"By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin' eastward to the sea,
There's a Burma girl a settin'," an' she takes _'er_ time from _me_.
But this Siam puss looks pooty, and I'm sorter bound to say
"You stand back, you sailor Frenchy! that's a game as two can play!"
'Twas _my_ game at Mandalay,
And _you_ seem on the same lay:
You can twig my Jack a-flaunting from the Nile to Mandalay;
But this I've got to say,
If your 'and on 'er you lay,
I shall ask you to take a 'and in a game as _men_ can play!
'Er petticoat is yaller, and 'er little cap is green,
And--I shouldn't half object to interjuce 'er to my Queen!
I don't want to see 'er suckin' of a Paris cigarette,
And a-wastin' purchased kisses on French Bullyvards--you bet!
No, I wouldn't shed no blood,
But by Mekon's yaller mud,
I 'ave always felt it "bizness" to take care no rival stud
On my road to "far Cathay."
Wot? She's fired upon your gunboats? Well, I'd like to know, yer see,
If them gunboats wos cavortin' where they didn't ought to be.
Your clutch upon 'er wrist, eh? Well, that's like your bloomin' cheek!
She shrinks from you, my Frenchy. No, yer know if she _should_ squeak--
Give a reglar woman's squeak,
Though she looks carved out o' teak--
I should think o' my own womankind, my friend, and I should--_speak_
In the British sailor's way!
You'll "respect 'er Independence and Integrity," you say?
Well, a man who on a woman 'is 'and would dare to lay--
Hay? _Save in the way o' kyindness!_ Why, you've capped me there, I own,
Which I didn't think _that_ sentiment to Frenchies was beknown.
It's a bit o' good old VIC.!
But you've nicked it quick and slick.
Well, I 'ope you'll square it fairly, and not lay it on too thick,
In the brave old _Bismarck_ way!
The idea o' wasting ivory, silk, and peacocks' tails, and such,
Upon merchants who're a trifle too much like GEORGE CANNING'S "Dutch."[A]
When a fair and square Free Trader, like--well, not _un_like myself,
Could stand by for to purtect 'er, and 'elp 'er--and 'im--pile pelf,
Well--I can quite understand
She may find your 'eavy 'and
Too _kyind_ by half, my Frenchy, and prefer the British land,
And the British Tar's old way.
Yes; our ROSEBERY and your DEVELLE do agree--in words, no doubt,
But, yer see, the Ten Commandments, in Bangkok, git turned about!
"Independence and Integrity" for pooty dear Miss SIAM,
Is wot _you_'re "interested in" my Frenchy,--and so I am!
Only--in the game we play,
Cards do turn up in a way
That would stagger sly AH SIN himself. If you git in my way
On my road to "Old Cathay,"
Or my aid this gyurl _should_ pray,
I _might_ p'raps come down like thunder,--as I did in Mandalay!
[Footnote A:
"In matters of commerce, the fault of the Dutch
Is giving too little and asking too much."
_Canning's "A Political Despatch."_]
* * * * *
THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES.--_Middlesex_ v. _Sussex_.
* * * * *