IT WAS NOT TO BE.
The sun streamed down on Berlin from a cloudless sky, and all the life
of the town gathered in a confused, restless throng in Unter den
Linden; but the bustle on this hot summer day, June 16, 1871, had quite
a different character from that of eleven months before. And if any one
could have listened to it all with closed eyes, he might have
distinguished a joyful excitement in the air, in the laughing of
children and girls, in the lively gossip of the men; and from all these
sounds of joy and chatter he might have detected the signs that
overstrained nerves were now relaxed after long hours of weary
suspense. What hundreds of thousands had wished and hoped for on that
Friday in July had now come to its glorious fulfillment, and Berlin, as
the proud capital of a newly-established empire, was giving a welcome
home to the army. They had at last found the answer to Arndt's
ill-natured question about the German Fatherland, and had set the great
Charles' imperial crown on the head of their bold Hohenzollern king.
On one of the raised platforms near the Brandenburger Thor were Wilhelm
and Dr. Schrotter. The former had renounced the privilege which
belonged to him, as officer in the Reserves, and moreover, as an
example, had not claimed his position among those who were wounded in
the war, still however wearing his uniform. Had he consulted his own
inclinations, he would not have come to see this triumphant entrance,
as he took very little pleasure in the noisy enthusiasm of crowds. A
great deal of actual vulgarity is always exhibited on these occasions,
mingled with some real nobility of feeling. Counter-jumpers and
work-girls secure comfortable positions from which to see the
processions, groups of calculating shopkeepers with advertisements of
pictures and medals of hateful ugliness speculate on the generosity of
the crowd, and others push with all the force of their bodily weight to
obtain and keep the front places for themselves. Frau Ellrich had sent
Wilhelm two tickets, hoping that he would make use of them. Dr.
Schrotter wished to see the spectacle, so Wilhelm asked his new friend
to go with him.
Near where they sat was the platform for the ladies who were to crown
the victors with wreaths. Among them was Loulou. All the emotions and
force of character of which she was capable had been brought out by her
position. Through the influence of her father, who, in all the
difficult and responsible business of the French indemnity had found
time to intercede for his little daughter with the burgomasters and
magistrates, Loulou's dream was realized; a dream which all the
prettiest girls in the best society in Berlin had also shared during
the last week. Her enrollment in this troop of beauties was regarded by
her less successful friends with envy, but the vexation of disappointed
rivals was naturally the sweetest part of her triumph.
The young girls were dressed all alike in mediaeval dresses like the
well known pictures of Gretchen in "Faust," with long plaits of hair,
puffed and slashed sleeves, and senseless and theatrical-looking little
hanging pockets. All were nevertheless conscious of the propriety of
their appearance, and felt quite heroic. It really was heroic to sit
there hour after hour in the burning sun bareheaded, until all were
gathered into one great picture, and a documentary proof could be
handed down to their grandchildren in the shape of a large-sized
photograph, showing that their grandmothers had been chosen as the
official beauties of Berlin in the year 1871. The satisfaction of
vanity, involving such a sacrifice, almost deserves admiration.
It was nearly midday when a sudden stir took place in the crowd. Every
one on the platforms sprang up and began to wave hats and
handkerchiefs. In the windows, on the roofs, in the spaces between the
platforms, wherever men could be packed, suddenly all the heads turned
to one side, just as a field of corn bends before a breeze. Then uprose
a roar of shouts and cheers, deafening and almost stunning in
intensity. It was impossible any longer to distinguish tone, but only a
tumult, such as a diver in deep water might hear of the surface waves
above him. The senses were bemused by the continual succession, of
heads set close together like a mosaic, and covering the whole surface
of the great street, and by the roar which went up, cheering everything
which made its appearance; whether it were the struggling activity of
the crowd moving in the center of the street, the sudden fall of
foolhardy boys who had climbed into trees or up lampposts, or the short
and sharp fights which went on between spectators for the best places,
nothing escaped recognition.
Now between the firing of cannons was heard a more distant sound of a
warlike fanfare of trumpets, and between the pillars of the central
Brandenburg Gateway came the Field-Marshal Wrangel, recognizing all the
arrangements with a pleasant smile, and with a radiantly happy
expression on his withered face, as the first enthusiasm of the people
burst upon him, though he had demanded no part of the triumph for
himself. A group of generals followed him in gorgeous uniforms,
decorated with shining medals and stars, all bore famous names,
attracting the keenest interest and centering the enthusiasm of the
crowd. Endless and numberless seemed the ever-changing and
richly-colored procession--Moltke, Bismarck, and Roon side by side, all
statuesque figures, their eyes with stately indifference glancing at
the rejoicing people. They seemed in the midst of this stormy wave of
excitement like stern, immovable rocks, standing firm and high above
the breaking surf at their feet. Many people had at the sight of them
an intuitive feeling that they were not mortal men, but rather mystical
embodiments of the power of nature, just as the gods of the sun, the
sea, and the storm were the conceptions of the old religions. They
passed on, and at a short interval behind them came the Emperor
Wilhelm. His supreme importance was emphasized by the space left before
and after him. Wreaths covered his purple saddle, flowers drooped over
the glossy skin of his high-stepping charger, his helmeted head and his
gloved hand saluted and bowed, and on his face shone a mingled
expression of gratitude and emotion, which, after the hard, cold
bearing of his fellow-workers, was doubly impressive and affecting.
Manifestly this conqueror was not like his Roman prototype who had the
words, "Think of death," whispered in his ear, while he tolerated the
idolization of the people.
The monarch had to hear long speeches from the officials and verses
from the trembling lips of the young girls who surrounded him before he
could ride further. The train of individual heroes ended with him. The
principle of massing together was now the order, in which individuality
is no longer recognized.
Battalion after battalion and squadron after squadron in endless lines
passed by, until the tired eyes of the spectators could hardly after a
time distinguish whether the lines were still moving, or had come to a
standstill. The helmets and weapons of the soldiers were garlanded with
flowers and foliage, the horses' legs were twined with wreaths, and
their feet trod on a mass of trampled flowers and leaves. The strength
of the German army seemed to be decked and curled out of it; the lines
of marching soldiers had women's faces: here and there a man had a
patriotic admirer on his arm, who let it be seen that she had taken
possession of his weapon and carried it for him. The officers, as much
bedecked as their men, managed nevertheless to preserve their dignity.
The crowd was gradually becoming stupefied by the spectacle, throats
were sore with shouting and cheering, and the oppressive heat took the
freshness out of the people's enthusiasm. Once more, however, they
broke out again, just as when the emperor and his paladins appeared,
and this was when the French field-trophies were carried past.
Eighty-one standards and flags were there, from the battlefields of
Russia, Italy, and Mexico, soaked through with men's blood, gloriously
decomposed, torn, blackened with powder, and riddled with bullets. Now
the strong arms of German non-commissioned officers carried them in the
sultry heat of the midsummer afternoon, these miserable remnants
hanging heavy and limp without a flutter, without a spark of trembling
life in the silken folds; they looked like imprisoned kings, who with
heads bowed down, and despair in their eyes, walked in chains behind
the triumphant Roman chariots.
"Look," sad Dr. Schrotter to Wilhelm, when a short pause came in the
shouting, and in the rain of wreaths and flowers--"Look what makes the
deepest impression on the people, next to the great representative
figures. There is the symbol which you despised."
"What does that prove?" answered Wilhelm. "I never doubted that the
crowd was roused by appearances, and not by the reason of things. The
ideal results of victory one cannot see with one's eyes or applaud with
one's hands, but a dismantled banner one can."
"That does not explain everything. Atavism comes into it. The
inhabitants of towns in ancient times need to rejoice and cheer in the
same way when their victorious troops brought home the tutelary gods of
their enemies. It is the same idea, the same superstition, after an
interval of three thousand years."
"Yes, it is curious. I was thinking the whole time that one had a
picture of ancient civilization before one. The wreaths of flowers,
these swaggering figures with their trophies of war, this gay crowd,
distributing food and drink, these young girls with their crowns, is it
not all exactly the manner in which the people of the Stone Age or the
savages of to-day would feast their heroes? Cannot one understand in
this that at the beginning of civilization war was the highest object
in state and society, an opportunity of enrichment by booty, and a
festival for youth? Nowadays we ought to have got far enough to see in
war only a weary fulfilling of duty, a barbarous waste of labor, of
which we are inwardly ashamed; and we should keep away from this noisy
festival as from the execution of a criminal, which may be necessary,
but is painful to witness. The progress from barbarism to civilization
is frightfully slow."
"It is true; we are still carrying ancient barbarism round our necks,
and without a great deal of rubbing you will easily find the primitive
savage under the skin of our dear contemporaries who are able to
construe Latin beautifully. And these are not the only gloomy thoughts
which this spectacle gives me. Look there! over yonder at the other end
of the street they are unveiling a monument to Friedrich Wilhelm III.,
and the festival of victory is spoiled by homage paid to a despot who
during twenty-seven years never redeemed his pledge to give the people
a constitution. I am forty-eight years old, and yet I have not
forgotten my youthful ideas. My generation looked forward to a united
as well as to a free Germany, and hoped that unity would not come out
of a war, but rather from the freewill of the German people. It is now
with us through other means, but I fear not better ones. The
aristocracy and the Church will assert themselves again, and the
military system will lay its iron hand over the life of the whole
nation. People say already that it is the officer and not the
schoolmaster who has made Germany great. These changes put my thoughts
in a ferment. One has yet to see whether such a society of officers can
produce a people, and if its thinkers and teachers could not lead it to
a richer cultivation, and its poets to a higher ideal of duty. I am
afraid, my friend, that the higher souls in our new empire will not
find this an easy time."
"And yet you left your dreaming in India to come home to discomfort,"
said Wilhelm.
"My longing for Germany never left me all the twenty years I was there.
And then I confess that I secretly reproached myself for going away. It
is comfortable to turn one's back on the Fatherland, and to find more
agreeable conditions in a foreign country. But afterward one tells
oneself that only egoists leave their own people fighting against
darkness and oppression, and that one has no right to play the traitor
to home and belongings, while those left behind are striving bitterly
to better their condition."
The procession of troops was still passing, but the young girls had
already left their posts; the stands were beginning to empty, and
Wilhelm and Dr. Schrotter tried to break through the crowd and go
homeward. After a short silence Schrotter again went on:
"Don't misunderstand me," he said; "in spite of thinking this triumphal
procession barbaric, and my ideal being different from that of most
people, I was deeply moved to-day with sympathy and admiration. This
generation has achieved something colossal. My eyes fill with tears
when I see these men. For six or seven years they have shed their blood
in these wars without a murmur, they have fought in a hundred battles
without taking breath, they have neither counted the cost nor spared
their labor, and one feels astounded at living amid such heroes, who
seem to belong to a fairy tale. This generation has done more than its
duty, and if now it is weary and will rest for thirty years in peace,
surely no one can reproach it."
Schrotter spoke with emotion, and Wilhelm who would not grieve his
friend by a contradiction, repressed a retaliation which rose to his
lips, and silently took leave of him.
The life of the community, as of single individuals, went back
gradually into its old channels, and so it did with Dr. Schrotter. He
had lived hitherto in an old-fashioned quarter of the town, and now, to
be as near as possible to Wilhelm, he rented a house in the
Mittelstrasse. He established a private hospital in the old
Schonhauserstrasse, in the midst of artisans and very poor people, and
there he spent daily many hours, treating for charity all those who
came to him for help. He soon had a larger attendance than was
comfortable, and had to extend the work, without which he could not
have lived. He found endless opportunities of relieving misery and
distress in this poor quarter of the town, and as he was a rich man,
and independent of his own creature comforts, he could put his
philosophy of compassion into practice to his heart's content. Wilhelm
took up his work again at the Laboratory, and also resumed his visits
to the Ellrichs, but it was with an increasing discomfort. The
councilor, who had been distinguished for his services in the financial
transactions with the French Government, had heard the story of the
refusal of the Iron Cross. He thought it very ridiculous, and his early
friendship for Wilhelm became markedly cooler. Even Frau Ellrich's
motherly feeling for him received a check, and modesty and shyness no
longer seemed a sufficient explanation of the unaccountable delay in
his love-making. Only Loulou was apparently the same, whenever he came,
always lively and friendly, but when he left she was affectionate
without any display of emotion, grateful for tender glances, not
withholding quiet kisses, but not offering them--her calm manner almost
mysterious, as if love were simply something superficial and of small
import. Wilhelm could no longer deny that his first love, which had
stirred his being to the depths, was a mistake, but he could not bring
himself to definitely end the existing conditions. Hundreds of times he
was on the point of saying to Loulou that he did not think the tie
between them would secure their happiness, and offering her her
freedom, but as soon as he began his courage would fail him. If people
were present he was confused; if they were alone, her personal
appearance had the same charm for him, or rather it awoke in him the
remembrance of the delight and enthusiasm he had felt in the past, and
prevented him taking a step toward what would do grievous injury to her
girlish vanity, if nothing more.
Would this suspense and these fears, which made him so restless and
unhappy, always last? He might write a letter to Loulou, as he was
unable to say what he wished to in the light of her beautiful brown
eyes. Then he threw this idea aside as unworthy of consideration; he
could not simply dismiss a girl whom he loved by means of the post. The
simple thing to do seemed to wait, until, on the other side, they
should grow disgusted with him, and would tell him to go. This agreed
with his passive character, which was timidly inclined to draw back
before the rushing current of events, and preferred to be carried along
by them, just as a willow leaf is borne along on the surface of a
stream. Wilhelm could not help noticing that Herr von Pechlar was now a
favorite guest at the Ellrichs', that he made himself very fussy about
both mother and daughter, and that he had a very impertinent and
slightly triumphant air when he met him. He would only have to leave
the coast clear for Pechlar and all would be at an end.
Paul Haber, who was in Berlin again, and paying a great deal of
attention to Fraulein Marker, was grieved and really angry at the turn
his friend's romance had taken. He knew through Fraulein Marker how
Herr von Pechlar was trying to supplant Wilhelm, and that he took every
opportunity of making abominably false representations about him. There
ought to be no more foolish loitering about. It was unpardonable to let
the golden bird fly away so easily. Once open the hand, and she might
be off. If Fraulein Ellrich was beginning to flirt with Pechlar, it was
quite excusable, as Wilhelm's coolness might well drive her to it. But
if he stuck to his absurd whim, that she was too superficial for
him!--as if every girl were not superficial, and as if a man cannot
educate her to whatever level he pleases--then in heaven's name let him
make an end of it all, or the affair would become ridiculous and
contemptible. But other considerations had weight with Wilhelm.
Through Paul and the officers of his acquaintance he heard very
unfavorable things of Pechlar. He was only moderately well off, and had
more debts than hairs on his head; perhaps for a son-in-law of Herr
Ellrich's that was a venial offense. He was also a common libertine,
whose excesses were more like those of a pork-butcher than of a
cultivated man. His companions were not disinclined for little amorous
adventures--a joke with a pretty seamstress or restaurant waitress were
their capital offenses. But the manner in which Pechlar carried on his
amours was such as did not commend itself to either the easygoing or
cautious among the officers.
Wilhelm clearly saw that Pechlar did not love Loulou--he was probably
incapable of loving, and only wanted her dowry. Without a thought of
jealousy, and out of compassion for an inexperienced and guileless
creature who was dear to him, he thought it his duty to warn her before
she sullied herself by becoming bound to such a man. To save Loulou he
at last took the step which no respect for his own peace or honor had
allowed him to take before.
He went to the Ellrichs' house the next day at the usually early hour
of eleven o'clock, and asking for the young lady, he was shown into the
little blue boudoir, where he hoped to find Loulou alone. But he was
painfully surprised. Herr von Pechlar sat there, and appeared to be in
the middle of a conversation with Loulou. She smiled at Wilhelm, and
beckoned to him to come and sit near her, without embarrassment.
Wilhelm stayed a moment at the door irresolute, then he went forward,
and bowing to her without looking at the hussar, said earnestly: "I
came in the hope of speaking to you alone, gnadiges Fraulein. Perhaps I
may be so fortunate another time."
At these unexpected words Loulou opened her eyes wide. Herr von
Pechlar, however, who since Wilhelm's arrival had been tugging angrily
at his red mustache, could contain himself no longer, and said in a
harsh voice, which trembled with passion:
"That is the coolest thing I have ever heard. May I ask first of all
why you cut me on entering the room?"
"I only recognize people whom I esteem," said Wilhelm over his shoulder.
"You are a fool," flashed back Pechlar's answer.
Perfectly master of himself, Wilhelm said to Loulou, "I am extremely
sorry that I have been the cause of an outbreak of bad manners in your
presence," then he bowed and left the room, while Loulou sat there
motionless, and Herr von Pechlar gave him a scornful laugh.
With all his retirement from the world, and his indifference to the
usages of society, Wilhelm felt nevertheless a sharp stab of pain, as
if he had been struck across the face with a whip. As he walked down
the Koniggratzer Strasse it seemed to him as if a bright, fiery wound
burned on his face, and the passers-by were staring at this sign of
insult. His powerful imagination formed pictures unceasingly of violent
deeds of revenge. He saw himself standing with a smoking pistol
opposite the offender, who fell to the ground with a wound in his
forehead; or he fought with him, and after a long struggle he suddenly
pierced the hussar through the breast with his sword. By degrees his
blood cooled, and with all the strength of his will he fought against
the feelings which he knew formed the brute element in man, and which
with his philosophy he believed he had tamed, and he said to himself,
"No, no fighting. What good would it do? I should either kill him, or
be killed myself. His insulting words really do me no more harm than
the yelping of this little dog who is running past me. I will not let a
remnant of prejudice be stronger than my judgment."
Although he had come to this resolution, his nerves were still so
unstrung that he could not quiet them alone. He felt he must unburden
himself to some one, so he hastened toward Dr. Schrotter's. The doctor,
however, had not yet returned from his hospital. Wilhelm soon found the
inmates of his friend's household, an old Indian man-servant and a
housekeeper, also an Indian of about thirty-five, with a yellow face
already wrinkled and withered, large dark eyes, and a gold-piece
hanging from her nostrils. The old man maintained a respectful attitude
toward her, which pointed to a great difference of caste between them.
The woman showed by her small hands and feet, and the nobility of her
expression, the modest and yet dignified character of a lady, rather
than of a person in a subordinate position. Both wore Indian dress, and
attracted great attention when they showed themselves in the street.
They hardly ever went out, however, and were always busily employed in
service for Dr. Schrotter, to whom they were very devoted.
The old man, who spoke a little English, opened the door to him, and
told him that Schrotter Sahib would soon be in. The woman also
appeared, and beckoned to him to go and wait in the drawing-room,
opening the door as she did so. As he went in she crossed her arms on
her breast, bowed her head with its golden-colored silk turban, and
vanished noiselessly. She only spoke Hindustani, and always greeted
Wilhelm in this expressive manner.
The drawing-room, in which Wilhelm walked restlessly up and down, was
full of Indian things; oriental carpets on the floor, low divans along
the walls covered with gold embroidery and heaped with cushions,
rocking-chairs in the corners, punkahs hanging from the ceilings--no
heavy European furniture anywhere, but here and there a little toy-like
table or stool made of sandalwood or ebony, inlaid with silver or
mother-o'-pearl. Everything smelled strangely of sandalwood and camphor
and unknown spices, everything seemed to spring and shake under a heavy
European foot, everything had such an unaccustomed look, that one felt
as if one were in a foreign land, where Western prejudices and
standpoints were unknown and inadmissible. These surroundings spoke to
Wilhelm dumbly yet intelligibly, and he felt their persuasive power
almost immediately. He had recovered his equanimity when, a quarter of
an hour later, Schrotter came in.
"What a pleasant surprise!" he cried from the doorway. "Will you stay
to lunch with me?"
Wilhelm accepted gratefully, and then related his morning's
experiences. Schrotter had made him sit on a divan surrounded by
cushions, and listened attentively, while his half-closed eyes, full of
fire, rested on his friend's unhappy face. Wilhelm had never mentioned
his engagement to Fraulein Ellrich to many of his old friends, but Dr.
Schrotter had been told of it in all its circumstances by Paul Haber.
Now, however, Wilhelm could not avoid the subject in his mind, and to
make his last visit to the Ellrichs, and his behavior with regard to
Herr von Pechlar intelligible, he told Dr. Schrotter, in short, concise
language, the beginning and subsequent development of his love-affair,
and by the confession of his consideration of Loulou's nature, gave a
clew to his delay, coolness, and final renunciation.
When Wilhelm had finished, and raised his eyes questioningly to
Schrotter, the latter said, after a short silence:
"I congratulate you on the quiet way in which you have told me all
this. For a young fellow of twenty-six with deep feelings it is little
short of a wonder. But the question is, what do you intend to do?"
"Nothing," answered Wilhelm simply.
"You will not call out Herr von Pechlar?"
"No."
"And if Herr von Pechlar challenges you?"
"He challenge me?"
"Certainly; for although he is the direct offender, we can't overlook
the fact, dear Eynhardt, that you first insulted him, which by a nice
point of honor would justify him in taking the first steps. The man is
evidently bent on a quarrel, so we have to consider the possibility
that he may send his second with a challenge."
"In that case I would make it clear that I do not demand satisfaction,
but neither will I give it."
There was another pause.
"You are undertaking what may involve serious consequences," remarked
Schrotter.
"It appears to me easy enough," said Wilhelm.
"You could not think of an academic career in Germany after it."
"You know I do not aspire to that."
"Beside that, the episode will become an insurmountable barrier in a
hundred circumstances of life."
Wilhelm was silent.
"Don't misunderstand me. I have not a word to say in favor of the
regulation of duels. I abhor them. It is as stupid and brutal as the
offering of human sacrifices to appease angry gods. I myself have never
fought in a duel. But I--I am already on the shadowy side of life. I
want nothing more from the world. But those still on the sunny side
have other things to consider. I think war is a horrible barbarism,
still I would not advise any one to hold back from his duty in time of
war. Men are often compelled to take part in the foolishness of
majorities. I know your heart is in the right place, and that you don't
place any exaggerated value on your life. You are content to stand
alone in the world, and have no mortgage of obligation on your life.
Why will you not fight?"
"Simply because I think as you do about duels. I agree that one must
often take part in the folly of the crowd, but I see a difference
there. I go and fight in battle because the State compels me. I can
struggle against these laws with my feeble forces, and I can exert
myself to bring about their alteration; but so long as they exist I
must submit to them, or else exile myself or commit suicide. If the
duel were a written law, I would fight; but the law as a matter of fact
forbids it, and my opinions are in accordance with the law."
"But there are laws of society as well as laws of the State. There are
customs which prevail over opinion and prejudices."
"That is not the same thing. If the folly of the majority form itself
into laws of the State, the gendarmes see to their enforcement. No
judge or jailer compels obedience to the laws of society."
"Something like it, however. It is unspeakably bitter to live without
the respect of one's fellow-creatures."
"I am coming to that point. But please do not think me overbearing and
conceited. The respect of my fellow-men I hold far more lightly than
self-respect. If I despised myself it would be no compensation if every
one saluted me, and if I respect myself, it does not trouble me if
others hold me lightly. When I am not forcibly compelled I cannot let
my own actions be guided by the caprices and fads of other people. So
long as it is possible my actions shall be guided by my own judgment.
You say you want nothing more of the world--I require nothing more
either. The only thing I demand is the freedom of the soul."
"Yes--yes," murmured Schrotter as if to himself, "I know this direction
of thought better than you think. It has been brought before me a
hundred times by the word and action of Indian fakirs. It seems to me
that false freedom of the soul is a chimera. Our most unfettered
resolves are called forth by unknown, often by outward conditions, by
our own peculiar qualities, by the state of our bodily health, by
unknown nervous sources of energy through what we see, hear, read,
learn. You make your judgment the sole guide of your actions, but your
judgment itself is the result of forces and influences unsuspected by
yourself and depending on them. Well! you want to lead the life of a
fakir, to unloose the ties binding you to other men, that is one of
several ways to secure peace and happiness, which to me also is an
object in life. The principal thing is not to be superficial, but to
consider both what one requires and what one gives up before turning
into a fakir. I respect you in any case."
The drawing-room door opened noiselessly, and the Indian woman
appeared, and with a pleasant inclination of her head spoke a word to
Dr. Schrotter. He got up and said, "Lunch is ready." They went into the
adjoining dining-room, furnished like any ordinary room. On the table
was a beautiful silver bowl of Indian work filled with flowers, the
sole luxury of this bachelor's table, neither wine nor anything else to
drink being visible. Schrotter drank nothing but water, and he knew
that Wilhelm's taste was similar. Bhani, as the Indian housekeeper was
called, stood close behind her master's chair, never taking her eyes
off him. The dishes were brought in by the white-bearded servant, and
handed with a deep reverence to Bhani. She placed the dishes before
Schrotter, changing them for a fresh course, and poured water into his
glass. It was a silent, attentive service, almost giving the impression
of adoration. Bhani appeared not to be waiting on a mortal master, but
taking part in a sacrifice in a temple, so much devotion was expressed
in her noble, warmly-colored face.
A dish of curry spread its oriental scent through the room, and
Schrotter continued:
"Tell me, dear Eynhardt, in what way you mean to accomplish your
fakir's contempt of the world?"
"Pardon me," interrupted Wilhelm, "the expression does not strike me as
quite fair. I don't despise the world, I consider it merely as a
phenomenon, valueless to my way of thinking, and in which I fail to
find any real actuality."
"I understand quite well; we are not debating on a platform, but
chatting over our lunch. I am not troubling either to talk in the
correct jargon of school philosophy, and therefore I am at liberty to
call your longings after the essence of things, contempt of the world.
Now this occurs in two places--either among inexperienced young men of
strong, noble natures, instinctively conscious of their own vitality,
and intoxicated by their own strength, who feel so overcome by the
phenomenon that they undervalue it, and believe that they are able
singly to fight against it. Or there are the weak natures, who think
that they are capable of changing the phenomenon to suit themselves. As
they are not in a position to strive against it they retire sullenly
defeated. The story of the fox and the grapes would just express their
case, and also an excess of the consciousness of their 'ego.' Those
are, I think, the resources from which spring contempt of the world:
neither of these cases coincide with yours; you are not young and
inexperienced enough for the one, and you are too useful for the other.
You are healthy and sound, of average powers and energy, uncommonly
well made in body and mind; of the poetical age, comfortably off, and I
should like to know how you have come to despise the world?"
"I hardly know. The first impulse came perhaps in Russia in early
childhood, where I got into the habit of regarding people around me as
barbarous--neither useful nor valuable."
Schrotter shook his head.
"I have lived for twenty years among a subdued and so-called inferior
race, but I have learned to love them instead of despising them."
"Very likely I have inherited the feeling from my mother, who was very
timid of other people, and given to mysticism."
"Is it not rather your reading? The unhappy Schopenhauer?"
Wilhelm smiled a little.
"I am above all things an admirer of Schopenhauer, although his
explanation of the mysteries of the world through the will is a joke.
What he has written about the main teachings of Buddhism has influenced
me very much."
"I see where you have got to--'Maja Nirvana'"
Wilhelm nodded.
"That is all a fraud," Schrotter broke out, so that Bhani, who never
saw him violent, looked up frightened. "I know Indians who have talked
endlessly to learned pandits on these questions, and have explained the
real ideas of Maja Nirvana to me. It is incomprehensible that people
can misuse words on this subject as they do in Europe. Nirvana is not
what European Buddhists appear to believe--an absolute negation--a
cessation of consciousness and desire; but, on the contrary, it is the
highest consciousness, the expansion of individual being into universal
existence. Here is the Indian seer's conception: the most limited
individuality cares only for his own 'ego.' But in the same measure
that he transcends his limitation, the circle of his interest is
widened; more actualities and existing phenomena are admitted, and come
into sympathy with himself. All things mingle with and extend his own
'ego;' and that can be so widened as to embrace the interests of the
whole world, until man can be in as much sympathy with a grain of sand,
or the most distant star, and take as much share in the ant, and in the
dwellers on Saturn, as in his own stomach and toes. In this way the
whole universe becomes a constituent part of his 'ego;' thus his
desires cease individually to exist, and are assimilated with the
entire phenomenal world, and he longs for nothing beyond this. The
'ego' ceases because nothing is left outside the individual 'ego;' but
this Nirvana, this highest step in the perfection of humanity, is, as
you can see, not the negation of everything, but the absorption of
everything; not something immovable, but rather the wonderful,
ceaseless movement of the world's life. Men will not attain to Nirvana
through quiet and indifference, but through strenuous labor, not by
withdrawing into their 'ego,' but by going outside it. The true Nirvana
of the pandits is the exact opposite of your Schopenhauer's Nirvana."
"But how can this conception of the seer's Nirvana coincide with their
inactivity and renunciation of the world?"
"People misunderstand the fakir's belief. The Indian wise men think
that the work of perfection is performed by the spirit alone, and that
the activity of the body disturbs it; therefore the body must rest
while the soul accomplishes its full measure of work, while it widens
the circle of its interest, and absorbs into itself the phenomenal
world. The clumsy understanding of the crowd thereupon comes to the
conclusion that to become holy and attain to Nirvana, one must not stir
a finger, not even to support oneself."
Wilhelm thought over this new point of view, but Schrotter went on:
"Believe me, true wisdom is neither that of the fakir nor of the man of
the world; but as it appears to me, it neither despises the world nor
admires it. One must not depend on oneself too much, neither on others.
One must always be saying to oneself that one has no lasting importance
in the world, but that in this transitory state eternal forces are at
work, the same forces which drive the earth round the sun, and which
operate on all men and things. Do not let us individualize too much; we
are only a piece of the whole, to which we hang by a thousand unknown
threads. Let us not either be too arrogant in our bearing toward our
fellow-men, in whose company we are the involuntary puppets of unknown
laws of development which are leading humanity on to a given epoch."
This conversation had taken Wilhelm's mind off his misfortune, and he
had almost forgotten his adventure with Pechlar. He was reminded of it,
however, on reaching home about three o'clock, by finding Paul, who
always came to see him at that hour.
"What's the news?" cried he, coming cheerfully to meet him.
"I went to-day to see Fraulein Ellrich, to set things right between us."
"Bravo."
"Yes; I went, but I have not done it." And then he related the incident
again.
Paul seemed quite stunned while Wilhelm was speaking, and then sprang
up in great excitement from the sofa, and cried:
"You will fight the scoundrel, of course!"
"No," said Wilhelm quietly.
"What!" shouted Paul, taking hold of Wilhelm's shoulder and shaking
him. "Surely you are not in earnest? You are an officer--you have been
a student--you will never let that fool of a fellow place you in a
false position!" Wilhelm freed himself, and tried to speak reasonably;
but Paul would not listen, and went on, his face red with anger:
"Not only for yourself; you owe it to the girl's honor, if not to your
own, to punish the fellow. You won't appear like a coward in a woman's
eyes."
"That is an odd kind of logic."
"Do be quiet with your logic and your philosophy, and the lot of them.
I am not a logician, but a man, and I feel a mortal offense like a man,
and want to settle with the offender."
"Do stop a minute and let me speak a word. I will break off my
relations with Fraulein Ellrich, and then I shall not be in a position
to fight for her."
"That is very chivalrous!"
"That is silly! Just think of this situation: suppose I wound or kill
the offender--come back from the duel, and find the young girl, who is
the cause of the quarrel, ready to offer me the prize. I answer: 'Many
thanks, fair lady, I do not now wish for it,' and straightway leave
her, like the knight in the old ballad."
That seemed to satisfy Paul.
"Very well; then it must not be on her account. But fight you must,"
and he stopped suddenly, and then burst out: "If you will not fight
him, I will."
"Are you mad?"
Paul began to explain that he had the right to do it; he worked himself
into a fury, he stuck to his ideas, and it took Wilhelm an hour to
bring him to a more reasonable frame of mind. He spared no pains in
explaining to him his views of the world's opinion, and that the real
cowardice would be to fear the foolish prejudices of society; but it
was all in vain, and Paul's angry objections were only silenced when
Wilhelm said with great earnestness:
"If nothing that I say convinces you, I can only act in one way with
the painful knowledge that our friendship is not equal to such
conditions, but only to ordinary occasions."
"Oh! if it comes to giving up our friendship, as far as I am concerned,
I must wink at the whole thing; but what I can't stand is your calling
the opportunity which allows one to silence a fool, a mere disease."
The crisis was not long in coming. The next morning before Wilhelm went
out, a lieutenant of one of the Uhlan regiments stationed at Potsdam
called, and said he had come with a challenge from Herr von Pechlar; he
declined to sit down, giving his message as shortly as possible, with
the least suspicion of contempt in his voice.
Herr von Pechlar had waited the whole afternoon; but as Herr Eynhardt
had sent him no message, he could no longer put off demanding
satisfaction. The questions as to who was the offender, and what
weapons should be used, might now be decided by the seconds. Wilhelm
looked calmly into the officer's eyes, and explained that he had
nothing further to do with Herr von Pechlar.
"You are an officer in the Reserve?" asked the lieutenant haughtily.
"Yes."
"I hope you understand that we shall bring the case before the notice
of the regiment?"
"You are perfectly free to do so."
The lieutenant stuck his eyeglass into his right eye, looked hard at
Wilhelm for several seconds, then, with an expression of deep disgust,
he spat on the floor, noisily turned round, and without a word or sign,
retired, his sword and spurs clanking as he went.
Oh, how hard it was to overcome the instinct of the wild beast! How
furiously it tugged at its chain! How it tried to spring after the
lieutenant, and clutch his throat in its claws!--but Wilhelm conquered
the new cravings of his instinct and stood still. He experienced a
great self-contentment at last, and admitted to himself that he would
not have been nearly so glad if he had wounded a dozen of the enemy in
single combat.
Three days later he received in writing, an order to present himself at
eleven o'clock the morning but one following to the Commandant of the
61st Regiment. He took the journey the following evening, and at the
appointed hour he was shown into the commandant's private room, where
he found also his old captain, raised to the rank of major. He spoke
kindly to Wilhelm and held out his hand, while the commandant contented
himself with a nod, and a sign to be seated.
"I suppose you know that you have been ordered to come here about the
affair with Lieutenant von Pechlar?" he said.
"Certainly, sir."
"Will you relate what occurred?"
Wilhelm answered as he was desired. His recital was followed by a short
silence, during which the commandant and the major exchanged glances.
"And you will not fight?" asked the first.
"No, sir."
"Why not?"
"Because my principles do not allow me."
The commandant looked at the major again and then at Wilhelm, and went
on
"If I take the trouble to discuss the matter with you quite
unofficially, you have to thank the major, who has spoken warmly in
your favor."
Wilhelm thanked the major by a bow.
"We know that you are not a coward. You showed great bravery on the
battlefield. It is because of that, I feel sorry. You are a faddist,
you proved that by your refusal of the Iron Cross, which is the pride
of every other German soldier. We are not willing to condemn a mode of
procedure, the meaning of which you evidently do not understand, and
which all your views of life tend to destroy. I am not speaking now as
your superior officer, but as a man--as your father might speak to you.
Believe what I say. Fulfill your duty as a man of honor."
"I cannot follow your advice," answered Wilhelm gentle, but firmly.
He was painfully conscious that his answer sounded more roughly and
harshly than he intended, but he knew it was impossible to go into a
long philosophical discussion, kind and well-meaning as the commandant
was.
"We have more than fulfilled our promise, major," said the commandant,
and turning to Wilhelm, "Thank you, Herr--"
The major looked out of the window, and Wilhelm had to go without being
able to thank him by a look. He felt, however, that this time things
had been easier for him to bear, and that the only painful feeling he
had experienced during the interview was the vexation he was giving the
major.
The Militar Wochenblatt published a short account of his discharge. It
made no personal impression on him, but he felt that he was branded in
the eyes of others. It, however, seemed to draw Paul Haber nearer to
him. He avoided talking on the subject, but every one noticed the quiet
way in which he behaved to Wilhelm, his little attentions, his long and
frequent visits, as if he were under the impression that he must
console his friend in this great misfortune, and stand by him as firmly
as possible. Wilhelm knew him as he did himself--how cautious and
practically clever he was, and how dangerous it was for him in his own
position as Reserve officer to keep up this confidential intercourse
with one who had been turned from a hero to a judicially dismissed
officer, how perilous for the connection he had with celebrated and
influential people, and for the appearance he must keep up in society.
Wilhelm valued and appreciated all Paul's heroism in remaining so true
and stanch to him, he did not ask for these things, but they were
freely given by one who ran the risk of becoming poor, so he was deeply
grateful to him.
He considered himself under an obligation to go once more to the
Ellrichs', to formally take leave of them; but when he rang at their
door he was told that the family had gone away to Heringsdorf. As this
had occurred, Paul did not think it necessary to tell his friend what
he had heard through Fraulein Marker, namely, that the Ellrichs were
very angry about the affair of the duel, and had given orders before
they went away that Wilhelm was not to be admitted if he called.
Wilhelm now wrote to Loulou (he had avoided doing so earlier), a short,
dignified letter, in which he begged her forgiveness for having been so
long in finding out the state of his feelings, as the struggle had been
hard and painful, but he could now no longer conceal the fact that
their characters were not sufficiently in harmony to insure happiness
together for a lifetime. He thanked her for the happiest week in his
life, and for the deepest and sweetest feelings he had ever
experienced, and which would always remain the dearest memory of his
life. His photograph was shortly afterward sent back to him, from
Ostend; but his letter remained unanswered. He did not learn therefore,
that it had made an exceedingly bad impression, and that Frau Ellrich
had only been restrained with difficulty by her daughter from writing
to tell him how impertinent she thought it of him to appear to take the
initiative, when her daughter had first refused to receive him. Herr
von Pechlar obtained a long leave, which he spent at Heringsdorf. In
September the Kreuzzeitung announced his betrothal to Fraulein Ellrich,
which was followed in the winter by their brilliant wedding.
The breaking of Wilhelm's relations with Loulou left a great blank in
his life. Up till now he had had in pleasant, hopeful hours, an object
to which all the paths in his life led him, to which his thoughts were
drawn as a ship steers for a distant yet secure harbor; now the object
was gone, and when he looked forward to his future it seemed like the
gray surface of the sea at dusk, formless, limitless, without meaning
or interest. Even the painful doubt he had been in, his hesitation
between the resolve to persevere in the engagement, or to renounce it,
the fight between his intelligence and his inclinations, had become
familiar to him, and had filled his thoughts by day and his dreams by
night. These must now all be renounced. If for the last half-year his
love had been only a quiet happiness, or a hardly-defined desire, it
was at any rate an occupation for his mind, and he missed the
employment very greatly.
He became quieter than ever; his face lost its youthful, healthy color,
and he appeared like the typical lover famed in classic story. But his
friends did not laugh at him; they bore with him, treated him gently,
as if he had been a disappointed girl. Paul, who was filling the place
of an invalided professor of agricultural chemistry, and working hard
after the college term began, found time to come every day for a long
walk in the Thiergarten, and resigned himself to long philosophical
discussions which so far had not been at all to his taste. Dr.
Schrotter seldom had any spare time during the day; but Wilhelm always
took tea with him in the evenings.
Did Bhani know anything of his story?
Had her womanly instinct guessed that his careworn, melancholy
expression betrayed an unhappy love story--a subject so sympathetic to
women? Anyhow she anticipated every means of serving him, and her
glance betrayed an almost shamefaced sympathy.
One November evening they were sitting at the little drum-shaped table
in the Indian drawing-room; the teaurn steaming, and Bhani standing
near, ready to obey her master's slightest wish. Schrotter touched on
the wound in Wilhelm's heart hitherto so tenderly avoided.
"My friend," he said, "it is time that you came to yourself. It is
obvious that you are still grieving, instead of fighting against your
dreams; you give way to them without a struggle."
Wilhelm hung his head. "You are right. It is foolish; for I see that I
do not love the girl deeply enough to spoil my life."
"Come now. You were more in love than you thought; but it is always so;
even in pure and passionless natures human nature is very strong, and
the first young and pretty girl who comes near enough to you brings out
all the dormant feelings, and reason disappears. People often do the
maddest things in this period of unrest, which they repent all their
after life. I have always mistrusted a first love. One must be quite
satisfied that it is for an individual, and not merely the natural
inclination for the other sex asserting itself. Your first love, my
poor Eynhardt, certainly belongs to this class. Your youthful
asceticism has had its revenge; now that your reason has got hold of
the reins again, the rebellion of your instinct will soon be subdued."
"I hope so," said Wilhelm.
"I am sure of it. There is no doubt about the end of crises like these,
and it really is difficult to take the misery they cause seriously,
although it is bad enough while it lasts. It is the most overpowering
and yet the least dangerous of diseases. The patient gives himself up
for lost, and the doctor can hardly help smiling, because he knows that
the malady will only run its course, and will stop like a clock at its
appointed time. He can, however, hasten the cure, if he can bring the
patient to his own conviction."
He was silent, and seemed sunk in thought. Then he began again
suddenly: "I will read you a story about this; nothing is more
instructive than a clinical picture."
Bhani sprang to her feet and hastened toward him, but he put her aside
with a word, and going into his study he appeared again bearing a folio
bound in leather and with the corners fastened with copper.
"This is my diary," he said. "I have had the weakness to keep this
since I was sixteen. There are three volumes already, and I began the
fourth when I returned to Germany. Listen now, and don't put yourself
under any constraint. I will laugh with you."
He opened the folio, and after a short search began to read. It was the
romance of his early life, written in the form of a diary, simply told
at some length. Quite an ordinary story of an acquaintanceship made
with a pretty girl, the daughter of a bookseller, who sat next to him
in a theater. Meetings out of doors, then the introduction to her
parents' house, and then the betrothal. The Revolution of 1848 broke
out, and the many demands on the young doctor turned his thoughts away
for the time from plans of marriage. His fiancee greatly admired the
fiery orator and fighter at barricades, and told him so, in
enthusiastic speeches and letters. The father, however, had no sympathy
with reactionaries, and soon conceived a violent antipathy for his
future single-minded son-in-law. As long as the democratic party held
the upperhand, he kept his feelings in the background, making
nevertheless endless pretexts for delaying the marriage. The party of
reactionaries broke up, however, and the bookseller declared war; he
forbade the young democrat to enter his house, and even denounced him
to the police. The young lovers were, of course, dreadfully unhappy,
and vowed to be true to one another. He determined to go away, and
tried to persuade her to go with him. She was frightened, but he was
audacious and insisted. They would go to London, and be married there;
he could earn his living, and they would defy the father's curse. All
was arranged; but at the last moment her courage failed, and she
confessed all to the tyrant, who set the police on the young man's
track, and sent the girl away to relations in Brandenburg. The
unfortunate lover's letters were unanswered. He left Germany, and heard
after some weeks that his betrothed was married to a well-to-do
jeweler, apparently without any great coercion.
This story was disentangled from letters, conversations, accounts of
opinions in the form of monologues, interviews, visits, and
descriptions of sea-voyages; all sufficiently commonplace. But what
excitement these daily effusions showed! What boundless happiness about
kisses, what cries of anguish when the storm broke! Would it not be
better to commit suicide and die together? Was it possible that this
quiet man with his apathetic calm could ever have been through these
stormy times? It did not seem credible, and Schrotter seemed conscious
of the immense difference between the man who had written the book and
the man who now read it. His voice had a slightly ironical sound, and
he parodied some of the scenes in reading them, by exaggerating the
pathos. But this could not last long. The real feeling which sighed and
sobbed between the pages made itself felt, and carried him back from
the cold present to the storm-heated past; he became interested, then
grave, and if he had not suddenly shut the book with a bang when he
came to the place where his faithless love was married, who knows--
At all events, Wilhelm had not smiled once; his eyes even showed signs
of tears. Schrotter took the book into the other room, and when he came
back every trace of emotion in look and manner had vanished.
"So you see," he began, "a sensible boy like I am has behaved like an
ass in the past. But I did not shoot myself after all, that was so far
good, and I am ashamed to tell you how soon I got over it. I often go
past her shop in Unter den Linden, and see her through the window
beyond all her brilliants and precious stones. She is still very
pretty, and seems happy, much happier no doubt than if she had been
with me. She would certainly not recognize me now, and I can look at
her and my heart beats no whit the faster. Dwell on my example."
"I am not sure that you are not slandering yourself."
"You can feel easy about that," said Schrotter earnestly. "The
disenchantment was quick and complete, and very naturally so. Just get
Schopenhauer's 'objectivity' out of your head; I don't believe in
Plato's theory of the soul divided into two halves which are forever
trying to join again. Every sane man has ten thousand objects which are
able to awaken and return his love. All he has to do is not to go out
of their way."
"Ought not there to be an individual one?"
"I venture to say no. The story of the pine trees of Ritter Toggenburg,
which love the palm trees, is the creation of a sentimental poet.
Lawgivers in India to all appearance believe in faithfulness unto
death; and the widow or even the betrothed follows her husband to the
grave of her own free will. This free-will offering only comes,
however, by aid of the sharpest threatening of punishment. I have known
fourteen-year-old widows who offered themselves miserably to be burned.
If they had known how soon they would be consoled, and new love sprang
up, they would have violently resisted such suicide! Bhani there is a
living example of this,"
As she heard her name she looked up, and Wilhelm intercepted a look
between her and Dr. Schrotter, which all at once made clear to him what
he had vaguely suspected before. He turned his head sadly toward the
window, and looked out into the foggy autumn evening. He felt almost as
if he had committed a crime, in having discovered a secret which had
not been freely revealed to him.