TAKING A STAND
'Who is not afraid to say his say,
Though a whole town's against him.'--_Longfellow._
I was soon at home with the Forsyths. Nelly and Violet treated me as a
sister, and Constance was too much engrossed at present with her own
concerns to take much notice of me. Kenneth was the only one who was
continually bringing forward serious topics of conversation in my
presence, and requesting me to give him my views on them. He never let
me alone, and though I tried to keep out of his way, and say as little as
possible, I found it increasingly difficult. Captain Gates more than
once came to my rescue; but since I felt he had betrayed my confidence a
few evenings before, I could not talk with the same freedom to him.
I saw very little of General Forsyth. He spent the greater part of his
time out of doors, and it was only in the evening that he joined us all.
His children, though fond of him, never seemed to feel at ease in his
company, and I soon found that his will was law with all.
One afternoon soon after my arrival I went out for a stroll across the
fields at the back of the house. I felt I wanted to be alone, and away
from the constant chatter and laughter of the girls. So I wandered on
farther than I had intended, and found myself at last on the edge of a
wild moor. My thoughts were grave ones, but very happy ones; and as I
gazed over the broad expanse of heather in front of me away into the blue
distance, where the soft fleecy clouds seemed to stoop and kiss the
outlines of purple hills as they swept gently by, I could not help
thanking God with all my heart that He had brought me into my present
surroundings.
Suddenly I was startled by hearing close to me a child's sobs, and after
some minutes' search I came upon a tiny boy crouched amongst the heather,
grasping a bunch of faded harebells in his chubby fist, and crying as if
his heart would break.
As I bent over him, he looked up into my face and sobbed out pitifully,--
'Cally me home, lady; I wants my mother.'
'You poor little mite!' I said. 'What is your name? and where do you
live?'
But as I lifted him up he uttered a sharp cry. 'My foots is hurted; I
tumbled down, and I've losted my boot.'
I saw that this was indeed the case; his little foot was cut and
bleeding, perhaps from coming in contact with some sharp stone, and I was
for a moment at a loss what to do. He seemed about three or four years
old, but a heavily built child, and my heart sank at the prospect of
carrying him. Yet this was the only alternative, and as he seemed to
have very little idea of where he lived, I decided to bring him back with
me to our village, there being no other houses in sight.
He was quite willing to be carried, and wound his fat little arms so
tightly round my neck that I thought he would throttle me. But my
progress was painfully slow; the sun blazed down with fierceness, and
there was no shade on the moor; even the fresh breeze which I had so
enjoyed in coming seemed to have disappeared, and every now and then I
had to stop and rest. The child himself soon dropped asleep in my arms,
and I became so tired myself that I was strongly inclined to leave him
lying on the heather, and send some one to fetch him when I got home. At
last, to my great relief, as I was crossing a field I saw a figure
approaching, and this proved to be Kenneth.
'Halloo!' he said, when he caught sight of me and my burden, 'what on
earth have you got here? You are certainly the most extraordinary young
person that we have had in these parts for a long time! Where have you
picked up this small fry? Are you taking a pilgrimage and doing penance
for your sins with him? If you only could see your face! It makes me
burn to look at you!'
'Don't tease,' I said wearily, as I tried in vain to disengage the little
fellow's arms from round my neck. 'I found him crying amongst the
heather, and he has hurt his foot and cannot walk. Do take him from me,
will you?'
This was not such an easy matter. The child woke up cross, screamed when
Kenneth took him, and with his little fist struck him full in the face
with all his childish strength, crying out,--
'I won't be callied by you; I wants the lady.'
Kenneth tossed him across his shoulder with calm indifference to his
cries.
'I shall have a reckoning with you by-and-by, young man, for this
assault. He is the infant pickle of our village, Miss Thorn--commonly
called Roddy Walters; his mother keeps the small general shop, and Roddy
keeps her pretty lively with his pranks. His last mania has been running
away whenever he gets a chance, and if you intend to carry him home from
wherever you find him, you will have enough to do, I can tell you.'
I made no reply, for I felt quite exhausted, and was greatly relieved to
find that Kenneth knew where to take him.
Presently I was asked,--
'Been having a Bible study on the moor this afternoon?'
'No,' I said quietly, 'I have not.'
'That's a pity, isn't it? You have been out all the afternoon; it's
rather frivolous, isn't it, and a waste of precious time to be sauntering
over the moor doing nothing? A time of meditation, perhaps?'
Yes,' I answered, smiling a little in spite of myself, 'I have been
thinking, as I walked, what lovely country it is round here.'
'We are going to have some grand doings in our neighbourhood soon,'
Kenneth pursued after a few moments' silence; 'the autumn manoeuvres are
coming on, and every one round here keeps open house. We generally start
the ball rolling by a dance. Are you fond of dancing?'
'I used to be fond of it at school,' I said, 'but I--I don't care about
it now.'
I felt he was trying to draw me out, and resolved to say as little as
possible.
'Ah! you wait till you're in the thick of it, and see the scarlet jackets
flying round. All the girls here lose their heads, and their hearts,
too, for the matter of that. I was telling that fellow Stroud to-day
that if he means anything, he had better cut in at once and get it
settled, for Constance will have nothing to say to him a few weeks later.'
I said nothing; I had noticed Mr. Stroud's attentions to Constance, and
had drawn my own conclusions; but when Kenneth went on in the same strain
declaring that Constance would keep him hanging on till she saw any she
liked better, I turned upon him rather sharply,--
'I am very thankful you are not my brother. I think it is a shame of you
to talk so, and I won't listen to any more of it!'
He laughed, and as we were now entering the village there was little more
conversation between us till we had reached the small general shop. Mrs.
Walters came out to us in a great state of excitement, and Roddy, who had
nearly fallen asleep again, woke up and began to cry at the top of his
voice.
'I'm sure I don't know what to do with him,' she complained; 'he runs
away from school whenever he get a chance, and last Sunday he breaks into
my neighbour's chicken-house, and smashes a whole set of eggs that was
being 'atched! School do keep him a bit quiet in the week, but Sundays
he's just rampageous!'
'Does he go to Sunday School?' I asked.
'There's no Sunday School in our village, miss; the bigger ones they goes
to the next parish; but it's two good miles, and my Roddy he can't walk
so fur. Now thank the leddy and gentleman, you scamp, for bringin' you
home!'
Roddy turned his big blue eyes upon us, then suddenly held out his arms
to me.
'I'll kiss her, for she callied me much nicer nor the gempleum!'
I gave the little fellow a hug. He looked such a baby in his mother's
arms, and I felt quite drawn to him.
'I love little children so,' I said to Kenneth as we were walking home.
'I wish there was a Sunday School in this place. I should like Roddy in
my class.'
'You might start a Sunday School,' suggested Kenneth gravely. 'Our old
rector will let you do exactly as you like, I am sure.'
'I wonder if I could,' I said reflectively; 'just a class for the little
ones, and those that can't walk as far as the bigger, stronger ones. I
should be glad if I could do something on Sunday.'
Then remembering to whom I was speaking, I checked myself and said no
more on the subject, though my thoughts were busy.
When we came up to the house we found that afternoon tea was going on
under the old elms on the lawn. Mrs. Forsyth was in a low wicker-chair
with her work, Constance was pouring out tea, and Nelly was swinging
lazily in a hammock, whilst Captain Gates and Mr. Stroud were making
themselves generally agreeable.
'Have you two been taking a walk together?' asked Nelly as we approached.
'I have been hunting for you everywhere, Hilda. Lady Walker has been
calling, and wanted to see you; she used to know your mother.'
'How warm you look!' observed Constance, eyeing me, I felt, with
disapproval. 'What have you been doing?'
I sat down on the garden seat, glad to rest, and Kenneth, leaning against
the tree opposite, began:--
'Well now, I will give you a true account of her. She felt so disgusted
with our frivolity at lunch, that she went out to get away from us; she
wandered on dreaming her dreams and building her castles in the air,
mourning over our depravity, and lamenting that she had no scope with us
for all her benevolent projects, until she found herself out upon the
moor, whereupon she looked round, and after a time found Roddy Walters
asleep. It was an opportunity to act the Good Samaritan; she hoisted him
up into her arms in spite of his howls, and insisted upon carrying him
home. And I met her panting and struggling with him in old Drake's
meadows.'
'But why didn't you let him walk, Hilda?' interrupted Nelly.
'He had hurt his foot, poor little fellow--it was impossible; even your
brother saw that, for he carried him the rest of the way himself.'
'And now,' pursued Kenneth gravely, 'the upshot is that she is so aghast
at the state of heathenism and wickedness that the village children are
in, that she is going to start a Sunday School herself next Sunday, and I
expect she hopes to enlist some of us as teachers. Will you go, Gates?
I will back you up.'
'Oh, I will go as a scholar,' said Captain Gates readily.
'I think, Kenneth, you are letting your tongue run on too fast,' said
Mrs. Forsyth gently; 'I am quite sure Hilda has no such intentions.'
I felt myself getting vexed under all this chaffing, but it has always
been my way to speak out, and so, turning to Mrs. Forsyth, I said,--
'He is not representing it fairly, Mrs. Forsyth. Mrs. Walters was
telling us she wished she could send Roddy to Sunday School, and I said
how much I wished I could have him to teach. It was Mr. Kenneth who
suggested my having a Sunday School. I certainly liked the idea, and
meant to speak to you about it, but not now.'
Kenneth laughed. 'You meant to have a private confabulation with the
mater and the parson, but we like everything above board here. We
haven't much to amuse us, and so every one likes to know every one else's
business. I can see you have an eye for reform, so think it just as well
to warn others about you.'
'Hilda,' said Mrs. Forsyth, who evidently wished to change the subject,
'Lady Walker has invited you to go to some theatricals next Wednesday
with the girls. I told her you had no engagement; you will enjoy it, I
hope. They live a little distance off in a beautiful old abbey, and are
very nice people.'
There was silence; I felt that difficulties were all round me this
afternoon, and perhaps being so tired helped to make me less willing to
assert my views. I sipped my cup of tea before replying, and then said
quietly,--
'It was very kind of her to ask me.'
'It will be great fun, Hilda. The Walkers are awfully good at that kind
of thing, and they are going to have the stage out of doors. I wish I
was going to take part in it, but we shall finish up with a dance after,
so I shall keep myself for that.'
Silently I put up a prayer for courage, and then replied,--
'I don't think I shall go, Nelly; I do not care about theatricals nor
dancing.'
'I have accepted for you,' said Mrs. Forsyth quickly and decidedly, 'for
General Forsyth wishes you to go. I am afraid you must keep your likes
and dislikes in the background whilst with us about matters like this.'
And taking up her work she left us and went towards the house, whilst I
felt my cheeks burn, as I realized how displeased she was at my speech.
Nelly began laughing and talking with Captain Gates, Constance and Mr.
Stroud soon strolled away, and I sat on, conscious that Kenneth's eyes
were upon me, yet feeling so uncertain of myself that I dared not speak.
I think I was very near tears. Presently Nelly turned to me: 'Have you
finished your tea, Hilda? will you come and get some flowers for the
dinner-table?'
I jumped up, tired though I was, and when we were out of hearing of the
others, Nelly put her hand caressingly on my arm:--
'You poor little thing, you have been having a hot time of it since you
came back from your walk. I feel awfully sorry for you. Mother is
vexed, of course, but she will have forgotten all about it by the time
she next sees you. She is never angry for long. Captain Gates said to
me just now that you were not wanting in courage or straightforwardness;
you spoke up well, Hilda; but I have warned you beforehand, you had much
better, as mother says, keep your likes and dislikes to yourself. As
Captain Gates was saying, if a person feels in a foreign element, the
only cure is to adapt themselves to it. He is taking quite an interest
in you, Hilda; he told me you had a true ring about you. But it is
awfully funny to me, your standing out against all innocent pleasure.'
'I will talk to you about it another day, Nelly,' I said, trying to speak
gently; 'don't think me disobliging if I leave you now. I am so tired
that I feel I cannot walk another step. You don't mind getting the
flowers by yourself, do you?'
'Of course I don't. Go up to your room and have a nap; you will have a
quiet time till dinner.'
I left her, for I felt I must be alone; and when I reached my room I took
my Bible, and sitting down in the low window seat turned over its leaves
for comfort and guidance. My thoughts were perplexed ones. How I longed
to live at peace with every one! How easy it would be to slip along in
this pleasant family life, doing as others did around me; how
increasingly difficult I should find it, if I was continually setting
myself up in opposition to all their plans and wishes for me! And yet in
my heart I knew that unless I took a stand from the first, I should be
drawn into a whirl of gaiety, such as I felt would not be the right
position for a true Christian to be found in. Then I wondered what
claims my guardian had upon me, how far it would be right to obey him,
and where I must draw the line. 'If only I had some one to advise me!' I
murmured, and the next minute felt ashamed of the thought as these words
met my eye,--
'But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in
My name, He shall teach you all things.'
I bowed my head in prayer, and when a little later I turned again to my
Bible I was not long left in doubt. 'Be not conformed to this world,' I
read in Romans. I turned up the references: 'Not fashioning yourselves
according to the former lusts in your ignorance.' 'Love not the world,
neither the things that are in the world.' 'Wherefore come out from
among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord.' As I sat there drinking
in these messages, and dwelling upon them each in turn, all doubt and
hesitation left me. I was quieted and refreshed, and when the thought of
my guardian's possible anger flitted across my mind, I was able to put it
aside--'He shall teach you all things.'
And that took me to another verse, 'Take ye no thought how or what thing
ye shall answer, or what ye shall say; for the Holy Ghost shall teach you
in the same hour what ye ought to say.'
With this I was quite content.