"May I see you privately?"
The well-dressed stranger approached the mayor of the suburban town with
the air of one who knew his business. When they were alone he said:
"I want to apply for the position of village burglar."
"Village burglar!"
"Yes, sir. I guarantee results, I only rob one house a week. This
includes a clean get-away. When a man, no matter how conscientious,
attempts any more than this, he is bound to deteriorate. By employing me
regularly you get the best results."
"What inducements do you offer?"
"Your village will be advertised regularly and in the most efficient
manner. I will guarantee to keep away all other burglars, thus insuring
the comfort and safety of your police. I return all goods stolen. If it
is necessary at any time to wound any of your citizens, I will pay half
of the hospital expenses. Salary five thousand a year. Can furnish
references."
"Nothing else?"
"My dear sir, what more do you want?"
The mayor shook his head, as rising, he indicated that the interview was
over.
"Sorry, my friend," he said, "that I can't accept your offer, but I am
just closing a contract with a man who not only will burglarize our
village regularly on your terms, but also will turn over to us as a
rebate one-half of the salary he gets from the burglary insurance
company that employs him."