_He._ "And what would _dovey_ do, if lovey were to _die_?"
_She._ "Oh, dovey would die _too_!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: NEEDLESSLY POINTED
_Sympathetic Friend._ "Well, my dear, I'm sure your mother will miss you
sadly after your _having been with her so long_!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: ALTRUISM
_Maud_ (_newly married_). "You look very melancholy, George; are you
sorry you married me?"
_George._ "No, dear--of course not. I was only thinking of all the nice
girls I can't marry."
_Maud._ "Oh, George, how horrid of you! I thought you cared for nobody
but me?"
_George._ "No more I do. I wasn't thinking of myself, but of the
disappointment for _them_."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Jones_ (_newly married_). "There's my darling playing
the guitar."]
[Illustration: (_But it wasn't. It was only the garden roller over the
gravel!_)]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID
_Jones._ "I will!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration:
_Mr. Jenks_ (_who likes Miss Constance_). "No, I assure you, Miss
Constance, I have _never_ indulged in flirtation."
_Miss Constance_ (_who does_ not _care for Mr. Jenks_). "Ah, perhaps you
have never had any _encouragement_!"]
* * * * *
THE LUXURY OF LIBERTY.--_Bosom Friend._ "Well, dear, now that you are a
widow, tell me are you any the happier for it?" _Interesting Widow._
"Oh! no. But I have my freedom, and that's a great comfort. Do you know,
my dear, I had an onion yesterday for the first time these fourteen
years?"
* * * * *
"THE SILLY SEASON."--The Honeymoon.
* * * * *
CONSOLATION.--_Mother-in-law._ "I'll be bound that Robert--I've lost all
patience with him--never dined with you on Michaelmas-day, my dear?"
_Daughter._ "No, mamma, but he sent me home a goose." _Mother-in-law._
"Psha! Done in a fit of absence, my dear."
* * * * *