Begin by prescribing to yourself some character and demeanor, such as you
may preserve both alone and in company.
Be mostly silent, or speak merely what is needful, and in few words. We
may, however, enter sparingly into discourse sometimes, when occasion
calls for it; but let it not run on any of the common subjects, as
gladiators, or horse races, or athletic champions, or food, or drink—the
vulgar topics of conversation—and especially not on men, so as either to
blame, or praise, or make comparisons. If you are able, then, by your own
conversation, bring over that of your company to proper subjects; but if
you happen to find yourself among strangers, be silent.
Let not your laughter be loud, frequent, or abundant.
Avoid taking oaths, if possible, altogether; at any rate, so far as you
are able.
Avoid public and vulgar entertainments; but if ever an occasion calls you
to them, keep your attention upon the stretch, that you may not
imperceptibly slide into vulgarity. For be assured that if a person be
ever so pure himself, yet, if his companion be corrupted, he who
converses with him will be corrupted likewise.
Provide things relating to the body no further than absolute need
requires, as meat, drink, clothing, house, retinue. But cut off
everything that looks toward show and luxury.
Before marriage guard yourself with all your ability from unlawful
intercourse with women; yet be not uncharitable or severe to those who
are led into this, nor boast frequently that you yourself do otherwise.
If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make
excuses about what is said of you, but answer: “He was ignorant of my
other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.”
It is not necessary for you to appear often at public spectacles; but if
ever there is a proper occasion for you to be there, do not appear more
solicitous for any other than for yourself—that is, wish things to be
only just as they are, and only the best man to win; for thus nothing
will go against you. But abstain entirely from acclamations and derision
and violent emotions. And when you come away, do not discourse a great
deal on what has passed and what contributes nothing to your own
amendment. For it would appear by such discourse that you were dazzled by
the show.
Be not prompt or ready to attend private recitations; but if you do
attend, preserve your gravity and dignity, and yet avoid making yourself
disagreeable.
When you are going to confer with anyone, and especially with one who
seems your superior, represent to yourself how Socrates or Zeno[6] would
behave in such a case, and you will not be at a loss to meet properly
whatever may occur.
When you are going before anyone in power, fancy to yourself that you may
not find him at home, that you may be shut out, that the doors may not be
opened to you, that he may not notice you. If, with all this, it be your
duty to go, bear what happens and never say to yourself, “It was not
worth so much”; for this is vulgar, and like a man bewildered by
externals.
In company, avoid a frequent and excessive mention of your own actions
and dangers. For however agreeable it may be to yourself to allude to the
risks you have run, it is not equally agreeable to others to hear your
adventures. Avoid likewise an endeavor to excite laughter, for this may
readily slide you into vulgarity, and, besides, may be apt to lower you
in the esteem of your acquaintance. Approaches to indecent discourse are
likewise dangerous. Therefore, when anything of this sort happens, use
the first fit opportunity to rebuke him who makes advances that way, or,
at least, by silence and blushing and a serious look show yourself to be
displeased by such talk.