COMPLAINING of the foul condition of the bathing-lakes in Victoria Park,
Mr. PICKERSGILL asked the First Commissioner of Works "to accompany him
one morning to see the state of the Lakes for himself." There is some
reason to believe that, acting on this admirable suggestion, official
expeditions will be organised to other places; for instance:--
The Duke of BEDFORD will attend at Covent Garden Market at two o'clock
in the morning and stay there till mid-day, and see how he likes it.
Mr. CHAMBERLAIN will consent to be locked inside a barricaded Irish
hovel when an eviction is expected.
The Ranger of Kensington Gardens--if there is one, or, failing him, the
Deranger--will visit the neighbourhood of the Round Pond, and notice the
adroit manner in which the turf has been removed so as just to prevent
the full enjoyment of the gardens by the public during the whole of the
present summer.
Mr. MATTHEWS, as an Amateur and very Casual Defendant, will go round the
various Metropolitan Police-courts, and attempt to give evidence
contradicting that of policemen, and will thus obtain a valuable insight
into Magisterial deportment.
Selected Members of the Vestries and of the Metropolitan Board of Works
will harness themselves to omnibuses, and attempt to drag the vehicles,
when fully loaded, over watered wood and asphalte without slipping.
The Archbishop of CANTERBURY, disguised as a troubled parishioner in
need of spiritual advice, will call on any London Curate and ask him his
real unvarnished opinion on his Vicar's proposal that he should "give
liberally" to the Church House Scheme.
Mr. GLADSTONE will "take a place" in Kerry and try to collect his own
rents.
Mr. LABOUCHERE will negotiate with the Sublime Porte himself, at half
Sir H. DRUMMOND WOLFF'S salary, and promise not to grumble.
And, every Member of Parliament who has ever promised to "do something"
to improve the Dwellings of the Poor, and has done nothing, will spend
the whole of August in a slum-dwelling in Whitechapel.
* * * * *
Old Doggerel Adapted.
SOME say to keep the realm compact,
We must stick to the Union-Act;
Others, that to be one, and feel it,
We must immediately repeal it.
Strange that such difference should be,
'Twixt Uni_on_ and Uni_ty_!
* * * * *
How perfect Mr. RIDER HAGGARD'S latest story would he, if it weren't for
his persistent introduction of the low comedian, a stagey French cook of
the old farcical order. Couldn't he "find another way to (comic) man his
Haggard?" This quotation is from _The Taming of the Shrew_, adapted.
* * * * *