THE AUTHOR’S GREAT LOVE OF HIS NATIVE COUNTRY—HIS MASTER’S
OBSERVATIONS UPON THE CONSTITUTION AND ADMINISTRATION OF
ENGLAND, AS DESCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR, WITH PARALLEL CASES AND
COMPARISONS—HIS MASTER’S OBSERVATIONS UPON HUMAN NATURE.
The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself to
give so free a representation of my own species, among a race of mortals
who were already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of human kind,
from that entire congruity betwixt me and their _yahoos_. But I must
freely confess, that the many virtues of these excellent quadrupeds
placed in opposite view to human corruptions, had so far opened my eyes
and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and
passions of man in a very different light, and to think the honor of my
own kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me
to do before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who daily
convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I had not the least
perception before, and which among us would never be numbered even among
human infirmities. I had likewise learned from his example an utter
detestation of all falsehood or disguise; and truth appeared so amiable
to me, that I determined upon sacrificing everything to it.
Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was yet
a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation of
things. I had not been a year in this country before I contracted such
a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that I entered on a firm
resolution never to return to human kind, but to pass the rest of my life
among these admirable Houyhnhnms, in the contemplation and practice of
every virtue; where I could have no example or incitement to vice. But
it was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a felicity
should not fall to my share. However, it is now some comfort to reflect,
that in what I said of my countrymen, I extenuated their faults as much
as I durst before so strict an examiner, and upon every article gave as
favorable a turn as the matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there
alive that will not be swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of
his birth?
I have related the substance of several conversations I had with my
master, during the greatest part of the time I had the honor to be in his
service; but have, indeed, for brevity’s sake, omitted much more than is
here set down.
When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to be
fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and commanding me to
sit down at some distance (an honor which he had never before conferred
upon me), he said he had been very seriously considering my whole story,
as far as it related both to myself and to my country. That he looked
upon us as a sort of animals to whose share, by what accident he could
not conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we made
no other use than by its assistance to aggravate our natural corruptions,
and to acquire new ones which Nature had not given us. That we disarmed
ourselves of the few abilities she had bestowed; had been very successful
in multiplying our original wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in
vain endeavors to supply them by our own inventions. That as to myself,
it was manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common yahoo,
that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out a contrivance to
make my claws of no use, or defense, and to remove the hair from my chin,
which was intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather. Lastly,
that I could neither run with speed, nor climb trees like my brethren, as
he called them, the _yahoos_ in this country.
That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to our
gross defects in reason, and by consequence, in virtue; because reason
alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was therefore a
character we had no pretense to challenge, even from the account I had
given of my own people; although he manifestly perceived, that in order
to favor them, I had concealed many particulars, and often said the thing
which was not.
He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because he observed, that as I
agreed in every feature of my body with other _yahoos_, except where it
was to my real disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and activity,
the shortness of my claws, and some particulars where nature had no part;
so from the representation I had given him of our lives, our manners,
and our actions, he found as near a resemblance in the disposition of
our minds. He said the _yahoos_ were known to hate one another more
than they did any different species of animals; and the reason usually
assigned, was the odiousness of their own shapes, which all could see in
the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think it not
unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that invention conceal many of
our deformities from each other, which would else be hardly supportable.
But he now found he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of these
brutes in his country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had
described them. “For if,” said he, “you throw among five _yahoos_ as
much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating
peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single one impatient to have
all to itself; and therefore a servant was usually employed to stand
by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied
at a distance from each other; that if a cow died of age or accident,
before a Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own _yahoos_, those in the
neighborhood would come in herds to seize it, and then would insue such
a battle as I had described, with terrible wounds made by their claws
on both sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for
want of such convenient instruments of death as we had invented. At other
times the like battles have been fought between the _yahoos_ of several
neighborhoods, without any visible cause; those of one district watching
all opportunities to surprise the next before they are prepared. But if
they find their project has miscarried, they return home, and for want of
enemies, engage in what I call a civil war among themselves.”
That in some fields of his country, there are certain shining stones of
several colors, whereof the _yahoos_ are violently fond; and when part
of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happens, they
will dig with their claws for whole days to get them out, then carry
them away and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but still looking
round with great caution, for fear their comrades should find out their
treasure. My master said he could never discover the reason of this
unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of any use to a _yahoo_;
but now he believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice
which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of experiment,
privately removed a heap of these stones from the place where one of
his _yahoos_ had buried it; whereupon the sordid animal, missing his
treasure, by his loud lamenting brought the whole herd to the place,
there miserably howled, then fell to biting and tearing the rest; began
to pine away; would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a
servant privately to convey the stones into the same hole, and hide them
as before; which when his _yahoo_ had found, he presently recovered his
spirits and good humor, but took good care to remove them to a better
hiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute.
My master farther assured me, which I also observed myself, that in the
fields where these shining stones abound, the fiercest and most frequent
battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighboring
_yahoos_.
He said it was common when two _yahoos_ discovered such a stone in a
field, and were contending which of them should be the proprietor, a
third would take the advantage and carry it away from them both; which
my master would needs contend to have some kind of resemblance with our
suits at law; wherein I thought it for our credit not to undeceive him;
since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many decrees
among us; because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside
the stone they contended for; whereas our courts of equity would never
have dismissed the cause while either of them had anything left.
My master continuing his discourse, said there was nothing that rendered
the _yahoos_ more odious than their undistinguishing appetite to devour
everything that came in their way, whether herbs, roots, berries, the
corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled together; and it was peculiar
in their temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by rapine
or stealth at a greater distance, than much better food provided for them
at home.
There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare and
difficult to be found, which the _yahoos_ sought for with much eagerness,
and would suck it with great delight; and it produced in them the same
effects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes hug and
sometimes tear one another; they would howl, and grin, and chatter, and
reel, and tumble, and then fall asleep in the mud.
I did indeed observe that the _yahoos_ were the only animals in the
country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much fewer than
horses have among us, and contracted not by any ill treatment they
meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute.
Neither has their language any more than a general appellation for those
maladies, which is borrowed from the name of the beast, and called _hnea
yahoo_, or the _yahoo’s_ evil.
As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like, my master
confessed he could find little or no resemblance between the _yahoos_ of
that country and those in ours. For he only meant to observe what parity
there was in our natures. He had heard, indeed, some curious Houyhnhnms
observe, that in most herds there was a sort of ruling _yahoo_ (as among
us there is generally some leading or principal stag in a park), who was
always more deformed in body and mischievous in disposition than any of
the rest. That this leader had usually a favorite as like himself as he
could get. This favorite is hated by the whole herd, and therefore, to
protect himself, keeps always near the person of his leader. He usually
continues in office till a worse can be found; but the very moment he
is discarded, his successor, at the head of all the _yahoos_ in that
district, young and old, male and female, come in a body, and attack him.
But how far this might be applicable to our courts, and favorites, and
ministers of state, my master said I could best determine.
I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased human
understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has judgment
enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in the pack,
without being ever mistaken.
My master told me that a thing he wondered at in the _yahoos_, was their
strange disposition to nastiness and dirt, whereas there appears to be a
natural love of cleanliness in all other animals. As to the two former
accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply, because I had
not a word to offer upon them in defense of my species, which otherwise
I certainly had done from my own inclinations. But I could have easily
vindicated human kind from the imputation of singularity upon the last
article, if there had been any swine in that country (as unluckily
for me there were not), which although it may be a sweeter quadruped
than a _yahoo_, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more
cleanliness; and so his honor himself must have owned, if he had seen
their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing and sleeping
in the mud.
My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants had
discovered in several _yahoos_, and to him was wholly unaccountable.
He said a fancy would sometimes take a _yahoo_ to retire to a corner,
to lie down and howl and groan, and spurn away all that came near him,
although he were young and fat, wanted neither food nor water; nor did
the servants imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedy
they found was to set him to hard work, after which he would infallibly
come to himself. To this I was silent out of partiality to my own kind;
yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of spleen, which only
seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich; who, if they were forced
to undergo the same regimen, I would undertake for the cure.