and you will find your own happiness and the goodwill of all around
you, to be the certain result.
We would further recommend to you to practise _frugality_; it is a
virtue which is intimately connected with, and leads to our best
prospects in life; and if it be expedient to any, it is more especially
so to such as you, who have, like the silk-worm, to spin your riches
out of your own bosoms. It gives you credit with others, confidence in
yourself, and enables you to look forward with satisfaction.—In short,
it renders even the independent man _doubly independent_. Nothing is
more true, than the old proverb, that, “_a penny saved is a penny
got_;”—nor is that saying less true, that “_if you have sense to save
your pence, your pounds will take care of themselves_.” If out of every
shilling you get you save something, you will soon find yourself in the
direct road to wealth.—Remember, that the most magnificent edifice is
raised from a single stone, and every accession thereto, however small,
helps to raise the superstructure.
Whilst on the important subject of frugality, we cannot do better than
to recommend to your notice THE SAVINGS BANK.
These most useful and excellent establishments are to be found in
every district, and offer, to provident and well-disposed servants, a
means of depositing small sums, in perfect safety, for the purpose of
accumulating with interest, to be resorted to in case of illness,—any
unforeseen occurrence,—or for the purpose of establishing themselves in
some way of business that may make them comfortable to the end of their
days. Indeed, the advantages of savings-banks are become so well known,
that almost every one can appreciate the result of _small savings_ and
prudent foresight. It is an axiom universally admitted, that he who
rests his expectations more on his own care and diligence, than on the
aid of others, will escape many wants and disappointments, and enjoy
many gratifications, which those who are not possessed of this happy
spirit of prudence and independence, can never hope to attain; and we
may add, that the sufferings of those in poverty and distress have been
but too frequently increased, by the recollection that they might have
been averted or decreased by proper attention.
The encouragement which these depositories hold out to young persons
for the safe deposit of _trifling_ sums, (even so low as a shilling,)
is not unfrequently attended with the salutary effect of inducing a
perseverance in saving, and of stimulating to habits of industry and
frugality that lead to the happiest results. Those who adopt this plan,
soon begin to feel their independence; and this feeling once acquired,
the most pleasing consequences inevitably follow; for he who labours
for his daily bread, and has _learnt to live within his income_, has
learnt the _art of independence_; and he that is _above want_, though
_but a little_, looks upon every fellow subject for his equal: indeed,
so advantageous is an early habit in the art of _saving_, that no
patrimony can be equal to it, and it will generally be found, that he
who is sagacious enough to save a fortune, will enjoy it infinitely
better than he who inherits it by patrimony, or has one given to him.
Every savings-bank has its appointed days and hours for transacting
business, at which times, a committee of trustees and managers attend
to pay and receive monies. Among other advantages which these banks
give, they admit of the deposits and interest being taken out at a very
short notice, at any time, by the depositers themselves, or by his
or her executors, administrators, or other lawful claimants. Printed
particulars of the specific terms and regulations, may be had _gratis_,
at the respective offices.
The following is a sketch of the way in which _money is made by
saving_, according to the terms of many savings-banks, established in
and near the metropolis; and there are some (the Southwark, Limehouse,
and others,) that give interest at the rate of a halfpenny per calendar
month for every twelve shillings deposited, which is upwards of four
per cent. per annum.
+--+------------------------------------+---------+--------+---------+
|Y | | | | |
|e | | | | |
|a | | SAVINGS |INTEREST| TOTAL |
|r | | | | |
|s | | | | |
| | +---------+--------+---------+
| 1| Suppose, that in the course of this| £ |s.|d.|£ |s.|d.| £ |s.|d.|
| |year, you deposit in the Savings | | | | | | | | | |
| |Bank, the sum of | 4| 0| 0| | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| |In the last day of next year, the | | | | | | | | | |
| |Savings Bank will add as interest | | | | | | | | | |
| |on that deposit, at least, | | | | | | | | | |
| |the sum of | | | | 0| 3| 0| | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| |And suppose that in the same year, | | | | | | | | | |
| |you deposit the further sum of | 4| 0| 0| | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| 2|Your Stock at the end of the 2nd | | | | | | | | | |
| |year, will be, at least |.. |..|..|..|..|..| 8| 3| 0|
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| 3|On the course of the third year, | | | | | | | | | |
| |add | 4| 0| 0| 0| 6| 6| 12| 9| 6|
| 4| 4th year | 4| 0| 0| 0|10| 0| 16|19| 6|
| 5| 5th year | 4| 0| 0| 0|13| 6| 21|13| 0|
| 6| 6th year | 4| 0| 0| 1|17| 6| 26|10| 6|
| 7| 7th year | 4| 0| 0| 0| 1| 0| 31|11| 6|
| 8| 8th year | 4| 0| 0| 1| 5| 0| 36|16| 6|
| 9| 9th year | 4| 0| 0| 1| 9| 6| 42| 6| 0|
|10| 10th year | 4| 0| 0| 1|14| 0| 48| 0| 0|
|11| 11th year | 4| 0| 0| 1|18| 6| 53|18| 6|
|12| 12th year | 4| 0| 0| 2| 3| 0| 60| 1| 6|
|13| 13th year | 4| 0| 0| 2| 8| 0| 66| 9| 6|
|14| 14th year | 4| 0| 0| 2|13| 0| 73| 2| 6|
|15| 15th year | 4| 0| 0| 2|18| 6| 80| 1| 0|
|16| 16th year | 4| 0| 0| 3| 4| 0| 87| 5| 0|
|17| 17th year | 4| 0| 0| 3|10| 0| 94|15| 0|
|18| 18th year | 4| 0| 0| 3|16| 0|102|11| 0|
|19| 19th year | 4| 0| 0| 4| 2| 0|110|13| 0|
|20| 20th year | 4| 0| 0| 4| 8| 6|119| 1| 6|
| | |---|--|--|--|--|--| | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | |
| | Principal deposited £ | 80| 0| 0|39| 1| 6| | | |
| | Interest added £ | 39| 1| 6| | | | | | |
| | |---|--|--| | | | | | |
| |Total made by saving in 20 years £ |119| 1| 6| | | | | | |
+--+------------------------------------+---+--+--+--+--+--+---+--+--+
Again, let us admonish you, as at first, to _be Industrious_. “Teach
a man to be industrious and you will soon make him rich.” And, “money
got by Industry, is heaven’s gift.” Frugality and temperance, are
virtues to be practised chiefly on _your own account_, but _Industry_
is an indispensable duty that you owe to your employers and to society.
“Without frugality few would be rich, and with it few would be poor.”
The man who promises himself success without endeavours, or despairs
at the sight of difficulties, is always disappointed; but, on the
contrary, he that is determined, and is indefatigable, succeeds even
beyond his expectation. Depend upon it, there is not a more certain
sign of a cowardly spirit than to have the edge of one’s activity
soon blunted by opposition: on the other hand, there is no disputing
the fortitude of him who boldly contends with obstacles, and pursues
his object till he has attained it. To men of such temper few things
are impossible. It was an ingenious device that a man made use of, by
way of sign:—A pair of compasses, with this motto, _By constancy and
labour_; one foot being _fixed_ and the other in _motion_.—Make this
_your motto_, and you will be very little in the power of chance or
fortune.
What we have already said, may be considered as addressed chiefly to
_men_ servants; we have therefore to add a few admonitory precepts,
particularly appropriated to our _female_ readers.
One of the most advantageous qualifications in all servants, and
particularly in females, is that of preserving a _good temper_, and
endeavouring, to the utmost of their abilities, to give satisfaction.
Possessed of a strong desire to please, you will seldom fail of doing
so. Persons of a good disposition will be charmed with your readiness,
and those of a bad one, will be disarmed of a great part of their
harshness; and though you may, in some instances, be deficient in
the due performance of your business, if it be apparent that your
fault proceeds not from disobedience, indolence, or obstinacy, great
allowance will be made, and you will rather be _instructed as to the
future_ than _blamed_ for the past. If you are fearful of offending
you will scarcely ever offend. In short, _humility_ is a commendable
virtue, and, combined with good temper, is the most valuable of female
qualifications, and will, infallibly, conduct its possessors with ease
and tranquillity through life.
_Cleanliness_ is another qualification incumbent on every female
servant, and particularly in _Cooks_, and those employed in the
department of the kitchen. These should be very careful to keep
themselves,—every place,—and all the utensils used in cooking,
perfectly clean and neat.
We have already remarked, that those who are fond of telling all that
they hear, are very naturally suspected of telling more than they hear.
The best rule is, to do your own duty conscientiously, and leave others
to take care of theirs: by this means you will preserve peace and
acquire the love of all your fellow servants, without offending your
employers; who, even though they may appear to give countenance to your
tale, will not in their hearts approve of your conduct.
Take great care how you contract _new Acquaintances_, for to be easily
drawn into a familiarity with strangers must be attended with ill
consequences to yourselves, and those with whom you live. Never accept
the invitations of other servants, nor go to feast at the expense of
their masters and mistresses; as you must, in that case, be deemed
an interloper, at least;—besides, it lays you under an obligation to
return the treat, and induces you, after their example, to make free
with the property of your own employers, under a consciousness of
guilt, and a continual fear of detection.
Give nothing away without the knowledge and approbation of your
employers, nor commit wilful waste, for that is a crime which seldom
goes unpunished.
All duties are reciprocal. If you hope to obtain favour, endeavour to
deserve it. A steady perseverance in the duties of your station is the
only sure course infallibly to promote your progress to independence.
In addition to the foregoing, we should deem ourselves guilty of the
sin of omission, were we not to insert the very excellent _moral
hints to female servants_, written by the Rev. H. G. Watkins, in
furtherance of the views of the LONDON SOCIETY, for the improvement and
encouragement of female servants.
[_We have great pleasure in mentioning this society, the object of
which is, to promote the moral and religious improvement of female
servants._
The society bestows _annual rewards_, on those who are _duly
nominated_, to encourage them to view their employers as their friends,
to be correct and trust-worthy in their conduct, and to continue as
long as possible in the same service.
To prevent, also, the hazard to good servants of resorting to
_common_ Register Offices, a Registry is instituted, to which—cooks,
house-maids, and nurses, wanting situations, who have lived two years
in one service—servants of all work who have lived one year in their
last place—and young women _above sixteen_, who have never been in
service—may apply, without any expense whatever.
Plans of the institution, and rules of the registry, may be had gratis,
at the society’s house, No. 110, Hatton Garden, where attendance is
given on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays only, from ten o’clock to
four.]
Though much of this address is applicable to servants of both _sexes_,
yet, it is for the assistance of _domestic female servants_, that such
plain advice is here offered, as, it is hoped, may be found useful in
the direction of their conduct, and for the promotion of their comfort.
As many servants cannot enjoy the daily counsel of their _parents_, we
endeavor to supply their place, by entering into _more particulars_, in
the way of caution and advice, than we otherwise should have thought it
right to do.
When young persons _first enter upon service_, they should be thankful
to God if they have obtained a situation where they may be _instructed_
in those domestic duties which are to be the business of their lives.
They ought also to be very thankful, and very submissive, to those
who will take the trouble to teach them. Such cannot shew their
gratitude in a better way than by continuing, as long as possible, in
their _first_ service. Endeavour, during this season, to remember, by
thinking often upon, every direction you receive. This will prevent
the trouble and vexation of often repeating to you the same thing—a
circumstance which frequently makes even good mistresses fretful, and
occasions many changes of places and servants.—Habituate yourself, as
much as possible, to _every_ kind of domestic service; it will make
you to be more generally useful, and less likely to be long unengaged.
Here may be hinted, the great importance to your character, of lodging,
when out of place, with only _respectable_ persons. Avoid sauntering in
the street, especially in the evening, and ask your way, not from those
who are passing, but at a shop.
Make it your daily study and concern in all things to _maintain
an unblemished character_. You may then always hope to find a new
situation, if you need one, through the medium of your last mistress,
or your own _friends_; for _very_ good employers, or _very_ good
servants, seldom need apply to _common_ Register Offices. It is a fact
well ascertained, that many females, totally unconscious of their
danger, have been hired from such offices, _as servants_, by keepers of
infamous houses, for no other actual purpose than that of seduction, or
prostitution! Many decent looking, but wicked _women_, are employed,
even in the streets, to find out, and strongly recommend, young girls
to places as servants. By this horrible deceit, many artless females
are unawares drawn into disgrace, disease, and hasty death!
In your application at any time for a _new service_, express yourself
with frankness and sincerity on every point of enquiry—Avoid the error
of requiring too high wages—many good situations have been lost through
it. Do not undertake a service to which you are not competent. It is no
disgrace not to know every thing; but it is dishonest to say you can do
things which are beyond your capacity.
It is really important to your good here and hereafter, to stipulate
for attending _public worship_ once at least on every _Sabbath-day_. A
_good_ mistress, who wishes to keep a good servant, will afford _other_
and better opportunities for seeing your friends. _Sunday pleasures_,
in which there is generally a sad mixture of company, put a young woman
in the highway of danger—and of ruin!
In _commencing_ a new service, determine to do your duty in it; and
avoid every thing that you found was displeasing in your former place.
Judge of your employers from your _own_ observation, and _their_
behaviour to _you_, and not from any idle reports you may hear to their
prejudice. Should you find yourself in a reputable situation, but yet
are _uncomfortable_, through the unkind or unfeeling tempers of your
superiors, double your own diligence and _civility_, and avoid every
thing, as much as possible, that might, however unwarrantably, excite
their suspicion. By this you may improve their temper and conduct
towards yourself; and the very vexation they _have_ occasioned, may
dispose them to make their domestics more comfortable, and themselves
more happy.
Endeavour to serve with such _good will_, readiness of mind, and
attention to the _lawful_ interest and convenience of your employers,
as to render your services almost _necessary_ to them; that they may
know and feel that they are blessed, above many of their neighbours, in
having gotten a _good servant_, one who serves, not with eye-service as
a man-pleaser, but in simplicity of heart as a Christian. You will be
sure to gain esteem by _cheerfully_ doing any lawful necessary service;
though it were not agreed for when you were hired.
Whatever qualifications you may possess, if you are not _scrupulously_
HONEST, you will soon be detected—considered as worthless—and dismissed
your service. No civility or diligence can be a recompence for
dishonesty. The more you are entrusted, the more careful you should
be to maintain the confidence reposed in you. Avoid all _lotteries_,
gaming, and _secret_ modes of spending money. Take care that you are
not deceived by the name of _privileges and perquisites_, beyond what
_was agreed_ upon.
A WASTE of household necessaries, and the breaking of articles through
_carelessness_, are a sort of robbery of your employer—raise bad
passions—and mostly deprive a servant of many extra encouragements that
she would otherwise receive. These things are therefore to be strictly
guarded against. There should be painted over every kitchen fire-place,
“WANT NOT—WASTE NOT.”
Every employer has a right to establish _rules_ for his household;
therefore, do nothing in your master’s house, or with your mistress’s
business, that you feel obliged to conceal, _to keep your situation_;
for then, you may depend upon it, whatever it be, it is wrong in
itself, and will bring you to harm.
Industry is necessary for ALL, that they may lead a useful life;
but it is especially needful to those who engage to _serve_ others.
Idleness hath clothed many with rags. Your wages are the yearly pay
for your honesty, and your time; therefore lying late in bed, or being
over long on errands, or making frivolous excuses to be from home,
have occasioned many suspicions—deprived many of good places, and
eventually of good characters. “_He that is slothful in his work is
brother to him that is a great waster._” Exercise due diligence as to
what are the particular duties of your station. Make it your study to
put it out of the power of a _reasonable_ mistress to find fault.
DRESS _as becomes your station_, if you desire to please your
employers,—to avoid personal harm, and to diminish the number and power
of _your_ temptations. The happiness of society arises from each of us
keeping in our station, and being contented with it. Among other ways
of shewing your wisdom, _dressing clean and neat_, is of the greatest
importance. By this means, you may save a little money to assist your
relations, or yourself when unemployed, or in time of need.[3]
MILDNESS _of behaviour_ will help you through many difficulties. If
your temper be hasty, your duty and interest are to govern and subdue
it. Our comfort requires us to be patient with other people, and very
watchful over our _own tempers_. “Do all things without murmuring or
disputing. A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up
strife.” Mere _hastiness_ of temper and of _tongue_, or the neglect to
_consider_ consequences, has crowded the gaols with malefactors,—the
streets with prostitutes,—and the workhouses with poor.
Young Persons, Female Servants, and others of a similar rank in
life, we more especially address ourselves to you! You think with
horror of murder, and of prostitution; but you perhaps little
reflect, that idleness and self-will,—that the love of dress, and
of indulgence,—that petty acts of dishonesty,—that misbehaviour in
a place—that refusing to submit to reproof,—that _rashly throwing
yourselves out of a situation in a regular family_,—that wasting
your money, and thus leaving yourselves unprovided for when out of
employment,—that breaking the Sabbath, and particularly rambling about
in idle company on the evenings of the Sabbath-day—you perhaps little
reflect that these, or any of these evil practices, or habits, may lead
you, and that by no very long or winding path, to the atrocious crimes
which I have mentioned. Act therefore on consideration and reason, and
not by passion. You know not how you may irritate, and what mischief
may follow. Many a servant has lost a comfortable home, and a mistress
a useful assistant, by suffering passion to run headlong into imprudent
expressions. _You_ are more interested in retaining a good service,
than your employer in retaining _you_; for _she_ will continue to find
suitable servants, while you may be depriving yourself, for a long
time, of bread!
A female servant should never make _friendships_ with, or take the
advice of, milk people, butchers’ or bakers’ servants, keepers of
chandlers’ shops, green-stalls, charwomen, &c.; for mostly they
seek only their own interest and profit in every thing. If any proposal
that is new, or unexpectedly profitable, force itself on your notice,
do not act on your own opinion, nor hastily, but, confidentially,
consult your mistress, or some relation, else you may be as hastily
ensnared to your utter undoing.
For want of the confidence and esteem I allude to, there seems to be,
in most families, two _separate interests_—that of the employers,
and that of the servants.—Some servants communicate none of their
_personal_ affairs to their mistresses, and therefore mistresses are
not incited to take any special interest in _their_ future welfare.
Hence, although such parties may live a considerable time together,
they are almost strangers, and nothing like _friendship_ can take
place. This is a great loss to a _servant_. If you expect to have
confidence placed in _you_, be sincere in all your expressions, and
open, explicit, and communicative in all your dealings.
In regard of your _fellow-servants_—conduct yourselves with great
_caution_ towards those whose habits are immoral and irreligious—with
_studied_ discretion and _modesty_ towards fellow-servants of the
other sex, and with a constant good example before them all. This
will _oblige_ them to respect you, and speak well of you: but _place
yourself_ under obligation to none of them. Do nothing that you would
wish _them_ to keep secret for _your_ sake. Whatever demands secrecy,
you may be sure it is wrong for you to do, or suffer to be done. If
you connive with fellow-servants, or low tradesmen, at any thing
fraudulent, _you are defrauding_ a master or mistress, whose property
you are bound to watch and protect; and you incur the guilt and shame
of the fraud, though you may not participate in the gain.
As far as you can, give good advice to your fellow-servants, especially
younger ones—read the Bible to those who cannot, and, if you have time,
teach them to read it for themselves, and pray with them, and for
them. This conduct will promote good will, and may preserve the young
and unwary from evil.[4]
Servants in _other_ families ought not to be told the peculiar
habits and conduct of your own employers, except it be done to their
commendation; for it may create disrespect, and _can_ do no good.
In all cases, one way to escape harm is to be _diligent_ and _useful_.
Let others see that you are _virtuous_ from principle, and wish to set
a good example, and you will not be assailed by the temptations of the
designing and wicked, as vain and trifling girls render themselves
liable to be.
Be very careful of your _reputation_ for virtue and discretion in
regard of the other sex; for it is the foundation of your happiness
in this world; and the loss of it will bring you to misery. Avoid
as much as possible going out in the _evening_, especially on
frivolous errands. Be cautious as to whom you give your company.
“Evil communications corrupt good manners.” Never go to _fairs_,
_dances_, nor to the theatres. Ask yourself, before you engage in any
_pleasuring_ scheme—what may be the probable end of it?
On all unnecessary occasions, avoid as much as possible being alone
with the other sex: as the greatest mischiefs happen from small
circumstances. Who that is wise would risk the loss of her virtue and
happiness on mere _promises_, made by men of worthless character, and
which are made only to be broken? Never trust entirely to your own
fortitude—it can only be tried by opportunity; and if, in this case,
it fail but _once_, you are undone! The best resolve you can form is,
never to give opportunity to the tempter. A reserved modesty is the
best safeguard of virtue.
If a virtuous affection seems to be rising, be sure you instantly
calculate on the age and temper, religious conduct, and probable
ability of the man to maintain a family, before you suffer your mind to
be carried away, lest your affections run headlong, and at length are
taken advantage of, to the complete loss of your comfort.
_Servants_, as well as others, are under peculiar obligation, to
manifest a MEEK and QUIET SPIRIT—to follow, in their practice, Him who
said, “I am meek and lowly in heart.” They will, therefore, submit to
a few inconveniences, if, by so doing, they may be useful to their
fellow-servants, by shewing a Christian spirit, and will consider
daily, that _self-denial_, when our station may require it, is the
_duty_ of all.
Our Saviour has thus commanded us:—“_Whatsoever ye would that men
should do to you, do ye even so to them._” This is a summary of the law
and the prophets as to our conduct. It is a general rule, applicable in
a thousand cases to persons in every situation. On its due observance
by all the people of a house, each toward the other, depends the
measure of comfort which may be attained in the present state. The
_Rule_ is so _reasonable_, so _just_, and so _useful_, that the neglect
of it shews the sad state of our fallen nature. Put yourself, for a
moment, in the place of your master, mistress, or fellow-servants; and
then judge what _you_ might fairly and justly expect from the servants
in the same house. Were _you_ a mistress, you would expect all those
duties to be discharged by _your_ servants, which we recommend, and
consequently, the MISTRESS, whom you actually serve, justly expects
these things from _you_. Where this mode of thinking and acting is
adopted, it prevents many disputes—maintains peace in the house—or soon
restores it, if, on some uncomfortable occasion, it happens to have
been lost. None of us are without some failings. The best of people are
very far from being, at all times, so good as they should be, therefore
_good_ servants and _good_ employers will endeavour to put the best
construction they can on each others conduct; and judge of each other
rather by the _general behaviour_, than by any particular action.
_Obedience_ is the grand duty which includes almost every other, in the
relation between masters and mistresses, and servants. _Disobedience_
to lawful commands in a servant is dishonesty. Act therefore with
submission to the will and judgment of your superiors. If they require
things to be done, that are contrary to the laws of God or man, you
may with meekness decline them. If they _constantly_ require the
performance of what is beyond the _reasonable_ limit of your strength,
your ability, or your time, shew your _obedience_ and _respect_, by
explaining your reasons, when you signify your intention to leave.
Whatever personal inconvenience you may feel, do not slander your
employers, either abroad or at home, respecting it, but apply to
_them_ for its removal. Always be contented and cheerful in your
service, or respectfully retire from it. It is very unworthy to behave
improperly, or to watch an opportunity to give warning, merely because
you hope to gain _higher wages_ in the next place. Rather respectfully
ask for advance, and if you are a good servant, and your wish is not
unreasonable, it will be granted. Never suffer yourself to leave a
family, without leaving your best wishes for the welfare of those whom
you have served.
It is a more serious thing to _leave_ a good situation than many
are aware of. You may never obtain such another place, all things
considered; and may be long unsettled. “A rolling stone gathers no
moss.” A servant that is not stationary seldom obtains _friends_
that are able and willing to assist her. You now know _all_ the
inconveniences that attend your present situation, but you cannot know
whether _much greater_ may not be found in the next you obtain. Most
situations have their advantages and disadvantages. Calculate, as far
as you can, upon both, as they are found in the place where you _now_
are. Higher wages for another service is no proof that it would be a
_better_ one, all things considered.
Nothing is so comfortable and _creditable_ to all parties, as when a
servant lives _many years_ in the same family. Such servants never want
a _real_ friend. Though you _may_ perhaps obtain a new service by a
three months’ character, you will be respected if you have lived three
years in your situation, but still more, if you have lived seven.
The great master principle of all faithful service is an earnest
desire and endeavor to act according to the WILL OF GOD. The reason
why _servants_ as well as others, are so defective and partial in the
discharge of their duties, and therefore are so often uncomfortable
and distressed, is, that they are not influenced as they ought to be,
by this principle. Those, who think of their need of God’s help, and
love him with their hearts, and minds, and strength, _he_ will love
and honor. “I love them that love me,” saith the Almighty. “They that
honor _me_, I will honor; and those who despise me, shall be lightly
esteemed.”
————
The celebrated Dean Swift, of facetious memory, who was a man of great
genius and talent, and had an extensive knowledge of the world, in his
_burlesque_ Advice to Servants, by holding up their faults and vices
as _laudable examples_ for imitation, teaches them, in one continued
vein of sarcastic irony, what _they ought not to do_;—we therefore
transcribe a considerable portion thereof, by way of _negative_
advice.—_Good servants will applaud this artifice, and bad ones will
feel its force._
“When your master or lady calls a servant by name, if the servant be
not in the way, none of you are to answer, for then there will be no
end of your drudgery: and masters themselves allow, that if a servant
comes when he is called, it is sufficient.
“When you have done a fault, be always pert and insolent, and behave
yourself as if you were the injured person; this will immediately put
your master or lady off their mettle.
“If you see your master wronged by any of your fellow-servants, be
sure to _conceal_ it, for fear of being called a tell-tale: however,
there is one exception in case of a favourite servant, who is justly
hated by the whole family; and you are bound in prudence to lay all
the faults you can upon the favourite.
“The cook, the butler, the groom, the market-man, and every other
servant who is concerned in the expenses of the family, should act as
if his master’s _whole estate_ ought to be applied to that servant’s
particular business. For instance, if the cook computes his master’s
estate to be a thousand pounds a year, she reasonably concludes that
a thousand pounds a year will afford _meat_ enough, and therefore,
he need not be sparing; the butler makes the same judgment, so may
the groom and the coachman; and thus every branch of expense will be
filled to your master’s _honour_.
“When you are chid before company, it often happens that some
stranger will have the good-nature to drop a word in your excuse;—in
such a case you will have a good title to justify yourself, and may
rightly conclude, that, whenever he chides you afterwards, on other
occasions, he may be in the wrong; in which opinion you will be the
better confirmed by stating the case to your fellow-servants in your
own way, who will certainly decide in your favour;—therefore, as I
have said before, whenever you are chidden, complain as if you were
injured.
“It often happens, that servants sent on messages are apt to stay
out somewhat longer than the message requires, perhaps two, four,
six, or eight hours, or some such trifle; for the temptation to be
sure was great, and flesh and blood cannot always resist: when you
return, the master storms, the lady scolds; stripping, cudgelling,
and turning off, is the word. But here you ought to be provided with
a set of excuses, enough to serve on all occasions: for instance,
your uncle came fourscore miles to town this morning on purpose to
see you, and goes back by break of day to-morrow:—a brother servant
that borrowed money of you when he was out of place, was _running to
Ireland_:—you were taking leave of an old fellow-servant, who was
shipping for _Barbadoes_:—your father sent a cow to you to sell, and
you could not get a chapman for her till nine at night:—you wrenched
your foot against a stone, and were forced to stay three hours in a
shop, before you could stir a step:—a bailiff, by mistake, seized you
for a debtor, and kept you the whole evening in a spunging house, &c.
&c.
“Take all tradesmen’s parts against your master; and when you are
sent to buy anything, never offer to cheapen it, but generously pay
the full demand. This is highly to your master’s _honour_; and may
be some shillings in your pocket; and you are to consider, if your
master has paid too much, he can better afford the loss than a poor
tradesman.
“Never submit to stir a finger in any business, but that for which
you were particularly hired. For example, if the groom be drunk, or
absent, and the butler be ordered to shut the stable-door, the answer
is ready, An’t please your honour, I don’t understand _horses_. If
a corner of the hangings wants a single nail to fasten it, and the
footman be directed to tack it up, he may say, he doth not understand
that sort of work, but his honour may send for the upholsterer.
“Masters and ladies are usually quarrelling with the servants for
not shutting the doors after them: for neither masters nor ladies
consider, that those doors must be open before they can be shut, and
the labour is double to open and shut them; therefore the best, the
shortest, and the easiest way is to do _neither_. But if you are so
often teazed to shut the door, that you cannot easily forget; then
give the door such a clap as you go out, as will shake the whole
room, and make every thing rattle in it, to put your master and lady
in mind that you observe their directions.
“If you find yourself to grow in favour with your master or lady,
take some opportunity in a very mild way to give them warning; and
when they ask the reason, and seem loth to part with you, answer
that you would rather live with them than any body else, but a poor
servant is not to be blamed if he strives to better himself;—that
service is no inheritance,—that your work is great, and your wages
very small. Upon which, if your master hath any generosity, he will
add five or ten shillings a quarter rather than let you go: but if
you are baulked, and have no mind to go off, get some fellow-servant
to tell your master, that he hath prevailed upon you to stay.
“Whatever _tid bits_ you can _pilfer_ in the day, save them to
juncket with your fellow-servants at night, and take in the _butler_,
provided he will give you _drink_.
“Write your own name, and your sweet-heart’s, with the smoke of a
candle, on the ceiling of the kitchen, or the servants’-hall, to shew
your learning.
“If you are a young sightly fellow, whenever you whisper your young
mistress at tea-table, run your nose full in her cheek; or, if your
breath be good, breath full in her face; this I have known to have
had very good consequences in some families.
“Never come till you have been called three or four times, for none
but _dogs_ will come at the first whistle: and when the master calls,
_Who’s there?_ no servant is bound to come; for _Who’s there_ is
nobody’s name.
“When you have broken all your earthen drinking-vessels below stairs
(which is usually done in a week), the copper pot will do as well;
it can boil milk, heat porridge, hold small beer, or, in case of
necessity, serve other purposes; therefore apply it indifferently to
all these uses; but never wash or scour it, for fear of taking off
the tin.
“Let it be a constant rule, that no chair, stool, or table, in the
servants’-hall, or the kitchen, shall have above three legs, which
hath been the ancient and constant practice in all the families I
ever knew, and is said to be founded upon two reasons; first, to shew
that servants are ever in a _tottering_ condition; secondly, it was
thought a point of _humility_, that the servants’ chairs and tables
should have at least one leg fewer than those of their masters. I
grant there hath been an exception to this rule with regard to the
cook, who by old custom was allowed an easy chair to _sleep_ in
after dinner; and yet I have seldom seen them with above three legs.
Now this epidemical lameness of servants’ chairs is by philosophers
imputed to two causes, which are observed to make the greatest
revolutions in states and empires; I mean, _love and war_. A stool, a
chair, or a table, is the first weapon taken up in a general romping
or skirmish; and after a peace, the chairs are apt to suffer in the
conduct of _an amour_, the cook being usually fat and heavy, and the
butler a little in drink.
“When you stop to tattle with some crony servant, in the same street,
leave your own street-door _open_, that you may get in without
knocking when you come back; otherwise your mistress may know you are
gone out, and you may be chidden.
“I do most earnestly exhort you all to unanimity and concord: but
mistake me not: you may quarrel with each other as much as you
please; only always bear in mind, that you have a _common enemy_,
which is your master and lady, and you have a common cause to
defend. Believe an old practitioner; whoever, out of malice to a
fellow-servant, carries a tale to his master, will be ruined by a
general confederacy against him.
“The general place for rendezvous for all the servants, both in
winter and summer, is the kitchen: there the grand affairs of the
family ought to be consulted; whether they concern the stable,
the dairy, the pantry, the laundry, the cellar, the nursery, the
dining-room, or my lady’s chamber: there, as in your own proper
element, you can laugh, and squall, and romp in full security.
“When any servant comes home drunk, and cannot appear, you must all
join in telling your master, that he is gone to bed very sick; upon
which your lady will be so good-natured as to order some comfortable
thing for the poor man, or maid.
“When your master and lady go abroad together, to dinner, or on a
visit for the evening, you need leave _only one_ servant in the
house, or even one black-guard boy to answer at the door, and
attend the children, if there be any. Who is to stay at home is to
be determined by long and short cuts; and the stayer at home may be
comforted by a visit from a sweet-heart, without danger of being
caught together. These opportunities must _never_ be missed, because
they come but seldom, and all is safe enough while there is a servant
in the house.
“When your master or lady comes home, and wants a servant who happens
to be abroad, your answer must be, that he had but just that minute
stept out, being sent for by a cousin who was dying.
“If your master calls you by name, and you happen to answer at the
fourth call, you need not hurry yourself; and if you be chidden for
staying, you may lawfully say, you came no sooner, because you did
not know _what_ you were called for.
“When you are chidden for a fault, as you go out of the room, and
down stairs, _mutter_ loud enough to be plainly heard; this will make
him believe you are innocent.
“Whoever comes to visit your master or lady when they are abroad,
_never_ burthen your memory with the person’s name; for, indeed, you
have too many other things to remember. Besides, it is a porter’s
business, and your master’s fault he does not keep one; and who can
remember names? and you will certainly mistake them; as you can
neither write nor read.
“If it be possible, never tell a lie to your master or lady, _unless_
you have some hopes that they cannot find it out in less than half
an hour. When a servant is turned off, all his faults must be told,
although most of them were never known by his master or lady; and all
mischiefs done by others, charged to him. [Instance them.] And when
they ask any of you, why you never acquainted them before? the answer
is, Sir, or Madam, really I was afraid it would make you angry; and
besides, perhaps, you might think it was malice in me. Where there
are little masters and misses in a house, they are usually great
impediments to the diversions of the servants; the only remedy is to
bribe them with _goody goodies_, that they may not tell tales to papa
and mamma.
“I advise you of the servants, whose master lives in the country, and
who expect vales, always to stand rank and file when a stranger is
taking his leave, so that he must of necessity pass between you; and
he must have more confidence or less money than usual if any of you
let him _escape_; and according as he behaves himself, remember to
treat him the _next time_ he comes.
“If you are sent with ready money to buy any thing at a shop and
happen at that time to be out of cash, _sink the money_, and take
up the goods on your master’s account. This is for the _honour_ of
your master and yourself; for he becomes a man of credit at your
recommendation.
“When your lady sends for you up to her chamber to give you any
orders, be sure to stand at the door, and keep it open, fiddling with
the lock all the while she is talking to you; and keep the handle in
your hand, for fear you should forget to shut the door after you.
“If your master or lady happen once in their lives to accuse you
wrongfully, you are a _happy_ servant; for you have nothing more
to do, than, for _every_ fault you commit while you are in their
service, to put them in mind of that false accusation, and protest
yourself equally innocent in the present case.
“When you have a mind to leave your master, and are too bashful to
break the matter for fear of offending him, the best way is to grow
rude and saucy of a sudden, and beyond your usual behaviour, till
he finds it necessary to turn you off; and when you are gone, to
_revenge_ yourself, give him and his lady _such_ a character to all
your brother-servants who are out of place, that _none_ will venture
to offer their service.
“Some nice ladies, who are afraid of catching cold, having observed
that the maids and fellows below stairs often forget to shut the
doors after them, as they come in, or go out into the back yards,
have contrived that a pulley and a rope, with a large piece of lead
at the end, should be so fixt, as to make the door shut of itself,
and require a strong hand to open it, which is an immense toil to
servants, whose business may force them to go in and out fifty times
in a morning: but _ingenuity_ can do much, for prudent servants have
found out an effectual remedy against this insupportable grievance,
by _tying up_ the pulley in such a manner, that the weight of lead
shall have no effect; however, as to my own part, I would rather
chuse to keep the door _always open_, by laying a heavy stone at the
bottom of it.
“The servants’ candlesticks are generally broken, for nothing
can last for ever. But you may find out many expedients; you may
conveniently stick your candle in a bottle, or with a lump of butter
against the wainscot, in a powder-horn, or in an old shoe, or in a
cleft stick, or in the barrel of a pistol, or upon its own grease on
a table, in a coffee-cup, or a drinking-glass, a horn-can, a tea-pot,
a twisted napkin, a mustard-pot, an ink-horn, a marrow-bone, a piece
of dough, or you may cut a hole in the loaf, and stick it there.
“When you invite the neighbouring servants to junket with you at
home in an evening, teach them a peculiar way of tapping or scraping
at the kitchen-window, which you may hear, but not your master or
lady, whom you must take care not to disturb or frighten at such
unseasonable hours.
“Lay all faults upon a lap-dog, or favourite cat, a monkey, parrot,
a child; or on the servant who was last turned off: by this rule you
will excuse yourself, do no hurt to any body else, and save your
master or lady from the trouble and vexation of chiding.
“When you want proper instruments for any work you are about, use
all expedients you can invent, rather than leave your work undone.
For instance, if the poker be out of the way, or broken, stir the
fire with the tongs; if the tongs be not at hand, use the muzzle of
the _bellows_, the wrong end of the fire-shovel, the handle of the
fire-brush, the end of a mop, or your master’s cane. If you want
paper to singe a fowl, _tear_ the first book you see about the house.
Wipe your shoes, for want of a clout, with the bottom of a curtain,
or a damask napkin. Strip off your livery lace for garters. If the
butler wants a jordan, he may use the great silver cup.
“There are several ways of putting out candles, and you ought to
be instructed in them all: you may run the candle-end against the
wainscot, which puts the snuff out immediately: you may lay it on
the ground, and tread the snuff out with your foot: you may hold it
upside down, until it is choaked with its own grease; or cram it
into the socket of the candlestick: you may whirl it round in your
hand till it goes out: you may spit on your finger and thumb, and
pinch the snuff till it goes out. The cook may run the candle’s nose
into the meal-tub, or the groom into a vessel of oats, or a lock of
hay, or a heap of litter: the house-maid may put her candle out by
running it against a looking-glass, which nothing cleans so well as
candle-snuff: but the quickest and best of all methods is, to blow it
out with your breath, which leaves the candle clear, and readier to
be lighted.
“There is nothing so pernicious in a family as a tell-tale, against
whom it must be the principal business of you _all_ to unite:
whatever office he serves in, take all opportunities to spoil the
business he is about, and to cross him in every thing. For instance,
if the butler be a tell-tale, break his glasses whenever he leaves
the pantry door open; or lock the cat or the mastiff in it, who will
do as well: mislay a fork or a spoon, so as he may never find it. If
it be the cook, whenever she turns her back, throw a lump of soot or
a handful of salt in the pot, or smoking coals into the dripping-pan,
or daub the roast meat with the back of the chimney, or hide the key
of the jack. If a footman be suspected, let the cook daub the back
of his new livery; or when he is going up with a dish of soup, let
her follow him softly with a ladle-full, and dribble it all the way
up stairs to the dining-room; and then let the house-maid make such
a noise, that her lady may hear it. The waiting-maid is very likely
to be guilty of this fault, in hopes to ingratiate herself: in this
case, the laundress must be sure to tear her shifts in the washing,
and yet wash them but half; and, when she complains, tell all the
house that she sweats so much, and her flesh is so nasty, that she
fouls a shift more in one hour, than the kitchen-maid doth in a week.”